Chapter Nine #2
His jaw clenched. Photos could be airbrushed but tonight they’d be on show before hundreds of curious spectators. When he announced their engagement everyone needed to be convinced it was real. That it was what they both wanted.
What he didn’t need was a bride-to-be who looked as if she were stepping onto a hangman’s scaffold. Or one who regarded the flawless emerald on her ring finger as a prop .
How mistaken he’d been, thinking she’d like the ring. As soon as he’d seen it he’d wanted to see it on her finger. Almost as if he wanted to mark her as his own. It was a primitive, possessive instinct that didn’t match their situation at all and made him uncomfortable whenever he thought of it.
Her response had drained his satisfaction at finding the perfect piece.
Stupid to feel rebuffed over a piece of jewellery. There were more important things at stake. Like making tonight look convincing.
Women had always been easy for him. He was used to their interest, their attention, their desire. He’d never imagined he’d have to coach a woman into acting as if she wanted to be with him.
He reached her suite, knocked and entered at the sound of her voice.
Midstride over the threshold, he halted. His hand clenched on the doorknob, his bow tie seemed to tighten around his throat. There was a thrumming in his ears as she moved towards him. He tried to swallow but it felt ridiculously difficult, as if he’d forgotten how.
All that in just a second. Then he stepped forward, closing the door behind him.
‘Annalena, you look spectacular.’ So spectacular, his voice sounded as if he spoke over ground glass.
He’d come intending to compliment her, to put her at ease before tonight’s function. But this was no compliment, just a statement of fact.
She wore her hair up, not in an old-fashioned plaited coronet, but a sleek twist. Her face was different, her eyes smokier, her cheekbones accentuated and her mouth…
Her mouth.
He made himself drag his gaze away.
Her dress was simple yet stunning. Strapless, it was shaped to skim her body, glorying in her curves before falling in a straight column to the floor. There were no puffy skirts or outlandish ornamentation. Just Annalena, classically sophisticated and heartbreakingly beautiful.
The dress was emerald green like her eyes. The neckline dipped a little between her breasts, edged with what looked like diamonds.
She wore no jewellery except her ring, but from her shoulders, attached to the dress, hung a transparent, full-length cape of green studded with a galaxy of diamonds.
Benedikt hauled in air to constricted lungs.
‘Thank you.’ Her voice had a husky edge he liked. ‘So do you. Formal evening clothes suit you.’
He shook his head. There was no comparison. He moved closer, something inside him dipping as she stiffened.
That wouldn’t do, not tonight.
His concern wasn’t just for the image they’d project. He hated her instinctive withdrawal.
Deliberately he conjured a light tone as he stopped before her. ‘They look like tiny stars. Did you raid the treasury for diamonds?’
Her eyes widened and she looked down at the filmy material cascading from her shoulders. Her hand lifted as if to touch, then fell. ‘Just diamantés, not the real thing. Don’t worry. The royal coffers are safe.’
A tiny smile curved her lips and lit her face.
If only he could entice that smile more often. Get her to smile that way at him . At this rate no one would be convinced by their betrothal announcement.
He dragged in much-needed oxygen and with it came an elusive scent. The light but seductive perfume of mountain meadows and spring flowers.
Warmth enveloped him like Alpine sunshine and he leaned in. Instantly she took a half-step back, making him clamp his jaw.
‘You’re early. We’re not due to open the ball for a while.’
‘Yet you’re ready.’
She lifted her shoulders in a shrug that should have been casual but seemed jerky. ‘I didn’t want to run late. I wanted to look…right.’
It was the first time she’d come close to admitting to nerves or uncertainty. As if to make up for it, she held her head high, her expression calm.
Benedikt wasn’t fooled. He felt her tension. ‘You look amazing. You’d be the belle of the ball even without our announcement.’
Her expression was quizzical. ‘Thank you. Let’s hope it goes smoothly.’
‘That’s why I’m here. There’s something we need to fix before we appear in public.’
She frowned. ‘Fix? All the arrangements are made. Your staff have been force-feeding me information on the guests for days, not to mention details of how the evening will proceed and every possible etiquette issue.’
‘You’ll deal with all that easily. And I’ll be with you if you’re unsure about anything.’
‘So what’s the problem?’
‘This.’
He reached out and touched her hand. Immediately she flinched before standing stiffly, as unresponsive as a piece of wood.
‘Are you scared of me?’
‘Of course I’m not scared.’
Predictably her chin lifted. But her poise was undercut by the way she clamped her teeth into her bottom lip. He wanted to soothe the soft flesh with his own.
‘Do you find me abhorrent?’ He didn’t believe it but had to ask. ‘Every time we come close you stiffen up. At the photo shoot you looked like you wanted to be anywhere else but with me.’
‘What do you want me to say, Benedikt? I didn’t ask for this.’ She waved her hand in a gesture that encompassed both him and the palace. ‘You know I don’t want it.’
He’d had a long, difficult week too, as difficult as hers. His patience snapped.
‘You think I wanted things to work out this way?’ He’d never wanted to marry.
He’d seen close up how poisonous and destructive marriage could be.
Only his sense of duty forced his hand, and the hope he’d do better than his parents.
‘This is bigger than you or me. Bigger than our personal wants. We agreed that.’
Her head tipped back, making him realise he’d stepped in close. But she didn’t look intimidated. Her hands were on her hips, her eyebrows arching superciliously. She’d never looked more desirable.
Light flashed off her emerald ring as she gesticulated. ‘Which is why I’m dressed like this, ready to go through with tonight’s farce. I’m delivering on my side of the deal.’
Her eyes glittered, diffidence replaced by pride and a challenge he felt deep in his gut.
Now this wasn’t about a show for the world to see. It was about him and her.
He wanted to curl his arm around her back, tug her close and feel those soft curves against his hardness. He wanted her eyes to turn brilliant with sensual invitation and later, with sated delight.
He wanted Annalena. And despite her anger now, he’d seen the looks she’d sent him this last week when she thought he wasn’t paying attention. Looks that made him suspect her tension wasn’t about repugnance but something quite different.
Benedikt forced his hands to stay at his sides rather than reach for her.
‘It’s not enough. You need to do more.’
‘More? I’m marrying you. There is no more.’
He was already shaking his head. ‘It’s not enough to go through the motions. You have to make it look convincing. If you flinch every time I get near, no one will believe in our marriage or our partnership as rulers.’
Her eyes darkened and for a second he wondered if he read fear in her eyes. Then the illusion disintegrated. He saw only impatience.
‘You want me to nestle close and simper?’
A bark of laughter escaped. ‘I can’t imagine you simpering but I’d love to see you try.’
He’d enjoy her nestling close, reaching for him.
Slowly her mouth curled into a rueful smile. ‘You’re right, I wouldn’t have a clue how.’
Benedikt waited. Now her flash of anger had disintegrated, she seemed to mull over his words.
‘I’m not a good actor.’
‘Of course you are. Remember the day you strode into my office and threatened to take the crown from me? You were so self-assured, as if you had no doubts that you’d succeed. But you can’t have known for sure it would work.’
‘Anger can make anyone brave.’
‘Maybe. But what about when we signed the marriage agreement? The witnesses commented later on your poise. You took it all in your stride with complete confidence.’ Benedikt lowered his voice. ‘But I saw how your hand shook and how you needed time to bring yourself to sign.’
She chewed her lip. ‘You weren’t supposed to notice.’
But he had and his admiration for her had soared.
‘Think of all those times when you’ve had to project the image people expect, as Princess of Edelforst, or presenting at some academic conference. You’re good at hiding trepidation, good at being the person people need you to be.’
Her eyes were wide and her lips parted as if he’d shocked her to the core.
‘Did you really think I was so oblivious I wouldn’t notice? You play a good game, Annalena, but don’t forget I grew up learning those same skills. I can hide my feelings and put on a public face too.’
She breathed deeply, her sigh fluttering across his chin. ‘This isn’t quite the same.’
He didn’t have a name for the emotion that rippled across her features, but it made him regret that he’d had to force her hand.
‘No. Not for either of us.’
Though he had no qualms about touching her. Increasingly it seemed the most natural thing in the world.
Warmth closed around his hand and he looked down to see slim fingers curling around his. His heart lurched. It felt like a breakthrough. Instantly he was reminded of those breathless moments in the summerhouse when he’d caressed her and been so sure she wanted him.
‘Is that better?’
He looked up to find his gaze snared by gorgeous green eyes. ‘It’s a start.’
A hint of a frown skated over her forehead. ‘What more do you want? We’re standing close and I’m touching you.’
‘But what if I reach for you? Will you startle and pull away before you have a chance to school your features?’
Her mouth crimped at the corners. ‘I’ll work on it, okay? Maybe you could warn me if you’re going to touch me.’
‘And how would that play out in public?’ He shook his head. ‘That won’t always be possible.’
‘Okay, okay.’ She blew out a gusty breath. ‘I take your point. I promise not to tense up if you touch me.’
‘Easily said, Annalena.’
Her eyes narrowed. ‘You don’t trust me?’
He shrugged, enjoying the spark in her eyes. Seeing her feisty and fearless did something to him, his libido especially.
‘It’s not a matter of trust, but getting acclimatised to my touch. But we don’t have time to take things slowly. How about we take a short cut?’
She tilted her head, scrutinising him like some scientific specimen. Did she even notice that he’d turned his hand to thread his fingers through hers?
‘What sort of short cut?’
Benedikt failed to repress his smile. ‘A kiss. Then you’ll see you’ve nothing to fear from me. After that having me touch your back or your arm will be a walk in the park. What do you say? Shall we?’