Chapter Four
Chapter Four
Dusk had fallen in sudden bursts that evening, bringing with it a welcome chill as Nyra walked around the terrace of the apartment by Lake Navigli.
The roof garden that had always felt like a safe haven now felt like a cage. But fainting into Adriano’s arms put paid to any ideas she’d had of doing this alone.
She’d never passed out in her life before, and doing so that afternoon had scared her just as much as it had him.
The doctor he’d summoned had checked her and pronounced it had been heat exhaustion and cautioned her to hydrate better.
Despite the shock of his arrival, she’d had to reassure Adriano that she had already been feeling dizzy and dehydrated by the time he had arrived. And that he hadn’t pushed her to it.
Still, guilt was a powerful emotion and it rode him hard the rest of the day. And in that mood, when he got to that stubborn place, no one had the power to gainsay Adriano Cavalieri. And she’d been shaken enough that when he’d loaded her into his air-conditioned car, after exchanging tense words with the doctor, she’d complied. Her only demand had been that he didn’t bring her to the villa. The last thing she felt prepared to do was face his family just then.
She’d promptly fallen asleep, only waking when he’d settled her into the vast bed, their bed , and gently pushed her sweaty hair back from her forehead.
Sighing, she had leaned into his hand, grabbed it between hers, rolled over and fallen back asleep. And she knew he had stayed there, at her back, until she’d released his hand, that he’d held her when she’d cried in her sleep.
Her face flamed now, even as the cool breeze licked her skin. She needed to stop acting so soppy around him. Just because he had cared for her this afternoon, acted as if she were truly his cherished, precious, pregnant wife didn’t mean it was real.
A soft cashmere shawl landed on her shoulders, gently enough not to spook her.
She stilled, fighting the childish urge to throw it back in his face. She couldn’t tire herself, and her willpower, by engaging in silly fights with him. She had to choose her battles wisely.
“Thank you,” she whispered, casting him a sidelong glance. And then her gaze got stuck there, on his profile, as it always did.
In the moonlight, his still-wet hair gleamed like it was made of onyx, a little gray peeking through at the temples. A dark olive green sweater hugged his broad chest, trying and failing to bring him to some earthly, casual plane. His lower lip was viciously caught in his teeth. He had a habit of chewing on his lip when he was deep in thought.
The memory of threatening to kiss that stern mouth every time he went off into some deep thought washed through her, bringing soft heat to her limbs.
God, how was she going to get through the next few months when he was a constant temptation? She’d already learned that some women—of course she had to be one of them—felt extra horny and sexual during their pregnancy.
Just her luck that he would discover that and use it as another carrot stick to control her. Although, she would prefer the other stick he had on him.
An unsanctioned giggle burst forth from her lips at the naughty thought and she stumbled. Instantly, his hand came to her elbow and stilled. As if knowing that she wouldn’t welcome a deeper touch.
“I’m glad to hear you laugh, bella . Care to share what brought it on?”
“Nope,” she said, popping the p like an annoying teenager.
She felt his sigh before she heard it. Tension thrummed through him, even if he did his best not to betray it. “Is the exhaustion from the afternoon gone, then?”
“Yes. The nap did a lot of good. As did the juice bar and the juice specialist with fifteen different choices on the menu. Kind of overkill for one person, don’t you think?”
“It’s more convenience than anything else. I would prefer to never see you faint like that again in the near future. Or ever again.”
“Yeah, sure. I’ll do my best to keep your peace of mind intact.”
“Nyra, I…”
“We didn’t finish our discussion from this afternoon.”
“Your twin will get every possible care given to her. She’s landed in Switzerland and checked into the clinic. They will send us an update every few days. I’ve told them to add your email to the list.”
Instantly, her throat filled up. When she’d begged Bruno to connect her to her twin, Nadia had come on the line but refused to talk. Only her sobs had been audible, and Nyra had conducted the conversation one-sided, telling her that she loved her, that she’d get over this little setback and that she was dying to hug her.
“Thank you for arranging that,” Nyra said, clearing her throat. “That’s not what I meant though. I had no doubt that you’d take care of all that once you gave your word.”
“Such trust in me, Nyra?”
She laughed at his neat little maneuver. “Arranging all this for my sister probably took you one click of your clever fingers. You have the resources, the capability and now the interest in arranging it. This is nothing to you.”
“And yet you didn’t think of coming to me for help,” he pointed out, and this time, Nyra did fall into the trap and wriggled.
In nine months of their marriage, she’d discovered that he wasn’t only magnetic and sexy as fuck, but kind and generous beneath that power humming on the surface. But she couldn’t trust him. She hadn’t been able to trust her own parents to keep her safe.
“When we first met, you wouldn’t have cast me a second glance if I opened my considerable, media-icky baggage. The divide between an exotic dancer and a banker was already wide enough.”
“You’re projecting your fears onto me,” he said, sounding angry.
She sighed. “We’ll never know how you might have reacted. Ever since my father’s embezzlement was discovered and he was arrested, we lost so many friends. And you…you’re a pillar of respectability in the banking world. Even after I realized who you were, how bad our association could become for you, I couldn’t stop. I wanted you too much.” The words rushed out of her. It was a slip, yes, but also the truth. “Not for worldly gain or to be seen with a powerful man. I found you attractive and then interesting. It was a double whammy.”
If she assumed that he would tease her for it, or even use it as some kind of upper hand in this battle, she would’ve been proved wrong.
He lifted his chin in acknowledgment, his lip caught between his teeth. Her gaze lingered on his angular profile, honeyed heat drizzling through her. If she were honest with herself now, his ruthless actions hadn’t dimmed his appeal one bit. Which struck her as the height of unfair.
“I should have brought my conditions up before I fainted and followed you here like a dutiful little puppy,” she said, wistfully.
“Is that how you see yourself with me, Nyra?” He sounded almost…sad at the picture she painted.
She shrugged, refusing to elaborate.
“Tell me your conditions.”
“I’m not sure how your parents will react to this pregnancy, given everything I’ve done. I refuse to be subjected to their brand of venom through the pregnancy. So leave me here.”
“Hiding you here looks like you’re truly guilty. For all my sins, I’ve never backed away from admitting when I’m wrong.” He cast her a sidelong, assessing glace. “And while I never meant it like that, keeping you here, separated from the rest of my life made it look like I was ashamed of you.”
“That isn’t on you,” she said, her fair-mindedness forcing her to speak. “I chose to…”
“Why did you never tell me how they treated you when I wasn’t present?”
This time, she had no answer.
“I never made you believe that I would be okay with them calling you names to your face, treating you like you were some cheap tart I picked up by mistake, bella . Please—” frustration rattled the word as it fell through his tight lips “—do not put that sin at my feet.”
“I…I don’t know why I didn’t come to you,” Nyra admitted, even if it made her feel raw again. “It felt like telling to the teacher. I guess I thought you’d…” She cut herself off there. “I didn’t dare test the tenuous bond we had.”
His jaw locked up so tight that she would need a jackhammer to break through. A tenderness she didn’t want to feel toward him coiled in her chest. He’d doubted her loyalty, even her character, but there was no denying the fact that she had lied to him. A lot. The why she was too exhausted to plumb her own behavior just then. “Not telling you and not standing up to them was both foolish and cowardly. But I’m telling you now and—”
“They will all apologize to you. Will continue to, until you’re satisfied.”
Nyra stopped so fast that her head spun. “That’s…that’s not what I asked for, Adriano. Really, they would just hate me more if you humiliated them.”
“That’s a problem I will deal with directly this time,” he said, taking the ends of her shawl and pulling them tight. He bopped the tip of her nose in a playful gesture, but his words weren’t light when he said, “I’m already a villain in your book. Keep your conscience light and free.”
Nyra was only capable of nodding.
He turned, taking away temptation with him. “What else?”
“I want that trust fund for my…for the babies,” she amended. “You can lock it up however you want.”
“For when you leave me,” he added, without missing a beat.
“I’m learning to be…smart. For them,” she said, palming her belly over the shawl.
“That’s…smart,” he said, and then grinned.
It was impossible not to smile in return. The prospect of being parents touched every glance and word, every interaction between them.
He would make a wonderful father—Nyra knew it as surely as she knew her own rasping breath. But them together as a couple was a different matter. A mirage that she would never believe in again.
“I have one more condition,” she said.
“Tell me.”
She bit her lip. “It’s more a generous gift I’m trying to trick out of you since you’re in a receptive mood.”
“No con man or woman would admit to the con before they spring it.”
“Hey, I’m still learning,” she said, giving him a shoulder nudge. He was so solid that she simply swung in the opposite direction instantly. Even with her growing girth.
His arm snaked out to catch her by the waist, that same flicker of fear dancing in his eyes again. “Careful, Nyra.”
There was anger and command and more in his words. That raw, simmering emotion that he never let rise to the surface. Could there be anything more than common decency under his fear for her?
God, she was a pushover.
“Tell me what you plan to con out of me.”
“When my sister…whenever Nadia gets out of the rehab clinic, I would like to have her live with me. Provide her with some kind of financial help so that she can make a new start. And—”
“Yes, to everything. I will have a trust fund sort of thing set up for her too. You can review it and see if suits what you have in mind. Except having her near you if she gets discharged during the pregnancy.”
“What? Why?”
“You’re clearly very emotional about her, and I don’t want you to distress yourself if she slips up or if your reunion doesn’t go as planned. Or if she isn’t interested at all in getting to know you. I know that she refused to say a word to you on the call.”
That blunt reminder hurt, but Nyra couldn’t change her mind. “She’s my twin, Adriano. I’ve tried to find her for years.”
“So a few more months won’t be that much, si ?” he threw back seamlessly.
He was right, and yet Nyra was feeling contrary enough not to want to fall in with his plans. “And what about you?”
“What about me, cara mia ?”
“You…create emotional distress in me too. Being around you reminds me how naive and stupid I was. How I let you—”
His palm came to rest against her mouth. “Stop it, Nyra. You were not, are not , any of those things. I was—” his nostrils flared “—in the wrong. The minute I knew you were lying to me or hedging the truth as it were, my view of you got skewed. I do not handle…” He thrust a hand through his hair. “When I saw those photographs…”
“I don’t want to talk about them,” Nyra said, slapping her hand over his mouth now. “I…can’t have a reasonable discussion about it.”
“When, then?”
“Maybe never,” she said perversely.
He grasped her wrist, pressing his fingers over the pulse. “Is that all you want of me?”
She swallowed. “Yes. That’s all I want of you.”
“ Bene,” he said with a wistfulness she’d never seen in him. Something unsaid tinged the cool night air around them. Something as hungry and bright as her longing for him. “I will leave you to settle in, in peace.”
Nyra nodded, feeling bereft at the thought of sleeping alone in that fluffy, cloudlike bed.
In the nine months that they’d been married—three of which he’d been traveling—she had gotten thoroughly spoiled with a comfort she hadn’t known in years. Since Nadia and she had been separated at the age of thirteen, to be exact.
Not sleeping alone was a luxury.
In that, she had hit the jackpot with Adriano. The man was a live furnace, his densely packed body giving off heat like no one else’s business. And even better, he liked to share that heat with her by wrapping those corded forearms, and those lean, powerful legs all around her.
While she was always cold. He would do an exaggerated pretend shiver every time she tucked her cold feet between his shins and then warm her fingers between his large hands.
But it wasn’t her body that he’d warmed on all those nights when he pulled himself away from the bank and his family and came to her. To this apartment.
It was the cold frost that she’d surrounded her heart with that he had melted with his passion, his kindness, his attention.
Only now, when she didn’t have it, did Nyra realize how little she had understood what he gave her. And how well he’d protected her against the cold and the world.
Until he had ripped it all away from her in one moment. Throwing her out to the cold world again, with no hesitation.
But now she had her self-respect, as much as it would warm her up in a cold bed. And she wasn’t going to give it up in a hurry.
When he bid her good night at the door to their suite, without so much as a kiss on her cheek, tears prickled at the back of her eyes.
God, she was turning into such a contrary, emotional creature but she couldn’t help it. After washing up, she went to his side of the closet, grabbed one of his shirts and pulled it on over her bra and panties, then settled under the luxurious sheets.
If she sniffed his shirt like an addict searching for a high for the next hour, what was the harm?
Clearly, for Adriano, this was all about fixing his mistakes. About protecting her during this fragile time. About ensuring that his children were taken care of in the best way, even before they were born.
It was better she get used to doing things alone again.
* * *
Adriano crept into the bedroom past midnight like a thief, stalking his own home.
The night-light cast a soft glow on Nyra’s bare legs, luring him closer and closer. All he’d wanted to do earlier was to pick her up in his arms, bring her to their bed and prove to her that she wanted him, needed him even, in the only way he knew how.
Contrary to the media speculation and his family’s and friends’ theories, their relationship hadn’t begun with ripping off each other’s clothes.
But when it had happened, when, after three weeks of getting to know each other, she had asked him to kiss her and touch her and do more, the connection had been…intense. Life-changing.
Now he wanted to use that passion to cover the distance she was creating between them. And yet he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it.
He sat down at the edge of the bed and fought the urge to run his hand over her limbs. Dios mio , what was she reducing him to? Why did it feel like he was being pulled apart when suspicion and mistrust filled her eyes? Why did he care if they’d lost the little, inexplicable spark that had always touched their relationship?
It was better this way, wasn’t it? They’d both made missteps, an understatement in his case, but now, this was more rational and out in the open. They both had adjusted their expectations.
When a sudden breeze flew in from the open balcony and goose bumps rose on her long legs, he pulled the kicked-off duvet over her. With a long huff, she turned to her side, facing him.
Slowly, gently, he pushed the thick curls away from her forehead. And saw the tear tracks on her cheeks.
How he detested being her villain…
As for her threat that she would leave him eventually, he would not, could not, allow that. There had to be a solution to fix his mistake. To make her move on.
From the beginning, Nyra had been easy to please, easy to fit into his life around his other, more important commitments. She’d barely made any demands of him, eager for a quiet life, choosing to be left out of the society he ruled altogether.
She’d become a quiet haven for a man who hadn’t even known he’d needed one.
He wanted that again. He wanted them to find their places in their relationship again, where he would protect her and give her the stability and simple life she’d wanted. And she would look at him again as if he’d hung the moon and stars.
For all the power he held in his palm though, he didn’t know how to win her back.