CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Tessa
T HE YACHT IS a catamaran, with living quarters strung between the two hulls and a massive white sail stretching toward the horizon. It’s a stunning boat with a lounge deck up top, complete with the plump pillows for sunbathing. The main deck boasts the galley with an outdoor dining space, the rails lined with more lounges and cushions. And down below, an en suite with a cozy bed and walk-in shower.
I lift my head from where I’m sitting on the sundeck to watch Rafe at the wheel just a few feet below me. As in everything he does, he looks confident, at ease with his surroundings even as his eyes constantly sweep the horizon.
“When did you take up sailing?”
“Two years ago.” He glances up at me, his eyes shielded by his sunglasses. “The CEO of a business I wanted to acquire was an avid sailor.” He gestures to the yacht. “So I bought it, took lessons, and when he came to Greece, I took him out on the yacht.”
My jaw drops. “You bought a yacht and learned how to sail just make a business deal happen?”
He smirks up at me. “It worked.”
I watch his hands expertly move the wheel as he navigates us toward a private cove. When he had first walked down with me to the dock and I’d seen the boat, I’d been excited, thinking that finally here was something Rafe did to relax. Something he enjoyed.
But with Rafe, it was once again about business, and only business.
I roll over on my back and adjust my sunglasses. It didn’t matter. Shouldn’t matter, I silently correct myself. It does matter because my feelings are still there. I’d been lying to myself when I thought I was getting over him. Being in Paris provided the necessary distance for me to suppress what I felt, pretend that I was getting over him. My time here in Greece has revealed otherwise.
In fact, I think with a soft sigh, my time here has deepened what I started to feel ten years ago. There’s nothing to do about it. He’s made it perfectly clear he has no interest in a real marriage, and allowing himself to return my feelings. And I will not live any more of my life for someone else.
Even if it means breaking my own heart when I say goodbye.
I push away the negative thoughts and focus on the sun warming my body. I have this last day. One last day to be Rafe’s wife in full and enjoy both the physical pleasure and moments of connection we’ve experienced because of it.
A cove embraces us as Rafe sails in, steep stone walls cradling a blue well. Rafe drops the anchor just off the beach before disappearing into the galley.
“Hungry?”
“Very,” I call down as I reach for my crutches.
I meet Rafe on the deck and smile at the food he’s arranged on the table, complete with glasses of wine, slices of tomato covered in mozzarella and shredded basil, toasted crackers with tzatziki, and the delicious aroma of gyro meat drifting up from a bowl.
“You can cook.”
“More like I can pull food out of the container my chef sent,” Rafe says as he pulls back my chair.
We help ourselves to the generous lunch.
“How did you decide on diving?”
I bite into a piece of tomato, chew for a moment as I think.
“Because it scared me. It was my first weekend trip away from Paris. Katie already had plans to go to Switzerland with some friends on one of her university breaks and invited me to come along. I wasn’t going to go. I was worried I would just slow her down.” I smile. “But she insisted.”
“You two have grown close.”
“We have. She could have been resentful or even angry at how much attention my mother gave me and not her. Instead, she just embraced me. I took her for granted.”
“But you don’t anymore.”
“No,” I say softly. “Not anymore. We were there at the lake, and some of her friends wanted to go on a hike. The trail wasn’t accessible, so I opted to stay behind. Next to the café was a diving shop. The owner came out and started talking to me. I told him how much I love to swim. He suggested diving. At first I thought he was joking. But then he started talking to me about it working with other people who have mobility challenges and disabilities. And I was on a calm lake that was the perfect place to explore diving.”
He tilts his head to one side. “You were scared.”
“Terrified. Moving to Paris was one thing. But tackling something physical that I had never even thought of as a possibility? Plus the risk of failure is a little different when you’re under the water.”
“But you love it now.”
I think back to that first moment, when I sank under the water and took my first breath.
“It was…freedom. I could move. I didn’t have to think about what was accessible, if I could move my wheelchair here, rest my crutches there. I could simply just go. Even though sound is amplified under the water, it’s a different type of noise. Like a constant shushing. Peaceful.”
“Thank you for sharing it with me today.”
I smile at him. “Do you think you’ll do more of it?”
“Perhaps.”
I try to hide my disappointment at his answer. I know he enjoyed it. But nothing’s changed.
Nothing will change, I remind myself. Enjoy the moment. Focus on the now.
We enjoy the rest of our meal. As the sun dips down toward the horizon, I glance up at the sundeck.
“What do you think about dessert up there?”
“All right.”
I can’t get a read on his mood. He’s engaged with me throughout dinner, paid attention to everything I’ve said. He’s not as distant as he has been, but there’s definitely a wall between us. As if he, too, is anticipating what’s coming next.
Rafe helps me navigate the stairs up to the sundeck as water gently laps against the hull of the boat, then disappears back downstairs. He rejoins me a moment later with the drinks and a plate of gourmet chocolates circled by raspberries and strawberries. We sit, sipping our wine and savoring the sweetness of dessert as the waves turn golden orange, then dim to a violet hue.
“Do you remember that party nine years ago? Your father’s birthday party. It started to rain halfway through and the lights went out.”
His lips tighten. “All too well. He was furious, as if the weather itself had decided not to listen to him.”
“I went out on the balcony when I first got there. I didn’t realize you were out there.”
He glances over at me, his eyes moving up and down my body. “I remember. You were wearing a pink dress.”
My mouth drops open as warmth blooms in my chest. “You remember that?”
“I do.” He pauses. “Before you realized I was there, you looked sad.”
I smile slightly. “Yes. That was most of my life. But not now.”
No. Not now.
I set down my wineglass. His eyes sharpen as I place my hand on his chest and push him back.
“I want to taste you.”
His lips part as his gaze darkens. “Tessa…”
“Please.”
His chuckle is strangled. “How can I say no?”
I grab the hem of his shirt and pull it up over his head, running my hands up his muscled chest before I gently push him back. He lies down on the cushions and watches me as I slide my fingers under the waistband of his shorts. I slowly pull them down, anticipation climbing higher as his hard length springs free.
I toss his shorts to the side, then sit back and look at him.
“You’re staring.”
“You’re impressive.”
Another huff of a laugh, one that morphs into a groan as I wrap my fingers around him. Silk, steel and heat. Feminine power fills me as I move my hand up and down, feel him swell in my grasp.
I release him long enough to move between his legs, bracing my arms on his thighs. The moan he makes when I drag my tongue from root to tip makes me feel like a goddess.
“Tessa,” he growls.
I take him in my mouth, feel the muscles in his legs bunching beneath my hands as his hips thrust against me. I experiment with how fast I move, loving the rapid pace of his breathing when I move quickly just as much as the long, drawn-out groans when I move slowly. Savor the taste, the feel, the intimacy.
He starts to sit up.
“My turn.”
I raise my head. “But I’m not done.”
His eyes are molten. “Now, Tessa.”
“What if we can both be satisfied?”
He trails a gentle hand along my jaw. “I get joy out of pleasing you, Tessa.”
I smile up at him. “I’m glad. But can’t we both please each other?”
Rafe
She can’t be serious. That possessive, animalistic lust rears its head, howls inside me at the thought of what I think she’s suggesting.
“What?”
“If we lay down next to each other and—”
“I’m aware of the mechanics.” A disbelieving smile slowly spreads across my face. “I’m just wondering how you do.”
“One, I read. Two, Katie is not exactly discreet when it comes to her and Nathan’s love life.”
“It’s a very intimate position.”
The minx closes her mouth over the tip of me, gives one long suck that has me struggling to not roll her on her back and slide inside her.
“So is this.”
“All right.” I lean down, tilt her chin up and kiss her hard. “You lead.”
She whisks her top off, revealing a lacy bralette the color of violets. She shimmies out of her shorts. The glimpse of the matching scrap of lace barely covering her most intimate skin leaves my chest so tight I can barely suck in a breath.
“Lay back.”
Her whisper is a command, one edged with an innocent shyness that rocks me. Slips beneath my skin, past my walls and straight into my heart. I lay back, wait for her to lie down next to me. I lay my palm against her hip as I feel her fingers wrap around me again. I pull the strip of lace aside and lower my mouth to her core.
Everything fades. Everything but her, me and the heat blazing between us. I can feel her getting close to the edge, her body tightening as her hips press against my mouth. She’s dragging me closer to the edge, so fast I’m not sure if I’ll be able to hold myself back as the wet heat of her mouth closes over me.
She comes apart beneath my mouth, moaning my name as she shudders. I release her for a fraction of a second as I sit up to grab a condom out of my pants, sheath myself before I cover her body with my own. She’s still trembling as I ease inside her. Her body clamps down on me as her eyes fly open, wide with wonder and pleasure.
“Rafe,” she gasps as I begin to move. “Don’t let go.”
Through the haze of pleasure and desire, I hear something. Something deeper in her words. A request I can’t honor, a promise I can’t keep. I bite back the words I want to say in the moment. Words brought on by the moment, not anything tangible that could last.
But I can give her pleasure.
I kiss her as I move, thrusting in and out of her body, driving us both to the peak. We break together as she cries out. I groan her name and barely resist from collapsing on top of her. Slowly, I lower myself next to her, then reach over and pull her into my arms. Her body is hot, her limbs limp as she chuckles. The simple happiness of it rolls through me.
Until I think about what I have tucked belowdecks. The reason why I invited Tessa out onto the yacht. After diving with her today, accepting that she had invited me to be a part of something intimate and watching as she did something less than 1 percent of people in the world got certified to do, I knew the time had come. I was falling for my wife. I needed to let her go while I still could, when both of us might be able to walk away with as little pain as possible.
Tessa curls into my body, one hand resting over my heart. It gives a hard thump, as if protesting what I’m about to do.
Tomorrow , I tell myself as I close my eyes and pull my wife closer. Just one more night.