Chapter Eleven #2
He was out of the SUV now and holding open the door, looking around. She saw him nod to someone in dark nondescript clothing getting out of another vehicle and asked, ‘Who is that?’
‘Your security. They’ve been replaced by a new team, vetted by me.’
Feeling desperate at this evidence of her real world encroaching ever more steadily, she said, ‘But you can protect me.’
He took her hand, and said, ‘I’m not taking any chances.’
Cassie couldn’t help her bruised heart from wishing he meant not taking any chances because he cared for her, but she knew he was just doing his job.
Before they took a step towards the galleries he faced her and said, ‘When we’re finished here I’m going to hand you back over to your team and you are not to try to evade them again, understand me? ’
He sounded so stern that Cassie looked at him and said meekly, ‘Yes.’
Still holding her hand, he led her into the main gallery.
Ares had organised the tickets ahead of time and so they were able to join the throngs of other tourists, all drinking in the spectacular art.
But already Cassie knew she’d have to come again because this trip was ruined by the distraction of knowing that these were her last few moments with Ares.
So, greedily, she clung to his hand. Not that he was pulling away. And she revelled in standing close to him. Smelling him guiltily like someone with a scent kink, rather than taking in the spine-tingling beauty of Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus.
As they moved from one gallery to the next Cassie asked him, ‘Where will you go from here? Back to New York?’
A muscle ticced in his jaw. ‘No, not straight away. I’ll go to London. I have some meetings lined up there.’
She squeezed his hand. ‘I think you should contact your brother and sisters, Ares, let them in.’
He glanced down at her, a different man from the one who’d forced his way onto her boat. ‘Like the way I let you in?’
But had he? Really? She forced a smile. ‘Exactly, what could possibly go wrong?’
He looked a little arrested when she said that but then people jostled them from behind and his expression cleared and they continued moving with the flow of tourists.
After a while he said, ‘I’ll see.’
Cassie bumped him with her shoulder. ‘No man is an island, Ares. Not even you, or my brother.’
She realised with a pang that they’d come full circle. They were back at the main entrance again. She wondered desperately if she could pretend that she hadn’t noticed and go around the galleries again but Ares was saying, ‘Your security team are waiting.’
She saw the sleek silver SUV and the guards. They looked stony. No doubt under orders not to mess up. Cassie felt sick. Nauseous. Desperate. She couldn’t walk away from Ares without telling him…
She tightened her grip on his hand and looked up at him. ‘Ares.’
Ares steeled himself and looked down. Cassie’s upturned face was visible from under the lip of the hat and he felt as though he knew every curve and dip and line as well as his own. Better.
‘Cass, you need to go—’
She shook her head. ‘No, I need to say something first.’ She looked effortlessly regal in that moment, even in her trousers and silk T-shirt and flat shoes, designed to blend in with the crowd. Her cross-body bag. Who’d he been kidding? She would never blend in. She was a queen.
Not his queen.
‘Ares, do you really believe it’s not possible to have more? Something real? Love?’
Ares’s gut clenched hard. For the first time in his life it wasn’t so easy to dismiss.
Because something had changed in him. Some chink had opened up and illuminated a space for wanting something he’d never wanted before.
And it was her fault. He hardened his heart. When had it become so damned soft?
The moment you saw her dancing in that bar, and you know it.
He shook his head. ‘I’m sure it exists for some, maybe even for you, some day. But not for me.’ His stubbornness was like a hard piece of granite inside him. And there was something else he was too cowardly to admit to. Fear.
Cassie glanced over at where her people were waiting and back to Ares, eyes wide and beseeching. ‘You do know you deserve to be happy, Ares? These last few days…it’s possible to have that. All the time.’
The notion that they could really have that glorious togetherness without the world getting in the way was so…huge that Ares shut it down. She was talking nonsense. It had just been a moment.
If she left now then she’d have a chance of retaining that bright nature, but if Ares did what his dark soul really wanted to do, which was to spirit her away and keep her for himself, then he would dim that light for ever. He couldn’t give her what she wanted. Deserved.
Something had been irreparably broken in him when he’d been so traumatised at a young age. He’d lost a sense of childish optimisim and innocence. He’d cut himself off to protect himself and it was too late to change that now.
‘Ares, I love you.’
She spoke the words and it was too late to demand she take them back. They existed. The chink was cracking open and Ares’s very foundations were crumbling to pieces. No. She didn’t mean it. He was not lovable. He would ruin her. A self-preserving protective reflex snapped into action.
‘No,’ he said fiercely. ‘You don’t. You think you do. It’s been intense, that’s all. You’ll meet someone far better than me, Cass. Someone worthy of being your king.’
‘You are worthy, Ares Drakos. I don’t want anyone else. I won’t. Will you?’
Ares looked at her and pushed down the ache in his chest and forced ice into his veins as he said as coolly as he could, ‘Of course I will. Nothing lasts for ever.’
It doesn’t, he told himself even more fiercely even as he felt as if a part of himself was dying inside. He still wanted her, that was all. It would fade.
He saw the way she went pale and a light went out of her eyes. He told himself it was a good thing, because she would get over this and him. He needed her to hate him a little. So she would go and get on with her life and not look back. She was a queen. He had no claim to her.
‘You need to go, princess. They’re waiting.’ He needed her to go. Now. Because the longer she stood there looking stricken, the more conflicted he felt.
But then he saw the way her eyes flashed at his use of princess and some colour came back into her cheeks. She took a step back and he saw her security team looking around, making ready.
‘No doubt you’re right, nothing lasts for ever.’ She smiled but it was brittle. ‘I’m just not as experienced in these matters as you. Goodbye, Ares.’
Oof. Ares felt the words like a blow. He deserved that.
He’d made her hate him. Good. She turned and was walking away, through the crowds to the discreet SUV parked at the kerb.
And then she was getting inside and the door was closing and the security guy jumped into the front and the car was pulling away and disappearing into the traffic.
And just like that…she was gone and at that moment the sun went behind a massive cloud.
London, two days later
Ares was watching the news, specifically a report from Sadat Sur Mer about Crown Princess Cassandra and how she’d appeared in public for the first time in days to allay the rumours and speculation that all was not well in the palace of Mansur de Roche.
She was greeting a crowd, wearing a simple but smart blue dress, colour-toned to match her shoes. Hair up and sleek. Oozing regal elegance. It made him think of her in that white silk dress she’d worn for dinner, in Spetses. How she’d said, ‘I’ll never get to wear a dress like this at home.’
She was bending down now to greet a little girl who was shy. Cassie’s smile was so infectious that the little girl reached out to touch Cassie’s cheek and Cassie took her hand and spoke to her, making the girl giggle.
Ares didn’t even realise he’d put a hand to his chest to alleviate an ache. She would be an amazing mother. And queen. The people clearly adored her.
‘Ares… Ares…?’
Scowling at the interruption, Ares turned to find his assistant in the doorway. She looked at her watch. ‘Your flight to New York is ready and waiting at the airfield. The driver is downstairs.’
It was time to move on.
Sadat Sur Mer, The Palace
Cassie opened the button at the top of the blue dress she’d worn for the walkabout. She felt constricted. She wanted to strip naked and dive into cool blue waters. Already, it felt like a dream—her Greek odyssey—and she hated that it was fading.
At night she dreamt of it though, and him, and it was clear and vivid. She’d woken with tears on her cheeks this morning. Pathetic.
There was a knock on her office door and she scooped Zoe up into her arms. The dog licked Cassie’s face just as Pierre walked in and he couldn’t hide his delicate shudder of disapproval.
He had a file under his arm, and Cassie already knew what it was. The dreaded prospective husbands.
‘If these are the same as when I left I’m not interested. None of them were suitable.’
Pierre stopped in his tracks. Cassie knew she was different since she’d come back. Less meek and unsure. Less amenable. But in a fair and firm way. Less smiley. Pierre said, ‘No, these are new candidates.’ He sent her a glance, not sure how to deal with this version of the crown princess.
Cassie sat down and said, ‘You can leave it there. I’ll have a look later.’
‘But—’
She looked at Pierre and he stopped talking. ‘Thank you.’
He cleared his throat. ‘There’s just one more thing, Your Highness.’
‘Yes?’
‘The pre-coronation ball.’
‘Yes?’ The ball would be held the night before the coronation, and would be a chance to welcome all of the VIP guests who’d been invited from all over the world.
It would be Cassie’s first properly formal event as almost queen.
Her last as a crown princess. The eyes of the world would be on her.
She instinctively covered her inner wrist where she’d had the tattoo done.
So far she’d manaaged to keep it hidden from view.
But Ares had been right, someone would inevitably notice it and her twin sister would no longer belong just to her.
Pierre was saying now, ‘We feel that the ball would be a good opportunity to also invite any possible future consorts…so if you should find someone suitable among the new suggestions, let me know and we’ll invite them.’
Cassie’s insides roiled nauseously at the thought of even looking at another man. She swallowed it down. She was a queen. She didn’t get to have much of a choice in this matter. ‘Fine, thank you, Pierre.’
When Pierre had left, Cassie put Zoe down on the floor and opened up the folder. This was her life now, she had to suck it up.
Much to her dismay, when she looked at the candidates there were at least three who she couldn’t find any reason not to consider.
One of these men might one day soon become her husband.
She battled the resurgence of the nausea and picked up the phone, saying to Pierre, ‘I have the names of three of the candidates. Are you ready?’
Pierre tripped over his words, he was so obviously ecstatic. ‘Yes, yes, please, Your Highness, I’m ready.’
She rattled off the names and put the phone down. There. Her fate was now all but sealed. Within two weeks she’d be Queen of Sadat and there would be a marriage announcement.
As much as Cassie was genuinely looking forward to taking her place among the kings and queens of Sadat on her coronation day, she felt acutely lonely at the thought of doing it alone.
Even though Caius would be there, at least. The public appeared to be ready to forgive his lack of royal bloodline. And he would know what she was going through.
But the one person who she would really want to see there wouldn’t be anywhere near Sadat. Ares. She hated him all over again in that moment for making her fall for him. For making her wish for his solid presence. For his beautiful body. The way he made her feel. The way he saw her.
But of course she didn’t hate him at all. She loved him. The bastard.