Chapter Twelve #3
“I’m not going anywhere, Sam,” Alessandro said, kissing her with such reverent tenderness that she wanted to burrow into him.
His hands traced the seam of her top, careful to not touch the bruise on her hip.
“I know that you have all these plans for your new colorful life, like college and raves and… I just ask that you let me be a part of your life. Even if all you can give me are weekends and—”
“So you want to be my weekend boyfriend? Am I allowed to date other men during weekdays?”
“I was hoping you’d agree to the exclusive thing again,” he said oh so politely, as if his gray eyes weren’t full of a stormy bleakness. “All I want is to love you, Sameera. To show you how much you mean to me.”
“I…but you love Violetta. I can’t—won’t share you with anyone, Alessandro. Not even the past.”
He didn’t mock her or talk down to her. A harsh sigh left him.
“I understand the feeling. Every time you mention Matteo with that affection, I want to break his pretty face.” He shook his head.
“A part of me will always love Violetta, sì. But that’s a tiny part, Sam.
Until you made me talk about her, it wasn’t even her I remembered.
It was the pain, the loss and the powerlessness of losing her.
She became nothing but a reason I used to shut myself off. You…”
His breath rattled and his voice broke, and it was long moments before he spoke again.
“You are laughter and joy and pleasure and fragility and innocence and stubbornness and fear and… I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, kissing you, laughing with you, playing chess with you, fighting with you…” He rubbed at her top where the scar lay, and Sam knew he wasn’t even aware of it.
That it had taken him everything to fight the fear of losing her.
“That I feel this much for you, it scares me. The what-ifs that go around in my head… But I won’t be a coward anymore.
I won’t deny myself this chance with you.
Not a day, not a moment. This happiness…
it’s a choice I’m making, even though it terrifies me, Sam. ”
“You do know that I can’t have children, right? And that my life will—”
His hand covered her mouth. “I was a shadow, living a half life until you blazed into it, filled it with colors and emotions again. All I want is a future with you, whatever its shape, tesoro. Please, don’t doubt my faith in this, in us.”
Sam grabbed his hand and pressed a kiss to the center of his palm. “I’ve been hurting all over,” she said, wanting to bask in their closeness, “so make me feel better, Alessandro. Give me all of you,” she demanded, pushing up on elbows to press her mouth to his.
He didn’t need to be asked again. Whispering her name as if it were a benediction, Alessandro kissed her with such tenderness that Sam felt like her heart was coming back to life again. Her bed was tiny for his frame, but she loved that because it gave him no room to move away from her.
He trailed kisses down her cheek to her neck, and before she knew it, her top was gone and his lips left blistering warmth all over her breasts and her midriff.
There was no inch of her that he didn’t touch or kiss or nip.
And yet all of that frenzy calmed down in a matter of breaths as his fingers tugged at the seam of her shorts.
“I hate seeing these bruises on your body,” he said, and then let out a curse.
“Don’t be mad, Sam.” Slowly, softly, he kissed the perimeter of the blue-green bruise.
“I told myself I would not stifle you or suffocate you or make you think you’re incapable.
I just… The thought of you in pain or anything happening to you… turns me inside out.”
Sam buried her fingers in his hair and tugged until he looked up at her. The naked love in his eyes made her hiccup like a child, as if he were a fantasy that might disappear the moment she opened her eyes. “It’s okay. I want to know these things you feel. And you’re already doing better.”
And then she was naked, and he was kissing her all over, his fingers pulling and tugging, and she was like those piano keys he played so deftly. One more breath and she’d fall away and…
“My parents,” Sam exclaimed and then giggled. She cast a look around the room and groaned. “Every little sound carries down from this room. I don’t think I can ever face them again.”
Alessandro nipped at her right hip, hard enough to leave a small mark on her skin. “Will you listen to me next time when I say we need privacy?”
“Sì. Absolutely.”
He grinned and buried his mouth in her inner thigh. Another nip at the silky flesh, revving her up all over again. “Didn’t you hear them? Their car left a while ago.”
“What?”
Alessandro rubbed her lower lip as if he couldn’t stop touching her.
“I spoke to your dad earlier when your mom took a nap. I wasn’t sure if you’d…
” He flicked her nose. “I wanted you all to myself tonight. I told him there’s a room in their name at the Four Seasons in case he wanted to take your mom out for the night, and in case you refused to come to the hotel with me.
I wanted all bases covered to have you to myself. ”
Sam bit her lower lip, but the smile broke through anyway. “I’m not going to encourage you going behind my back and conspiring with my parents of all people…but in this case, I excuse you. I guess my dad likes you.”
Alessandro grinned. “And he knows you better than your mom does.” That wide, wonky smile winked at her. The change in him—the sheer happiness in his expression was like a balm to her heart. She did want his words, but nothing spoke more eloquently than his gray eyes.
“Although, I’d prefer to not talk about him right now.”
In reply, Sam snuck her hands in between them until she could wrap her palm around his erection.
“Come inside me, please,” she said, cheeks heating at the length and feel of him.
Her core clenched, greedy and damp. “I won’t break, Alessandro, not because of a couple of bruises and a broken foot.
And that’s the only way this relationship will work. ”
He opened his mouth, shook his head and then closed it. She laughed.
Between kisses and laughter, somehow, they managed to push his pants down, and then he was notched at her entrance. Then there was no reason for words.
He thrust into her, slowly, softly, stretching her impossibly wide, whispering so many words she didn’t understand into her skin. And when he was lodged all the way in, he told her how she felt, how he’d been thinking of this moment, how he’d never stop wanting her.
Sex with him had always been a study in vulnerability and boundaries and falling off the edge when those boundaries were crossed. But this time, it was different. Their hands clasped, their eyes holding each other, joy suffused every movement, every word.
The blasted man took his own sweet time.
And when Sam begged him to let her come, he tilted their angle and went deeper and faster, and she unraveled.
Even their climaxes felt different, felt so much more than simple release.
When he’d have pulled away, Sam held him, loving the weight of him on her and said the words she knew he wanted to hear.
“I love you, Alessandro. You make me want to take risks, you make me come alive, and you…”
He took over and kissed her and whispered more words in Italian, and Sam knew she had found her grand adventure and her resting place all in one man.
It was dark in the room when Sam woke.
She turned to find Alessandro leaning his head on his elbow, studying her, his fingers drawing lazy circles over her belly. She flushed as she realized he’d not only cleaned her up but dressed her back in her shorts. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“I like looking after you.” He grinned, something wicked and naughty flaring in his eyes. “Plus, I know how much you dislike being all sticky.”
She flushed, heat rushing to her cheeks.
“I love when you get that expression in your eyes, tesoro. Reminds me there’s so much more we still have to do with each other. To each other.”
Moving onto her side, she faced him. With him around, she needed to get used to feeling warm and gooey and wanted and satisfied. A state of being she liked very much.
She didn’t miss the thoughtful look in his eyes or the tension that drew his upper lip into that taut line before he covered it up with a grin. And Sam had a niggle what had put that look in his eyes.
She ran her hand over his chest, adoring the feeling of his skin stretched taut over lean muscles. He was hers. It was going to take time to get used to it. He was also a man who felt deeply, a man who suppressed every need and desire he felt first.
Sam wanted to be what he needed. Give what he wouldn’t demand. “If I ask you something, will you give me an honest answer?” she said, unable to hide the gravity in her voice.
His gaze flicked to hers. “Ask me.”
“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you moving to California. Because I can’t leave Mom and Dad right now. I want to be here when the baby comes. But after…when things have settled down, we can go back to Italy, if you want. I know you’re leaving at a hard time for your family too.”
“I made these plans before I knew about the baby or your accident, Sam. I want to be where you are.”
She nodded, her heart bursting to full. She pressed her mouth to his chest, the thundering din of his heart soothing her. “Will you tell me what is truly in your heart? What do you want from this?”
He gathered her to him and buried his face in her hair.
Hiding the vulnerability he felt, she knew.
When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “I promised myself that I won’t railroad you.
That I’ll let you choose the shape of our future.
You have all these dreams and plans, and I don’t want to take over your life and…
your mom’s complaint that I’m too old for you… it’s not unfair.”
“Not the answer to my question.”
He looked at her, and those gray eyes captivated her. And that she had the power to grant all the wants in them was a trip of its own.
“I would marry you tomorrow. I would wrap you in Bubble Wrap and steal you away to my bedroom. I would…”
A soft gasp escaped her. He pressed a hand to his eyes, and shook his head. “I knew it was a bad idea.”
“No. Listen, Alessandro. I… What about one out of the two?”
His head jerked up. “What?”
“The first one…the marrying part.”
“But you want to go to college and—”
“And I can’t if we marry?” Sam clasped his jaw and willed him to believe her.
“Before I met you… I wanted what I thought was a normal life. College and parties and raves and dating…all the stuff I missed out on. But I hate parties, and the whole idea of dating terrifies me, and I wouldn’t touch anything at a rave.
I think men in their twenties are mostly immature.
” She clasped his cheeks, her heart overflowing with love.
“Everything fades into gray scale when I think of my life without you. You’re my grand adventure.
My excitement. The one man who sees me…all of me.
College and painting and building my own business…
I can still do all of them with you in my life, sì?
We will just fight as husband and wife instead. ”
He laughed, kissed her, swirling his tongue against hers with a possessive urgency. “Then, marry me tomorrow. Be my wife. Give me all of you.”
Sam burrowed into him, her mouth at the hollow of his throat, her heart running away. “You have all of me, Alessandro. And yes, I’ll marry you. As soon as you can arrange it.”
Sam cried again, and Alessandro gathered her to him, and they fell asleep like that, all tangled in each other, waiting for the new dawn that would tie them together forever.