Chapter Seven #3
‘I stole some cash on my way out,’ she admitted.
She was filled with shame about that, but she’d had no choice.
She’d had a couple of bad nights. Doors slammed in her face because her family had spread the word not to welcome her.
Their rejection had been so cruel, so complete.
‘I was so at a loss, in the end I got on a bus and went to the track. I’d never been before.
I just used to watch it on screen, you know?
But it had always been the dream to get there.
I hung around and asked for odd jobs every day until Derek gave me a chance.
When he saw what I could do, he helped me find an apprenticeship at a local garage.
I worked the junior karting leagues after hours and on the weekends. ’
She’d worked every hour she could, made connections in the field. She was proud of her efforts and immeasurably grateful to the old guy for supporting her.
Massimo’s frown had deepened. ‘Your parents didn’t want to lose another son, so they threw away their daughter.’
She flinched. He was right, but to hear it put so succinctly was like a punch.
‘I’m sorry—’ He broke off and swore. ‘But your brother, parents, friends, home, school, you lost everything. I’m sorry your brother died. I get they were grieving, but they shouldn’t have done that to you—’
‘But they did and I’m better off without them in my life.’
‘You’re not in touch with them at all?’ he asked. ‘Your brother?’
‘I’ve sent care packages to him but had no reply.’
‘Lily…’
A hard lump formed in her throat and she couldn’t look up.
She didn’t want to allow his anger to soothe her.
She didn’t want to revisit the wounds that she’d worked hard to hide, but were still raw.
She hadn’t told him to get his sympathy.
He simply needed to understand why he had to keep his distance.
‘They think I’m disloyal and when they find out about you, they’ll strike.
They’ll ask for things.’ They were greedy and entitled in a different way to him, in a worse way.
‘They’ll damage you, Massimo. They’ll cause gossip and scandal and—’
‘You don’t need to worry about me. I can handle them.’ He put his hand over hers. ‘You don’t want everything in your life exposed. It still hurts.’
Of course it still hurt.
‘Rejection always hurts,’ she said roughly. ‘Especially when it’s people who are supposed to love you.’
The pain of their rejection—that absolute ostracism—wasn’t something she’d ever allow to happen to her again.
‘But I’m okay.’ She didn’t want him pitying her. ‘And I had support. Derek and Jean were incredible. They let me live in the caravan at the edge of their property the whole time I was an apprentice. I—’
‘A caravan?’ he interrupted, incredulous. ‘Not their house?’
‘I didn’t want that,’ she said stiffly.
He had no right to judge them; that had been her choice. She was never going to invade the older couple’s space. They’d been more than generous enough to her.
‘I needed my independence and the caravan was wonderful,’ she said defensively. ‘It’s cosy and safe and I can heat it in minutes. I have everything I need in the one room.’
‘You still live there?’ His incredulity didn’t lessen.
‘While I’m in the travelling crew. I like going back there. They don’t charge me nearly enough rent. I still owe them.’
She’d never wanted to overstep—she’d needed help but tried to take as little as possible and paid back in volunteer hours at the track.
‘I’ll take care of it,’ he said.
‘No, it’s my debt,’ she said huskily. ‘I wouldn’t have told you if I’d thought you’d do that. That’s not what I want—’
‘But it’s what can happen.’ His nostrils flared. ‘What should happen.’
‘Because you’ve gotten me pregnant?’ She shook her head.
He didn’t need to assume entire responsibility for her life’s failures.
She didn’t need rescuing and she didn’t want to cause him more problems than he’d ever intended to take on.
‘You’re missing the point. We can’t marry. You can’t have in-laws who—’
‘Sound like they’re not going to impact on us, given they have nothing to do with you,’ he interrupted bluntly.
She winced. ‘But they’ll try. And people will find out.
They’ll probably try to sell secrets they don’t even know.
And all your precious sponsors, all those brand collaborations with the drivers.
No one will trust you if you’re with me.
They’re small time but they’re still scandalous. They’ll tarnish your reputation.’
‘Wealthy people can weather all kinds of controversies. We get away with almost anything,’ he said quietly. ‘A few criminal elements is nothing. Every family has them. Half the wealthy are dodgy, you know.’
‘Not like this.’ She shook her head. ‘You care too much about your company to let any connection with me wreck it.’
He smiled. ‘If you’re that worried, we’ll get the social media team to soft launch us. It’ll be fine.’
Soft launch? ‘You mean we’ll be a PR strategy?’ She was utterly offended. ‘So I’m like a product? Do I need personal branding? I’m not going to be a commodity you’re going to sell to the public.’
Would the baby be another product eventually?
So. Not. Fine.
‘Maybe our marriage will attract attention, but many aspects of my life are kept completely private. Ultimately, our relationship will be as well,’ he said.
‘Suitability isn’t a reason to say no. You’re just trying to find excuses because you’re scared and I get that.
This is unexpected and overwhelming but you can trust me. ’
She stared at him, speechless. She couldn’t. She couldn’t count on anyone other than herself. And how could he not see how completely wrong of a fit she would be in his life?
‘We should watch the race.’ She pushed away from the table, drawn towards the windows.
The sky had darkened; now those buildings were even more spectacular and she could see the extra bright lights of the track.
Far below them the water moved gently in a dark, sultry celebration. It was truly beautiful.
‘Emiliano is on pole,’ she said. ‘He might make his first podium.’
‘I’ll find out later—’
‘He’s your cousin.’
‘You’re my future wife.’
‘Don’t, Massimo.’
His whispered promise of priority hit her weakest spot. But independence was her absolute bedrock and she couldn’t concede it. Even when he looked at her like this—so intense, so hot.
‘Lily.’ He moved to stand right in front of her. His breathing was ragged and his hands were flexed into fists the same way hers were. ‘Do you think we could pause the argument for a while? Neither of us are at our best.’
She could laugh and cry at the same time. ‘Are you not?’
Because he looked it to her.
‘I’m hopelessly distracted,’ he confessed.
‘By the race?’
‘Not the race, no.’
He was close enough for her to sense his heat, for her to be unable to see anything beyond his taut, muscled body.
His blue eyes burned into her. ‘Do I still have the access-all-areas pass you so generously flung at me the other night?’
Her blood fizzed, smothering every concern in an instant.
‘We have an issue between us, Lily, and I don’t mean the baby.’
No, he meant this inexorable pull, stronger than gravity, as undeniable as the need to breathe. ‘Do you think we should deal with the issue and then discuss the serious matters?’
‘Exactly.’
She should be sensible. She should stop and think. But she didn’t. Instead, she flung herself over the edge. ‘Yes.’
But he didn’t sweep her into his arms, didn’t kiss her with the intense, furious abandon of yesterday. No, now he was slow and deliberate and so very vexing.
‘Massimo…’
His hands were light, gentle, slow, carefully sliding the thin straps from her shoulders. With the curtains open, the room received enough light from that vibrant neon skyline—more than enough for her to see his expression, and that was more than enough to keep her still. To savour this.
‘I’ve dreamed of seeing you,’ he muttered. ‘Finally, I get to see all of you.’
The dress pooled at her feet and he stared. ‘You’re stunning.’ He looked in her eyes and smiled. ‘You don’t believe me?’ He moved faster to shed his own clothes, unashamedly stepping out of his trousers. ‘Look at what you do to me.’
Oh she was looking. She was inhaling his long limbs, the strong muscles. Her mouth dried. Finally naked and he was everything. Drop-dead gorgeous. She began to shake.
In a flurry of movement so fast it was a blur, they both stepped forward.
In less than a blink they were together.
It was frantic. She didn’t just say yes, she surrendered completely.
They were both unleashed, all control gone and thus in an instant it was impossibly intimate.
Instinct—touch and taste—was everything.
She was kindling, a roaring fire in seconds and unable to be contained.
He tried. He lifted her and carried her to the bed, not bothering with curtains nor light, just letting that skyline illuminate her skin.
There was nowhere to hide but she was too hot to feel self-conscious, too lost to this indulgence, too joyous in her exploration of him.
‘Breathe.’ He kissed down her body, tearing her underwear in his frantic haste. ‘Breathe.’
She’d not realised she wasn’t and she didn’t care anyway; she just needed to touch him.
‘Slow down,’ he muttered as she rose above him. ‘Slow down.’
‘I can’t.’ She needed to be with him. It couldn’t happen fast enough.
‘We have all night,’ he half laughed.
And that wasn’t going to be long enough.
She arched, grinding against him until he flipped and pinned her.
She moaned as he grazed his teeth along her inner thigh before fastening his mouth on her, his tongue rasping in rough but gentle strokes.
Her bones liquefied. Her very soul melted.
She’d missed this so much and she desperately wanted more.
Never had she wanted anything as much as she wanted this. ‘Please!’
But the orgasm screamed through her before she could stop it.
His triumphant laugh was further erotic torment as it gusted over her lower belly. As soon as she could, she arched beneath him. This was no dance, but a battle. With a groan he braced above her, staring into her eyes for ever so slightly too long.
‘Massimo,’ she whispered. She pleaded.
He gave in, thrusting hard and deep, pushing all his strength into her. She gasped, relishing his complete claim.
‘Yes.’ She bucked up to meet him.
‘I like hearing that word on your lips,’ he growled, flexing harder into her.
‘You’ll only get it here. Doing this.’
His smile was feral, his body fast. Another orgasm hurtled upon her.
Too much. Too soon. All too soon. She closed her eyes and wrapped her limbs tightly around him, trying to hang on as long and as hard as she could, but all too soon she was lost over the edge.
And to her infinite satisfaction, he tumbled with her.
She couldn’t open her eyes, but in the distance she heard the booms and sparks from the end of race celebrations across the bay.
‘I think we missed the fireworks,’ she murmured brokenly.
‘You’re the fireworks,’ he chuckled. ‘I need a flameproof suit but it’s worth being burned by you.’
Indeed, she was burning up. He’d worked her over—ruthlessly, relentlessly, generously. But she was greedy for his intensity, his determination, his strength. He had more of those things than anyone she’d ever met. More than she had.
‘There’s one thing you need to understand, Lily.’ He moved, using his body to cage her beneath him.
‘Mmm?’
‘I’m not the cherry on top. I’m the whole damn cake. And the only one you’re enjoying for the foreseeable future. Understood?’