Prologue
The first thing I become aware of is…the smell.
Fresh pine. Damp fabric and something sweet.
Lilies.
The scent clings to the back of my throat until I taste it.
I try to swallow.
Nothing.
My tongue feels thick and heavy.
My eyelids flutter into darkness. Not the darkness of a room after someone switches off the light. This darkness presses against me. It breathes with me.
My heart lurches.
Something is touching my forehead.
Wood.
I don’t understand.
My thoughts stumble over one another, sluggish and tangled, as though they’ve been stitched together wrong.
Where am I?
I try to lift my hand.
Nothing.
My fingers don’t answer. My arms don’t answer. My legs…nothing.
Panic ignites so violently my pulse pounds inside my ears.
Move. Fucking move!
My body refuses. Every command I send disappears into silence. I can’t even open my mouth. My jaw won’t obey me. I can breathe. Barely. Each breath feels shallow, recycled, stale. The space around me is impossibly small. Too small.
No…no.
My heart begins hammering harder.
Wood.
Above me. Beside me. Beneath me. Every direction.
A memory flashes.
Black suits. Rain. A white flower. Then it’s gone.
Voices drift through the wood. Muffled and far away.
At first I can’t make out the words only sounds.
Someone is crying. A child sniffles. Shoes scraping gravel. The low murmur of people speaking in hushed voices.
Then…“…taken far too soon.”
The words cut through me.
Another voice.
Deep and measured. “…may she finally rest in peace.”
No.
My stomach twists.
No. No. Please. Please, no. I’m here. I’m alive.
I try to scream.
Nothing. Not even a whisper.
My chest convulses with the effort as nothing leaves my lips. Tears gather in the corners of my eyes but have nowhere to go. I’m trapped inside my own body.
The voices continue.
Someone sobs.
A prayer. A hymn I recognize but can’t name.
Time loses meaning. Minutes. Hours. An eternity.
I count my heartbeats until I lose count.
Then…movement.
The box beneath me shifts. Leather creaks and men grunt with exertion.
Oh God. No. No, no, no…
I’m being carried.
Every step rocks my body.
I slide ever so slightly against satin beneath me.
I know exactly where I am. A coffin. I’m inside a coffin.
Alive.
The movement stops.
Silence.
Then…a dull thud.
Another.
And another as something strikes the lid above me.
Loose, heavy—dirt.
The sound is unmistakable.
My heart stops.
They aren’t lowering me into the ground. They’re burying me.
Alive.
The impacts become steady.
Thump. Thump. Thump. Each shovelful muffles the world a little more.
The crying disappears. The voices fade. The hymn vanishes. Until…nothing.
Only my breathing, my heartbeat and the crushing weight of the earth above me. Then darkness swallows everything.
…
I don’t know how much time passes.
Maybe minutes. Maybe hours. The drugs holding my body hostage begin to loosen their grip.
My index finger twitches and I freeze.
Did I imagine it?
I force every ounce of myself into that one finger.
It moves.
A sob tears silently through my chest.
Another finger.
Then my wrist.
Pain explodes through every muscle as feeling rushes back all at once. Pins and needles stab my arms. My legs cramp so violently I bite my tongue. I don’t care. I can move.
I claw at the lid above me. My fingernails scrape polished wood. I pound with both fists until pain splits through my knuckles.
Nothing.
I scream. Only a ragged croak escapes.
Air. I need air.
My breathing becomes frantic. Too fast. Too shallow.
I force myself to stop.
Think. Fucking think.
My hands search the interior. Smooth wood. Soft lining.
Nothing. No latch. No handle.
My bladder gives out without warning and warmth spreads beneath me as humiliation crashes over me for half a second before survival devours it whole.
I don’t care. I just want out.
I slam both feet against the lid. Again and again and again.
A crack.
I hear it so I hit it harder and the wood splinters.
A shower of dirt pours through the opening onto my face.
I cough and spit mud.
I need to dig.
My fingers become claws as I tear at the soil with bleeding hands. Every inch I pull down caves in again but I refuse to stop.
My lungs burn. My vision blurs.
Then…the cold night air kisses my face.
I shove upward with everything I have left and the earth gives way.
I burst through the surface, gasping so violently I nearly choke.
I crawl from the grave on trembling hands and knees before collapsing beside the mound of dirt. I look up at the sky trying to catch my breath. The stars. They’re beautiful. I never knew stars could be so beautiful.
I laugh. The sound bleeds into a sob.
I’m alive. I’m…
A twig snaps and every muscle locks.
Slowly…I turn my head.
The cemetery stretches in every direction. Rows of weathered headstones glow beneath the moonlight. Beyond them…the woods.
Dark and silent.
Another snap.
Closer.
Then laughter.
Low. Amused. Patient.
It drifts between the trees like smoke.
“Well…” A man’s voice says smoothly. “…that took longer than I expected.”
Ice floods my veins.
I stagger to my feet and run. My bare feet slam against frozen earth as branches whip my face and roots claw at my ankles.
My lungs scream but I don’t stop.
The laughter follows. Not hurried. Not strained.
He’s walking. He doesn’t need to run. He already knows I’m not getting away. “My little bird…” His voice comes from somewhere to my left. “So eager to fly.”
I change direction and the woods swallow me whole.
Another laugh. Closer now.
“You should have stayed where I left you.”
Something crashes through the brush behind me and I stumble as my foot catches a root.
The ground rushes up and knocks the wind out of me. But before I can crawl away a gloved hand closes around my ankle.
I scream as strong hands drag me backward through leaves and dirt.
I kick, scratch and bite but it doesn’t matter he just continues laughing.
Then he stops abruptly and rolls me onto my back.
Moonlight spills across an ivory porcelain mask.
Smooth. Expressionless. Black, empty eyeholes stare into me.
He tilts his head. Almost affectionately. Then he chuckles. “There you are.” He states as he kneels down in between my legs running his hands up my thighs.
“I see you soiled the dress I picked for you. Don’t worry…” he tilts his head. “A little urine doesn’t scare me.” He laughs sinisterly as he tears my panties straight from my body.
I thrash beneath his hold trying to get free but he’s so fucking heavy. I slap at his face trying to rip his mask off and he growls in my face. The sound is something out of a horror movie. Loud. Deep and animalistic. It sends a deep chill in my bones and I shiver.
“Don’t worry Little Bird. I’ll make you sing like you’ve never sung before.
” He groans as he pins my hands above my head and drags his face across my cheek inhaling deeply.
“You smell like you’ve been buried alive.
God I can’t wait to ruin this tight little cunt of yours.
” He grunts, pressing his hard cock against my entrance.
“P-please. Don’t hurt me.” I cry out.
“It’s a little too late for that Little bird.” He states as he takes his hand and lifts his mask up slightly to take a nipple into his mouth then undoes his pants and shoves his hard cock into me.
Tears stream down my face as I scream into the night. But no one answers not even the man above me rutting into me like I’m a rag doll laying here at his mercy.
“Fuck you’re so tight and wet.” He groans, switching to the other nipple.
I stare up at the stars as they begin to spin.
He lets go of my hands and I claw down his arms trying to push him away but he laughs and continues to slam into me over and over again.
“I like it when they fight. Gives me a reason just to fuck you harder.” He grunts.
“Fuck you!” I growl and he laughs then wraps his hand around my neck and squeezes.
“I liked you better when you couldn’t speak. Until we meet again Little Bird.”
Then everything goes black.