Chapter 8
FORD
Living with my mate, but neither of us acknowledging that was what we were wasn’t ideal.
I had no one to blame but myself for the situation.
I was the one who bit my pillow instead of marking my mate.
I was the one who blamed it on dragons doing things differently.
I was the one who changed the subject anytime it hinted at being about us.
We were more housemates than anything else, and I hated it. But hating it and doing what needed to be done to try and move forward were two very different things. I kept waiting for him to tell me I was his, but he didn’t. Thing was, I didn’t do it either. I couldn’t. I let my fear control me.
“It was better to be like this than to have him fully reject me,” was what I told myself every time I started to get brave.
And the longer this went on, the more I believed that would be the outcome.
It got so bad, I even considered calling Jared so I had someone to discuss it with, knowing full well he would not care.
My agreement with Sampson was for one year, nothing more, and that made this even harder.
When I took the job, that had sounded great.
I was going to work by his side and get a system in place where he wouldn’t need me anymore, effectively working myself out of a job.
During that time, I’d save as much money as I could and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Now? Now that timeline loomed over me.
Zack and I had fallen into a routine. Every morning I got up before Zack and started my day. It was unspoken, but we hadn't veered from it. Maybe I should try and wake up later from now on.
It was still dark this morning. My dragon had kept me up most of the night being a butt, and I began my day flying over the house, trying to get him to chill.
Looking down at the cabin I now called home brought up a complicated mixture of emotions.
On one hand, it felt like home, where I belonged.
On the other, it was like I was an unwelcome guest whose time was ticking away and where I couldn’t truly be myself because if I said too much, I could lose everything.
My dragon was continually pissed at me for not marking our mate and wouldn’t stop pushing for me to.
I kept reminding him it wasn’t our decision, and besides, we wouldn’t be here for long.
He hated it even more. I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to hold him back, and if it got to the point he was uncontrollable, I wasn’t sure what the next steps would be.
The sun began to crest over the horizon, and it was time to go back inside and take my shower. I had work today, and Zack was going to help out his birth den.
Unlike me, Zack had a den, whereas I’d pretty much cut off my flight completely.
He didn’t live there, but he had a connection to them while having his own space.
I wondered how that worked and how that felt, but never asked.
It felt too personal. Days like this reminded me that his den tethered him to this place, adding another check in the column of why it was good I hadn’t marked him that day.
My dragon disagreed. In his eyes, our mate was our mate, and everything else would fall into place if we had just been dragon enough to mark him already.
My dragon was sure that my mate’s polar bear felt the same.
But if that was true, wouldn’t he have marked me too? Wouldn’t Zack have called me his?
I drove into town extra early, breaking the routine we’d started.
I didn’t care. I needed to get out of there, to get busy and out of my own head.
I met up with Sampson who was always there early.
He lived and breathed the store, which was a big part of the reason why it was so successful and also the reason why he needed me.
The morning went by quickly. Between customers, I showed him one of the new systems I was working on. In barely a blink, it was time for me to break for lunch. My thoughts drifted right back to Zack, wishing he were there with me, eating a ham sandwich behind the store.
I pictured him smiling at me for putting the extra cucumbers on the sandwich the way he liked. Then, my mind wandered back to the time he first saw my beast—the awe and wonder in his eyes, and then to the softness of his gaze as we fell asleep together that first time.
“I thought you might want this.”
I looked up to see Sampson holding an iced tea.
“Oh, yeah, thanks.”
“Most people wouldn’t eat out here on a day like today.”
Which was part of the reason I was. I wasn’t in the mood for small talk with strangers by grabbing a bite next door, and eating alone in the break room would result in me working the entire time despite Sampson’s rule about breaks being mandatory and valuable.
“My beast loves fresh air, and I don’t mind the temperature.”
“Why don’t you come inside? We can eat together, because I would love the company and will not be dining out here.”
I went back in with him. I doubted it was about him needing company as much as him thinking it was best for me to be inside.
He was great that way. I liked Sampson. He was my boss, sure, but he was also much closer to a friend than even Jared had ever been.
He listened. He also shared, and not once did I feel like he considered me less than him, despite the fact that he was in charge of me.
“How you settling in here?” he asked. “It’s a lot quieter than where you come from.”
“Yeah, it really is, but I kind of like that. Although I do miss good pizza.”
“Yeah, you’re not gonna get that here, but you get fresh air and slow days.” He’d plated up two pieces of pie and put one in front of me. “And great pie.”
“The best.” It was one of the best perks of the job. Sampson always had pie.
We chatted throughout the rest of lunch, and I loved how he wasn’t being invasive or trying to lure me into the “real reason” he wanted to talk.
I’d experienced enough of that back in my flight.
The first few times we had conversations like this, I wasn’t sure how to react.
I wasn’t used to it. People didn’t check on me like this. They didn’t just chit-chat.
It was nice spending time together like this, and I trusted him.
I told him about my concerns of how high to fly and about how I was missing some of my favorite cafes.
What I definitely didn’t do was tell him that I was secretly living with my mate while pretending that everything was normal, but there were a few times I almost did.
We got a ring from up front, the part-time person tapping the bell to let us know they needed more help.
“Stay, finish your lunch. I’ve got this.”
“Nah, I was done anyway.” I tossed the last bit of my sandwich and came out with him. There was a small line, nothing too much for one person to handle, but that wasn’t why he’d been called. An omega standing there about my age was waiting for Sampson.
“Liam! What are you doing here?” Sampson went over and gave him a pat on the back. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“Yeah, I went to help my grandparents move south and ended up staying six months. Not gonna lie, the sun was nice.”
“I imagine it is. Hey, you should meet our new employee, Ford. This is Liam. Liam, this is Ford.”
The two of us instantly got along. Liam was human and was born and raised in the town.
Helping his elderly grandparents move had been his first time away, and I loved hearing the enthusiasm he had for their new home despite it being far too hot for me to ever consider.
He asked me if I’d been to different places and told me things that I would enjoy here.
The conversation flowed easily, and before I knew it, I’d skipped out on fifteen minutes of work and told him I needed to go.
“Hey, give me your number, and next time I get some guys together for darts, maybe you can come.”
“I love the sound of that,” I said, and quickly handed it over. There were so many things I loved about this town, but maybe I shouldn’t have been making bonds. Not while my life was so up in the air.
I went back to work to finish my day, but my dragon kept pushing me to go home. He hated that I told Zack I wanted to take it slow, that I hid behind that lie out of fear. I denied my beast’s commands every time, but the more I did, the more he pushed.
Over the course of the afternoon, I finished the first phase of transferring over the bookkeeping to the new system.
There was still a lot to go, but the work was less intense than I thought it’d be when I signed on.
At this rate, I was going to be done before my contract ended.
And then what? Would there be another job for me here? Would Zack even want me to stay?
“Hey, before you leave.” Sampson handed me an envelope. “It’s payday. If you don’t have a local bank set up yet, you can cash it here.”
I couldn’t believe he was still doing paper checks, but then again, he had me here to try to fix all this. “Yeah, I think that’ll be good for now.”
The pay wasn’t much. I’d only worked a few days in the pay period.
But for the first time since I arrived, I had some money I could spend.
On the way home, I felt the urge to do something nice for Zack.
He’s done so much for me, and it felt only right.
Sure, in the beginning, he very much didn’t want to do anything for me but get me to leave, but that had changed.
He’d given me a place to stay and has been sharing his life with me.
Instead of driving home, I wandered the aisles and grabbed some ingredients, planning to make him a special dinner. That would be nice, right? We’d been taking turns on who cooked, but it had always been with what he had provided. This felt a little better.
Once home, I walked inside, set the bag of groceries on the counter, and started to cook. Zack was helping the den today and he was going to be tired. This meal thank you. Nothing more.
Except it was already feeling like everything more.