Chapter Seventeen #2
“Admit it,” I hissed, leaning forward so we were closer. “Fucking admit it, Drayven.”
“Your kiss never hurt me!” he roared, slamming his fist into the couch beside me as his words settled like rocks hitting the bottom of a well in my chest. Hollow and empty.
I blinked away my tears, feeling a cold chill roll over me as I asked, “Why?”
“I told you. Because you’re mine,” he whispered, his voice strained and his eyes pleading for me to understand. “There was only one way to ensure everyone would leave you alone.”
“You made me a pariah in my own home.”
“It didn't start like that.” He sat back on his heels, “Before I even really started spending time with you, I was told that you would be considered the enemy…the thing between me and the throne. The council for the House of Death was grooming me to take over your father’s position so that there was a different option available rather than you.”
His words were cold and almost robotic. I knew it. I knew it, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “I was young, and I ate up what they told me…and then I met you.”
“And?”
“I had never met someone so fucking perfect in my life.” His words were angry—almost hateful—despite what he was saying, “I was filled with so much anger and confusion. I felt betrayed by what I’d been told, but I still felt loyalty to the council.
So, I did something to both distance you from the throne and make sure no one else touched you… touched what was mine.”
“You made me an outcast.” A weird numbness settled over me, and I felt like I was having some sort of odd, out of body experience.
“Yes.” His words were whispered as he looked at my shoulder, shame evident in his face.
I felt so much in that moment. Anger, betrayal, sympathy, affection, heartbreak…all of it slammed into me in a confusing mix that had my head pounding. I pressed my hand to his chest, but he refused to move, his hands tightening on the fabric on either side of me.
“Ama, please—”
“Leave.” My words were cold and hard. Unwavering.
“No.” His temper flared again, “Absolutely not.”
“I wasn’t giving you an option,” I hissed, pushing against him with enough force that it surprised him, and he jerked back. I escaped his hold and ran towards my bedroom door. My bedroom. Not fucking his, and most definitely not ours anymore.
“You have to understand—”
I spun around, “I don’t have to understand shit, Dray. Get the hell out of here. I don’t care where you sleep, but it is not going to be here.”
I slammed the bedroom doors closed, locking them and leaning against them, head back as I let out a quiet sob before collapsing onto the bed.
This was so messed up. I shoved my head under the pillow, hoping like hell that tomorrow would bring more…
more of something. I couldn’t hope for anything more than “something” right now.
I fell asleep feeling more betrayed than ever before in my life.
Iwas woken by a crash from the other room and a grunt of pain.
I blinked my heavy eyes, stinging from crying myself to sleep, as I slid to the edge of the bed.
Looking down, I considered changing out of Drayven’s shirt that I had grabbed and put on when I’d woken up still in my clothes an hour after falling asleep, but it was super comfortable, and frankly…
fuck him. When a body slammed against the door, I muttered a curse.
I knew it was Drayven. I knew it, and it made me want to ignore him. What time was it even? I squinted at the clock, realizing it was nearly three in the morning.
With my emotions cooled, I still felt pain radiating through me, but now it was paired with concern that he’d done something stupid tonight. Drayven wasn’t usually very reactionary, but his emotions earlier had been lethal and toxic.
“Ama...” His voice was filled with emotion that I’d never heard from him before. A sick curiosity had me pressing my hand against the locked door.
“What, Dray?” I asked softly, feeling emotionally and physically drained.
I heard him lean into the door, the surface groaning under the weight of his massive frame. “Please let me in. I don’t want to sleep out here without you.”
Oh, devil. He was drunk. Like drunk as a skunk. I could tell.
I inhaled sharply, “It shouldn’t be different than usual—it's not like we ever sleep together.”
“Not by my choice,” he seemed to grumble to himself. “Please, Ama? I don’t want to be apart from you. Not after today. I feel like I’m going to lose you.”
“You never had me,” I snapped, and he let out a low, frustrated growl.
“That’s not true,” he ground out. “You were always mine. Which is why I went to beat the shit out of Adrien. No one else should ever kiss you—”
I swung the door open and found his massive form crumpled against the door frame, falling forward slightly as he stumbled. The smell of whiskey surrounded us as I looked up at him, my arms crossed over my chest while I examined the frustrating bastard.
“You’re in my shirt.” He smiled, a goofy, almost boyish grin, “Fuck, Ama, you look so good in my clothes. I want to mark every inch of your—”
I tried closing the door so he wouldn’t see my reaction, but he stopped it and let out a small worried sound, “Fine. Fine. I’ll behave, I promise.”
“You went to beat up Adrien?” I asked softly, concerned for all parties involved. I didn’t want any of them fighting over me. I wasn’t worth that.
“Yeah,” he muttered, stepping closer to me as the moonlight from the main room’s open window showcased dried blood on his face. I cursed and dragged him towards the bathroom, my eyes widening at the number done on his pretty face.
“Adrien did this?” I asked with surprise, dampening a wet rag. I wasn’t going to examine why all of this made me feel…weird. Just weird.
“No.” He barked out a laugh, “Bastard wouldn’t fight me.”
Sadness filled his gaze, “Said I wasn’t worth it.”
Fuck.
“I’m sure he just didn’t want to fight,” I breathed out, still trying to get rid of the blood. “How did you get injured, then?”
“Finias,” he growled. “I was down at the bar—”
“Yes, that much is clear.” I offered him a dry look.
“I’d been drinking for a bit when Adrien and Damien arrived. I figured I would tell Adrien to fuck off and leave you alone because you’re my girl—”
“Which I’m not,” I muttered quietly, but he ignored me.
“He wouldn’t fight me,” he hissed. “And fucking Finias appeared out of nowhere and tried to tell me you’d be upset if I ‘did this’. I tried to tell him he didn’t know you, Ama. I tried to tell him he didn’t understand us.”
“And he hit you?” I knew there had to be moments missing from this timeline.
Drayven’s ears turned pink, “No. That happened after I told him he would never be good enough for you.”
Ah. Damnit.
“Well—” I started but was immediately cut off.
“Then, when we were fighting, the fucking House of Fallen prince came out of nowhere and tried to separate us.” He rolled his eyes, grunting as I touched his nose, which was thankfully not broken.
“I have no idea why they were all there—maybe being a royal means you have to drink at a special time every night or some shit, and I was just misfortunate enough to have chosen the same bar.”
I snorted at that, shaking my head as he offered me that cute smile again. His eyes went serious suddenly as he cupped my face, and my entire body froze.
“I don’t know how to fix this, Ama” His voice was filled with agony.
“I can’t change the past. I don’t know how to fix what I’ve broken.
” That was the true question, wasn’t it?
Had he irreparably broken our relationship—and any potential for the future that might have existed there—with his actions? I honestly didn’t know.
I inhaled and shook my head, “Let’s just get some sleep, Dray. It’s been a really long day.”
His eyes filled with hope, “Can I sleep with you?”
My body lit up at that, despite knowing what he meant. I sighed, “We have to share a bed, don’t we?” And come morning, we would have to talk—about everything.
As I slid into bed, Drayven got in behind me and immediately wrapped his arm around my middle, practically engulfing me. My cheeks heated as he splayed his hands possessively on my skin, and a soft, unintentional sigh of contentment slipped from my lips.
“Goodnight, Ama,” he murmured as his body went heavy, locking me further against him.
I closed my eyes, feeling overwhelmed by so many emotions. I wasn’t ready to deal with any of them. Instead, I let sleep take over and floated in the abyss of unconsciousness. I hoped when I woke up, I would be ready for everything to come.