Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Nico
The hollow feeling in the center of my chest was ever-expanding.
It was reaching every nerve ending and making my limbs feel numb as my head hung slightly, staring into the beer Drayven had all but thrust in front of me—something I would have found amusing if it wasn't for the fact that I was damned near positive the bastard just felt bad for me.
Not that I blamed him. I was a sight for sore eyes, and that was just externally.
Despite having bathed and changed into new clothes, I felt dirty.
I felt like the sins of my parents had finally touched me.
No amount of debauchery or any of the other sins they had committed in their kingdom compared to this level of betrayal.
They weren't even alive for me to blame them, either.
No, instead I had been left to deal with their selfish actions—something that I had no intention of doing.
I didn't give a shit about my kingdom—why would I?
Because it wasn't just about your kingdom.
I knew that, rationally. In fact, I even knew why the situation still mattered to me, and it all boiled down to Ama.
My little hybrid mate who was upstairs, finally wrapped in an ounce of the safety and comfort she deserved, while I was down here in the pub’s bar, considering whether to get plastered or just continue to be a bastard about all of this.
Honestly, part of me wanted to go up there and demand she admit what I could feel between us.
The other part of me was afraid she would reject me.
The gorgeous woman saw through every ounce of my bullshit—straight through the facade to the bare bones—and my biggest fear was that she didn't like what she saw.
So, I continued to try to keep her at a distance.
It wasn't a fight I was ready to give in to.
Couldn't she just enjoy the possible connection we could have physically?
Couldn't she let me blow her mind, one fucking orgasm at a time, instead of creating this atmosphere where I was damned near close to baring my soul to her?
I ran a hand down my face, trying to not think about how furious she’d looked in the moment of betrayal by my parents and Finias'. I tried to not think about how her fear had saturated the air as she’d realized how screwed we’d been.
Honestly, the fact that I hadn't been able to protect my mate burned ten times worse than any injury, or even the loss of my parents.
I would miss them, though.
Sure, they’d been idiots, but they were my family.
My only family. They didn't have to be your only family.
The minute my mind whispered the words into my consciousness, I got pissed.
Who would be my new family? Ama and these other princes?
A hybrid from a kingdom I hadn't even believed existed until recently?
That would never happen...just as Ama would never be mine.
A groan of frustration tore from my throat as thoughts of Ama began to seep into my consciousness, creating a storm of lust mixed with the guilt, anger, and mourning I was already experiencing. This was just too much at once. It was bullshit, and there was only one way to solve it.
I saw Colt offer me a look as I stood, and I flipped him off and trailed across the room, past the bar and up the stairs, hoping they would assume I was going to bed.
I honestly didn't think they cared. Drayven kept looking towards the stairs himself, as if he planned on going to Ama, while Adrien and Damien talked quietly, seeming to be deep in serious conversation.
My lip pulled up into a sneer thinking about how they still smelled like my mate. That infuriated me.
Why did they get to touch her so openly? Why did they get to experience the fucking transcendent moment of Ama coming? Why couldn't I be around her to touch her and feed off her lust as she did the same to me?
I couldn't give her everything, but I could give her pleasure. I might not have had a lot of real-life experience—as in none—but an Incubus and Succubus coming together was always explosive. I just needed to show her that we could be good for one another. That she didn't need these other assholes.
After all, I'd already lost everything else—couldn't I have this one thing to myself?
Couldn't I have my own mate? I frowned at that, hating the idea of referring to her as something to be owned...
but in a way, she made me feel like that.
I wanted to completely own Ama and claim her in front of everyone else, making them see just how amazing I could make her feel.
As I reached the top of the stairs, I turned right, towards Ama's temporary bedroom, and was instantly hit with a wave of Ama's sexual energy.
It wrapped around me seductively. Addictively.
Instantly, I was hard as hell, and I had to stop to steady myself so I didn't barge into her room and bury myself between her thighs, where I knew she would be soaking wet. I swallowed and stepped forward, only to be hit by another punch to the gut, realizing that her magic was intertwined with Finias’.
Motherfucker.
I stood there for a moment, deciding whether I wanted to storm in there and try to kill the assassin bastard or leave them to their moment.
To what and who Ama clearly wanted in her life, which obviously wasn't me.
Anger boiled through me, and I felt the lash of rejection hit me hard, making me step back, my body practically fighting against me in protest. I shook my head and walked back towards and then down the stairs, knowing it was the best thing to do.
If I went in there, I had no idea what I would do.
Despite being uncomfortably hard, I made my way across the empty pub, each step feeling like shit and leaving me feeling drained, yet still turned on.
I slid back into the booth, the others offering me confused looks as I took a long drink of my beer, draining half of it before letting out an exhale, trying to decide where the fuck I could go in a kingdom of hybrids.
I sure as hell didn't want to stay here, and I knew without a doubt that if I had to be by Finias all night after he’d had Ama, I would lose my devildamned mind.
"You good? I thought you were checking out for the night," Adrien asked, the other three men at the table offering me equally confused looks.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I ground out, then offered a sardonic smile, "Everything is fucking fine. Isn't that what you want to hear, Adrien? Since you are so devildamned insistent that we continue on like nothing is the matter—"
"Nico, shut up," Colt groaned, looking exhausted. I wouldn't lie, his dismissal of my words hurt. It shouldn't, but out of everyone there, I felt like Colt understood me the best. Apparently not.
"I am not continuing on like nothing is wrong," Adrien's voice was even, "My parents and sister are in life threatening danger.
I just know I can't help them if I storm in there and get myself killed.
I also know that you acting like this is doing absolutely nothing to help. If anything, it's making it worse."
"He's right," Drayven spoke quietly, "You need to get your shit together."
"Fuck you," I spit out and stood up. Damien called out after me, but I walked towards the bartender and his two friends, all of them offering me dirty looks. Well, not just me—I was almost damned positive they hated Colt more, but they sure as shit didn't like me.
"What do you want?"
Before I could respond or get myself into further trouble, the door to the pub opened, and feminine laughter filled the space.
I eyed the group of three women sitting down at a nearby table, instantly finding them lacking because they weren't Ama.
Deciding a distraction would be better than another drink, I dismissed the men and walked towards the group of women, keeping my gaze on them.
I tried to force my magic out, and it worked to an extent, drawing all their attention as I leaned over the table and offered them a smile, but I could feel the resistance there.
My magic was pissed that I was interacting with someone other than our mate.
Wonderful. Now my own magic was rejecting me.
"Hello, beautiful ladies." I grinned as all of them turned, wide-eyed, and leaned forward. I honestly couldn't tell you anything specific about these women—they all blended together in a hybrid magic mess labeled “distraction”. One that was doomed from the start, for the record.
"Hi," the one closest to me nearly giggled, the other two trying to scooch closer. My magic finally broke under my will and seeped out, surrounding the group. Before I could say anything, though, a hard hand pulled my shoulder back, and I spun around to find a pissed looking Adrien in my space.
"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded, fury written all over his face.
"Distracting myself," I shrugged. "What? If Ama can have multiple fucking partners, why can't I? Why can't we all do the same?"
I knew that was a low blow and unfair deep down, but I couldn’t help but question it right now.
"Because it's not like that, and you know it," Adrien growled. "This is not some open relationship, Nico. She's our mate, and we are hers. What you are about to do is cheating."
My jaw clicked because he was right, and I hated that.
My magic snapped back, and any possible urge for distraction was instead replaced with rage.
I could hear the women behind me talking, and I started to feel sick to my stomach and guilty for even entertaining the notion of talking to other women, let alone anything else.
I turned to look at them, and in my state of dazed grief, all I could see was Ama and her disappointment. Her hurt. To fight off the guilt, I did the only thing that I knew would feel good.
I punched Adrien.