Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ama
We trailed behind the prince of the damned hybrids—who happened to be my mate, and who I also happened to want to punch in the face most of the time—as he showed us to where we'd be staying for the duration of our visit.
This was just great. Nothing was going according to plan.
We needed to get an answer out of his parents, and soon.
I would go along with their dumb celebration, just to ensure I didn't look like an arrogant prick, demanding something from them without showing them the respect they were owed as the leaders of this kingdom.
But my patience was going to burn out soon.
It was hard to hold my tongue when their disdain for my other mates was clear as day, shining through in their mannerisms and tones.
Calm down, Ama. Just get through the ball tonight, and then you will be in a better position to proposition them for an answer.
"Ahh, here we go. This will be your room, Ama," Jace announced, gesturing through two large marble doors that opened into a lavish room fit for a queen.
My mouth dropped as I took in the high, arched ceilings, marble floor, and open balcony that allowed a gentle breeze to sweep through the room.
The entire room was draped in fine silks, from the curtains to the bedding in a mixture of turquoise, gold, and white.
It was all illuminated beautifully by natural light streaming in from the open balcony and windows at the far side.
"Wow," I breathed out, in awe of the room as I passed by Jace to take it in more. I saw him smirk in a self-satisfied way, as if he had constructed the room himself. As if.
I heard him tut behind me as I walked in, "No, no. This is Ama's room. You will not be staying here with her."
A growl came from my Hellhound, and as I turned around, I saw him lunge towards Jace, fire blazing in his eyes and showing how close he was to giving in to that primal nature. Thankfully, Adrien and Finias grabbed his arms and held him back before he could do any damage to Jace.
Jury was still out on how I was going to handle him as my mate, but mostly, I was relieved because we definitely wouldn't be getting help from the Impurus army if their prince was roughed up.
I had to hand it to him, though. He had balls of steel, with the way he casually leaned against the door and smiled at Damien, like he wasn't concerned or threatened in the least.
"She's not staying here without one of us. You're fucking dense if you think we'd let that happen," Colt tossed out.
Drayven grumbled, "For once, I agree with the Fallen Angel."
Shockingly, Nico stepped into Jace's personal space and seethed, eye-to-eye with the prince, "If you're her mate, why would you risk her safety like that? You should want her to be protected at all costs. What angle are you playing?"
Jace's eyes narrowed to slits as he let out a dark laugh and pressed a finger directly into Nico's chest, "Who the fuck are you to talk to me about how to treat her?
Last time I heard, you were cozying up to other women last night and flirting with them in the pub.
Is that how you think I should treat my mate? Like you do?"
…and that about did it. My heart dropped practically into my ass at that tidbit of information, and I pressed a hand to my stomach, absolutely repulsed. I felt nauseous and numb all at the same time. I needed time alone to breathe.
"Get out," I commanded all of them. I was done with their pissing matches and shit behavior. I knew not all of them deserved to be grouped into that, but I needed some space.
"Ama, just let me explain," Nico pleaded as he turned away from Jace to face me. I could see genuine remorse in his eyes, but no part of me was willing to hear his bullshit excuses right now.
"If I talk to you right now, I am going to be mean, Nico. That is my defense mechanism when I’m hurt.
I am going to say nasty shit. I’m not going to even try to explain to you how much what you did hurts—clearly you don’t understand, since you did it,” I explained with no emotion, my voice a monotone.
“Still, I don't want to stoop to your level and hurt the person who is supposed to be my fucking mate.”
He winced, like my words had cut deep. They were the truth, though, so if they hurt him, it's because they came across as I’d intended.
"Come on, Nico. Give her space," Adrien coaxed him as he pulled at Nico's arm. My Wraith prince looked hurt for me and like he wanted to wrap me in his arms, but he knew it wasn't what I needed right now.
I'd stay strong in front of them. And then I'd fall apart in private.
Because, as much as I didn't want to admit it, they all had a piece of my heart already, and it was gut wrenching to think that Nico could do such a thing to me. To our bond. It was the ultimate slap in the face, and it made me question whether I really had a future with all of them.
Thankfully, everyone turned to walk down the hall when Jace said, "I will show you to your rooms in just a moment. Give me a second with Ama, please."
What did he not get? I wanted to be alone.
I pulled my shoulders back and raised my chin, ready to argue with this stubborn man, but he shocked me by the way his shoulders drooped forward, and he said quietly, "I'm sorry. That was wrong of me." Oh.
My face scrunched up in confusion at this change in his demeanor.
"I just wanted to make a dig at him because of him inferring that I didn't care about you as much as they did. But I didn't take into account how that would hurt you, and for that, I'm immensely sorry," his words dipped quieter at the end, and I could see the authenticity radiating from him.
I was in utter shock at this mature side of him and allowed him to pull my hand up to his mouth.
He pressed a gentle kiss to it and dropped it, adding, "This room was spelled by Pelia to have a barrier around it.
The only people the magic will allow in are your mates.
This entrance and the balcony are safe."
He walked out without waiting for a response from me, closing the door behind him and leaving me in silence. Okay…Well, that was…I didn’t have the energy for this right now, truth be told.
Turning around, I walked towards the balcony, welcoming the comforting feeling of the breeze flowing over my face and through my hair. I released my wings from their glamour, and they immediately twitched at the feeling of the air, itching to fly through the sky.
Walking to the edge of the balcony, I leaned on the stone barrier and rested my head on my forearms. Inhaling deeply, I held my breath for a moment as I attempted to center myself before blowing it out.
I’d known that it wouldn't be easy to juggle all of these relationships and that we would face bumps in the road as we got to know each other on a deeper level, but I never imagined that I’d have to worry about my mates with other women.
Time passed by in a blur as I zoned out and became lost in my thoughts until a gentle knock sounded at my door. Coming to, I realized my cheeks were wet with tears. Sighing deeply, I wondered which one of them couldn't respect my desire to have space.
Walking over to the door, but not opening it, I called out, "Who is it?"
"It's me," Nico's voice responded, automatically making my heart constrict.
"What do you want?" I rasped out.
"Will you let me in so I can explain, face-to-face?" he inquired. I was quick to rebuff him.
"No."
I heard him sigh through the door, the sound filled with pain and resignation at my anger, before he continued on, still clearly not getting the picture that I didn't want to hash this out right now, "I was hurt, Ama.
Did I handle it the right way? Not at all.
I was aching with the need to know how you felt about me.
That you felt this between us, and that you wanted it—not just because we were told that we were mates, and that was that. "
He paused for a minute, and I waited for him to continue as I leaned my head against the door.
"I see the way you look at everyone besides me. I know I'm emotionally stunted and terrible at conveying my feelings. It's my fault we aren't further along in our relationship. But devildamn do I want you with every fiber of my being, Ama," he breathed out.
“You wanted to fuck someone else, dude,” I said, my tone filled with bitterness.
He defended himself, “But I didn’t! Plus, I didn’t want to fuck anyone…I just thought if I talked to someone else, that maybe it would help me forget about you and Finias upstairs. Forget about how fucking jealous I was.”
"What do you want, a fucking cookie for not taking it that far?" I scoffed at the first part of his statement, utterly baffled by how dense he was acting. I didn’t bother saying anything to the second part because it was clear he was jealous, and it didn’t excuse his behavior.
"No, of course not! But..." he trailed off.
"But what, Nico? I have a ball to get ready for, so this pleasant little conversation needs to be over."
"I'm sorry, Ama. Truly. I will spend the rest of my days in this life proving to you that I want you, and only you. And I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust back."
The rest of his days? Could I believe his words? I wasn’t positive I could, truth be told. Nico’s emotions were volatile and untrustworthy. What if I did forgive him and trust him again, but then we fought? Would he run off to another pub? No. I couldn’t trust Nico.
He hadn’t earned that.
I let silence stretch between us, not capable of forming any words to say back to that. There was simply nothing I could say right now that would make him feel better because I wasn't ready to forgive him.
He must have sensed that as he said, "I'll leave you to get ready. Thank you for listening to me."
I heard his feet retreat, and I leaned my back against the door, sliding down to sit on my ass and dropping my face into my hands, rubbing harshly. When I looked up, my eyes fell to the pale pink dress laid out for me to wear, and I sighed, knowing I needed to get ready.
The dress was beautiful, but it wasn't something I'd have chosen for myself. It was a strapless gown with chiffon that billowed out from the waist, ethereal and so girly it was painful… but I'd wear what they’d given me.
I really wasn't in the mood to be around a large group of total strangers, knowing I'd need all my energy to plaster on a fake smile and make nice to ensure we got the army we needed. Plus, the last time I’d been to a ball, it hadn’t exactly ended very well.
As in, it had ended with an attempt on my life… so this had to be better, right?
Pushing myself to my feet, I walked to the cream-colored vanity that had a spread of makeup laid out for me.
It was time to put on my war paint and prepare myself to get the resources we needed to save our kingdom.
I wouldn't let my personal issues with Nico get in the way of that. It was all that mattered tonight.
Breathing deeply, I picked up a makeup brush and stared at the mirror. “You can do this, Ama,” I told myself in the reflection.
I could, and I would.