Chapter 25
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Adrien
My eyelids were fighting me on staying closed. Or maybe I was fighting them because all I saw when I closed my eyes was the possibility of losing the woman who had become my entire world. My purpose in life. My beauty.
A multitude of scenarios kept playing out in my brain, ranging from Ama being captured and used against us, to even worse—the Dark Elves killing her. We already knew from the assassination attempt that was what they truly wanted, and they wouldn't hesitate to do whatever it took to get it.
I kept telling myself that I wouldn't let that happen and neither would they. It was clear she was the center of all of our hearts and minds, even though some were fighting that within themselves. If push came to shove, I knew each one of them would sacrifice their lives for her.
But I was a realist at the end of the day, and the logical part of my brain couldn't deny that there were multiple outcomes we couldn’t prevent that could put Ama in a grave.
The idea of having Finias glued to her ass and protecting her was a tempting one, but our fiery beauty would never have that. No, we had to give her room to flourish and fight for what she believed in, or she would never forgive us.
Life would have been easier if we had a mate that let us hide her away and carry out the war without her. But that wouldn't be a woman we loved and respected. No, Ama was fucking perfect in her balance of fierce independence with the moments she softened and allowed us to see her emotional depth.
It was that same emotional depth that could end this for us.
The elves were a cunning and powerful faction, and I had no doubt they would exploit Ama's relationship with her dad.
It was clear in the way her eyes shone as bright as the stars when she talked about her dad that she loved him with everything in her.
I knew she'd risk it all for him. She would hand herself over if it prevented his death.
My blood boiled at the thought, and my fist clenched at my side. I was usually a calm man, but I was livid at having to accept that we couldn't guarantee her protection. We had to fucking accept that there was a chance we wouldn't get a happily ever after at the end of this.
I didn't like it one devildamned bit.
My chest heaved with the deep breaths I was forcing myself to take.
But no matter how much air I forced into my lungs, no tranquility came with the exhales.
I needed to burn off steam somehow, but I didn't know how.
I never felt this worked up, but right now, all I could feel was frustration and agitation over this situation.
Opening my eyes, I ached to take in the stars lighting up the night sky instead of the top of the tent we had been placed in.
I was drawn to them and often found myself searching for constellations from my studies.
It was usually a grounding and calming coping mechanism for me, but I didn’t think I could calm down enough to focus on them right now, anyways.
Swallowing down my groan of contempt for this situation, I focused back on my breathing to try to keep myself from waking the others. They needed to be rested for what lay ahead in the coming days.
Sitting up slowly, I glanced over at Ama's sleeping figure just a few feet away. Noticing the way her breath had one strand of her hair blowing slightly with every exhale had me mesmerized. Seeing her breaths seemed to do the trick, reminding my brain that she was here with us, and she was alive.
Nothing had ever riled me to this level of frustration and anger before. Having to accept that a situation was out of my control and that I couldn't come up with a solution for every scenario was infuriating.
When it came to my parents and sister being trapped under the Dark Elves' control, I felt I was able to be far more rational.
I knew deep down that they wouldn't kill them yet.
The House of Runes needed prisoners to try to force our hands.
While I was still on edge at the thought of my family being under their thumbs right now, I felt a sense of calm in knowing they couldn't afford to kill any more of our family members.
Taking out two sets of monarchs was the most they could get rid of if they wanted a majority of the princes and the princess to bow to them in exchange for our families.
Life was a game of strategy, and I was usually damned good at it. I enjoyed sitting in the shadows and taking in information about everyone in any room because it gave me a distinct advantage to learn what made people tick and how to exploit their weaknesses.
And we were entirely fucked with Ama as our weakness.
Her eyelids fluttered open, as if she could sense my gaze on her, and a small yawn slipped from her lips.
She stretched and looked around, making sense of the situation at hand.
When she mumbled my name in confusion, looking concerned, I realized I needed to hold her.
I needed to feel her heart beating strongly to be able to lull myself to sleep—or at least a state that somewhat resembles sleep.
Quickly, I reached for her and dragged her to lay tucked in my arms against my chest. Her hair tickled my nose as I breathed her in, allowing her warmth to seep into me and calm me.
She wiggled in my grip, and as I loosened it, she turned to face me and peered up at me, whispering, "Your heart feels like it's going to burst out of your chest. What's wrong?"
I answered hoarsely, my voice thick with emotion, "Every time I close my eyes, all I see is you being ripped away from us in this war."
Instantly, she reached up to cup my cheek in her small palm as her eyes softened in understanding.
"I can't promise that everything will be okay, Adrien. I can promise you that no matter what, we are in this together. You have my heart…forever. In this life and every single one after, if we are lucky enough to have another.”
“Ama,” my voice was rough.
My entire chest flared at her admitting that I had her heart forever, but I had to hold back my retort that I didn’t want a different life. I wanted this one that we were living with her now.
“I love you.” Her voice was soft and had my entire body freezing. “I love you, Adrien, and I know it probably seems too soon—”
My lips pressed against hers, silencing her protest, “I love you. I love you so much, beauty.”
Her hand drifted from my cheek, down my neck, coming to rest on my chest above my wildly thumping heart. "Can you take me away from here? I want a moment alone with you."
My shadows responded before I could even process her request fully, wrapping us in their dark embrace and re-materializing us on a bed of soft grass under an area particularly well-illuminated by the moon's rays.
A groan nearly slipped from my throat when I realized that my magic had deposited me on my back and Ama was straddling me, her hands pressed against my chest as I ran my fingers up her waist, keeping her locked to me completely.
Glancing around to ensure we were safe, she looked nervous at being exposed and so far from everyone.
I hadn't meant to transport us this far out, where the light of the campfires was just a speck in the distance.
At the same time, my magic sometimes knew what I needed better than I did, and I could already feel myself being able to breathe—being able to escape the pressure of everything that came with being back at camp.
Reaching up, I gripped her chin lightly as I cocooned us in my shadows once more, creating a dome around us. "My shadows will alert me to anyone or anything around us. We're safe here, beauty. Safe to escape all of that."
I was worried she would feel even more nervous within the pitch-black shadows I'd shrouded us in.
No light was able to get in, leaving us relying on our senses of touch and sound to navigate in the darkness.
Much to my surprise, I felt her body instantly relax under my touch and at my words, and she slid her hand down my chest to the top of my pants.
A low rumble erupted from my chest as she leaned forward and pressed her lips against my ear, softly saying, "I don’t want to escape us, though.
I want you to feel me. I want you to feel that I'm alive and with you in this moment, body and soul.
I'm here with you right now and no one can take this from us. "
I knew what she was saying without her even expanding upon it. She couldn't guarantee that we would have forever together, but what she could give me was the memory of a moment in time when we lost ourselves in each other. A moment that was just ours.
There was something extremely sensual about losing the sense of sight.
Every brush of her fingers against me felt like an electric undercurrent beneath my skin, which only heightened as she pulled my shirt off and leaned down to press kisses from my neck all the way down to the cut muscle of my hips.
Her lips burned a trail of fire across my skin, and I groaned as she pulled at my waistband, reaching in to grip my cock in her hand to free it from the fabric.
Shit. This woman clearly had no idea how much control she had over me, considering her touch alone had me feeling like I could fucking come.
"Ama," I breathed out, trying to maintain some level of rationale, "You don't have to do this just to make me feel better."
A low guttural sound escaped my throat as she began to slowly pump her hand up and down my length.
She moved off of me for a brief moment. I wasn't sure what she was doing because my brain had instantly turned off, letting my other head take over. My worries fled from my mind as the sensations completely overrode my brain function. I had never explored a physical relationship with a woman prior to Ama, and the moment, paired with the intense emotions I felt for her, was causing a darker, more base instinct to come out—and I wasn’t positive how to handle it.