Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
Ama
As I lay in my bed and stared up at the stone ceiling, I tried to dissect my emotions so I could work through them instead of dwelling on them.
The only way to get to the other side of a tough time was to go directly through it.
At least, that's what my dad always told me.
If you continued to dwell on the issue, you'd never find the peace waiting for you on the other side of it.
Curling up on my side, I stared into the now dark landscape of the realm I could see out my window.
I couldn't help but wonder what was going on with my men and with our families.
Had they started the attack on Pura yet?
Were our family members safe, or had the Dark Elves decided they no longer needed them?
My stomach churned at the thought of them being dead, and I quickly sat up as nausea rocketed through me. My dinner threatened to come up, so I closed my eyes and took in deep breaths.
They were okay.
We would get to them in time.
Everyone would make it out of this.
I chanted those three sentences in my head like a mantra until my stomach settled and my heart stopped racing.
Unfortunately for me, that was the exact moment a knock sounded at my door. Typically, no one waited for me to tell them to come in...because why would they? I was a prisoner, and what I wanted didn't matter. Everyone here was blind to Luce's flaws and followed him with stars in their eyes.
When I waited a few moments to see who would enter but no one did, my brows knit together in confusion. I called out, "Who is it?"
"It's me, Little Temptress," the devil himself called out.
I scoffed lightly at him having apparently just now learned what boundaries and respect were. Perhaps it was a little too late for that.
My head fell back, and I stared at the ceiling once more, mumbling to myself, "What am I supposed to do?"
A part of me truly did feel bad for the life he had endured after being cast out by those who should have been his family and told he was born to be darkness itself.
That was so damned wrong, and it was an experience that easily had the power to warp anyone into a cold shell of who they could have been.
Despite that, it was so obvious Luce wanted the warmth and happiness love could bring. He didn't want to be alone and cold.
However, I couldn't excuse how he’d responded to his jealousy about others finding love in front of him by lashing out in a manner that had led to the near complete slaughter of my kind.
He had acted like a child throwing a tantrum over other people having what he thought he couldn't have.
If he couldn't have it, neither could anyone else.
The truth of the matter was that he was selfish—really fucking selfish—and I didn't regret saying that to him tonight. Someone had needed to tell him the harsh truth instead of blowing smoke up his ass about how great a man he was.
Yes, I could feel sympathy for him despising being alone because, honestly, no one wanted to feel that.
But damn, how many times had I felt alone in my life?
I had been treated like complete shit by an entire kingdom, constantly spoken down to, and made fun of for things I couldn't control. Yes, I had resentment towards those people and wished I could hurt them like they’d hurt me, yet I had never given in to those urges.
I would never lower myself to being cruel like them, and that was the main difference between me and Luce.
I would never want to see someone hurt like I had, but Luce had actively sought ways for others to feel the depth of his pain.
Fate might have chosen that Luce would run Hell, but it damn sure hadn't forced him to choose the path he had once he was down here. That was all on him.
"Amare, may I please come in?" his deep voice asked, making me roll my eyes.
I couldn't help but snark back, "Why does it suddenly matter what I want? You only care what you want."
Silence stretched for a few moments before the door creaked open, and I chuckled lifelessly, "See. You do what you want—"
His eyes narrowed on me as he cut me off, "I came to give your powers back to you."
The statement had my mouth snapping closed and my eyes widening in shock. Was he being serious? If I had my powers, I had a fighting chance to get out of here, and he had to know that.
As he approached me, he gestured towards the bed, "May I sit next to you?"
"It's your castle. Do as you please," I answered, unable to keep the sarcasm from dripping from my words.
A part of me was deeply wounded by the knowledge of his active role in inciting the war against my kind. Why were we fated to be together? Did the Fates truly think it was fair to tell me this man—who’d caused an almost near genocide of my people—was meant to be one of my soul mates?
I didn't think I was capable of seeing him in any other light now. Forgiveness for such a vile transgression wasn't something I thought I would be able to give him. He had literally caused the violence and following resentment that had brought about my own damned bullying and harassment.
The bed dipped with his weight as he sat on the edge and placed a hand on my shoulder. Instantly, I felt the warmth of my powers flooding my body and rolled my shoulders in bliss at the feeling. I hadn't realized just how damned empty I’d felt without them.
Standing up, I stretched languidly as some of my strength returned, but as I reached to pull my powers to the surface, they felt stunted. It was as if I could feel them simmering beneath my skin but was unable to use them.
Luce cleared his throat, his golden eyes pleading with me to understand.
This motherfucker. He had returned my powers to me but had some sort of lock on me actually using them.
Throwing my hands up, I scoffed, "Still trying to control me? Shocker! Selfish, Luce. This is still being selfish. How foolish of me to think you were actually doing the right thing for once. But nope—you still have to have what you want in the equation."
He quickly stood and reached for me, which I evaded easily by taking a few steps back. "I just want to keep you, Ama. I can't lose you," he whispered, his voice sounding broken, but I wouldn't allow him to get under my skin.
Crossing my arms against my chest, I shook my head at his deluded statement and corrected it for him, "The funny thing about that is, you can't lose something that was never yours to begin with."
His shoulders sagged as he tried to rationalize the situation in his favor, "I saw you slowly accepting me before the hybrid revelation, and I am in no way saying I was in the right…
It was before, Ama. We all change and grow, so why can't you forgive me for my past and let me prove that I am a better man now? "
Was he seriously that dense?
Frustration welled within me, and I yelled, "I have given you a chance to prove it, and you aren't a better man! The only difference is that you went to sleep and then woke up thinking that suddenly you were a good person because you were given the fated mate bond you've so desperately wanted!"
His eyes dropped from my face to the floor as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his slacks.
"Look at me," I demanded. When his gaze lifted, I let the shield on my emotions crumble long enough to show him how deeply I was hurt by his actions.
My tears welled with anger and fury at his blindness.
"How could you ever think I could forgive you for the hybrids?
You're the reason Pura has so much power and I was ostracized my entire life. You could have changed that. You could have truly righted your wrongs and ensured that this kingdom flourished with equality for everyone. But you didn’t! You fucking went to sleep."
His jaw clenched and his eyes hardened as he argued back, "I chose leaders who would keep the peace in Pura! I gave the hybrids a sanctuary! I could have let everything burn to the ground, but I didn't!"
"That's bullshit," I snapped. "Do you seriously want a pat on the back for having the smallest shred of decency? For a situation you caused?"
I had really pushed his buttons, but I wasn't going to back down, even as he closed the space between us and seethed down at me, "Don't act like you're perfect, Amare. No one is. Not you, not your other little playthings, and definitely not me."
My lips curled back as I tilted my head up to meet his eyes, refusing to back down. "I never said I was perfect, but I know damned well I'm a better person than you. Boo hoo, you didn't have a soulmate. You're no better than a child who doesn't get his way."
The floor beneath us began to shake, and Luce’s eyes changed from a bright gold to a deep red.
"Is this your temper tantrum?" I goaded, wanting to prove my point. "I'm not rolling over and giving you what you want, but I am calling you on your shit, so you're going to tear this castle down?"
In the blink of an eye, his lips were on mine, harsh and unforgiving as he pushed his tongue into my mouth and threaded his fingers into my hair.
Something about the tension and anger boiling between us in conjunction with feeling my Succubus powers flaring had me kissing him back like a damned idiot.
While I did feel more energized than before with my powers flowing through me, I still felt an overwhelming desire to feed and satisfy that part of me. It was making my brain fuzzy and my actions questionable.
I knew the moment he lifted the lid on my powers as he dropped his hands to my ass, hauling me up onto him and wrapping my legs around his waist. I could feel his energy pouring into my mouth with every passing second of our kiss.
The truth of the matter was that I needed to feed if I wanted to be at my prime, and with no souls to reap, this was my only opportunity. When he’d ripped my powers from me, he’d also kept me from seeking out my men to feed from in my dreams—and deep down, I knew he knew that.
He had dream-shared with me before and knew I was capable of it. He had sensed when Drayven and I’d shared my last dream and had taken my powers, not wanting me to have any contact with my men. As if he could wipe them from my memory as time went on and I wasn't able to see or speak with them.
That's how I knew this access to my powers was only temporary. So, I would use him just like he was using me right now. It wasn't a healthy situation by any means—I knew whatever this was between us was toxic, and he would never change.
My back hit a stone wall as he ground his hard cock against my core, lighting me on fire with my Succubus powers at an all-time high. No part of me was holding them back for once, wanting to get my fill of energy as quickly as I could before this had a chance to go further.
A heady feeling quickly swept through me. It was a euphoria like no other. Drunk on the power I had collected from him, I was floating in the clouds.
It gave me immense pleasure to wind my hand up and firmly smack him in the face, shattering this moment between us. His head reared back, and his eyes flew open, still glowing a deep red as he growled at me.
Dropping my legs from around his waist, I slammed my palms into his chest to get him to let go of me. "This isn't done," he said possessively as his hands still firmly held me up on him and against this wall. I had no physical advantage.
But I did have my sharp tongue.
"I got what I needed. You can see yourself out now," I said with a cold bite to my words.
"Fine," he agreed, dropping me to the ground and snapping his fingers.
Instantly, my powers were contained within whatever lock he managed to keep on them as he grinned at me.
Had he seriously learned nothing from our conversations?
I lifted my chin as I asked in a steady voice that didn't portray how fast my heart was still beating from that heated interaction, "You do realize the only point you're proving right now is mine, right?"
His eyes narrowed to slits as I smiled a sickeningly sweet fake grin. "A child and his tantrums, once again."
"You used me. Don't act all high and mighty," he quipped back.
A chuckle bubbled out of me, and he looked at me like I'd lost my mind.
"The difference is that I used you to possibly have the chance to go be with the people I care for and to save a kingdom from tyranny."
Walking up to him, I shoved a finger into his chest sharply, "You use me to try to fulfill your own selfish desires. We are not the same."
If looks could kill, I'd be dead right now from the enraged expression on his face.
His fists clenched at his side as he breathed deep, shallow breaths that came out like ragged pants before he turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him as he did.
Inhaling deeply, I let out my breath slowly as I walked to the light switch and turned it off.
Padding back over to my bed, I slipped under the covers and gazed out into the sky.
I needed to get out of here while I was full from that feeding—and before he could steal my powers from me completely once more.
Tomorrow, I'd actually attempt to break this lock on my powers and escape. No more hoping that he would see reason and actually be a decent person, deep down.
No, Luce was officially dead to me.