Chapter 17
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Colt
Somehow, not a single jealous bone in my body flared as I watched all the others pour their love out to Ama and sweep her into passionate and gentle kisses. If anything, I felt a spark of acceptance in knowing she would never lack for love between all of us. That was what she deserved.
To always feel cherished, protected, and loved.
Perhaps the Fates had given her all of us because we could fill her cup back up.
As we walked through the camp, she glanced around, soaking it all in.
Leading her to the edge of the camp where no one could see us or hear us, I pulled her down to the ground and lay down, positioning her so she was sprawled against my chest. I was very aware of the fact that she had no pants on, but I tried to rid my mind of the dirty things I wanted to do to her right now, knowing this moment wasn’t about me.
A sigh of contentment came from her as her fingers traced random paths along my chest, making me want to rip my shirt off to feel her skin to skin.
"I was worried you brought me out here, away from the others, to end things between us," she admitted softly, making me tighten my arm holding her to me.
"No! Never, Ama. I am in this with you for the long haul.
I can't wait to fall in love with you more with every passing day we have together as we learn every detail there is to know about each other.
I will love you as you grow and change—as we all do.
I will fall in love with you through every phase of your life for as long as we live.
As my friend, lover, wife, and the mother of my children, if those are all things you want," I answered in a rush, hating that she still doubted my commitment.
I couldn't really blame her, though, after my rude actions and dumbass mouth.
I heard her sharp intake of breath, as if she was shocked by my proclamations.
I hated that I’d broken the trust that should have been between us, but I'd rebuild it and fortify it every day for the rest of our lives so she never doubted the depths of my feelings for her again.
"Don't scare me like that again," she grumbled, but I could hear the smile in her voice, "In my mind, you were either going to break up with me or murder me."
She giggled at the end, but I knew it was because she was emotionally overwhelmed after all of us had poured our hearts out to her.
It had to be a lot to soak in, especially on top of what I could sense was weighing her down.
I’d noticed humor and sarcasm were her coping mechanisms because they were also mine.
Normally, I would give in and not push her, but we needed to have this talk.
"I just wanted to pull you away and give you some space to breathe and process everything. Honestly, I saw that there was something you weren't telling us when it came to the devil," I hedged, not wanting to pry too deeply, but leaving her an opening if she wanted to talk about it.
There was a haunted look in her eyes—something like a mixture of remorse and acceptance. I didn't want her to have to dwell on whatever it was alone.
"Oh," she breathed out in surprise. "I thought I had hid that well. Guess not."
My chest shook lightly as I chuckled, "I used to be a selfish, arrogant prick. But I'm trying to think of others now, and part of that is noticing the subtle changes in facial expressions or tone that maybe others might not stop to notice. I'm trying to be better."
"It's complicated," she said, as if that would scare me off.
Glancing down, I used my free hand to tip her chin up so she couldn't hide from me as I countered, "Bring it on."
Her eyes widened as she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and nibbled on it nervously. Moving my thumb from her chin to her bottom lip, I gently pulled it out and chided her, "You can't bite that and expect me to not punish you for hurting those beautiful lips."
I saw her normally pink eyes pulsate with a brighter tone for a moment, showing her powers rising to the surface, wanting to come out and play.
"What if I want you to punish me?" she asked breathily as I ran my thumb along her lip before she captured it into her mouth, flicking her tongue around it and sucking.
It was like a jolt directly to my cock, making it ache with how hard it became. Little vixen was trying to distract me.
A lazy smirk pulled at the corner of my mouth as I goaded her, "You really think that's all it takes to hide your emotions from me? Come now, that's insulting, baby."
Her eyes narrowed, loving the challenge I threw at her.
Quickly, she rose to straddle me and reached for the waistband of my pants, but I stopped her, gripping her hands.
Knowing they were the only thing separating us had me damned near panting with need.
It took all the restraint in me not to give in.
"Ama, what are you hiding? Not just from me, but from yourself.
It's clear this is weighing heavily on you.
Sex doesn't fix it. It only temporarily makes you forget, but reality will come crashing back down like an avalanche, and it will feel so much more devastating coming down from the natural high then. "
A growl that was quite adorable rumbled out of her as she pulled her hands from mine and smacked me lightly. "Why did you have to go and be mature right now?"
I flashed a big smile at her. "Because I have a great habit of annoying you."
Her brows rose as she chuckled, "That's one way to put it."
She leaned forward and laid down with her cheek against my chest as she sighed. Wrapping my arms around her, I breathed her in and gave her a moment to figure out where to start.
"It's complicated with Luce...the devil."
"Go on. I promise I will just hold you and listen. No judgement, baby," I assured her.
She groaned in frustration, "He's so infuriating!"
I couldn't help but chuckle, happy that it wasn't me who was making her feel this way anymore.
The floodgates now open, she continued, "He kidnapped me and held me there against my will, and I was so angry. But he is also so fucking broken and just wants to find his once-in-a-lifetime love. It's heart wrenching, but at the same time, I wanted to stab him in the eyes countless times."
"I'm sure Fin will love to hear that," I joked, lightening the mood so she knew I wasn't angry with her for talking about her time with Luce.
I didn't like that he’d taken her from us. No, that was an understatement—I hated him for doing that, to us and to her. However, with all of my own fuck ups, I couldn't bring myself to cast judgement until I knew the full story. He had ended up returning her to us safely, in the end.
"Were you just angry that he took you?" I asked, trying to help get to the root of the problem.
"No," she answered, so much sorrow imbued into that one word that I knew she was on the verge of tears.
I held her tighter and kissed the top of her head as she explained, "He is a selfish man.
He thinks only of his own wants and needs, and he is the reason the hybrids were hunted to near extinction in the war.
He incited the rage and violence because he was jealous of everyone finding their fated mates.
He said he felt if he couldn't have one, then no one should. "
Fuck. That was a lot of guilt to carry on your shoulders.
Taking a deep breath, she continued, "He wanted his realm to match his anger. He thought it would make himself feel better, but by the time he realized it didn't, it was too late. The damage had been done, making this unbreakable divide between hybrids and pure-bloods."
She sniffled, "He's the reason I grew up knowing so much hate."
My heart broke thinking of her life growing up, having seen how she was treated at the Summit and then experiencing just the smallest taste of it in Impurus. Her whole life she had battled it, with just her dad and Zurie on her side to keep her going.
"The worst part is that he thinks he atoned for his sins by selecting the heads of the houses for Pura and giving the hybrids a new territory with one gifted line to protect them. As if that erases the thousands of innocent people killed."
Yeah, the dude had really fucked up. Damn, had he not realized how personal that would feel to Ama? Had he really expected her to just forgive and accept him? Not our little mate.
A humorless laugh bubbled out of her, "And to top it all off, he went to fucking sleep and didn't even bother to wait around and ensure that the realm recovered from the war he incited! He's a coward."
I wasn't sure how exactly she wanted me to react to this, so I tested the waters with my question, "But you feel a pull to him, yes?"
She let out a shrill scream and pushed from my chest, gesturing around wildly with her hands, "Yes, and I fucking hate that I can't stop thinking about him all alone in that castle!
A part of me wanted him to step through that portal with me and put a stop to this war here.
To prove that he wasn't that same selfish coward anymore.
To prove that he was worthy of having my heart! "
Ahh, I understood now. She saw pieces of him that were redeemable and wanted him to just snap his fingers and change right then and there.
"Men are fickle creatures, baby," I started, capturing her gaze with my words. "It sounds like there are some good qualities to him, otherwise you would have had no issue flipping him the middle finger or even hitting him in the head with your wing on the way out."
I’d had to add that last part to remind her of our first interaction and how far I had come. How far we had come.
I wasn't quite sure why I was trying so hard to help her work through her issue with a new mate who had taken her from us and held her against her will.
No, that was a lie. I was helping her because I knew this was tearing her apart inside, and I couldn't allow that.
No matter what, I would ensure my mate was always happy.