Chapter 4 Matured by the Monster
Matured by the Monster
Adrenaline pounds through me as I spring to my feet, hands clenching into fists. "Don’t you dare eat and run," I grind out through my teeth. My heart thrashes so hard, I fear it will burn a hole through my chest so it can escape my body.
"What you did was foolish." Shadow’s voice holds more roughness than I remember. Or is it filled with pain?
I blink and the chicken foot is gone, plate clattering loudly again as if it had been smacked in the process.
A long black hand claws its way out and then another. Shadow pulls himself out from under the bed in slow motion, like from a horror movie. Normally white misty eyes now burn red with the fire of a demon.
Shadow and sinewy muscle emerges in unnatural movements until he fills the room.
"Wh—what’s wrong with you?" I ask.
I’ve seen his eyes turn red only once before. The last time I saw him, four years ago. A shudder of revulsion rolls through me even as I try to push that night aside.
He doesn’t answer my question. Instead, he clings to the other side of the room, eyes burning into my skin.
I start toward him.
"No!" his voice booms.
Recoiling, I step back, my stomach lurching like a ship being tossed on a merciless ocean.
Fear and rejection pour through me, making my limbs heavy. "Why did you leave?" I ask again.
Though his features are always just out of focus, I feel him. I feel agony, pain, and…
"You missed me, didn’t you?" I ask, daring to take a step forward again. Is that what I’m feeling from him? Or am I projecting because I’ve desperately missed the only friend I’ve ever known?
Something about his form softens and expands as if to say, Of course I did.
Approaching him, hand outstretched, I wait for him to bellow at me, threaten, or even hurt me. He can do anything he wants as long as he stays here with me.
Because there is no pain as deep or persistent as when he is not with me.
"Don’t," he grumbles, but he doesn’t move away.
My hand slips into the dark ether of his shadows, a reassuring pressure around my skin. I continue until I lay my palm against his face. He is as black as night and my own skin phases in and out between that darkness as I revel in the feel of his solid flesh. His eyes lighten toward white mist.
Last night, what I almost did, makes me want to vomit. How I let that guy touch me, how I tried to provoke my Shadow.
"I’m sorry," I whisper, as a hot tear streams down my cheek.
Tendrils of inky shadow curl around my neck, both my legs and arms, all of him caressing me like hot velvet. Liquid lava builds in my lower body as my inner muscles clench against an ache that echoes how my heart feels.
Empty, hungry to be filled.
But then the tendrils tighten. In a single, brutal motion, I’m ripped from the floor and slammed against the wall. Air rushes from my lungs as they coil tighter, holding me fast—even as his body remains across the room, untouched.
Embers of blood-red fire blaze in his eye sockets as he approaches, closing the distance while his shadows keep me pinned. He likely thinks I’m struggling, but I arch into the restraints, welcoming the contact. Emotions rise, thick in my throat, and my eyes burn with unshed tears. I need this.
I need him surrounding me.
"You provoked me," he accuses, every inch the scary monster of every child’s nightmare.
"Yes," I whisper.
He strides forward, as if in slow motion while never getting any closer to me. "You let him touch you," he rasps.
I writhe against his tendrils that shift but hold me fast. If only they would slide higher up my thighs, or if one would encircle my stomach, where the growing, aching need is becoming unbearable.
My heart hammers against my ribs as my desire ramps into an unbearable state of yearning for something only he can give me.
"Would you have let him hurt you just to punish me?" Shadow’s eyes blaze.
The pain in his voice is palpable, betrayal and hurt seeping through each syllable. If only he could understand that I was desperate for love—for someone to actually care for me.
"Yes," I confess, my eyes shutting tight against my admission. God, I’m pathetic. No wonder no one could love me. Desperate, idiotic, and selfish as I am.
When I look into his eyes, I see nothing but a lonesome abyss begging to be filled and yet also warning me away at the same time.
His claws press into my stomach, pinning my hips to the wall, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from my lips. More. I need more. More of him. I’m so very empty.
"Even after all I’ve done for you?" The words leech with betrayal and hurt. When I open my eyes, I meet his misty white ones.
He’s right. He’s absolutely right, and I could never forget his last act before he disappeared.
"You left me."
Shadow’s nondescript face still manages to snarl, showcasing a pair of frighteningly large fangs. "So you choose to hurt yourself?"
His tentacles constrict around me again, pulling me closer as my shirt rides up. Talons wander over the exposed flesh of my stomach, causing me to squirm and the heat between my legs to intensify.
Something in his fierce expression changes, softens, as if he’s surprised. "You smell... different."
"I’ve changed too," I snarl back. The tips of my breasts wrench up into painful little buds that tingle mercilessly. When his hold on me starts to loosen I almost scream. "Don’t."
Shadow pauses, and then tightens his tendrils around me, his face drawing near. Even inches apart, his features remain blurred and nondescript.
The velvet ropes around my thighs grow tight as they push my thighs apart even more against the wall. The thin pair of panties bunch toward my center. I let out a cry of need as I feel completely exposed and held by the only one I’ve ever wanted.
Shadow leans forward. His face hovers close as he drags in a slow breath along my neck, sending tingles of pleasure rocketing through my body.
Then Shadow leans nearer still until our foreheads are touching and through quivering breaths he utters, "You’ve fully matured," before lowering further still until he is between my breasts, sending shocks of bliss throughout every inch of me.
Oh God... I’m close to either losing my mind or coming.
His clawed hands massage my stomach and hips as he slinks down further in open curiosity, as if I’m some scientific sample he must investigate.
His claws easily wrap entirely around my now shaking thighs, tugging them wide apart as he drags his nose down my body until it nuzzles my sex in open curiosity.
"Ungh," I cry out, moisture flooding below.
As I lose myself to the unexpected pleasure, the tendril around my neck squeezes, causing bright lights to spark behind my eyes. The pressure on my airway makes me wetter with each passing second until it starts dribbling down my thighs.
As quick as lightning, he’s across the room again. I find myself free, crouching on the ground, panting heavily. Angry tears work their way out of my eyes; my body is so sensitive and needy, I want to scream. My skin is beyond aroused, begging for something I can never have.
"You can’t, Evie," he warns.
"I can’t, what? Want you?" I ask, not recognizing the harshness of my own voice. "You are the only one I’ve ever wanted. Even when you abandoned me."
"I didn’t abandon you—" he protests in anger and frustration. "I—"
"You what?" I yell, needing him to tell me. I need him to explain why the only one I’ve ever learned to rely on left me.
A pounding on the other side of the wall comes again. "Shut up, you stupid bitch!" The angry yells are muffled.
But I’m not listening. Blood pounds in my ears so loudly, I have to focus every last bit of attention on Shadow so he will explain it to me.
Then he perks up, his head tilting as if listening for something. Elijah, my neighbor?
No, this isn’t about him—something akin to trepidation flashes over Shadow’s face and he’s ready to flee. It’s amazing how I can read his blurry out of focus features so well.
"I must go," he says.
"No," I cry, practically lunging myself at him. With a whip and snap, he catches me with his shadows. I’m openly crying, allowing myself to soak in the shame of my neediness for him.
"Don’t leave me again." I’m begging.
After a moment, he shifts until his mouth is even with my ear. His hot breath puffs over the shell and my nipples harden again. Goose pimples rise across my skin so hard and fast, it fuels the pleasure and pain I feel at having him near.
"I’ll return tomorrow," he murmurs.
I close my eyes and shudder against the sob of relief building inside me. Then he’s gone, the room ten thousand times emptier than it was before he came.
Only his last words linger, carried by a breeze that swept out from under my bed. "If I can…"
Once I’m sure he’s gone, I collapse on my bed, the overwhelming sensations coursing through me, leaving me spent. I try and focus on anything else but Shadow, yet all I can think of is him.
The heat between my thighs radiates out from within and all thought evaporates from my mind as I feverishly tug at the elastic of my panties while my fingers dive in deep to my hot center, hitting just the right spot with each pass, pressing harder until it feels almost too much.
But then it’s just enough to bring on that sweet agony of pleasure that only intensifies as I imagine Shadow’s presence enveloping me again.
My thoughts are tormented by his voice, how his eyes shine bright with that secret knowledge I’m so desperate to possess.
Why did he leave?
Or rather, why didn’t he come back?
I know why he left after that blood-soaked night.
I furiously rub my needy, desperate clit. Images of Shadow dance around in my head as I think of how an ephemeral being can somehow move like a caged animal trying to break free from its confines.
He’s right. I have matured, and my need for him has too.
Am I the stupid girl who fell in love with a reluctant protector, a monster she dipped in blood?
My breathing picks up and becomes more ragged as the sensation intensifies until I can barely hold back from screaming out his name.
A pulse starts beneath my fingers as an orgasm builds within me and it doesn’t take long before it bursts through every nerve ending in my body, wave after wave crashing over me until I am completely spent.
When it passes, tears prick at the corners of my eyes as a yawning, empty feeling settles in place of where there was once pleasure. Shadow is gone again, and he left a hole inside me that only he can fill.
I close my eyes and whisper to myself, "Tomorrow."
He’ll come and I won’t let him leave until he explains.