Chapter 18 – Grey
GREY
Idon’t understand Celaeno. She was supposed to be a monster, a creature that feeds on pain and misery. When I saw her outside the shop, attacking the humans, I was certain that all we’d been told by the Elites was true.
But what if they were wrong?
Ever since she was nearly killed by the other gargoyles, and then disappeared, I feel like I’m fighting to hold onto the things I’ve been told. I speak the words I know I’m supposed to say to my Brothers, but I don’t feel them anymore.
I stare at her as she strides down the street. She’s gorgeous, and somehow even sexier while wearing Journey’s sweater. It’s massive on her tiny frame and reaches all the way to her knees. It makes her look fragile, and the image calls to me, like a woman who belongs to us.
And yet, she’s a monster…
Gargoyles are built to protect the innocent.
So why do my instincts cry out to protect her?
She’s the enemy, right? I think about the moment I hit her and it makes me sick.
All I saw was a monster attacking innocent humans.
I think of the moment I saw her birds gathered around my Brothers.
It terrified me, even though somewhere in the back of my head I knew she wasn’t dangerous.
And then I think of the way she defended me against her own sister.
Each time I told myself that she had to be the monster we were sent to kill. But now? I see a beautiful woman who has been put in danger because of me. It turns my stomach to think about it.
Now I'm even angrier. I shouldn’t be having these complicated emotions.
This task should be cut and dry. Instead, meeting her, the real her, has me swamped with emotions that I don't understand.
I wanted to think the way she gentled when I talked about losing my brother was all an act, but is her concern for her birds and the people in this town an act too? Maybe. Maybe not.
I blame her, this intriguing creature that is nothing like we were told.
“We’ll check her house first,” she tells us softly over her shoulder.
Her voice is musical, light. Sometimes she sounds like a being who has lived for thousands of years, and sometimes she sounds young and innocent. That's probably why my instincts are screaming to wrap her in my arms and take her out of here.
And the worst part of it all?
Journey and Ender are completely smitten with her.
We've kept our vow of celibacy, hoping against hope for a chance at one of the female gargoyles as a mate.
When their current mating sequence finishes, they will be allowed to pick another harem of males to father their next children.
That has always been the tradition—they pick from chaste mates.
Unfortunately, we think we know who they’ll pick next, and it's not us. Chances are we’ll never be fathers, which is making it hard for us to feel like our celibacy is anything but a pointless torture.
Until we can get our heads on straight, we shouldn't be anywhere near an attractive woman, certainly not a woman who has captured the attention of all three of us.
Which was why we volunteered to take care of this problem in the first place.
Capturing and killing a heartless monster seemed like just the thing to make us forget about our constant hard-ons.
How were we supposed to know that the monster we’d be catching would be hot as fuck?
Celaeno freezes in front of us. “I’m thinking Candy’s house is pretty far down this road. Maybe you guys should just fly us there?”
I stiffen. Just the idea of her wrapping those little legs around my waist again has me hard as fuck. There’s no way I’ll be able to hide my attraction for her.
Ender turns to me. “Actually, it might be dangerous. Why don’t Journey and I have a thirty second head start and check it out?”
I glare at him. He knows perfectly well I don’t want to touch her again.
“Sounds perfect!” she says, looking back at me with a challenge in her eyes.
“Fine,” I huff, even though I’d much rather sneak off to the woods and masturbate until this tension eases.
We slip into an alley, eying the birds that watch us closely.
Silently, we shift into our gargoyle forms, and Ender and Journey fly into the distance with slow, even sweeps of their wings.
I’m still watching them when she leans against me and wraps her arms around my neck.
I lean down further to give her better access and our eyes meet.
She tilts her head and a sadness stills over her face that takes my breath away. “It’s okay, you know, about what happened with those other gargoyles. It hurts when people call me a monster, but I get it.”
My brain reaches for anything to put distance between us. “You still blame us for how we see you after what you did to those humans?”
To my surprise, the hurt on her face becomes heartbreaking. “I didn’t mean to.” Her words are almost a whisper.
“Then why did you do it?” I don’t know why I asked. I guess because something in me needs to know.
Her hands drop from around my neck and slide absently down my chest. Every muscle in my body tenses at her sweet touch, but her expression is far away. “It’s stupid.”
I wait.
And then, a story pours out of her lips.
Rage builds inside me with every word she speaks, but to my surprise, it isn’t at her.
It’s toward the bitch who hurt her. Who lied about her poisoning customers and got her fired from a place that actually felt like home to her.
When she finishes, she looks like she is doing everything in her power to keep from bawling.
Again, I feel an overwhelming need to protect her. I want to wrap her in my arms and tell her I understand. That I think the bitch deserved to have her eyes pecked out.
But I say nothing.
Because the second I hold her, the second I reassure her that I’m on her side, everything will change between us. Even if it already feels like it has.
I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
She takes a deep breath that rattles her whole chest. “Sorry, that was more than you probably wanted to know.”
I shrug and wince at the hurt in her expression. I didn’t know what to say, but maybe saying nothing was worse.
“Let’s just go,” she says, and there’s an edge to her voice.
I pick her up carefully, as if I’m carrying something precious and fragile, which I am.
We fly above the road the missing woman lived on until we reach the shambled house at the edge.
My brothers have just emerged from the doorway, and they glance up at us as we approach.
Ender waves a hand, and I shoot straight for them.
Settling down in the grass, Celaeno immediately shoves away from me.
That should have no impact on me, but I have to admit it hurts a little.
“It’s safe inside,” Ender says.
She hurries past him and Journey and goes into the house.
My brothers come slowly out to where I’m standing.
“Why does she seem upset?” Journey asks, his question an accusation.
I’m quiet for a minute, trying to decide what to say. “She told me why she attacked those people.”
They stare at me. Waiting.
“And I think they deserved it.”
Ender’s eyes widen. “I kind of thought something was up. So what does this mean?”
It means that the only proof we have that she’s actually a dangerous monster is now gone.
They’re looking at me, waiting for my answer to a decision I haven’t yet made. “It means right now I want to fuck her more than I want to kill her.”
Journey looks back at the house. “Fuck her? Or keep her for ourselves?”
That’s the problem. I’m thinking it might be both. I want to fuck her and keep her for ourselves.
“But,” Ender says really slowly. “If we don’t kill her, won’t the Elites just send someone else to do the job?”
I thought of that too. “Let’s just focus on solving the bird problem. Then we’ll decide what to do with her.”
Because none of this was simple. Seeing Celeano as an innocent woman changed everything. Not just how to handle her, but also our purpose in this world.
Our kind hunt and kill monsters. It’s true we haven’t done it much since our numbers dwindled to almost nothing.
Since breeding with humans has been a fail, and breeding with our own kind is so slow, the Elites haven't been willing to risk gargoyle lives. It wasn’t until recently that they seemed to have changed their minds.
I think because they realized that tensions were growing higher between all the males who had nothing to do but think about how horny and lonely they were.
So what else are we supposed to do if our purpose is taken? Hunting monsters is as natural to us as breathing. If we don't kill Celaeno, we’ll lose the faith of our people. Letting her live goes against everything we are. How can we fail at something so simple? Yet how can we go through with it?
Despite everything, I can’t picture us hurting this woman when the time comes. Which is—
A woman's scream rips through the air, jerking me out of my thoughts and into action. We race across the grass and into the house in a panic.
That was Celaeno’s scream.
Why the fuck did we leave her alone?