Chapter 17 – Cerberus
CERBERUS
It’s raining when I start walking to work, but I don’t care. I feel… amazing. My night with my neighbors was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. And the rain means the Furies’ storm is coming.
Everything feels like it’s finally coming together for me.
I’m not a fool. I know it was just one night. I also know that it can never happen again. But that doesn’t stop me from enjoying this feeling.
I imagine it’s close to how people feel when they’re loved.
When I’m halfway to my destination, I sense someone running behind me. Turning, I squint into the rain and spot Kage. He’s soaking wet. Not wearing a shirt. And looking frantic.
“What is it?” I shout over the storm.
Instead of responding, he kisses me so hard and fast that the rain fades away.
When he pulls back, his gaze holds mine. “You were gone when we woke up.”
“I had to check on the animals,” I say, even though that isn’t the only reason I left.
The idea of spending a morning with them is too much for me. It might further complicate my already complicated emotions. And that’s the last thing I need right now.
“Can I help you?” he asks.
I know I should say no, but somehow I nod.
He takes my hand, weaving his fingers through mine in a strangely sweet way. And through the rain we walk like that, the wind blowing around us, the raindrops soaking us. None of it meaning anything, because we’re together.
I use my key to open the animal hospital, then flick the light switch on and go in. Kage comes in behind me, his massive frame seeming to surround me. I lead him through the building, aware of every inch of him in a way that shocks me.
He’s a good assistant. Handing me bags of food without a word. Taking water bowls and refilling them without being told. And yet, I can feel his eyes on me every step of the way.
I talk to the cats, reassuring them about the rain. I pet my dogs, knowing the thunder and lightning makes them jump. And I Ioad up the snacks for the little creatures who seem unaware of the storm.
When I’m done, I find Kage staring at me.
“What?” I ask, feeling uncomfortable.
“You’re just… so good with all the animals.”
I smile. “I like animals. They’re innocent.” I look at a basset hound with big sad eyes and stroke him through the cage. “Like humans, except vulnerable. In need of our protection.”
He kneels down beside me and pets another dog. “I never thought of them that way.”
“I just… treat them like I think a child would deserve to be treated.”
Kage frowns. “I don’t remember most of my childhood. Just that Soren and Draven always had my back. We protected everyone we loved, and did our best to be the people they needed.”
I study him. “Children shouldn’t protect other people, they should be protected.”
His gaze goes far away. “No one has ever taken care of us. Not really. But we didn’t need them to, that’s what we had each other for.”
“So, you guys protect each other?”
He shrugs. “I’m the oldest, so most of the responsibility falls on me.”
“Why? Don’t you trust them?”
He looks surprised. “Of course I trust them!”
“Just not enough to share the responsibility with them?”
His brows draw together. “I never thought of it that way. I always just felt I had to lead them alone.”
“Dogs have an alpha who leads them. It seems to me that it wouldn’t need to be that way with you guys, if you trust each other.” He looks troubled, so I continue. “I’ve always had to do everything alone. It seems to me you’re just as lonely, but you have people right there willing to help.”
“You’ve given me a lot to think about. Maybe I need to do things differently.” His gaze catches mine. “Why were you lonely?”
I hesitate. “I guess because I didn’t have any siblings. I only had my father.”
His mouth draws into a line. “When I have children, I’ll be certain they never feel lonely. That they know above all else that we’ll protect them and love them.”
My stomach turns. “I—I don’t think I can have children, but if I could, I’d do the same.”
“You don’t think you can? What makes you say that?”
I swallow the lump in the back of my throat. “There’s a wi—a healer where I live. She was allowed to see me every so often. And she said she doubted after all my injuries that I’d ever be able to carry a child.”
“How many injuries does a child get?”
I don’t answer.
“I’m guessing the same people who failed to protect you were responsible for them?”
It’s hard to know what to say. “I don’t like to talk about those times. I just try to remember that I’m free from them now, and that if I’m smart they’ll never get me again.”
To my surprise, Kage rises and kisses the top of my head. “I’m sorry.”
I force a smile. “It’s okay. Just like these animals, we all have a history, and we carry it with us wherever we go.”
His expression is surprised. “You’re right.”
And somehow Kayla’s words do feel right. “I need to check on the animals in the back.”
He moves to follow me, but cries out, falling to his knees.
“What is it?” I say, going to his side.
He presses a hand to his chest, eyes screwed tightly shut, and I try to swallow my panic. What is this? Does it happen often? Should I call someone?
“Kage?”
After a minute that seems to go on forever, he lets out a whoosh of air. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”
He seems weak as I help him to his feet. “You were hurt the other night! We shouldn’t have… last night…”
He shakes his head, giving a strained smile. “Sex didn’t cause this injury, nor the dog attack. Believe me, one tiny woman could hardly break me.”
“Kage, I—“
He cuts me off with a kiss. “I have to go see Draven and Soren. You tend to your animals.”
I move to follow him. “Are you sure? You look pale and—“
“I’m fine,” he reassures me, then turns and heads for the exit. “We’ll talk tonight.”
I watch him leave feeling uncertain. Should I really let him go? He said he was fine…
And yet, I’d told myself I wouldn’t get my feelings involved in this. That it’d be one night with these men, and that’s exactly how it needed to be.
Because I’d come to another realization getting ready this morning.
I needed to leave this town. As soon as possible.
It was foolish that I’d stayed so long. Somehow my emotions had gotten tangled up in this place, confusing my logic.
But now I needed to face the truth; staying here was dangerous. For me and the people here.
So I had to go.
This week.
I just had to set a few things straight first, and then I’d go on. And next time I’d be sure that when I stopped somewhere I remembered that a hellhound could never have a home, just a resting place.
Because this place… it was starting to feel like the first home I’d ever had.
And that I couldn’t allow.