Chapter 28 – Lamia
LAMIA
The gargoyles must think even lower about me than I ever imagined. Apparently, the only reason they can come up with for me to want to spend time with a human is because I want to share his bed. It’s insulting. Beyond insulting.
Don’t they see? Don’t they understand what it means to me to be around other people without losing control? The man who sits with me, playing a song he let me choose that sounded lovely, is engaging and kind. He tells simple stories of his life, and I hang onto his every word.
He has a child he shares with his ex-wife. It’s hard for him to be without them, and he regrets much of how he behaved in his marriage.
I can understand those things.
And he tells me stories of his child. I find myself fascinated, hearing about the things that children in this new world enjoy. I learn about places they like, things they enjoy eating, and I wonder if my children will enjoy these same things after I bring them back.
The feeling makes me feel light. As if I’m dreaming.
It would be the perfect night, if not for the glaring gargoyles. They confuse me. Yes, they wish to rest and sleep. But as I told them, I’m not forcing them to stay here, so why are they so angry?
Because they fear I’ll hurt the human?
Probably.
The idea makes my lip curl. Of course they fear the monster will hurt the human, because to them, that’s all I am.
“Do you want to go someplace a little quieter?”
My attention snaps back to the human. “Where?”
“Outside? We can look at the stars.”
I nod. A break from this room and the glaring men is just what I need.
He leads me outside, and we step out onto a crumbling porch at the back of the bar. There’s only one dim light hanging above the door, which is good, because it allows us to see the stars overhead. And for some reason, tonight they’re beautiful.
Maybe because I’m even closer to being reunited with my children.
“Life is so long,” I say.
The human man named Earl laughs. “If you’re lucky.”
“No.” I shake my head. “If you’re lucky, your life is happy, not long.”
He gives me a small smile. “Or maybe both.”
I think of the way things have been since I met the gargoyles. If I had their company, if I had something to do with my days other than hating myself, maybe a long life wouldn’t be so bad. But then again, without our mission tying us together, we’re enemies. I can never forget that.
“Your child…” I begin, searching for the right words. “Have you ever made mistakes with her? Things you could never expect that she could forgive you for?”
Again, he laughs, a pleasant laugh. “I think all parents do. All we can do then is to try to be better the next time.”
“And nothing you’ve ever done has…made your child hate you?”
He gives me a reassuring smile. “Kids understand more than most people give them credit for. And they usually forgive easily. It’s one of the great things about them.”
I realize I’m trembling. Before all I could think about was getting them back, now I wonder if they’ll hate me for what I did for them. For destroying them. For snatching away their lives.
“Lamia…”
I turn. Ryker has come to stand silently in the doorway.
The man glances from me to him in a nervous way. “I should go, but it was nice talking to you.”
“It really was,” I say, reminding myself to smile.
He leaves, scooting past Ryker. The gargoyle only waits a moment, then moves to stand beside me, resting his forearms on the railing.
“I thought you planned to fuck that human.”
I laugh, an unkind laugh. “Of course you did, because that’s all you could imagine me wanting from the human.”
“Well, what else could you want?”
I whirl on him. “Someone to talk to! Someone to share my fears with! Someone to make me feel better!”
“And you couldn’t do that with us?”
“Do you want me to do that with you?” I challenge.
He doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
For a minute, I’m struck silent. “Why?”
This time it does take him a minute to answer. “I’d think that is obvious.”
“It’s not.”
He takes a deep breath. “We like you.”
I stare, stunned. “I’m a monster.”
“Maybe that doesn’t matter as much as we thought.”
“I killed you,” I press.
“Maybe we’ve forgiven you for that.”
My brain scrambles. “After we reach the cave, you’ll be different. And it won’t be safe to be around me.”
His gaze locks with mine. “Maybe we don’t have to worry about that right now.” Standing up straighter, he reaches out and pushes my hair behind one ear. “I think it’d be better just to focus on the here and now and enjoy each other.”
I nod, unable to speak.
“Ready to go?”
I guess I am. “Yes.”
He wraps his arms around me and draws me closer. Energy arcs between us, and I find it hard to draw in breaths. His flesh slowly shifts to his hard gargoyle stone, and his wings beat the air around us, shooting us into the sky.
I close my eyes and hold him tighter, the cold air rushing around us. I know the cabin we found isn’t far from here, but it seems a lifetime passes before we reach the little house in the woods. Vincent and Darius are already there, looking troubled.
When my feet are firmly on the ground and steady, I draw back from Ryker.
He seems to release me reluctantly. We go back inside of the house, build up the fire once more, and take turns in the shower.
When we’re done, they are settled on the couch around the fire, and I sit on the lone bed in the room watching them.
It seems strange. I’ve kind of gotten used to them being around. But after one more task, they’ll be gone. Even if they’ve forgiven me. Even if they like me. Because they’ll be like before, and I won’t.
Is it wrong that I don’t want to let them go?