61. Just Kidding. Percy and Joe The Final Chapter
CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
JUST KIDDING. PERCY AND JOE: THE FINAL CHAPTER
F or Percy and Joe, eternity was not to be. Not in the way they’d imagined, at least. During one of the many late-night sessions Percy spent with Puss, the question neither he nor Joe had broached with the others finally came up. Percy opened the subject tentatively and quietly, for he wanted only to gather information so he could break whatever news there might be to Joe by himself.
As it transpired, and not unexpectedly, it takes a little more than drinking the blood of a powerful being to hold those same powers forever. Indeed, Percy and Joe could have supped at Molly’s cut throat repeatedly, and thus revitalised the temporary magic on a regular basis, but even given Percy’s inclination to forgive natures as dark as his own fairly readily, neither of them liked Molly so very much that they could commit to that sort of lifestyle long term.
Puss explained that Molly had earned her place among the eternal through a combination of expert witchcraft and a special ‘alliance’ with her familiar. Puss offered, at some later date, if Percy and Joe worked very hard at their craft, to allow them the same opportunity. But Percy summarily decided he’d rather be dead and in Hell than see Joe fucked by the corpse of Degas, a scene that could only be marginally worse than the look on Joe’s face if he actually suggested it.
These matters, Percy dutifully related to Joe late one grey afternoon, during a long walk around the misty lake.
Joe took it about as well as could be expected, which is to say, with a mixture of sadness and relief. He meandered some time, trying to voice a reply, while Percy skipped stones along the glass-like water, waiting for him.
But what to say?
He knew now that he would have to say goodbye to Percy one day, in this life, at least. Which he’d already known was probably coming, but it had been nice to pretend it wasn’t there.
On the other hand, that one rash decision to drink Molly’s blood hadn’t condemned Percy to eternity, after all. He no longer had to worry that when Percy drank his blood in the church, it had been out of some sort of duty, or regret, or being caught up in the moment. He no longer had the fear in the back of his mind that he’d somehow forced Percy into it.
And ultimately, he’d brought Percy back. He’d really done everything exactly right this time.
Percy cut into his deliberation, saying, “I’d like to find another way.”
At that, Joe’s face and heart lifted. “To be immortal?”
“I’m happy to devote my life to figuring this out. To you. I’m sure we can do some deals. Search for the Necronomicon or the Holy Grail.”
Joe accompanied his reply with a melancholy laugh. “I think my days of believing in the power of religious relics are done.”
The whole time they’d been in Scotland, Joe hadn’t once brought up the subject of returning to the priesthood. Or of leaving it. But he hadn’t visited the lonely church up on the hill. Nor had he, as far as Percy knew, been in contact with any Church members about his position. He’d simply dropped the lot, just as he’d dropped his collar on the floor of Saint-Pierre de Montmartre.
For the first time, Percy asked, “What are you going to do?”
Joe knew what he was referring to. Yet he had no answer. He hadn’t had one since that night.
“You know,” Percy threw a stone, which skipped well and far across the water, “the Lord’s Prayer scares ghosts.”
Joe threw his own stone in response, which skipped even further. “Maybe they don’t know any better.”
“It’s possible,” Percy replied. “But it might suggest something is out there.”
“It’s not that.” Joe turned the pebbles over in his fingers as he recommenced their stroll. He needed to walk, and to stare down at the mud along the edge of the lake, to distract himself while he sorted through his knot of thoughts. “I feel like I’m letting him down.”
Percy knew he was referring to Father Milton, who had raised him. Percy walked by his side in silence, listening.
“I never really believed, I think.” Joe tried to laugh, but instead sighed out a defeated breath and gave a sidelong glance at Percy. “But I wanted to. I really, really wanted to. And it’s not as though I don’t know that exorcisms evoke the protection of God for the victim. It’s not as though supernatural lore hasn’t grown up with two halves. Good and evil. And that’s what I tried to put my faith in. Because, if he… I don’t know, what if Father Milton’s watching? What if he knows, and I’ve let him down?”
“Joe.” Percy took his hand and slowed him to a stop. “Then he must know the rest. He must know what that’s done to you. Being in the Church. Denying yourself everything you might have wanted for so long. Do you really think he’d want you to be unhappy?”
Joe shook his head, turning to face the lake. “No. He wanted to help people. That’s why he did what he did for me. But what if he was right about God? About faith? What if he’s up there, and he’s watching me, and he knows I’ve… I don’t know… betrayed him? I promised to follow the path of light, then I embraced dark magic to bring you back. And here we are, talking about going to find the Necronomicon, the Book of the Dead, the most evil book in existence, to gain eternal life… How do I come back from that in his eyes?”
“Darling, I’m not convinced these things are so very different.”
“No, you wouldn’t be,” Joe laughed out.
“I mean it. You did what you did with a purity of heart. You did it for love. And what ghost or god couldn’t understand that?” Joe made a mouth-movement like he was about to interrupt, so Percy talked on. “If we start down this path, chasing the dark arts as a means to thwart God’s grand plans for us, well, what of it? We’re hardly going to turn into villains tomorrow because of it. And we’ve done our time. So what if we buy a few more years to enjoy ourselves? Listen.” He pulled Joe’s full attention over with a gentle hand on his chin. “You’ve been nothing but good and kind your whole life.” Joe tried to turn away again, with a pained expression, but Percy refused to let go. “You’re the best man I’ve ever known, and I love you for it. And I know that will never change. I know it with all my heart. I trust you, and I love you, and anyone who’s ever known you knows that just as well as I do. Joe… I never thought I’d say this, but I don’t think you should leave the Church.”
Joe pondered Percy for a time, eyes wide, then he took one small step back from him. “Did you do a séance without me?”
“What?”
“Are you possessed right now?”
Percy broke a handsome, slanted smile.
“Where’s Percy?” He scanned their surroundings. “There aren’t any sheep around here, are there?”
Percy looped an arm around Joe’s waist and manoeuvred his head to his shoulder as he led him on. “You know it’s all bullshit as well as I do. So why not one less bullshitter in their ranks? You did good work there. You believed in that . What’s faith got to do with exorcisms, anyway? I can pull them off just as well as you can.”
“That’s true,” Joe conceded.
“You wanted a place in this world to make a difference, and I’ve seen you do it. It’s how we met. It’s how I fell in love with you. And you look so good when you wear that?—”
“Percy!”
Joe gave him a shove, but Percy was right back at his side. “And I really want to rail you in the confession booth while you’re wearing it.”
“Jesus Christ.” Joe stepped away in the other direction, bright red, but Percy tripped in front of him, halting him with a kiss. It was authoritative and loving, and when he looked at Joe again, Joe knew that was the one true and unerring thing he could always put his faith in.
He fell onto Percy’s chest. “How far is it to the Witch’s Head from here?”
“Not far,” said Percy. “Shall we go for a drink?”
“Did you return the skull?”
“Of course. Secretly. Though I’m pretty sure they knew it was me.”
“And I bet they forgave you, too.”
“It’s not as though the place burned down.”
“Then yes. Let’s go for a drink and…” He looked back at Barmiston Hall, across the lake, as dark and brooding and atmospheric as it ever was. And not at all where he wanted to be. “Do you want to take the night off? Away from the Hall? Maybe stay at the inn?”
Percy’s head tilted back with a smile. “No fish heads?”
Joe laughed. “No fish heads.”
“Let’s do it. Then…” He raised Joe’s hands up and kissed his fingers, his thumb toying with the ring he’d given him, watching for his expression over the top. “What do you say we go home?”
“Home? Home as in… home ?” Joe had all but given up the idea. The resurrections had taken so long. Percy’s necessity to be the cash cow, Althea and Leo’s apparent reliance on him… It wasn’t something he’d thought was an option. “But the Necronomicon. It’s in Japan, probably. And the Holy Grail, if that’s something you’re serious about?—”
Percy’s voice was low, calming Joe as he spoke. “I am serious. But what if we just take a bit of time? Settle in? I meant every word—I’m determined to find a way to fight this thing with you?—”
“‘This thing’ being natural human lifespans?”
“Yes, that kind of thing doesn’t apply to us anymore.” Joe only laughed in response, so Percy went on, “We’ll find our answers, and we’ll get our ending… Or our not -ending. Our never-ending story. But for now, let’s move into your cottage. You can take your position back, and while you do it, I’ll be there every day. I’ll be your houseboy.”
“You’d be bored in five minutes. I don’t think you’re capable?—”
“How about you let me decide what I’m capable of? I’m capable of loving you.” He kissed Joe’s cheek. “I’m capable of supporting you through this.” He kissed his other cheek. “And I’m capable of helping you redecorate the cottage.” He stopped Joe from protesting by kissing his lips. “I’m going to have Leo book the flights in the morning, and then the money will be spent. And I know you won’t let me throw it away.”
Joe, who wasn’t deeply inclined to argue, agreed, “They’re expensive flights.”
“They are.” Percy turned on his heel and began to trudge towards the inn, throwing over his shoulder, “And I’m determined to fuck you in that confession booth.”
“Percy!” Joe called after him. “Percy!” he yelled. He ran in pursuit, shouting, “Do you know how small those booths are?”
“I wouldn’t have a clue. I’ve never been inside one. We’ll have to get it widened.”
“You’re going to renovate the church, too?”
“I’ll do it in line with the original architect’s vision. Very tasteful.”
“Pretty sure that didn’t include a fuck bunker for the priest.”
“The Church needs to move with the times, Joe.”
Joe, having caught up, said, “Hey, Percy?”
Percy paused his march across the mud and turned back to look at Joe. Beautiful Joe. Joe, who’d given his life and love and religion for him. Who loved him now and for all eternity. And who said, “Thanks for marrying me.”
He took Joe in his arms and replied, “Handsome, I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s you and me. Forever. That’s a promise.”
“I believe you,” Joe whispered. “You and me. Forever.” And he kissed his husband.
THE END