Chapter 6 #3
Relief filled his eyes. “I thought you’d remembered your past. Doc warned me you might forget what happened from the time after your accident until the moment you get your memory back.” His smile was lopsided.
“He told me the same thing.” Why must she have only one or the other?
Mikey’s scream tore her from Jesse’s arms, and she raced toward the boy, who lay on the ground by the pile of rocks.
He sat up and held his arms out to her.
“Oh, Mikey.” He’d fallen on a sharp rock and cut his forehead, and it bled profusely.
Jesse was at her side, taking out his handkerchief to wipe away the blood. “It’s not deep.”
“Thank goodness.” She took Mikey in her arms and hurried back to the wagon.
“I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have stayed.
” Why did she use those words? It wasn’t what she meant, and yet they seemed stuck in her head.
“I’m supposed to be taking care of him. Now, he will go to his new home with a cut on his forehead.
I shouldn’t—” She stopped herself before she could say anything more because the words did not fit the situation, and yet she couldn’t get past them.
Jesse helped her to the wagon seat. “It was an accident. He’s an active little boy. His new parents will love him even with a cut on his head. Or they aren’t worthy of him.”
His words did little to comfort her. And it wasn’t just because Mikey had had a fall.
It was the thoughts that continued to echo in her head.
It was also the knowledge that she’d soon say goodbye to Jesse and start over again. He and Gram were the only people she knew at the moment, and the thought of leaving them left her floundering.
It was also the fear of what she’d learn when she found out who she was. Telling herself she had nothing to fear did not help.
“They’ll love him when they see him,” she said in answer to Jesse’s comment.
“Yes, they will.”
She looked ahead, facing her future. She had to move on as Emily Smith...someone she didn’t remember and someone with something in her past that frightened her.
Jesse gathered up the blanket and the picnic basket, stowed them in the back of the wagon, and they were on their way again.
Mikey sat on her knees and fell asleep. She let the warm sun and the steady creak of the wagon and clomp of the horses’ hooves lull her into a drowsy state.
Her head slumped forward, and she jerked awake. “How much farther?”
“We’re getting close, according to the directions George gave me.
Mr. Newman said they were near the fork where one road went west over the mountains and the other continued north toward the British Territories.
George remembered it clearly because Mr. Newman said Oregon lay to the west and he’d heard good things about Oregon.
Look, there’s a fork now. I expect that’s the one he meant. ”
Jesse reined in the horses, and Emily sat up and looked about. “There’s no house here.”
“There’s a trail to the right. It probably leads to a homestead. We’ll ask there.”
The trail was two ruts the width of the wagon wheels. They’d gone a short distance when she made out a house, a barn, and a few outbuildings. Smoke came from the chimney. As they drew closer, she made out three horses, a cow in the pasture, and chickens running free.
Her heart clenched. Her chest hurt. She didn’t remember reaching for Jesse’s hand, but she squeezed it rather hard.
She and Mikey were about to start a new chapter in their lives.
The chickens scattered as the wagon entered the yard. Jesse pulled to a halt. “Hello, the house,” he called.
A woman opened the door. The first thing Emily noticed was the baby in her arms and the toddler at her side. She’d expected Mrs. Newman to be childless. Why else would she be seeking to adopt?
A man stepped out of the barn. “Howdy, strangers. What can I do for you?”
“Are you the Newmans?” Jesse said.
“’Fraid not,” the man said.
“You know of anyone hereabouts with that name?”
The man scratched his head. “Well, now. This here place used to belong to John Newman. He and his wife sold it to us. They be the folks you’re looking for?”
“That’s the people,” Jesse said. “Mind telling me where they went?”
“Sure thing. They packed up and headed for Oregon. Said they was meeting some other folks to make the journey. That’s about all I can tell you, except they said to send any correspondence that came for them to Oregon City. Hope it weren’t important what you wanted them for.”
Emily could hardly swallow. One hand clung to Jesse, the other clutched Mikey tight. Of all the things she thought this trip would bring to pass, news of the Newmans moving away had never entered her head.
“Thanks for your help.” Jesse touched the brim of his hat and reined the horses in a circle. Not until they were several yards down the trail did either of them speak.
“What now?” he asked.
“I simply don’t know. I’m no closer to knowing who I am. Mikey is without a family and—” She couldn’t finish.
They reached the road, and he turned back in the direction from which they’d come.
“I’ll take you back to Bella Creek, and you can send a letter to them.”
“How long before they get there, do you suppose?”
“I can’t rightly say, but I suppose a month, more or less, depending on circumstances.”
“They might be there already. I’ll write as soon as we get back. But—”
“But how are you going to get him to them now that they are in Oregon?”
She nodded. “I can’t see them making the return journey this year. They’d end up crossing the mountain passes after the snows came.” She couldn’t send Mikey with strangers making the journey. She couldn’t think what she should do.
“You can only do what is humanly possible. The results are in God’s hands.”
“I know.” She sounded as uncertain as she felt. “I counted on this leading me to my past so I could learn who I am.”
“Don’t despair. God will provide another way.”
She didn’t answer. It felt to her like all possible avenues led nowhere.
They rattled along on the trail back to Bella Creek.
Mikey squirmed and fussed. She gave him a drink of water. He continued to squirm. She put him by her feet, but he wasn’t happy.
“He’s tired of being confined. We’ll stop over there and take a break.
” Jesse turned off the road toward a little clump of trees.
“It’s a good thing Gram was so generous with the food,” he said as they shared the last of the picnic lunch.
Mikey was the only one unaffected by the results of their trip and ran around with abandon.
Emily couldn’t sit still, couldn’t stand still, and paced from the wagon to the trees and back again.
Jesse leaned against the wagon box and watched her. “I wish I could help.”
“I need to know who I am.” She turned and made another circuit.
Perhaps understanding that her inner turmoil was too great for her to be able to relax, he left her to pace and went to Mikey, chasing him and making him laugh.
The sound of such abandoned joy stilled her worries. Things would work out. She just had to trust and wait.
The rest of the return trip passed in relative peace. She filled her senses with the beauty of her surroundings, the pleasure of the little boy on her knees, and the steady presence of Jesse at her side.
They reached Bella Creek and drove toward Gram’s house.
Jesse set Mikey on the ground and helped Emily alight. She clung to his arm as they went to the door and stepped into the house.
Muffin nearly turned inside out in excitement at the sight of the little boy, and Mikey fell to his knees and hugged the dog.
Gram came from the sewing room. “What’s all this fuss?”
Emily rushed into Gram’s arms and burst into tears.
Gram led her to the kitchen, leaving Mikey playing with the dog. “Now, tell me what happened.”
Seeing Emily was unable to speak, Jesse explained. “She is no closer to knowing who she is.”
Gram patted Emily’s back. “Both you and Mikey are safe, and that’s what matters. I confess I am very glad you’re back. I was worried about how you’d do if your memory didn’t return.”
Emily swallowed her last sob and stepped away from the warm, welcoming arms. “Thank you, and I’m sorry for being such a baby.”
“Nonsense. I spent a few hours weeping while you were gone. Now, I think we could all use a cup of tea and some cookies.”
Jesse pressed a hand to her shoulder. “You have a home here as long as you need it.”
She sniffed. “I am overwhelmed by your kindness.” It was tempting to forget trying to learn about her past and simply settle down in this town and start over.
But she couldn’t. At any time, her memory could return, or someone would appear who knew who she was, and whatever of good or bad her past held would be revealed.
Unable to dismiss the dark shadow that hovered over her, she shivered.