Chapter 16
That dead coyote hadn’t been an accident.
“If he ever shows up here,” Red told Cassie, “I want you to go into our bedroom and into the tunnel.” If a man would poison an animal, he’d hurt a woman.
He tossed his hat at the peg, not even bothering to check if he’d hung it up, and grabbed her by the wrist. “Let’s find a good hiding place for you. ”
Red didn’t tell Cassie somebody had poisoned his water hole. But maybe he should. He hated to scare her. But if Wade had bothered her when she was married to Griff, then she was scared already and rightly so.
He’d found two dead coyotes and a dead grouse in one of the water holes he’d built. And there were no buts about that. Those animals had been poisoned, and Red could read signs. Wade’s horse’s hooves were around that pond.
He started dragging her into the tunnel, but she pulled hard enough to stop him.
“Red,” Cassie said, “let’s think it over while we’re in town.
Wade won’t come if you’re close by. At least he never did at Griff’s.
And if he does, well, I’ll find a spot to hide.
” Cassie looked over her shoulder at the crevice in the back of the bedroom.
“I’ve explored it, and I could duck into a couple of little nooks.
He’d never find me. We’ll pick out a good spot together when we’re back from town. ”
Red looked from the door to Cassie to the dark slit in their wall that led into the bowels of the earth. Cassie’s plan was full of holes. Wade could find her if he took a lantern from the kitchen or if Cassie made a noise at the wrong time.
She walked over to Red and laid her hand on his chest. “You take good care of me, Red. The tunnel will work if need be. And anyway, you never go off and leave me, not for long. It’s not like it was at Griff’s.”
“You always call it Griff’s.”
“What?”
“Your old home. You call it Griff’s. You call everything Griff’s. Doesn’t it strike you as odd that you say Griff’s carriage, Griff’s horses, Griff’s house?”
“Well, it was all Griff’s. It doesn’t seem so unusual to say that.” Cassie kept looking at the tunnel.
She needed to hear what he was saying. In frustration, he took hold of her elbow and turned her to face him.
Her forehead furrowed, and she tried to answer him again. “It doesn’t mean anything. They were Griff’s, mine, both of ours. What difference does it make what word I use?”
“I think it does make a difference. This is your home, Cass. I don’t want you to say, ‘Red’s house’ or ‘Red’s cow.’ It’s all ours. I want you to think of it that way. I wonder if you really thought of the house you shared with Griff as yours.”
Red could see the protest forming on Cassie’s tongue. Before she could speak, he said, “In a way, since it was all your money, inherited from your ma and pa, that house and everything in it was more yours than his. But you never thought of it that way. Why do you suppose that is?”
“I guess it was because Griff knew just what he wanted, and I didn’t care that much.
He had such a clear idea of how our home should be built, how our furniture should be, how we should dress and conduct ourselves.
He was a fine man to step in and take care of me like he did.
And I…well, I was so grateful to him, taking me…
all young and stupid and clumsy, and helping me grow into a woman who was worthy of him. ”
“Worthy of…” Red almost shouted the words, then he cut them off.
“What is it, Red? I’m grateful to you too. I didn’t mean I still want to be how Griff wanted. I want to be just how you want now. I’m trying to learn your ways.”
Red grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her up to within an inch of his face. A chill of fear flash across Cassie’s face, and it made him sick to think of how she’d learned to fear a man’s anger.
“Red, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
Red watched the huge internal effort she made to keep her feelings from showing on her face.
She battled with herself until a deep, serene expression emerged from the turmoil.
Griff had trained her well. He’d taught her that she could only be loved when she’d achieved that appearance of tranquility that made her look as perfect as a China Doll.
She had hold of her composure now. “I will remember what you said and refer to this house as ours, Red. I can see why you wish it that way. I’ll try to call Griff’s…um, I mean my old house mine from now on. It was just a bad habit to say it the way I did. It won’t happen again.”
“Cass…” Red pulled her roughly into his arms and held her very close.
She began to apologize again. Then she slipped her hand between them and rested her fingers over her mouth. Clearly, she was fully prepared to stand here until he’d said his piece.
Some of his irritation faded as he watched those fingers touch her pink lips. For just a few seconds, he forgot what they were talking about. At last, he tore his gaze away from her mouth. “If you disagree with me, you can say so. I want you to speak your mind.”
“Yes, Red,” she said from behind her fingertips.
“And you don’t always have to say, ‘Yes, Red.’?”
“Yes, Red…I mean, I’m glad to mind you. It’s a woman’s place, after all.”
Red clenched his jaw tight until a shiver of fear passed through her.
He relaxed his hold on her shoulders and rubbed her arms, trying to reassure her that she was safe with him.
No matter what he said, she just agreed so pleasantly, it could turn a man’s head if he wasn’t careful.
But he didn’t want an obedient, frightened China Doll.
He wanted a flesh-and-blood woman. “Ah, Cass, can’t you hear me? ”
“I hear you fine. You just said?—”
“Don’t you get my meaning, though? I don’t want you to ever be afraid to speak up. I—I wouldn’t ever hurt you, Cass. I mean…I’d never raise my hand to you.”
“If you wanted to do that, if I’d done wrong, well, a man has a right?—”
“No man has a right to hit a woman,” Red roared.
She stepped back a pace before she found that blasted composure and stood her ground, obviously awaiting whatever resulted from Red’s anger.
“Stop doing that.” Red grabbed her and shook her again, but not hard, considering how furious he was.
“Doing what, Red? Just tell me what I’m doing wrong and I’ll stop.”
“Stop that. Stop agreeing with me all the time. If I yell at you, it’s because I lose my temper. That’s my sin, not yours. I would never strike you, and if Griff did, then he was wrong. There’s no excuse for a man treating a woman like that.”
Cassie clung to the appearance of serenity.
Red inhaled and took a step back from her.
He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck several times and stared at the floor.
Finally, he looked up at her. “All right, you want to obey me? Then here’s the rule.
I order you to tell me what you’re thinking.
Every time I say something, I want the truth from you, even if the truth is, ‘Red, I think you’re as dumb as a post and as smelly as a polecat.
’ I want you to start telling me what you want.
I want you to say at least once a day, ‘Do it yourself,’ or, ‘Quit bossing me around,’ or, ‘Eat it or throw it out to Harriet, but I’m not making you something else. ’?”
Cassie’s eyes widened at the horrible things Red was ordering her to say. “I could never do that.”
“Oh, so you’re disobeying me, then?” Red crossed his arms and glared at her.
“I thought it was a wife’s place to obey.
And I like a mouthy, rude woman with her own ideas and her own emotions.
I want you to have a coat as prickly as a porcupine and a hide as thick as a buffalo and a spine as solid as the Rocky Mountains.
I don’t want you doing a single thing you don’t want to do.
I can’t be happily married to a woman who doesn’t nag me a little.
All this polite, ‘Yes, Red,’ and ‘Whatever you say, Red,’ is making me crazy.
You work on it, and I’ll tell you when you’re finally doing it enough. ”
She clamped her hand harder over her mouth.
Red grabbed her hand and pulled it away. “You can’t sass me when you’re holding your mouth closed.”
“I…I…” A tiny giggle escaped Cassie’s lips.
The sound eased some of Red’s frustration, but he continued in the same domineering tone. “And I like laughing too. Big, loud belly laughs. I’m an unhappily married man if you don’t laugh every time you take a notion to.”
“You want me to call you a polecat?” Cassie giggled a little louder.
“It’s an order.” Red said it sternly, but he didn’t try to keep the pleasure from shining out of his eyes at her mirth.
“I don’t think I can do it right now—um…call you a…a polecat. I’ll have to work up to it.” Cassie giggled again.
Red smiled at her, then sobered. “I don’t know what things were like between you and Griff, but I’m not like him.
I want a woman to stand beside me, not trail along behind.
That was Griff’s way, but it was wrong. I don’t want you to be afraid of me.
And maybe if you sass me a little, even if I get mad, you’ll see that you can trust me to never hurt you.
I promise it before you and before God. I want you to believe me. ”
The fear returned to Cassie’s expression, but this time, she didn’t seem afraid of him. Maybe she was afraid of the idea that Griff had been wrong to control her so completely.
“Red, if you don’t want to step in and tell me what to do, now that Griff’s gone…” Cassie’s voice grew so weak, he could barely hear her. “Then who is going to?”
The last of Red’s anger died away, replaced with a deep compassion unlike any he’d ever known.
“I reckon you’re a woman grown.” He laid his hand on her belly.
“You’ve got a babe on the way who’s gonna need a ma correcting him and teaching him right from wrong.
I saw you reading Norm’s mortgage note at the bank.
Do you know how few of the men out here can read?
You’re smart, Cass. And God gave you a conscience like anyone else.
You can just take over the job and tell yourself what to do. ”
“I don’t have much practice at that,” she whispered.
“Well, it’s time to start getting some, Cass, honey. Now I have to go do chores and check the herd. We’re gonna be late to town as it is. We can talk on the way, unless you fall over asleep again.”
An obvious war took place within her, fear and excitement battling for control. Not a battle he could fight for her.
Finally, fear overcame the first meager surge of self-rule. She went back to the meek little Cassie he’d wanted to banish. “I’ve been getting better with Buck. Do—do you want me to ride him by myself this time, or will we still ride double?”
Red hesitated, dissatisfied with the results of their talk. But he didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t have time to say it if he did. And he was afraid if he opened his mouth again, he might just blurt out something like, “I’m completely in love with you.”
Finally, he plunked his hat on his head and said, “One hour. And don’t forget what I said about Wade.” He ran like a yellow-bellied coward out the door.
Cassie watched Red go. How different he was from Griff.
She’d controlled herself because Griff had never spared her a punishment thanks to her apologies or tears or pleading.
In fact, his rebukes were more stinging if she carried on.
But in the last year especially, if she could become the China Doll, if she could face him calmly and let him do his scolding until he was finished speaking his mind, he’d often “spare the rod” as he put it.
She’d forgotten for a bit those hard-taught lessons of Griff’s.
If she’d only be a good enough wife, Red would call her sweet names again.
She vowed in her heart to try harder to please him, to learn faster, to take more of the burden from his shoulders.
She had him figured out now. She might even try just a little to sass him once in a while because although she could tell he’d been joking, Red was a man who liked to laugh. And if she did it just right, he’d like a little more show of just the right kind of spirit from her.
And Red respected work. She had to work harder. It was all going to be fine. She was sure of it. She’d keep listening and learning and working hard, and after a time, maybe she could work her way straight into Red’s heart.