9. Sam
9
SAM
She’s not that kind of woman, she said. Not the kind who would kiss a man while loving another. I’ve refused to be a fool again, but with her, cheat on me has been erased off my face. Cass doesn’t sugarcoat anything, she doesn’t talk in superlatives—her vibe is raw and unpretentious. And I believe her.
I smile to myself, watching her talking to her mother on the phone.
So she isn’t married as I’d thought before—or what I had told myself before. In a way, maybe it was an attempt to trick my brain into believing she was, so I didn’t fall in love.
That hurdle is behind me now, and the more I know her, the surer I am that she isn’t just another woman. Not even my dad could say anything upon seeing her. And somehow I didn’t want him to have another glance at her—as if she was too holy for that old man.
What she did to dissolve the clash with my father resonated to my core. A seed of forgiveness. You only have one father. Those words wrenched my heart. Since Jack was gone, I haven’t felt that I had a father—until she reminded me.
I never want to talk about Jack to anyone, yet I’m yearning to tell a soul how much it hurts inside.
“Is Grace okay?” I ask when she comes back to me.
“Yes. She’s asleep, so she should be,” she says, glancing at her watch. “I’ll leave in the morning so I’m there before she wakes up.”
Cass escapes my gaze, seemingly fighting with herself. Unable to decide what she’s going to do to me, she switches her attention to the messes around us.
“I’ll help you clean up.” Her bar manager efficiency puts me to shame. Before I can get anywhere she’s already collecting the scattered glasses around my house.
“No, you leave that to me,” I pull her by the waist while stacks of glasses tower in her grip.
“Not funny, Sam!” she says, trying to keep her balance. “It’s your loss if I drop them.”
I laugh and then comment, “You’ve got unbelievable control.”
“You’re testing me!” she grumbles playfully, getting away from me.
“We’ve got more important things to do.” I catch her from behind as she sets the stacks inside the sink. I wrap my hands around hers, unfurling her fingers so she lets go of the glassware. My cock has woken up again, and this time, without shame I rub it against her ass.
She turns around, releasing a deep sigh as if something is boiling inside her. Her lips travel to my ear as she whispers, “I drove myself here expecting to drop off the kegs and leave.”
I round my arm to pull her closer. “Hmm… am I sensing a hint of regret?”
It’s not a question. I just want to let her know there’s no turning back.
“Maybe,” she teases me. “I didn’t expect to stay, let alone kiss the host.”
My crotch throbs as the word ‘kiss’ vibrates against my lobe. “And I didn’t expect to ever hold you like this, yet I am, and more. I’ve opened up a big part of me to you, Cass.”
I take a moment to mull over my own statement. What does opening up to her really mean?
“Do you regret it?” she turns the question to me.
Apart from my dad and Mark, no one else knew about my ongoing quest to find Jack. Now Cassidy knows, and she knows me too well that she didn’t give me hope nor doubt. That’s honesty and genuine understanding that I haven’t come across in a long time.
“Not one bit,” I rasp. Letting out a deep breath, I tell her with my eyes that it’s a point of no return for me too. And without hesitation, I land a kiss on her neck.
“Samuel Kelleher…” She sucks in air as she grabs my shoulder with grit. As if her clutch isn’t secure enough, she then digs her fingers into me.
“Cassidy Winter…” I respond to her possessive move by nibbling on her firm flesh, suctioning her soft skin into my mouth. She moans erotically, and when a mark starts to form on her neck, I end the kiss with a bite.
“God…” she sighs. She then rolls up my t-shirt, hissing at the sight of my bare abs.
“Liking what you see?”
“Samuel,” she repeats my name, this time sounding like a tiger who’s about to rip me to pieces.
Before she does so, I remind her that I come in peace. I stroke her back while rubbing my torso against her bulging breasts. A tickling sensation makes my abs contract. No pushups or weights are able to make my six-pack hard enough to ignore her nipples. And never mind her top and her bra—those buds poke out, like ripe berries calling for harvest.
My erection nags me to be let out. I don’t want to go there just yet, but Cass seems to have another idea. She sinks into my pressing belly—and further—murmuring, “I have great control when it comes to mugs and glasses. But you…”
On her knees, she undoes my jean’s button and zipper, then shoves all my bottoms down, putting my cock out of its misery. But it’s my exposed ass that she attacks first, kneading and pinching it like it was made for her.
I indulge in her aggression while using the time to reset my impatient cock. But before long, she takes my shaft in between her lips, clamping the tip, and sending me to groan. Her hands are still on my butt cheeks, for a reason—to aid her in sucking my cock deeper.
“Jesus… Cass…” I throw my head back. She is ripping me to pieces and I won’t last long.
Feeling my resistance, she pulls back little by little, then lets my cock go altogether. For a woman on fire, she has patience.
Slowly she crawls back up, while our eyes never stop connecting as if there were a magnetic field between us. This feeling of wanting a woman because of her strength and vulnerability is new to me, and it eclipses all of the romance I’ve experienced.
How did I fall in love before?
I take a moment to answer my own question. Cass is back in my arms, resting her head on my chest.
I fell in love because of a need that no love could ever satisfy.
It was based on an ideal that love would give meaning to my life.
I pinned everything on hope, only to be disappointed.
This time it’s different.
I’m falling for Cass simply because I let myself fall—willingly, trustingly, surely. Love will not fill the void and restore my belief in happiness and joy, but Cass will be the one who pulls me back up every time I falter. I know she will. Whether there’s love between us remains to be seen. But like she said, a seed of forgiveness is in all of us. I can say that a seed of love is in all of us, too. No more hope, no more ideals. With Cass, I simply want to give the seed a chance to grow.
A squeeze on my ass routes my thought back to where we were at. Her gaze is still fixed on me—hungry, wanting.
Her hand is now on my crotch, pumping my cock. She slinks herself down just a bit while sending a seductive gaze my way.
I haul her back up to where she was, face to face with me. “I want to come while I’m inside you,” I murmur, anticipating that she’s going to go down on me again.
She halts her breathing, and then lets me go.
I palm her cheek. “What is it, sweetheart?”
She’s still burning, but something in her is tugging her away from me. Slowly she explains, “It’s been a long time for me, Sam. Maybe not for you…”
“Sshh…” I put a finger on her lips.
It hasn’t been that long since I had someone beside me—a so-called ‘girlfriend.’ But when I look back now, it sounded like a mere status, that I wasn’t alone. What I have now with Cass is a connection—one that’s alive and beautiful.
“It’s been too long for me, too, believe me,” I deliver my confession in a whisper.
“We’re the same, then?” she says and lets her lips stay parted—a cue for me to go ahead.
I kiss her gorgeous lips as I strip her top off. Her breasts are cradled by a lacy bra—but not for long. I unhook it and let it fall. It’s my hands that are supposed to cradle that exquisite pair.
Lightning strikes outside, shining on Cass’ face as I push her to lie down on the side of the sink. The rain is heavy, a warning of the cold night ahead. It’s almost winter here, and I’m with one of the most beautiful Winters I’ve ever seen. Yet, the way we start our affair is like fall, the beginning of something awe-inspiring without the frigidness—the season when leaves give out their most fiery colors.
Cass places her hand on my chin, probing.
I want to love her all the way. But even though she doesn’t seem to mind lying on the bench, surrounded by party messes, I know this woman deserves better. The marble surface is cold and reeking of beer, probably the smell that she would associate with work and unruly crowds, and there’s nothing sexy about it.
“What are you doing?” Cass pants as I pull myself away from her so I can stand up straight.
“I’m taking you to my bed,” I whisper, scooping her up while her legs are still cradling my hips.
I lay her down. I bet she’s the type who likes to be on top, who prefers to claim rather than be claimed. But I’m a man on a mission, and this is the position that I want to be—blanketing her body with as much of me as I can, looking straight into her eyes. Touching her, being inside her—it’s a path to bonding, but it’s our eye contact that will seal it.
“You ok there?” I tease her, partly checking on her. After all, I’m not about to have sex with her, I’m about to make love to her. If she isn’t on board, I won’t push my case.
A smile plasters her face as she slowly opens her legs, letting my hips fall gently on her. “Splendid,” she huffs.
I touch her center. Her soaking sends my own arousal up a notch.
The time is now. I stretch to take out a condom from my bedside drawer. When I come back to her, her head lifts, trying to reach my lips while other parts of her body are pinned beneath mine. As soon as we kiss, I enter her, sending her to writhe wildly. At times she tightens her thighs, other times she tries to resist me.
“Cass…” I sigh out her name as I absorb the immense pleasure swirling inside me.
She looks at me, affirming she has no other agenda but to be with me.
I lower myself, giving her no choice but to stay in place. It’s not domination, because it’s me who’s surrendering to her.
We’re as close as we can be, and I arouse her with the weight of my pelvis, slowly gliding into her depth.
“Sam… Sam…” she gasps as she writhes away from me.
“What is it?” I pull back. If she doesn’t want to do it, I wish she’d told me sooner.
“Sorry,” she murmurs. But her apology isn’t the kind that’s followed by ‘I can’t do this.’ She maintains eye contact, which I welcome as a sign of sincerity. “I’ve never been with anyone since… since my ex-husband.”
“Am I hurting you?”
“No.” Her grimace oozes shame. “I’m close.”
I raise my brows. She’s sorry because she’s close? I cheer her up. “That’s good. Why are you worried?”
“It’s too soon.”
“You don’t want to come yet?”
“No…”
“Okay,” I murmur, keeping my cock away from her and kissing her breasts instead. A short moment later I feel her legs part. Her eyes urge me to start again. This is why I like to be on top when I first make love to someone. I read cues like an open book, and I take pride in my exceptional control—I can give my woman what she wants.
I tease her shallowly, gripping the base of my shaft.
She moans in comfort, smiling as she releases small thrusts of her hips. I deepen my penetration, no more than an inch, and right then she holds her breath.
“Sam… Sam… I’m…”
“Just let it go, Cass.”
She keeps panting while I pause before my next move.
“I want to wait for you,” she insists.
Edging doesn’t work for everyone. A woman’s window of pleasure can be as short as seconds. I would hate for her to forgo her climax just because she’s thinking of me.
I reassure her, “You don’t need to hold out. Just enjoy the moment.”
“How about you?” she pants, squeezing her pelvis desperately.
I toss her a smirk. “I’ll give you another one when I’m close.”
And I move in without giving her a chance to have second thoughts.
She stretches under my glide, her gasps have folded into a glorious scream. Facing her straight on, I observe her lids squeezing out a few tears while her lips move, uttering my name.
I’ve pleased her—nothing is more satisfying. My fallen angel is in her own heaven, and I’m responsible for it. Whether I’ll join her or not, that’s beside the point. She’s in total bliss, I’m not going to disturb her.
Moments later a smile curves on her face. No, she’s not done yet. Perhaps she remembers that I’ve promised to give her another one, which I intend to keep if she’s up for it. But from the look on her face, she’s readying herself to restart the action because of me . She isn’t the type who abandons her partner—she wants me to join her.
Cass caresses my abs and makes her way down, acknowledging my rock-hard erection. She lets me lead the first time, now I’ll leave it up to her.
“How do you want me, sweetheart?” I whisper in her ear.