Chapter 16
Chapter 16
Brooke
“I t always stuns me that I know a real, live, nuclear physicist,” May stated as she sipped her drink.
I laughed as Lake clapped her hands. “Isn’t she brilliant? I mean, she’s a physicist, so I knew she was brilliant, but the way that she can casually just discuss radioactive materials, silicates, and chemical leaching without anyone the wiser just makes me grin.”
“That was for my graduate degree. I don’t work with that branch anymore. At least not in detail.”
The girls went on to ask more questions about physics, and I did my best to answer them. I didn’t do the same type of research I had back in California or even in graduate school. Instead, my research went in a slightly different direction. I wasn’t a rocket scientist like Leif called me at one point, but I was close to it. At least in some aspects.
I ate a bite of my cupcake, then sipped my champagne as the three of us enjoyed our girl time. Luke snuggled into my side and I kissed the top of his head. He might not understand all of the physics explanations I was going into, but he enjoyed being part of the group. And I loved the fact that while I was slowly making friends, Luke was part of everything. He was my everything. I might be finding myself in a serious relationship with Leif, somehow slowly finding my footing at work again, but no matter what, Luke was mine. My everything.
“I want to be a tattoo artist,” Luke said suddenly, and Lake gave me a knowing look.
Luke had been looking at Leif these days as if he were my little boy’s hero, and I was a little worried about that. What happened when Leif left? When things didn’t work out? It was hard to find the balance, and I wasn’t sure I was doing it right.
“Do you want to show us what tattoo you would make? Your crayons are right here,” I said, pointing towards the coffee table where Luke and May had played with coloring books earlier.
“Okay, Mommy,” Luke said as he scrambled down off the couch and knelt in front of the coffee table.
He bit his lip, then tapped his chin with his pointer finger as he studied the crayons, and then reached for a blue one before starting his outline.
“You’re going with blue?” I asked
“I need to sharpen the purple one because purple is what you outline with.” He nodded tightly and then went back to his drawings.
I widened my gaze, trying to think when he would have learned something like that.
“I think I remembered Leif saying that he and Luke had talked about tattoos before when you were making dinner a couple of nights ago,” Lake said, as if she had known where my brain had gone.
I nodded as May and Lake continued to speak, watching Luke draw.
I needed to sit down with my son and have a long conversation about what it meant for Mommy to be dating. He knew that Leif was my friend and was honestly so great with him.
I hadn’t meant to begin a serious relationship before Leif, but this happy accident had turned into something I wanted to trust.
I just needed to learn to trust again.
We had dinner with his family coming up in a couple of days, and Luke was coming, too. It scared me to think that I was taking all these serious steps, but I felt like I was also just getting started. I had known Leif for longer than anyone else in the state. I was friends with his cousins, his family, and him.
And I trusted him.
“You look like you just had a revelation,” Lake whispered as she leaned toward me.
May smiled over at me, winked, then looked down at Luke’s drawing.
“I’m just thinking,” I answered.
“About?” Lake prodded.
I looked over at the other woman as she tugged on her long sleeve. She had her hair piled up on the top of her head and was wearing foundation but no other makeup. It seemed out of place for her since Lake was usually so put together.
“The fact that I’m falling for your cousin,” I whispered, barely more than a breath.
May heard, though, and gave me a thumbs-up as Lake clapped her hands.
“I knew it. I like to think that I had something to do with this, but knowing my cousin, he would always find a way into your life.”
We were being quiet as we watched Luke draw.
“I just have to take things slow. Be careful.”
Lake nodded. “Because you’re a good person, and an even better mom.”
I smiled at her as the doorbell rang and I frowned, wondering who it could be.
I got off the couch, waving May down, as she and Lake went to help Luke with his drawing, each of my friends adding their tattoos to the paper.
I looked through the peephole, and warmth spread through me, my toes curling as I opened the door to see Leif standing there.
He had his hands in his pockets as he rocked back, a serious expression on his face.
I studied his eyes, the darkness in them, and dread filled my stomach even as I told myself I was just reading too much into it.
He opened his mouth to speak and then shook his head as if he were trying to figure out what to say.
Alarmed, I stepped out on the porch, closing the door behind me. “What is it?” I asked.
“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” he said after a minute, shocking me. I pressed my back against the door, my eyes wide. “What? You can’t do what anymore?”
He pulled his hand out of his pocket and gestured between the two of us. “This. It’s not working out. I have to go. You’re safer here.”
“Safer? What the hell are you talking about? Are you breaking up with me out of the blue and not telling me why? What is going on, Leif?”
“It’s over, Brooke. This was nice. But I can’t do this.”
Then he turned on his heel and left. That’s when I realized that he hadn’t even driven here. He’d walked from his place on the other side of the neighborhood, and I just stood there, shaking.
Lake opened the door after what seemed like an hour, or possibly ten minutes, and frowned. “I heard someone shout, but it wasn’t my cousin, right? Why are you standing there? Why are you so pale?”
I turned at her, my eyes widening. “I have to go figure out what the hell just happened.”
“What is wrong, Mommy?” Luke asked and my heart twisted.
I had just told myself that I was trusting Leif. That I was falling for him. And Leif showed up, leaving us, leaving Luke. Well damn it. I was not going to let that happen. No matter what, I would not let him hurt my son.
Or myself.
I moved past Lake to kneel in front of Luke. I pushed his hair away from his face, realizing he needed another haircut, and kissed his forehead. “I need to go talk to a friend. Do you think you can stay with May and Lake for a little bit? You can have another cupcake.”
Yes, I was bribing my son, trying to make him feel better because he could sense the nervousness wafting off me.
“I like cupcakes.” Then he leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose and I nearly burst into tears. “Don’t be sad, Mommy. You’ll fix it. You fix everything.”
I knew my son had no idea what he was talking about, but I wanted to be that strong. To be the protector who could fix things. I just had no idea how I was going to fix this.
“What happened?” Lake asked, concern etched on her features.
I swallowed hard. “I think Leif just broke up with me.” My voice broke, but I refused to cry. I did not have time to break down. I had to fix this and let my anger take over because I would be damned if Leif walked away like this. Not when something else had to be going on.
He had been the one to hold me, to get angry with me over what had happened at work. He had been the one to start this relationship with me when I wasn’t sure I had the time or strength to do so. And yet he could just walk away?
Lake’s eyes widened, and she nearly staggered back.
“Anything you need. We’re here. Something must have happened because I saw the way he looks at you. He loves you.”
My heart stopped for a moment, and everything went cold. “I don’t know about that, but I thought he at least respected me enough to tell me what’s on his mind.”
May was watching us, but she kept her attention on Luke, and for that, I was grateful. They would take care of my son while I figured this out. I trusted them, and I had to believe in that trust. Because if I allowed myself to break down after just thinking I could trust Leif with everything, I was not going to make it for long.
I said goodbye to them, and since I’d had two glasses of wine, I walked toward Leif’s house rather than getting behind the wheel.
It might be after dark, but the streetlights were on and there was a full moon. I would only need a few more minutes outside to make it to his place. I’d always found it comforting that we lived so close, even as I resisted starting a relationship, and yet he had just walked away. From me, from everything.
Damn it. I couldn’t let him do this.
At least not without answers.
I stormed up to his porch and banged on the front door, ringing the doorbell a couple of times for good measure. The light in his living room was on, so he had to be home, even though his car was probably parked in the garage. We’d barely spent any time at his place, mainly because Luke had everything at my place. It was just easier.
Was that the problem? Was it because he felt like I wasn’t taking this serious enough, putting enough effort in?
I swallowed hard, a single notion of worry sliding into anger. Maybe I didn’t put in as much effort as I needed to. He was always the one setting up dates and taking me out when we had time. But the three of us did things together. Although not as much as Leif probably would like. I was taking things slow, trying not to hurt Luke or get his hopes up.
Or rather, my own hopes.
That was the truth. I didn’t want to hurt myself, so maybe I had hurt Leif in the process.
Leif answered the door, his hair disheveled as if he’d been running his hands through it, his eyes wide. I’d only been a few minutes behind him, and yet he looked even worse now than he had on my porch. “Brooke? Why are you here?”
I ignored the knife in my heart at that and pushed past him.
“You better be alone in here and not cheating on me. Because if that’s why you broke up with me, you will have to answer for a lot more.”
Leif’s eyes widened, the hurt on his face slicing into me. But I had to be numb. Had to ignore it. “There is no one else, Brooke. Why would you think that of me?”
“Why else? You broke up with me out of the blue. What else am I supposed to think? What is wrong?” I let out a breath, shaking. “What is wrong , Leif? Because you can’t have had a personality change this drastic in the hours since we last spoke. What happened?”
“Nothing, everything. Brooke. It is better for you if I’m not around. Better for Luke.”
“No, you don’t get to bring up my son after walking away. You invited us to the damn farmers’ market. You wanted us to go out and enjoy it as a family. Like a damn family , and here you are, walking away? You said it wasn’t safe before. What do you mean by that? If you want to break up with me like this, I need answers. It’s what I do for a living. Find answers. So give them to me. Now.”
My voice rose with each sentence as I moved forward, pressing my finger against his chest. “Talk to me.”
“Brooke,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Tell me what’s wrong. Don’t walk away from me. You made me believe in you, Leif. Trust you. Don’t break that trust. Don’t break me.”
Now I was crying, my anger bursting like a bubble as I just wanted to know why.
“It’s to keep you safe,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine.
“I’m going to need a better answer than that.” My hands shook and I stepped back, wiping away my tears as I stared at him. “I deserve better than that, Leif. And so do you. I left my son with Lake and May, and I walked here. I need to know what I did wrong.”
I hadn’t meant to say that, and my voice broke at the words. Leif cursed under his breath and began to pace. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I promise you. I’m just trying to keep you safe.”
I threw my hands in the air. “What do you mean by that? What on earth could I be in danger from? Just tell me. Tell me. I deserve that. You don’t get to make my choices for me.”
“Brooke, Roger threatened you.”
I blinked at him, confused. “Roger?”
“Fuck. I need to start at the beginning.”
“Yes. You do.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. I promise you. I love being with you. I love seeing you and spending time with you. I love spending time with Luke. You coming back into my life the way you did changed everything. I would never take that for granted.”
“You were just going to walk away without a second thought.”
“There were a lot of thoughts, Brooke.”
“Then tell me,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “Tell me.”
Leif met my gaze, the agony in his eyes breaking me. “My birth mom had a lot of boyfriends when I was younger. You know that when she got pregnant, she hid it from my dad, Austin. She said it was because she thought she could be a better mom, that she and my birth dad weren’t too close and so that’s why she did it. And maybe my dad believes that. Or maybe he just hid his anger from losing ten years of my life for me so well. I don’t know because all I remember is that my mom tried her best at the beginning and then quit trying. But when she started doing drugs, started dating men that hated her, and hit her, I had always thought, looking back on it, that she would’ve died from something else if she hadn’t gotten sick.”
I didn’t have any words for this. I couldn’t even imagine putting Luke in the situation Leif had been in, and my heart hurt. “I’m so sorry.”
“I am, too. I know she tried sometimes, but not always. And while I told my therapist this, I didn’t really tell my parents too much about it. I didn’t want them to feel guilty about not being there for the first ten years of my life. And they shouldn’t feel guilty. It wasn’t my dad’s fault that he didn’t know I existed. The moment he knew I existed, he took me in. Sierra was barely even dating Austin at the time and took me in. They are my parents.”
“And how is Roger connected?” I asked, confused, trying to keep up. I wanted to reach out and hold him, but he kept pacing, and I knew he needed space to tell me these things.
“He was my mom’s boyfriend. My mom never married him. He went to jail before my mom died. So he wasn’t even around when I was thrust into the system. They tried to figure out where I would go. I don’t remember a lot of the legal part of that, about how hard my dad fought, or even if the will stated where custody went. I don’t know the legal stuff. But the man my mother was dating before she died was a horrible person. He was in prison for a long time, longer than I ever thought possible, because of what he did while he was behind bars. But now he’s out.”
I looked up and then, my eyes wide. “When did he get out?”
“Right about the time you moved in. When we started to be together, he sent a threatening note. Because he wants money or to scare me like he did when I was a kid.”
“Oh, Leif. I am so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me this?” I asked.
He pushed his hair from his face, and I wanted to hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay. “I didn’t want to worry you. I realize that that’s stupid. The only people that know are Nick and Sebastian. One of the only reasons they even know is because Roger showed up.”
“He showed up? At your house?”
He shook his head. “No, at Montgomery Ink Legacy. That’s also where he sent the note. I don’t think he knows where I live, but now that I’ve talked to the authorities, they are going to keep an eye on him. Roger is out on parole, so they will talk to his parole officer. But there’s no real evidence other than him coming by. I don’t have a restraining order against the man. Why would I?”
“Leif…I am so sorry.”
He moved forward and cupped my face. I wanted to move away, unsure what I felt, but I didn’t. He needed me just as much as I needed him. Maybe that realization told me that he had pushed me away for a reason. But we needed to be better than that.
“He came in today, and he threatened you and Luke. He saw you leaving my place, and he threatened you. I was going to tell you about that so that you could be on alert. The cops will want to talk to you, too. I had this whole speech planned out to tell you, then I saw you, and I heard Luke laughing, and I just needed to end it to keep you safe.”
I push back, my eyes wild. “He threatened my son?”
Leif nodded. “Yes. I’m never going to let him hurt Luke. Or you. I’ll do whatever I can.”
“You were just going to walk away.”
“To protect you.”
I snarled. “That’s idiotic. If he’s going to threaten us, he will do so even if we are no longer together. Nobody hurts my son, Leif.”
“Damn straight. Nobody will hurt you or your son.”
“No one will hurt you either, damn it,” I practically screamed. “Don’t hurt us by walking away.”
“The authorities are going to talk to you tomorrow. I promise you I was going to tell you everything. Only I saw you, and everything went blank. I wanted to keep you safe. So I ran.”
“That’s stupid,” I blurted.
Leif raised his brows. “What?”
“That’s stupid. No, you don’t get to break up with me. I didn’t break up with you, and you acted like the alpha asshole after my attack. We will work through this together because if someone is threatening you, then we need to keep you safe. You will tell the girls and your family about what’s going on, so everybody is safe. Keeping this all bundled up and trying to take care of everything by yourself doesn’t work. No one is going to hurt this family. But you need to tell me when you’re in pain, or when you’re scared. Because I don’t know how to keep us safe if you don’t tell me things.”
He leaned forward and kissed me then, hard and fast, before he stepped away, breathing hard. “Brooke.”
“Tell everyone. But don’t leave me.” I hadn’t meant to say that. I pressed my lips together, annoyed that I’d once again left myself so open. When he nodded tightly and kissed me again, my thoughts began to whirl.
It was hard to think with Leif Montgomery around.
“I just wanted to keep you safe.”
“Then be by my side and do it. Be open. No more secrets.”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you. For acting like an idiot.”
He kissed me again, and I stepped away as my phone buzzed.
“I’m sorry for yelling back at you. One second.”
Lake:
Everything okay?
I looked up at Leif, at the hunger and seriousness in his gaze, and swallowed hard. I needed him. I knew we needed to talk more. But right then? I needed him.
Me:
Yes. Finally. Give me an hour?
Lake:
*smiley emoji* Take your time. We’ve got Luke. And cupcakes.
I laughed, then set my phone on the table beside me.
“Since you scared me, I think it’s time you make it up to me.” Leif’s eyes widened for a minute before he grinned.
“Oh, I think I can do that.”
And then his lips were on me, and I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He gripped my ass, then lifted me. I wrapped my legs around his hips, continuing to kiss him as we thrust against one another. And then he was walking, taking me to the dining room.
“Leif?”
“There is something that I’ve wanted to do for a while now.”
He set me on the dining room table and then slid his hands over my body and then up my chest, caressing my breasts before cupping my face again.
“I will never hurt you again.”
“Just talk to me. That’s all we need.”
“I think I might give you a little more than that,” he said with a wink, and then my shirt was over my head and his lips were on my breasts.
I tried to keep up, tried not to breathe too quickly or to make too many moaning sounds. But it was hard to focus on anything for too long when he was there, touching me, kissing me. Then my bra was off, and he was pulling at my leggings.
Somehow, I was ripping off his clothes, and then we were both naked in his dining room. He knelt in front of me, my legs spread wide.
“Hands on the table, keep your legs spread.”
“Leif.”
“Now, Brooke,” he ordered, and then he was licking me, sucking on my clit, spreading my lower folds. I groaned, riding his face as he continued to suck and lick and eat me out right on the dining table.
He hummed along my clit before he twisted his lips slightly, and I came, my body going tight and then relaxed against his face. He licked, and he sucked, and then he moved back, licking my juices from his lips. His beard was wet, and I wanted to blush, but I couldn’t, not with all the heat and warmth sending shockwaves through my body.
He gripped his cock, slid his thumb over the piercing at the end. Then he thrust into his palm before I finally gathered my strength and slithered down the table to my knees. I gripped his thighs, digging my nails into his skin, and he smiled down at me, sliding his hand through my hair.
“Look at you on your knees in front of me. I like that look.”
I spread my thighs and slid my hand between my legs, sliding over my swollen clit. “I want you.”
“I’m going to come right on those pretty breasts if you keep touching yourself like that.”
I grinned before I took him in one hand and swallowed him whole. He hit the back of my throat and groaned. He tugged on my hair and I swallowed, my throat closing around the tip of his dick.
I continued to play with myself, sliding my fingers in and out of my wet heat as I bobbed along his cock, hollowing my throat as I relaxed, letting him slide down deeper.
He thrust his hips, practically fucking my face as I did the same with my fingers. I knew I was wet, literally dripping on the floor, as he pulled back and then gripped me again. Somehow, I was in his arms, wrapped around him, his cock sliding between my folds and over my stomach as he moved me to the table again. He set my feet on the floor then twisted me, putting my ass in the air as he slid his length between my cheeks.
“I need a condom,” he whispered before pressing a quick kiss to my shoulder and moving to the other side of the room. I kept playing with myself, moaning, before he came back and slid right into me in one thrust.
I could barely breathe, standing on my tiptoes, as he began to work in and out of me, hard, fast, needy.
When he slid his finger along my ass, spreading me, playing with me in a way he hadn’t before, I groaned and moved so he could go deeper.
“That’s my girl. My dirty, dirty girl.”
“Make me come already,” I ordered, my voice low, throaty.
He laughed roughly before he slid his hands over my breasts and then in my hair, pulling me back for a deep kiss that sent me over the edge.
I came over him, shaking, my knees going weak as he came too, holding me close.
Somehow we were both on the floor, wrapped in one another as we continued to move through our orgasms.
I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.
But this was Leif. He was taking care of me, even though was hard and fast, it was what we both needed.
And I made a vow right then and there.
I would never let anyone hurt him.
Not even myself.