Prologue
Prologue
Sebastian
M arley gripped my hand and I held back a wince. She was the one going through a contraction. I shouldn’t show how much her grip hurt. But my word, the strength in her body—I didn’t know how she was handling it.
“Oh, that was a bad one,” Marley said as I reached for the cold cloth to wipe her face. Sweat covered her body, her hair in a frizzy bun on the top of her head, her skin alternating from a blotchy flush to a pale cream. The pregnancy had gone amazingly well. Other than the stress of everything, she did great. And here we were, in labor, about to become parents. I still couldn’t quite believe it, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Because I loved Marley with everything that I had.
“You are doing great,” I whispered, before kissing her brow. She was icy cold, even though her skin was flushed, and I frowned.
“You feeling okay?”
She gave me a look. “I’m about to push a cantaloupe from between my legs. I’m a little nervous, but I’m okay.”
She sort of slurred the words, and I straightened.
I looked over at the nurse, who narrowed her gaze at Marley before she started saying things I couldn’t understand.
“Marley? Marley. Sweetheart? What’s wrong?”
Marley reached out for me, but she couldn’t lift her hand, then her eyes rolled back in her head, and all the machines around her started beeping.
My stomach fell and I swallowed hard, my whole body shaking.
“Sir, you’re going to have to leave the room.”
“What’s going on?”
I couldn’t focus, couldn’t do anything, but people were shoving me out of the room, and words like “cardiac arrest” and “coding” filtered through the haze of my brain.
It didn’t make any sense.
Marley was having a baby. She was in labor and doing wonderful. What the hell was going on?
“Wait, what’s going on? Somebody tell me what’s going on.”
“Sir, go into the waiting room with your family. We’ll come give you an update soon.”
I tried to move past the small woman, but then a large nurse came forward, his muscles practically bulging through his scrubs.
“Mr. Montgomery, you’re going to need to come with me.”
I could still hear the sounds of the monitors blaring and people moving around.
“I need to know what’s happening. That’s my girlfriend in there. She’s having my baby. Our baby. What’s wrong with Marley?”
“Sir. Please come with me.”
I didn’t realize I was screaming, trying to push through, until I was through the double doors and they were calling security.
And then my dad was there. I held back the bile crawling up my throat and I looked at my father, unable to form words.
“What’s going on?” Alex Montgomery asked, looking at me, then over at the nurse.
“You’re going to need to tell your son to calm down, before we can let you know what’s going on.”
“I need to see Marley!” I called out, and then my mom was holding me, and my twin sister Aria took my hand.
The younger twins, Gus and Dara, clung to me as well. Security left us and I just stood there.
“What’s going on?” my mother asked, and I looked into the eyes of Tabby Montgomery and wanted my mom to hold me and never let go.
“I don’t know. Everything started beeping, and she got dizzy, and then they pushed me out. I don’t know what’s going on.”
“I’m going to figure out what it is,” Marley’s dad said, rage on his face. He stormed towards the front desk as I just tried not to throw up.
“I have power of attorney. We’re not married yet. We made sure I had power of attorney. I’m her contact. Her next of kin. The baby’s next of kin. Right? Is that how it works?”
My family knew all of this, but I couldn’t stop rambling.
My dad gave me a look. “Okay. Sit down, we’re going to get you some water, and we’re going to wait. We’re just going to wait and see what they have to say.”
He shared a look with my mom, one I couldn’t read, one that made me want to throw up. Because the look of concern and worry sliding through his gaze, even though he tried to hide it, told me that this was bad.
So fucking bad.
Marley’s father stomped away from the front desk and went straight to his wife. Marley’s mom looked at me with broken eyes before she sat down and closed her eyes, her hands clasped in front of her.
My cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents all wanted to be here to welcome my child into the world. To be here for Marley and me, but the waiting room was small, and only one person was allowed in the room at a time.
It had been a fight for me to be in there versus Marley’s mother.
But Marley wanted me there, and we had the paperwork to prove it.
Everything about this pregnancy had been a fight.
But not Marley. She had been perfect.
“I need her to be okay, Dad.”
My dad gripped the back of my neck and pressed his forehead to mine.
“You can do this. We’re here. Right here.”
He didn’t tell me she would be okay.
Because my dad didn’t lie to me. He had his own reasons for never lying, not to even blunt the truth a bit to calm somebody.
I needed my dad to lie to me right then.
It felt like an hour, four, I didn’t know, but there were no updates. I just sat there, refusing to sit, as my family took turns standing with me, telling me that they were there for me. We Montgomerys stuck together.
I didn’t realize that tears were sliding down my cheeks until later.
Finally, the door opened, and I looked up at Marley’s doctor, the man who had been with us when we realized we were going to be teenage parents. Adults in the eyes of the law and in our own, but not according to some of the world.
I saw the grayness on his face and I didn’t want him to speak. I wanted him to walk back in there and never tell us.
Silence engulfed the room, a single pin dropping would create a cacophony of sound, changing my world forever.
“Mr. Montgomery.”
“What about my daughter?” Marley’s dad snapped, and the doctor looked at him, then back at me, because he knew all of the issues with Marley’s parents. And knew that while I had power of attorney, they were still Marley’s parents. This should have been a time of celebration and stress and happiness.
But I didn’t want the doctor to speak. I couldn’t.
“Mr. Montgomery. Marley went into cardiac arrest. I’m so sorry, but she’s dead.”
He continued to say something about a placental abruption, about the taxing on her heart that they hadn’t realized in time. Most likely a genetic defect that we would talk about later.
Marley was eighteen, almost nineteen.
How did an eighteen-year-old have a heart attack?
Later I would remember the screaming. That Marley’s mother fell down and nurses ran to her.
Later I would remember Marley’s father screaming in my face, shoving me, and my brother and father pushing the man back, telling him to shut it down.
I would remember my mother and twin sister holding me as my baby sister began to pace, texting the family group chat, so they all knew what was going on.
In the moment, I didn’t know anything other than Marley was gone, but that wasn’t the end of it.
I moved a step towards the doctor, ignoring the racket behind me.
“The baby?” I croaked. “Did we lose the baby?”
Had I lost my family?
Everyone went silent.
Marley was gone. How the hell had that happened? But I needed to know about the baby.
“Mr. Montgomery, your daughter is fine. She’s being seen to now. Come with me.”
Marley’s parents began shouting again, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw my own parents holding them back. I didn’t know what would happen or what we needed to do.
I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.
My daughter.
We hadn’t known the sex of the baby, had wanted it to be a surprise.
We had wanted today of all days to be joyous.
Not this surprise. Never this surprise.
I kept moving as I saw Leif, Nick, and Lake run into the waiting room behind me, out of breath, their eyes wide. Everyone started speaking at once, but I followed the doctor, leaving them all behind.
I didn’t remember what happened next, didn’t remember the route through the hallway, beyond seeing a few glances from nurses and that pitying look that made me want to vomit.
I couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t taste, couldn’t do anything.
All I remembered was suddenly I was in a gown, wearing gloves, hands open, arms outstretched, waiting.
The nurse came forward, a small bundle in a cream blanket in her arms, a tiny little pink hat on the baby’s head.
“Mr. Montgomery, here’s your daughter.” She whispered a few other things about passing all her tests and that the baby was healthy. About her weight and her length and the time of birth. I knew there would be paperwork later, a birth certificate to sign. All the little things that Marley and I had researched.
But what was I supposed to do now?
The nurse slid the baby into my arms, and my knees went weak. They gently settled me into a chair. I might have said thank you.
I looked down at my daughter, our daughter, and tried to contemplate what life would be, what this moment meant.
Broken didn’t begin to describe it. I was just shattered remains of who I should have been.
Our plans had been destroyed. Our path and promises to each other had been shattered.
Marley was gone. Dead. What did that word even mean?
I was nineteen years old. I wasn’t supposed to be here alone.
Then I looked down at the scrunched-up little face in my hands, at the tiny little fingers that didn’t even seem real.
And I knew, I knew that I didn’t have time to be selfish. Didn’t have time to wonder why.
I didn’t have time.
“Hi, Nora,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “I’m your daddy. I’ll be here. We’ve got this.”
I broke down, holding my daughter, the tears flowing, and knew the world had changed.
My world had changed.
Forever.