Chapter One
O h, no. No! No, no , no, no, no! I screamed down the bond—pure and unadulterated panic overwhelming me. “ Help! Edric, help me!”
Nothing.
Not one word or a stir came back. Not even a stray passing thought. Was he asleep? Was he still passed out from Badr’s hit? Was he... ignoring me?
Choking, chilling horror froze my veins. Was this it? Was this how Edric decided to solve the me problem? Someone else went through the trouble of killing me, so why not look the other way... and let them?
No! I cried, slicing that horrible thought off at the knees. Edric was an irritating, rule-twisting hypocrite, but he wasn’t a monster. I’d seen deep enough into his mind to know that. He’d never abandon me to die a slow, dark death, and neither would his wolf. If he wasn’t responding, it meant he couldn’t hear me—
—and I was screwed.
No, another voice shouted at me. You’re not going to die here. You’re not abandoning Hope to the horrifying future in store for Wolf Nation. Get up, and get out of here!
I repeated those words to myself, over and over, sounding the battle cry that propelled me up even as tears flowed hot and free down my face. Cold and dark—that’s what I remember most of when I lost Mom.
She was already sick and dying when vampires busted through the door and came for me. We ran but Mom was slow. Weak. She screamed at my father not to stop and to get me to safety no matter what.
He did so. Throwing me over his shoulder, he sprinted upstairs and tossed me in the safe room, shutting me inside before I knew what was happening. But he didn’t come in with me. Of course he didn’t, he went back down to help Mom.
Dad didn’t turn on the lights before he shut me in, and I couldn’t find them in the dark. So there I sat in the chilly blackness, crying and praying to Luame that my parents would come back for me... and only one did.
But that’s not happening to Hope! Her mother is coming back for her, so get up. GET UP!
Phasing through the crushing dirt, I got my feet solid and firm beneath me.
I had no illusions. The only reason I was still alive was because of my wolf healing, but that wouldn’t save me forever. The vicious ache in my head was a backdrop to my fear. My feet felt like they were being crushed by two anvils. And it was dark.
So very, very dark.
Think, my internal voice called through the pain. You can get out of this, you just have to think!
Sluggish, groaning brain cells struggled to come together and form a coherent plan. I was on my feet, but now what? There was nowhere to go!
“Reach,” I rasped. If I couldn’t go forward, maybe I could go up.
Stretching my arms as high as they’d go, I reached with the vague notion of finding the surface and pulling my way up. It was possible that could work, and I needed possible.
Stretching, reaching, groaning, crying—I felt for the barest brush of air on my fingertips.
Nothing.
Desperate, I grabbed fistfuls of dirt—trying to heave myself up that way—but the loose dirt shifted and crumbled in my grasp—giving me no purchase.
“Help!” I screamed, white-hot terror taking over. I swiped and flailed uselessly through the dirt. “Oh gods, help me! Help!
“Heeelllllppppp—!” My fingers caught on something soft and warm.
Is that—? Can it be —?
It closed over me, holding me tight. A hand.
Hope lodged in my heart. Someone was there. Who? How? Was it Edric? Had he woken up and found me? Did Badr’s wolf force him to come back and save me?
I felt the dirt shifting and moving. Cool air washed over my fingers, then my palms, then my forearms. The phantom hands clasped mine and pulled. Without word or instruction, I knew what to do.
I phased, leaving only my hands solid, and they heaved me out of the dirt—tugging me free and whole into the moonlight.
“Holy shit!” Nyx cried, his handsome self even more disheveled now that he was covered in dirt. He tumbled back, bringing me down on top of him. “What were you doing in there? Did someone do this? Are you...?” Nyx quieted down as my tears reached his ears.
Clinging to him, I buried my face in his chest, and sobbed my heart out.
“Whoa, whoa,” he whispered, rubbing my back. “It’s okay. You’re safe now.”
They were sweet words. They were true words. And still, my tears wouldn’t stop. Was I crying because of the trauma of losing Mom? Was I crying because my fated mate rejected me in the most horrific way by trying to outright murder me? Was I crying because my too-short time with my daughter almost ended with me slowly wasting away in the ground? Or was I crying because every day without Castor was so fucking hard! And time only made it harder.
I was crying for all of it, or I was crying for none of it. It didn’t matter, because either way, I couldn’t stop.
I held Nyx tighter—expecting him to push me away, call me out for being the bitch who ruined his life, and gloat in my face for finally getting the dose of revenge I deserved.
Nyx did none of that. Instead, his arms slid around me, and held me close. “It’s okay, Daze. You’re safe now. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I don’t know how long we lay there on the disturbed dirt, me bawling like a baby and Nyx whispering sweet, soothing nothings in my ear, but a sharp spike of pain suddenly went through my skull—bringing the moment to an end.
Groaning, I sat up, clutching my head.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I felt two fingers under my chin try to raise me up. “Are you okay?”
My response was to tip over and vomit in the grass.
“Not okay.” Nyx got to his feet and I flashed out, grabbing his arm.
“No,” I cried.
“Don’t worry.” Bending over, he scooped me into his arms. “I’ve got you.”
My stubborn badass side might’ve said something about me not being some weakling who needed to be carried around like a newborn kitten. My lips parted to say just that when a dizzy spell struck me down, making my head loll against his arm. I told that side to shut up before Nyx inevitably did.
“H... How?” I rasped.
“I was out for a run,” Nyx replied, not needing me to expound. “My wolf isn’t afraid of much, but he is afraid of—of my father. I thought a run would help us get the nerves out until we heard the sounds of a shovel... and our mate screaming.”
My throat tightened.
“My wolf went wild tracking your scent and trying to find you. We finally stumbled on a mound of loose dirt and— Well, you know the rest.”
“When...” I squeezed my lids shut. There wasn’t much moonlight coming through the trees and it was still stabbing my eyes. “When you heard him... burying me... What else did you hear?”
“Enough.”
I swallowed hard, shaking from more than the pain.
“Why didn’t you just tell us, Daciana?” Accusation slipped into his voice. “Why the games? Why the secrets? Why the lies? Maybe you have to be at war with the rest of the world, but you never had to be at war with us?”
No response came.
“Daciana, are you listening? Daze...”
Darkness claimed me, carrying me to a world with no pain.
***
“...S URE THIS WILL WORK ...”
Soft, downy fingers cradled me, gently guiding me back from beyond.
“...hasn’t woken up yet...”
“Give it a minute, sweetheart, and then take some yourself. Are you okay, baby? You look terrible. No wonder your mate rejected you. Women aren’t attracted to that homeless look, sweet pup.”
“There’s that motherly love everyone told me about,” a wry voice replied. “Great to see what I’ve been missing.”
The other person laughed heartily, pulling me further from sleep.
I blinked awake, gazing up at the ceiling as I slowly took stock of myself. The pain in my head... was gone.
No ache. No agony. No feeling like my very thoughts were falling out of a hole in my head, or that a thick metal spike was making that hole. Only a faint and bearable throbbing behind my eyes proved there ever was a pain.
Rising up, I probed deeper, poking through the warm, sacred place within my soul where my wolf lived.
She snarled, snapping at me for waking her up, and I retreated with a snort. Oh yeah, she’s fine.
I rose up on my elbows, finding myself lying in an infirmary bed loaded down with blankets. On the other side of the room, Nyx sat at a small table covered with herbs and vials and a still steaming pot of something that smelled vile. But he wasn’t paying attention to any of it. He was too busy talking to someone on video chat.
I cleared my throat.
Nyx snapped up. He turned to me and did something I never would’ve expected in a hundred years.
He smiled. “Mom, she’s up. She’s okay.”
“Wonderful news.”
“I gotta go. I’ll call you back.” Ending the call, he rushed over to me, dropping down beside me on the bed. “Are you all right? How do you feel?”
I goggled at him like he was crazy. “Am I alright? How do I feel?” I repeated. “Did you get hit with a shovel too? What is with all this care and concern?”
He snorted, rolling his eyes. “Why wouldn’t I be caring and concerned? Trust me, the air is clear between us, Daze. Now that I know everything.”
I stiffened. Nyx heard what I said to Badr while he was in the process of murdering me. I’d forgotten that little tidbit.
“Why did you call your mom?” Apprehension gripped me. “Did you tell her what I said?”
Nyx shook his head, surprising me. “I called her to save your life. The academy nurse mysteriously died.” He flashed me a knowing look. “So I needed Mom to walk me through making the medicine you needed. She’s a healer.”
I nodded, accepting that. “What was in that medicine? How did she know it would work? Has this happened to other wolves before?”
“Yes.” Nyx picked my water jug off my nightstand and poured me a glass. “There’s a reason fates separate to let their bonds degrade instead of blowing it up like you did. One is letting an ice cube gently melt in your mouth. The other is crunching it and breaking your tooth.
“Mom said she’s come across wolves that weren’t ones for patience and blew up the bonds instead. Almost all of them died.”
“Died?!” I blurted, shooting up. “I didn’t know that. Why did no one ever say that could happen!”
“Plenty of fucking people told you never to swear on Luame. This is on you.”
Growling, I took that damn water and dumped it right on his lap. “Asshole!”
Inexplicably, Nyx laughed. Cool as ever, he plucked the blanket off the adjacent bed and wiped his lap. “All right, fair enough. Now isn’t the time for I told you so. ”
“What does this mean for me?” I demanded. “Am I okay now? Did you give me the medicine in time?”
Meeting my eyes, Nyx shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? What do you mean you don’t know? Does your mom know?” I craned my head, looking where he left his phone. “Let me talk to her. Let me—”
“There’s no point.” Nyx grasped my shoulders, gently guiding me back onto the pillows. “What I gave you was for the pain, and only for the pain. You’ll be able to function now, but as for whether or not you’ll live, that’s up to Luame. She’s the one punishing you for rejecting your fated mate. Only she can decide to spare you.”
“Well, she will,” I cried. “She has to. She knows what I have to do and how important it is. She won’t stop me because I rejected that great thumping jackass.”
He shrugged. “She might.”
I bit my tongue, wanting to snap at him, but I couldn’t. Nyx was right. Luame just might. “What am I supposed to do?”
“Isn’t it obvious? Take the great thumping jackass back.”
My eyes bugged, then narrowed to slits. “Oh, I see what this is.”
“What?”
“You’re working with Paxton. You’re trying to trick me into making him special and important again, but it’s not going to work!” His brow arched at the shout. “Let me talk to your supposed mommy—if that was even her. Let’s see what she has to say about this cure. ”
“Sure,” Nyx replied, giving me another shrug. “You can talk to my mother—”
“Good. And if anything she says is different from what you’ve said—”
“—after you talk to me.”
My jaw snapped shut, because it was clenched.
“No, Volana, you don’t get to do that. You know that I know. I heard everything and we need to talk about it. This affects me too. It affects all of Wolf Nation! Why didn’t you tell us all from the beginning?”
I sniffed. Flipping over on my side, I gave Nyx my back. “I think you’re forgetting that except for Castor, you guys were all complete strangers to me before that night. You expected me to trust you with my deepest, darkest, most dangerous secret? The secret that got my boyfriend killed. The secret that ruined my life and will destroy my future if I don’t stop it. The secret that puts my daughter in danger beyond your wildest nightmares.
“I was supposed to share that secret with five randoms because why? You’ve got cute smiles?” I snorted. “Please, spare me your unrealistic, hypocritical expectations. That night, after what I did to Castor, I had to get away fast. There wasn’t time to stop for a chat.”
“But afterwards,” he protested, not letting it go. “You were running all over the dominions for an entire year, telling everyone else your plans for world domination while we rotted in that suburb like a bunch of clueless jerks. Would it have killed you to drop by at any point in the last twelve months and tell us what was going on?” He rounded the bed, kneeling down to meet my eyes. “Tell us that the alpha council has gone fucking mad and are about to kick off a genocidal campaign that would make that mundane monster Hitler blush!”
“I told you, I couldn’t. I couldn’t risk the truth of what I was doing getting out before I was ready.” I tossed over again, facing away. “One of you could’ve done something stupid like trying to reason with the alpha council, or build up an army to oppose them.”
“Why would building an army be stupid? It’s what you did.”
“Yes, quietly and carefully, ” I gritted. “I only approached people that I was sure—one thousand percent sure—would join my side and not tell a soul what we were planning. Sorry if this hurts to hear, Nyxxy baby, but you’re not one of those people. I had no idea how you’d react, or who you would tell, if you discovered there’s a shadow in our midst plotting to kick off a war, drain you of sperm, slit your throat, and then sell our children’s souls to the highest bidder.
“That’s the kind of thing that propels you to action,” I bit out, “and I speak from experience.”
“But you—”
“I couldn’t take the chance, Nyx!” I bolted up, rounding on him. “Not with Hope’s life.”
He quieted, understanding dawning. “Hope,” he whispered, driving the stake deeper into my chest. “So it’s true. We really have a daughter.”
Again it did funny things to my heart to hear him already claim my baby as his. “Yes,” I said softly. There was no reason to lie. We were way past that now. “Her name is Hope Volana. Castor didn’t want the baby to have his father’s last name, and I agreed with that absolutely.”
Nyx hummed, head bobbing. “Did you also agree to leave our baby with a leech?”
I sighed. “Here we go.”
“What were you thinking, woman! Vampires can’t stand us and our tainted blood. Who knows what that dead worm is doing to her? We have to get her back now!”
I listened with more patience than anyone would’ve expected of me. Honestly, I didn’t blame Nyx for his reaction. His wolf just found out he had a pup, and the only creatures who came close to mother wolves in how fiercely protective they were of their pups, were the fathers.
“Nyx, we can’t bring her into the middle of this,” I said, not unkindly. “We don’t know who the shadow is. They could be anyone and anywhere. They could be you .”
He scowled. “It’s not fucking me.”
“But you get my point. Until I find and kill that bitch, my daughter is not setting foot or paw in Wolf Nation.”
“But you said this shadow person infiltrates the vampire dominion and kills their kings.”
Damn it, Nyx really did hear everything. Curse our wolf hearing.
“If they can get to people as well protected as a vamp king, how is Hope any safer there?”
“That’s a good question,” I replied, inclining my head. “The fact is she’s safer because Incepe Din is not only separate from the other vampire territories, but it’s locked down tight. No one goes in or out unless they’re safe, and Lucia makes sure of it. You don’t even want to know what she put me through to prove myself,” I muttered. “But I did and... I trust her with Hope. She’s safe.”
Nyx tossed his head, blowing out a breath. “Look, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to give me more than that. How can a wolf-hating leech be safer than her family? If the worst happens and the shadow tracks Hope down, that leech will just cut and run.”
“She won’t.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because she won’t have to. The shadow is a soul stealer, Nyx, and guess what Lucia doesn’t have...?”
He halted, hauling his arguments back in. “Ah.”
“Yeah, ah,” I tossed back. “If the shadow wants to go up against Lucia, they’ll have to do it without their freaky, evil powers, and believe me, Lucia is no easy target. Plus—” I didn’t want to, but I forced the rest out. “Lucia loves Hope. If it’s a fight to the death to protect my baby, she’ll make that sacrifice without a second thought. That’s the kind of protection I need around her right now, and that’s what she’s got.”
Nyx looked at me crazy throughout my whole speech. “Why in the name of the gods would that leech love our daughter?”
“Because when that piece-of-shit vampire turned her... she was pregnant.”
Nyx’s jaw fell, but nothing came out.
I looked away, feeling the sympathy for Lucia that she hated to see in anyone’s eyes. “She had everything. A home, a family, love. She was bursting with happiness at the coming arrival of her first child, and then that monster came out of the dark.”
“But... but vampires don’t turn pregnant women,” he said, horror darkening his face. “Even they have limits. What the fuck was wrong with this guy?”
“Everything, Nyx. Everything was wrong with that guy. He’d been stalking her from afar for months. He was obsessed. When he saw his chance, he took it—not caring in the slightest that he broke every law written and unwritten.”
“Is... the baby...?” He trailed off, but I knew what he was asking.
“The baby was turned too,” I confessed. “Lucia has been carrying her daughter for hundreds of years. She’ll forever carry her, because she’ll never be born. She can’t be,” I whispered, shaking my head. “She can’t grow. She can’t change. She’s forever trapped in time like Lucia will forever be trapped.”
“Wow. This Lucia must be... insane.”
I think Nyx tried to think of another word and couldn’t, because insane was the right one. A monster stole her family, her life, the man she loved, and her daughter’s future. Of course she went insane.
I did too.
“Okay, I get it,” he sighed. “This Lucia, vampire or not, would never hurt a baby.”
“She wouldn’t,” I said firmly. “But more than that, she’s loving having a baby girl that she can finally shower with love and attention. The bitch has told me multiple times that she can’t wait for me to die, so she can adopt Hope properly. Seriously,” I deadpanned, “she’s said it so many times, it’s no longer a joke.”
“It is a joke if she thinks we’re going to let you die, or her keep our baby. We’ll get Hope back,” Nyx said, wolf eyes shining bright and golden. “Once we finish this.”
“We?” I said carefully.
“You’ve made it very clear that this is our fight, not just yours. You think I’m going to sit around waiting for Badr’s son-of-a-bitch father to steal my sperm, then slit my throat? No, thanks.”
“But you were leaving. You expelled yourself, and then tucked your tail between your legs—all set to mope and cry your way to Europe—”
“You’re a real ass sometimes, you know that?”
“Why stay to fight a war that’s going to get brutal and bloody fast?” I pressed. “Why stay when you don’t know if anything I said is true? I could be lying to justify taking over Wolf Nation. It’s not like anyone can prove a future that doesn’t happen.”
His gaze was steady. “Does Hope have all the powers you claim she has?”
It took a beat, but I nodded.
“Then I believe you, Daciana, because I don’t doubt for a single second that men like my father would pay any amount to have those powers. No matter who they hurt to get it.”
“But you don’t know my plan,” I argued. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t accept that Nyx was taking this so well. The last guy I told buried me alive. The guy before that called me a madwoman and swore to protect Wolf Nation from me just as much as he was going to protect them from the alpha council and the shadow. “When Edric heard it, he went full wimpy bitch. He thinks I have to be stopped at any cost. Do you think that, Nyx?” I whispered, eyes piercing him through. “Do you want to stop me?”
“Depends,” he replied, cool as ever. “I’d have to hear this plan first.”
“Hmm.” I fell back on the pillows, noticing for the first time that I was clean. There wasn’t a trace of dirt on me. He gave me a sponge bath. “Pervert.”
He jerked back. “What? Where the hell did that come from?”
I smirked. “You know.”
Nyx couldn’t have looked more confused if he tried. “You— I— Whatever,” he burst out. “Stop trying to distract me and answer my question. What is your plan to stop this Project Destiny shit?”
“You answer me first. Are you still going to run off to Europe?”
“No.” Nyx rose up to pour me another glass of water and hand it to me. “I was only going to Europe because Mom’s there. She lives in Siena. Father got full custody after the divorce because he’s an alpha. Mom fought for us but it did her no good. He commanded her away and that was that.”
A trickle of sympathy worked its way through my dislike. A clearer picture was forming of Nyx’s father, and it was a hideous one.
“Now that we’re both free of him, we’ve reconnected. She told me I can join her in Italy and her clan would welcome me at any time, but you’re right, that would be running away.” Nyx faced away from me, only granting me the side view of his shadowed face. “When I was running through the woods searching for you, following the trail of your voice and the horrible things you’ve been through, I suddenly had this... this...” Nyx looked down, gazing at his growing claws. “Certainty.”
“A certainty?” I whispered, matching his lowered tone. “What do you mean?”
“They say Luame doesn’t speak to us or send visions anymore, and she didn’t to me either, but still, as I ran to you... as I listened to you... I suddenly understood what she wanted of me. What she demanded of me.”
I leaned in, brows crumpling. “Nyx, what are you saying?”
“It all makes sense now, Daze,” he murmured to the wall, his eyes out of focus. “Why she chose me to be your mate. Why she needs me to protect you, help you, and believe you.”
“Why?”
“The seven of us—you, me, Castor, Badr, Paxton, Orion, Edric—we’ve been bonded for a lot longer than a year. We were always going to end up together. We were meant to fight this fight.”
“Nyx,” I cried. “What are you talking about? Why are you saying this?”
“The shadow, Daze. The one you spoke about. He’s no shadow at all. He’s very, very real, and I met him... the day he tried to kill me.”