Chapter 15 - Torrin
Tim – Hey, you guys are staying with Atlas’s sister, right?
Torrin – Yeah, why?
Tim – I’m at the Batting Cage bar. Your girl’s here and she’s a mess. You should get down here.
Torrin – OMW
I work my way through the crowd at the bar, waving to a few people who call out greetings, but my head is constantly swiveling, on the lookout for her. It’s been almost a month since the accident and as far as I know, this is the first time Luna has left the house.
The farm team I was signed with has been incredibly accommodating by letting me delay my contract to stay here after what happened.
I know it won’t last though, and I'll need to make a decision on my future very soon. I don't want to leave Luna but I’ve been dreaming of playing pro ball for years. It was a dream my mom encouraged in me, even though it went against my father’s wishes.
He’s career military and a real bastard that I no longer speak to.
I take another look around, trying to find her.
I’m surprised this would be the place she would go for her first outing since the funerals but when I spot her, understanding takes over.
She's over by the jukebox and by the look of her, she’s out of her head drunk.
She’s dancing alone in her black work boots with a drink in her hand, the contents spilling every time she moves.
Her grey babydoll dress sways against the top of her thighs, showing an inch of creamy skin between the hem and the black thigh-high socks she wears.
Her head is down with her cinnamon-colored wavy hair covering half her face.
I reach her just as she staggers to the side and grasp her elbow to steady her. The light green eyes that lift to meet mine are so filled with pain that it takes my breath away. Her lips lift in a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes as she leans into me.
“Hey, Ballboy. What are you doing here? Want a drink? I have a few over there.”
She gestures toward a high-top table full of empty shot glasses and a couple of full cocktail ones, causing more of the drink in her hand to spill over the edge.
I reach out and gently take it from her hand while guiding her to the table and set it down.
Luna turns into me and tosses her arms up and around my neck and sags against me.
“Wanna dance with me, Tor? I used to love to dance. The last time I danced… I thought it was going to be the start of something amazing. Turns out… nope.” Her voice is sad and wistful.
I slide my arm around her waist to anchor her against me and drop a kiss on top of her head. My heart aches for her.
“I’ll always dance with you, love, but why don’t we go somewhere else to do it? Somewhere less crowded?”
Her head drops against my chest and she rubs it against me in a nod, so I lift a hand to a nearby waitress and hand her enough money to cover Luna’s tab.
She stays pressed against me as I guide her through the crowd and out into the parking lot to my car.
When I reach to open the car door, she spins away from me and dances to the front of the car, humming a familiar tune that I can't quite place.
She sways to the song and tilts her head back to stare up at the dark sky.
Her boots scuff the pavement, causing her to stumble against the hood of the car, and she huffs out a small laugh before hopping up onto it.
I move to stand in front of her with a frown. “We should get you home, love.”
Her broken gaze meets mine and one side of her mouth quirks up.
“Love. It’s nice that you call me that. Even if it doesn’t mean anything. All the people who loved me are dead. They took all the love with them when they left me here all alone.”
I step between her legs and pull her against me, fighting off the tears that want to form at her broken words.
I know this feeling so well. After my mom died, I felt the same way.
Add to that the rage of my father’s hand in her death, and I could barely function.
Losing her parents hit me almost as hard.
I miss them every day, but right now my own grief needs to take a backseat to hers.
“You’re not alone, Luna. You have us. Gigi. You have me. We all love you.”
Her eyes are empty as she shakes her head. “I can’t feel that. I can’t feel anything, Tor.” She slides her arms around my neck, her lips an inch from mine as she whispers, “I just want to feel something. Please, Tor, make me feel something?”
Her lips slide against mine before I have a chance to process what she’s asking for but my hands know what to do as they slide up her thighs and around her hips to pull her body tighter against mine.
Her fingers sink into my hair and pull as she runs her sweet tongue over my lips, begging for me to open for her.
My heart takes over any thought of pulling away, even as my head knows this isn’t right.
She’s drunk and in so much pain, but I know this pain too - and for a brief moment I want to forget as well.
I run my hand up her back and cup her head tightly.
My lips part and slant over hers again and again, deepening the kiss as our tongues slide against each other.
I lose myself in her sweetness and groan when her hips lift to grind against my dick, searching for…
“Get a room!” Rings out into the night as a group spills out of the bar behind us, laughing and cat-calling.
I pull my mouth from hers as guilt floods into me and stare down into her hazy green eyes.
Her little pink tongue licks against her bottom lip and my cock throbs, but I try to step back from her.
Her hands in my hair tighten and her eyes fill with even more shadows.
“No, please, I need more,” she begs.
I suck in a breath of cool night air and pull her against my chest in a tight hug.
“I… I can’t, love. It wouldn’t be right. I’m sorry, Luna. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I’m sorry for not being able to give her what she needs.
Sorry for this cruel world that has taken so much from her, from all of us.
I hold her like that until her fingers loosen from my hair and she goes limp against me.
I lift her from the hood and gently get her buckled into the passenger seat.
I can’t give her what she wants tonight, and she is so drunk I don't know if she'll remember this, but I will. That sweet, pain-filled kiss will haunt me with all the dreams of what could have been if we weren’t all so broken.
I carry her into the house and lay her on her bed.
Reid comes in and helps me untie and remove her boots and then crawls up beside her to gather her sleeping body into his arms. I pull a blanket over both of them and settle into a chair beside the bed.
I can’t give her what she needs but I can stay here so that maybe we can both feel a little less alone.