Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Emmalyn felt more impatient than usual as the clock ticked toward two thirty on Friday afternoon. She usually enjoyed working in the library after her kindergarten class went home, but today she felt restless. Since she'd promised her aunt she'd go with her to the farmers' market on Sunday, she'd been swamped by second thoughts and also memories of the past.
She'd locked most of those memories away a long time ago. She'd compartmentalized her life into three different eras: the first five years of her life, which she barely remembered, the next seven years of living at the commune, which her mom had sold to her as fun times on a farm, and the last sixteen years of her life when she'd become her own person, when she'd tried to forget everything and everyone from her first two eras, including the one person who had hurt her the most—her mother.
While she'd always hoped to get her mom back, the biggest disappointment had come when she was twenty-one, when she'd thought she could talk her mother into breaking away, choosing her blood family over the cult, but her mother had hesitated, then bolted, opting once again to return to Haven. Since then, her mother had been dead to her. She honestly didn't know how her aunt had the energy or the will to keep trying to communicate with her mother, because she'd given up.
But now, she was being coerced into trying again. While she told herself it was for her aunt and not for her mother, she was still dreading the whole thing, and she was afraid her entire weekend would be consumed with worry and anxiety. She didn't want that. So, she needed to put everything back in its compartment and lock it away until Sunday morning. It wouldn't be easy, but maybe she could find some distractions to make the time pass.
Going out for ice cream with Hunter and Olivia would help…or maybe not.
Hunter Kane was a complicated man with a lot of baggage. He was also devastatingly attractive, especially when he forgot how angry he was at the world and smiled. Then it was like a brilliant ray of sun coming out after a terrible storm, and it was so wonderful to see that smile on his face that it made her want to do something to make him smile again. She was too empathetic for her own good. When she saw someone hurting, she wanted to help them. That desire had gotten her into trouble back at the commune. When a child was being punished for breaking the rules, she'd try to sneak them water or a piece of bread if they were forced to go without, and if she got caught, which she did far too often, she would get them both into more trouble.
She had a feeling that could happen with Hunter, that she could get caught up in trying to help him, and her efforts would come back to hurt her.
But she was probably being too dramatic. She was really just helping him take care of Olivia. That was all he needed her for, and she could do that. She could give some childcare assistance without getting emotionally involved with Hunter. She wasn't trying to fix him, just assist with a difficult situation. There were definite boundaries between them. He had his guard up, and she would do the same. She'd be friendly but cool.
Finally, the bell rang, and she grabbed her bag in relief, eager to get away from her thoughts. But as soon as she saw Hunter waiting for Olivia on the playground, looking ridiculously handsome in faded jeans that clung to his lean body, and a short-sleeve button-down shirt that showed off his broad shoulders, a shiver ran down her spine, making a mockery of her resolve to be cool. He might be intimidating and closed off, but there was no denying his attractive male features.
When Olivia ran up to him, and he squatted down to give her a hug and a smile, her gut clenched because she saw a hint of the man he could be, someone more open to caring and affection, someone who was less of a loner and more of a family man. He'd probably give her an incredulous look if she said anything like that to him. He was very determined in his pursuit of self-sufficiency and solitude.
After giving them a moment to connect, she made her way across the playground, seeing some of the moms giving Hunter a second or third look. And when she joined him, those same gazes turned even more curious, but she didn't care. She knew what was going on, and that was nothing, she told herself again.
She avoided Hunter's gaze and smiled at Olivia. "How was your day?"
"It was good," Olivia replied. "I made a friend. Her name is Zoe, and she has a puppy named Pickles."
"Pickles? Really? Is he green?"
Olivia giggled at that thought. "No, but he ate a bunch of pickles her mom left on the counter, so that's his name. Zoe has a baby brother named Cam, and she likes monkeys, too. We made friendship bracelets. She gave hers to me, and I gave mine to her. See?" She held out her arm to show off her bracelet as the torrent of information came to a close.
"That's very pretty," she said.
"Can we get ice cream now?" Olivia asked, her gaze swinging to Hunter.
"Absolutely," he said, a somewhat bemused look on his face.
She couldn't help smiling at that. Clearly, Hunter was not used to the ramblings of a six-year-old.
"Are you coming with us, Emmalyn?" Olivia asked.
She glanced at Hunter. "Unless you'd rather go on your own?"
"Not at all. I was thinking we could just park at Ocean Shores and then walk down to Sandy Scoops. It's not far."
"That's a great idea. I love their ice cream," she said, hoping some ice cream would actually help her get her cool back because she was feeling way too hot and bothered.
Hunter couldn't believe how much Olivia had to say on the way back to Ocean Shores. She'd been shy and withdrawn yesterday, but not today, reminding him once again of Gary, jumping from one subject to the next, just like her father used to do. Fortunately, he didn't have to contribute much to the conversation, because she was more interested in talking than in listening.
As she told him the story her teacher had read about a frog and a cat making friends, his mind drifted to the woman whose car he was following into the parking lot of Ocean Shores. Emmalyn was a very attractive woman and so nice to Olivia and him. He wasn't used to such selfless generosity, and he probably didn't deserve it. He hadn't been friendly to her until he'd needed her, and he felt guilty about that. But once again, he had to remind himself he couldn't change the past, a fact he was being confronted with every time he turned around these days.
When he brought the car to a stop, Olivia finally quieted down. He told her to leave her backpack and lunchbox in the car, and they'd get them when they returned.
Once Olivia was out of the car, she skipped to Emmalyn, and the three of them headed down the beach path, which led into town and provided spectacular ocean views every step of the way. It was a warm September day, topping out in the high seventies, and there were many people sunning on the sandy beach or playing in the water.
On their walk, Olivia repeated the same story to Emmalyn that she'd shared with him, and he was happy to let them chat while he walked alongside, feeling oddly more relaxed than he had felt in a while.
The ice cream parlor had a line, but Olivia continued to entertain them while they waited for their turn. He was glad she'd had a good day at school, but he still needed Bree to call him and come back and get her daughter. One good day at school and an ice cream cone wasn't going to make up for the loss of her mother.
Finally, they stepped up to the counter, each of them ordering a different flavor. He went with his standard mocha fudge, while Emmalyn opted for an Oreo cookie crunch and Olivia asked for chocolate. They took their cones to the patio, where Olivia excitedly greeted her new friend, Zoe, who was also there with her parents, her brother, and the puppy named Pickles.
After introducing themselves to Zoe's parents and exchanging pleasantries, he and Emmalyn sat down at a nearby table while Olivia sat on the ground with Zoe and Pickles.
He was happy to have Olivia's rambling conversation directed at Zoe for a few minutes. "She is Gary's child," he said to Emmalyn. "He would talk my ear off, too."
"I didn't realize she was so chatty. She's clearly feeling more comfortable now than she was yesterday."
"I'm happy to see it. How was your day?"
"It was a good end to the first week of school. The kids who were nervous and scared the first day finally relaxed and had fun. I have a lot of personalities in the class, but that only makes it more interesting."
"How long have you been a teacher?" he asked curiously.
"I'm in my fourth year, the second at Ravenswood. I was at another school in San Diego before that. But I'm much happier where I am now."
"Did you always know you wanted to be a teacher?"
"I did. School was my savior. It was where I finally found myself."
He frowned at her intriguing comment. "Okay, I really need the longer version of your story. Why was school your savior? Why were you sent to live with someone else when you were a kid?"
"Why do you care?" she challenged. "You've never been interested in getting to know me or anyone else in the building."
"That's true," he admitted. "I know I've been rude to you and others in the building. I was caught up in my own problems for a long time, and I couldn't find the energy to be friendly. I apologize for that, and I'm sorry I asked for information. I like my privacy, and I should respect yours."
"You should. But why did you ask, Hunter? Are you just bored and looking for a conversation that isn't about you, or are you really interested in getting to know me?"
He hesitated, seeing the demand for truth in her eyes, so he decided to give it to her. "I'm interested in getting to know you," he said.
"Why? Because I've been helping you out?"
"Not entirely. I can't quite figure you out, Emmalyn. You have a very sunny exterior. You always look bright and light, but a few things you've said have made me wonder what that hopeful optimism is covering up."
"I choose to be optimistic and to look forward. It's a choice I make every day because I didn't feel that way for a lot of my early life." She took a breath, her gaze moving to Olivia, who was still talking to her friend, while Zoe's parents were occupied entertaining their son. Then she looked back at him. "It was just my mom and me for the first five years of my life. I don't remember much about that time."
"What happened when you were five?"
"My mom met a man named Elias Ray. He ran a commune called Haven in the hills north of San Diego. At first, it seemed fun. I was so little, and there were lots of people, kids, and animals. Everyone was nice. It felt like we were camping, but as I got older, I realized how isolated we were, how little food we had to eat, how hard we had to work on the farm, even as young kids." She paused. "Some of the leaders had TVs and computers, but the rest of us had no connection to the outside world. There was no music allowed, no dancing, not even any laughing during workdays."
"What about school?"
"There was no school. My mom taught me how to read, and one of the other moms helped all of the kids learn math so we could add up the cost of the produce we were growing and eventually selling. It was very rigid and austere. There were a lot of rules."
"Was it religious?"
"Not specifically. They didn't follow a particular religion; it was more about living off the grid, being in nature, one with the earth. They didn't believe in medicine or doctors or anything materialistic. We all wore the same thing—pajama-like clothes or oversized dresses that went to the ground. It felt like the women and the girls worked the hardest. We had to clean, cook, sew, and take care of all the boys and the men. I didn't like it, but when I complained, my mother told me to stop, that this was our family now, and we had nowhere else to go."
"That sounds awful."
"I'm lucky that I was young enough to not really understand how awful it was."
"How could your mother stay there?"
"She would tell you that she stayed because they gave her everything she needed. We were really poor when we were on our own. We were sleeping in a car for a while. She was being taken care of at the farm, and she was grateful for that."
"It sounds like she was brainwashed."
"Definitely."
"How did you end up leaving?"
"My aunt found us. She had been looking for us for seven years, ever since we'd basically disappeared off the face of the earth. She figured out that the commune set up booths at various farmers' markets, and sometimes the women and children would go there to run the booth. It was actually a privilege to be allowed to do that, and I was thrilled when I finally got to go with my mom. But that's when I really saw how different our life was from other people. The kids I saw at the market were happy. They got to play and eat cookies and run around."
She paused as she licked her dripping ice cream cone. Then she continued, "My aunt said she'd gone to hundreds of markets before she found us. She waited for us to take a break, and then she pulled us into the parking lot. She said she was going to save us."
"What happened?" he asked as she quickly licked up some dripping ice cream. He was completely caught up in her story.
"My mom told her we didn't need saving. They argued. As I listened to my mom say how great things were and how happy I was, I got angry. I told her none of that was true, that our life was hard, and I wanted to leave. My aunt was promising me school, food, and freedom, and I wanted it all."
She popped the rest of her cone into her mouth, taking a minute before she continued her story. "I begged my mom to let us go. I said I didn't want to have to marry an old man like one of the girls a few years older than me had just done. And that's when something changed in her expression. I saw fear and worry. Finally, she said I could go with my aunt, but she had to return to Haven. She couldn't leave her family. She couldn't leave the man she loved. She'd never find anyone else to take care of her." Emmalyn's voice broke, and she cleared her throat, giving him a tight smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say all that. I'm as bad as Olivia."
He shook his head. "The last thing you have to do is apologize. How could your mother let you go? You were her daughter, her blood." He felt a fiery rage toward her supremely selfish mother.
Emmalyn shrugged as if she didn't care, but he knew she did.
"My aunt and I both made the same argument," she said. "But my mom walked away, and my aunt told me to get into the car. She said one day she'd get my mom to leave, and we'd be together again. I was terrified I'd made the wrong choice. I cried for weeks."
"That's understandable."
"My aunt was very kind to me, but I didn't even know her, and her life seemed so foreign. When she signed me up for school, I felt completely out of touch with the other kids. I was like an alien from Mars. I didn't know anything. I was lost." She paused. "I think that's why seeing Olivia's face when her mother left her with you hit me so hard. I could see myself in her. It's not the same, of course, and I'm sure her mom will come back, but her pain touched me."
He shook his head in bemusement. "I never would have guessed you had a story like that to tell."
"It's not one I like to share, so I don't. It's too embarrassing."
"You're a survivor, Emmalyn. You should be proud of that, not embarrassed."
"My aunt was the one who rescued me. I didn't escape on my own. There's not really anything to be proud of," she said pragmatically.
"That's not true. You had the courage to leave with your aunt. And look at you now. You're a beloved teacher, and you have great friends. Your past is way behind you. I'm sorry I asked you to go back to that painful place. I shouldn't have done that."
"You didn't know. And I didn't have to tell you. To be honest, I'm not completely sure why I did. But it's probably because my mom has recently resurfaced, so she's been on my mind."
"What do you mean?"
"The call I was trying to avoid yesterday was from my aunt. She has tried to stay in somewhat sporadic touch with my mother over the years. She said my mom is sick, and that she's going to attempt another rescue on Sunday. She wants me to go with her, to talk my mom into leaving so she can get medical care."
"That’s…" He didn't even know how to finish that statement. Finally, he said, "That's a lot to ask of you."
"I said no at first."
"At first?" he echoed.
"I don't owe my mom anything, but I do owe my aunt, and her desperation made me agree to give it a shot."
"Have you seen your mom since you were twelve?"
"Once, seven years ago, on my twenty-first birthday. That was another surprise meeting arranged by my aunt. Another opportunity for my mother to leave, but she didn't. After that, I told my aunt I was done. She said she would respect my wishes, and she didn't ask me to see her again until yesterday."
"Where are you going to meet her?"
"My mom still works at farmers' markets on Sundays. They rotate around to different locations, and there's a chance she might not even be there. But if she is, we'll try to get her to leave."
"Are you ready to see her again?"
"No," she said candidly. "I have very mixed feelings about it."
"I'll bet."
"Anyway, that's my story." She paused, giving him a pointed look. "You owe me now, Hunter."
"Owe you what?" he asked warily.
"Your story," she said, meeting his gaze. "Or at least part of it. Not right now," she added hastily. "But one day, I would like to know more about you."
He'd known there would be consequences to asking her personal questions, but hopefully, one day wouldn't come for a long time.
"I'm going to get a water," she said, getting to her feet. "Do you want one?"
"No, thanks."
As she left, he sat back in his seat, mindlessly watching Olivia and Zoe playing with the puppy as he thought about the incredible story he'd just heard. He could not believe everything Emmalyn had gone through, and he was incredibly happy her aunt had saved her from that life. She'd gone above and beyond for her niece, making him think that might be where Emmalyn got some of her selfless generosity from, because she, too, was willing to step up and help someone, even someone like him, who hadn't been very nice to her in the past.
She returned a moment later with a cup of water and gave him a nervous smile. "By the way, I'd appreciate it if you kept that story to yourself."
"Of course. You know I don't talk to many people anyway, so you really shouldn't worry about that."
She gave him a small smile. "I have a feeling that's going to change because your little chatterbox over there will drag you right into the middle of things, and maybe that's not bad."
"Well, I'm hoping her mother will be back before that happens." He paused as Zoe and her family got up to leave and Olivia rejoined them.
As Olivia launched into a new story about Zoe and her puppy, he saw Liam walking down the path. When Liam saw them, he came over.
"It's a perfect day for ice cream," he said. "How was it?"
"It was great," Olivia answered for all of them.
Liam laughed. "Good to know. I might have to get some later." He paused. "By the way…I have a five- to seven-year-old body surfing class tomorrow morning at ten, if Olivia has any interest. Paige is bringing Henry. It will be gentle and fun, just to get the kids used to the water. Parents and guardians are welcome to participate as well."
He hadn't been thinking of himself as a parent or a guardian, more like a temporary babysitter.
"I want to do that," Olivia piped up. "I want to go in the ocean. I know how to swim, and I swam in the pool without my floaties this summer."
"That's good, but we have all the kids wear a life vest," Liam put in. "No pressure, but you're welcome to come."
"I don't know. I don't want to take any risks with someone else's kid," he said.
"Daddy would let me do it," Olivia said, giving him an irritated glare.
"Sorry, I should have asked you when you were on your own," Liam said, giving him an apologetic smile.
"I'll think about it," he said.
"Sounds good. See you later."
As Liam walked away, Olivia said, "I want to go surfing with Henry. He's my age. If he can do it, I can do it."
He looked to Emmalyn for guidance.
She shrugged. "It's your call, Hunter."
"What would you do?" he asked her.
"I honestly don't know. Maybe you can talk to her mother before then?"
"I've been trying all day to get a hold of her. I'll think about it, Liv," he added, seeing the stubborn glint in her eyes that once again reminded him of Gary. He didn't know what call Bree would make about this body surfing class, but he knew that Gary would have been the first to sign up with his daughter. He'd believed in trying new things and having adventures. He'd want the same for Olivia.
"I really want to go," Olivia whined.
"All right," he said, giving in, because he also didn't want to spend the night with an angry little girl. He would keep her safe. Everything would be okay.
"I didn't take you for a pushover," Emmalyn said with a smile as they stood up to leave.
"I weighed my options, and this seemed like the best one if I want to make it through tonight."
"You're probably right."
"What are we going to eat for dinner?" Olivia asked, moving on to the next subject. "Can we go out somewhere?"
"I can make us something at home," he said.
"Can you eat with us?" Olivia asked Emmalyn.
As she hesitated, he said, "You're welcome to join us. Even though I don't know what dinner looks like yet."
"I'm sorry, I can't."
He shouldn't have been surprised by her refusal. He'd been taking up a lot of her time, but he was disappointed by her answer, and so was Olivia.
"Are you sure you can't come?" Olivia asked her.
"I wish I could, but I have other plans tonight."
"It's fine," he reassured her. "Are you going out with your friends?"
"It's actually a date."
"Oh, sure. It's Friday night." Of course she'd have a date. She was an attractive single woman. He shouldn't be surprised.
But surprise wasn't the only emotion he was feeling. It was something else, something he didn't want to define, so he just said, "I hope you have fun." But he didn't mean one word of that statement, and he was not going to define that, either.