Chapter 13 #2
They looked at it with big eyes, their throat working.
I didn’t want to linger, didn’t want to scare them. “Take care, okay? And stay warm.”
I turned toward Soyer, walked away.
“Hey, thank you. Thanks, man.”
I looked back at them. They had blue eyes. “It’s nothing. Please stay warm.”
They nodded and broke eye contact, effectively ending the interaction.
We’d crossed all the way to the other end of the station before Soyer spoke again. “It wasn’t that long for you, was it?”
We took the first step in sync. “Who’s the worrier now? No, it wasn’t. I told you I was lucky.”
“Need to remember to send Dwayne some kind of present to thank him for that.”
I remembered Dwayne’s face, not when he’d realized what had been up with me, that I didn’t have a place to stay, but when he’d told me what was going to happen; how he was going to help me out, how he expected me to work and keep my nose clean—his words.
Dwayne, calm though he was, had looked more furious than my father the day he’d kicked me out, but I’d never once been afraid of Dwayne.
I’d only ever been afraid of disappointing him.
“You might make him uncomfortable.”
“Don’t fucking care. He looked after you when I didn’t even know you existed.”
I smiled as we made it back up to the surface level, where thick snowflakes landed on my hair. “He took up knitting. Can you imagine.”
“Amory, my imagination is quite powerful.”
I chuckled. “Sounds like an innuendo when you say it like that. Took me by surprise though, Dwayne knitting.”
He hummed. “Good, you’re noticing my innuendos. I always worry about being too subtle with you. Why did the thought of Dwayne knitting take you by surprise? He’s good with his hands, absolutely no innuendo there. I’ve seen the man work in the kitchen.”
It was a good question, and I thought about it.
“Well, it’s Dwayne. He’s not…soft, I guess.
But that makes it seem like I’m saying he’s hard or rough, which isn’t what I mean at all, but maybe a little.
I just can’t see him knitting scarves and giving them away as holiday presents.
” I glanced his way. “You can knit too, right?”
“Killed a man with a knitting needle that one time,” he deadpanned, which had me slapping my hand over my mouth so I didn’t laugh out loud.
“I don’t think that’s the kind of knitting Dwayne does. Oh, he also mentioned he has a babysitter for Laura. I don’t want to pry, but do you know anything? About Jenny, I mean.”
“I do.”
We walked toward the car, and he unlocked it with the fob, then opened the door for me.
I buckled up and waited for him to elaborate when he got in on the driver’s side and did the same, but he kept quiet as he pulled away from the curb and joined the traffic, only to stop at a red light soon after.
“So, about Jenny…”
“There’s not much to tell there. Compulsion simply interacts badly with some mental health issues. They’re trying medication, but people react differently to that after having been compelled the way she was.”
My hands balled into fists. “The way she was?”
Soyer tapped the wheel before the light turned green and he accelerated. “While being fed on.”
“Oh.”
“She’s getting the best treatment available. Valentin is seeing to that.”
I knew that was a good thing. Rationally, that entire situation back at the diner could’ve ended a lot worse. “I just wish… I wish I could do something for her, you know?”
“I do know that.” He took a left turn, not the direct route back home.
I’d gotten used to him choosing detours to break up the routine.
He’d explained that he liked changing it up every now and then.
“About me leaving town, that’ll be in about two weeks’ time.
That way I’ll be there in case anything with the reopening goes off course, and we have time to discuss how you can reach me and what to do in an emergency. ”
In the same way that talking about Jenny had gotten me to tense up, hearing Soyer worry about leaving me alone mellowed me out.
I leaned back against the headrest and looked at him. “What kind of emergency are you imagining? I doubt anything bad is going to happen.”
“It better not.”
He turned into a street I didn’t know, and once again I wondered how he managed all his detours without using the car’s navigation system.
That had me wondering whether there was a reason for it, whether he’d studied the maps of the city, or whether he’d just been here so long that he’d explored all of them.
“Hey, did you ever drive a cab?” I asked, given that was another option.
He huffed. “Where did your mind just go?” His voice lifted with amusement, bringing out the melodic quality I loved so much.
I shrugged, looked out my window. “Oh, not too far. I just thought you know your way around the city, and maybe that’s the reason.”
“Ah, you’re looking for a mystery to solve. I’ve never been a cab driver. Funny you should find one of the only occupations I didn’t pursue.”
I looked back at him. “Would you…tell me everything you did?”
“Everything?” He chuckled. “I don’t think I’d be able to remember everything. Doesn’t it suffice to know I’m a decent baker who can sew?”
“I guess that’s not too bad. For a start.” I put my hand on his arm, just a gentle touch. “I don’t want to come across as interrogating you or anything, I’m just curious. But you don’t ever have to tell me anything. I love you, and what you tell or don’t tell me doesn’t matter, okay?”
“Amory.” He hit the brakes, put the car in park, and turned to me. Faster than I could follow, he reached for me, gripped the lapel of my jacket, and reeled me in.
“Hey, what—”
“I need to kiss you.”
“But if there’s other cars—”
“There aren’t, and fuck them. May I kiss you, my heart?”
I nodded before saying, “Yeah. You may.”
He brushed his lips against mine, that soft, innocent kiss belying the ardent need I could see in his black eyes, the desire that wanted out.
And yet, that single kiss was enough to make a shiver run through me in response.
I could’ve melted into him in that moment, would’ve readily followed him wherever he chose to take me.
It was only a moment though, and honking from behind us broke it.
“Fucker,” Soyer grumbled, then pressed another kiss to my lips. “We’ll pick that up later.”
He resumed driving, though he went as slow as he was able to, clearly annoying the driver behind us and enjoying the fuck out of it. They took the next right that was available to them.
“Are you going to tell me where you’re going or what you’re going to do when you get there?” I asked when we were close enough to home that I could see Sundial Tower taking up a good chunk of the skyline in front of us.
Light from outside fell on his face, illuminating his features. “I’ll be working. Nothing you need to worry about.”
Him saying that did worry me—of course it did. But he was my Soyer, my firebird. He’d come for me. He wanted to be with me. He’d never leave me alone.
“Will you promise me to be careful, at least?”
He reached for my hand as he hit the remote button that opened the gate to the underground garage.
“I promise, Amory. And I promise you that there is nothing to worry about.”
I trusted him. But I still couldn’t help worrying.