35. Thirty-Five
Three days had passed since the harrowing night she’d been taken, and Camilla finally awoke feeling as though she’d slept soundlessly without nightmares stealing her rest. She stretched underneath the thin summer blanket and cracked her eyelids to an empty room. The ball of fur near her knees unrolled, and Lula’s snout wriggled out from underneath.
Camilla stroked the dog’s ears. Mabel had been awfully kind to let them all stay here. She hadn’t even complained about Lula sleeping in the bed. Well, to be fair, she might not know about that.
Buck and Finn had fetched Camilla’s poor pup from Hattie’s house as soon as daylight had broken the darkness of the night she’d been abducted. Lula had howled like a banshee once she saw Camilla and refused to be parted from her side since. She was thankful for the comfort her little friend offered.
Canine company aside, there hadn’t been much privacy anyway, what with so many people staying in one house. Daniel occupied his grandfather’s room while Mabel and Lucas shared the adjoining room Daniel’s grandmother once used. That left the three guest rooms for a host of visitors as well as the parlor couch for Solomon”s temporary hospital bed.
Not that she’d minded sharing the corner room with Hattie while Stella, Daisy, and Violet took the other. Finn and Buck occupied the smallest room—once a nursery—farthest down the hall and across from Daniel. Having people around comforted the frayed edges of her nerves.
Sunshine poured through the large windows and gleamed on the river beyond one while the other overlooked the edge of the untamed garden, which wrapped the rear and both sides of the house. She lowered her feet to the rug and wiggled her toes. Then she stretched the aches from her sore muscles.
The door swung open, and Hattie bustled in. “’Bout time you got up.”
Her wink and laughed words left no doubt she’d been the one to make sure Camilla slept late. She offered the older woman a smile of thanks.
“Get dressed. We got things to discuss.” Hattie fished around in her skirt pocket. She handed Camilla a creased envelope. “And this came for you. Buck picked it up from the post.”
Her name covered a majority of the manila paper in firm, blocky script. She slipped her finger through the seal and pulled out a single sheet of paper. Huh. She skimmed the contents.
“Well, I’ll be.”
“What?” Hattie peered over her shoulder, even though she’d never learned to read. “Something wrong?”
“On the contrary.” Camilla shook the paper. “Seems I actually received my payment for our last shipment. Truthfully, I thought I’d never see the day. I even started to think Mr. Copeland was tangled up with all these other criminals in Natchez. But this letter claims he’s transferred the entire amount to the bank.”
“That’s good, right?” Hattie busied herself making up the bed, fluffing pillows.
Lula rumbled her protest, but Hattie ignored her, scooping up the pup and placing her on the floor. Lula stretched with her front paws splayed in front of her, then plopped down on the rug.
“Of course.” So why did the words feel heavy in her mouth?
She frowned at the page. Perhaps because now that she had enough money to make the repairs to Papa’s boat, she had decisions to make. Ones she hadn’t yet wanted to consider.
“Um-hmm.” Hattie shook out the coverlet and laid it back on the bed, then turned to face Camilla. “It’s time Solomon and I be getting on home.”
Camilla paused. “I understand. Thank you for staying with me while things settled.”
Everyone had the right to get back to their usual lives. Unfortunately, she had no idea what that meant in her own life. Where would she go now?
Mabel had offered to let Camilla stay in her and Lucas’s room once she and her son left for a trip up North. But she didn’t know how she felt about that yet. She’d never resided in one place long, and the room could swallow three of her cabins on the Alma May.
But neither could she impose on Hattie’s small cabin, and since she’d gotten her money from Mr. Copeland, she could afford to pay a boarding fee. At least for a short time.
“Lots of thoughts churning behind those pretty eyes.” Hattie propped a hand on her hip.
“Just thinking about the future.” Camilla snagged a green dress and ducked behind the privacy screen to change. “There’s a lot to consider.”
“Including one handsome young lawyer, I imagine.”
At Hattie’s wistful tone, Camilla couldn’t help but smile. “Yes, that’s part of it.” She hauled her sleeping gown off, hung it over the partition, then shimmied into her underclothes. “I haven’t known him long.”
“But?”
Camilla tugged the cotton frock over her head and tied the bow behind her back. “But…snakes and saltwater. That fella’s making me have to do a lot of thinking, that’s what.”
She huffed and exited the changing area to where Hattie had started dusting. Where had she gotten the rag? Likely, she thought the chore would help repay their lodging, food, and Solomon’s doctor bill. Camilla moved to stop Hattie since Daniel would never require repayment, but she stopped herself.
Sometimes people needed to extend their love and thanks in their own way. Stopping Hattie would only rob her of providing a blessing.
“Love’s only partly about thinking, my girl.” Hattie smoothed the rag around the edge of the writing desk. “Rest of it is about feeling and praying.”
The feeling part had come in a flood. The praying part…well, she’d done a little of that. But perhaps not enough. She rubbed the back of her neck. “How do you know if you love someone?”
“You know.” Hattie’s deep-brown eyes twinkled, and the corner of her mouth tilted.
That didn’t help in the least. “How?”
Hattie lifted her brows, then wriggled them in the same way she’d done to Camilla as a girl. The look that meant “you know you just don’t want to say it.”
Camilla stifled a groan. Fine. Hattie knew her too well. “He makes me feel safe, like I can accomplish anything, knowing he’s there to support me. He’s gentle and kind, smart and strong. I’ve never met anyone like him. My insides feel like turbulent waters whenever he looks at me with those soul-deep green eyes. And then when he kisses me…” The words dissolved into a helpless shrug. “I don’t know…I get all warm and jittery at the same time.”
“Sounds like love to me.” Hattie waved the rag at her. “You told him yet?”
Camilla shook her head.
“He tell you yet?”
“Not exactly. He never said he loved me. Just that I had his heart and always would.”
Now Hattie rolled her eyes. “If he’s showing you love and respect and he’s telling you you hold his heart, then you know everything you need to. Question is, do you feel the same?”
She did. But that didn’t stop the pounding worry or the fear of the unknown. “But what about my boat and my crew? I worked hard for my license.”
Hattie’s rag stilled on the desk. “What does that have to do with Mr. Gray?”
“Love means marriage, right? And married women cook and keep house and live on land.”
Hattie studied Camilla, then tilted her head back, and laughed.
Really. What was funny about that?
“Girl, smart as you are, you can be thickheaded about some things.” Hattie plucked the rag again, this time going to attack nonexistent dust on the windowsill. “Just because other folks choose to live their own lives that way don’t mean you have to. Mr. Gray knows you’re a steamboat captain. If he was looking for a kitchen mouse, he wouldn’t have picked you.”
Perhaps she had a point. “I’ll think on it.” She caught Hattie’s eye. “And pray.”
“Good girl.” Hattie patted her arm. “Now come on downstairs so we can have a talk with the fellas. They got something they want to say to you.”
Camilla didn’t much like the sound of that. Nerves in check and a pleasant expression plastered in place, she finished readying herself for the day and then strolled down the stairs, Lula trotting at her heels. After Camilla let the dog out and waited for Lula to finish her personal business in the front yard, she followed the familiar masculine voices to the parlor.
Solomon sat on the couch, a smile on his broad lips and hands gesturing quickly. Buck and Finn guffawed over something he’d said while Hattie moved her dustrag attack to the shelves near the hearth. When Solomon noticed Camilla lingering in the doorway, he beckoned her inside.
The other two men grew sober as she settled herself on the couch.
Solomon gestured to his mother, then to his side. Next, he signed “home” and “new start” with slow and deliberate movements. Buck and Finn both kept their gazes locked on the woven carpet.
Hattie finished her dusting and settled in the chair next to them. Solomon motioned for her to take over, but she waved the suggestion aside. “This here is your row to hoe, my son. Not mine.”
Solomon drew a long breath and signed.
I’ve thought and prayed, and I am ready for a new chapter in life. I want to stay around here, be close to Mama. Help her around the house and maybe…
He spread his palms with a sheepish look.
Maybe find a woman who looks at me like you look at Mr. Gray and start a family of my own someday.
Her stomach sunk to her toes. “You won’t be our engineer anymore?”
“We ain’t abandoning you, Captain.” Buck twisted his cap between his fingers.
“We?” She included Finn in a sweeping gesture. “You two are looking to start families too?”
Buck snorted. “Too late for that for me.” The lines around his eyes crinkled. “But it ain’t too late to find my brothers. Maybe help them with our pa’s farm. Might be good to be around family again now that I’m a changed man. If they’ll have me.”
Her throat thickened. “They would be fools not to.”
“Thanks, Captain. It’s been an honor working for you.”
Swallowing down tears, she focused on Finn. “And you?”
“Thinking about trying out for a captain license of my own.” He scratched the back of his head. “Been learning a lot, and you’ve been great to teach me. Don’t want you to see it as a betrayal, me learning from you and then leaving you shorthanded.”
Camilla grinned and then stood to tug him into a quick hug. “That’s wonderful! I’m proud of you, Finn. I know you can do it.”
“You do?” He shifted his feet. “You aren’t angry?”
“Of course not.” She slapped at his arm. “What teacher wouldn’t be proud to see her student succeed? You’ll be a fine captain.”
“Thank you.” Moisture glimmered in his eyes, and he ducked his chin.
But what would she do without a crew? Sure, she could hire another, but it wouldn’t be the same. So many changes. She drew a fortifying breath, then sat back down next to Solomon. After a loaded moment, he continued.
Been praying a lot here on this couch, Solomon signed. And I have an idea.
As he laid out the details of an interesting plan, the idea anchored into Camilla’s heart. Could it work? What would Daniel think?
They talked late into the morning until Stella rang the bell for the midday meal. Camilla rose, feeling lighter than she anticipated after such a shift in currents. She wrapped an arm around Solomon’s back and squeezed, careful of his wound.
“You’ve been a great friend to me, Solomon. I hope we can always remain that way even if we don’t live on the same boat.”
He gave her a look like she’d gone mad if she thought anything else. Then he grinned and motioned her out the door.
I’m starving.
Lula yipped in agreement, as though she understood the hand gestures. Likely she’d caught a whiff of whatever Stella had fried. Camilla chuckled as she followed the others to the dining room filled with laughter and conversation.
She glanced toward the ceiling as everyone else filed inside. “I figure you’ve got a plan in all this, God,” she whispered. “Sure would be helpful if you’d help me know what it is. A little wisdom and guidance, if you please.”
No voice came down from heaven, and no insights struck her like lightning. But peace settled on her heart, and a sense of rightness swelled in her soul.
And for now, that was enough.