Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
Vivian inhaled happily as she stirred together sugar and butter in a mixing bowl. She loved all of the sweet and spicy smells that came along with baking. She had the radio turned on low, and the sounds of beautiful jazz music filled her kitchen, adding to the already cozy atmosphere. Outside, it was a beautiful sunny day with a robin’s egg blue sky.
She was spending her Saturday morning baking cranberry walnut scones with maple glaze. She was wearing a comfortable pink sweater that Julia had bought her for Christmas, and she was feeling cozy and relaxed while still filled with energy.
She was in good spirits, having awoken earlier that morning from a dream in which Alan came back to The Lighthouse Grill and asked her to sit and talk with him while he ate. He’d been just as attractive and attentive in the dream as he had been in person, and she had started her day full of excited, fluttery feelings.
I shouldn’t keep thinking about that dream, she thought to herself with a dreamy smile as she sprinkled a teaspoon of cinnamon into the batter. It wasn’t real. But our conversation at the pub was. It wouldn’t hurt to think about that.
She paused in her work, staring into space as she recalled the day she’d met Alan at the pub. She thought about the way he’d caught the ketchup bottle so gallantly, and how he’d looked at her so admiringly. It still made her feel jittery whenever she thought about it. She wasn’t used to having men pay her any special attention, and it had felt wonderful.
The conversation that they’d shared had been fun, she thought. He was clearly a fun person to spend time with, and she felt that they’d had a good mental chemistry as they bantered back and forth.
She bit her lip and went back to her baking, thinking to herself that she hoped she would see him again soon.
She was just tucking the scones into the oven when she heard a knock on the back door. Surprised, she turned around, trying to see who it was through the window. She hadn’t been expecting anyone, and packages usually arrived at the front door.
“Come in,” she called.
A moment later, Hazel stepped inside the kitchen. She was bundled up in her coat and hat and mittens, and her cheeks were flushed from the cold.
“Hazel!” Vivian was surprised but delighted. She was always happy to have her children stop by her home, as there was always plenty of food and warmth to be shared. “So good to see you, honey. What’s the occasion?”
“Nothing, really.” Hazel gave her mother a big hug and then started to take off her coat. “Samantha’s still at her friend’s house after a sleepover, and I was feeling a hankering for company. Are you busy right now?”
“Not at all. I just put some scones in the oven. I was planning on using them for tomorrow’s family breakfast, but I’m happy to give you one now. Have you had breakfast?”
Hazel shook her head. “Just coffee.” She grinned guiltily.
“Hazel!” Vivian scolded her daughter gently. “You know that isn’t good for your stomach.”
“I know.” Hazel sat down in one of the kitchen chairs. “I was just feeling extra sleepy this morning. I was up late reading last night. Whenever Samantha is away, I start acting like a teenager again.”
Vivian smiled at her daughter. Hazel had gotten married and had Samantha so young, she’d had to jump quickly from being a teenager to being a mother with many responsibilities. Vivian was glad that now that Samantha was older, Hazel got to experience some of the independence that she hadn’t been able to experience when her daughter was little. “That sounds like fun. I’ve stayed up late reading quite a few times myself once you children moved out.”
Hazel nodded, smiling, and then leaned her head back in an enormous yawn. “I hate to ask, but do you have any coffee?”
Vivian shook her head, chuckling. “How about I make you some scrambled eggs and pancakes first? I’ve got a little batter left over from when I made myself and Julia pancakes earlier this morning.”
“Food before coffee, huh?” Hazel grinned. “That sounds incredible. Thank you, Mom.”
Hazel helped her mother whip up scrambled eggs and a couple of mini blueberry pancakes. Vivian enjoyed having her daughter there in the kitchen with her, and they had Hazel’s breakfast food cooked up in no time.
“And look at that, the scones are done!” Vivian brushed her hands together with the satisfaction of a job well done before she took the baking sheet out of the oven. “You can eat one of those too right away.”
She poured both herself and Hazel cups of coffee, and they sat down together at the kitchen table. Hazel grunted with pleasure as she began to eat the delicious breakfast.
“Thanks, Mom,” she sighed in between mouthfuls of food. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I started eating.”
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” Vivian said cheerfully, a phrase she’d uttered countless times when the children were growing up.
Hazel chuckled and took another bite of her scone.
“Did you have anything on your mind you wanted to talk about?” Vivian asked her. “How are things going in your life?”
“Not really.” Hazel shrugged, smiling. “Everything’s good.”
“Yeah? How’s work?”
“Work is great. It’s been just busy enough to be interesting without being hectic.”
Hazel worked as a receptionist at the local doctor’s office, a job that was well-suited to her sweet, optimistic personality.
“And what about Jacob?” Vivian cocked a brow as she asked about her daughter’s handyman boyfriend.
“Really good.” Hazel suddenly looked smitten and her cheeks flushed slightly. “Dating is even better than just being friends was. I mean—that sounds silly, but I was worried that the way we’re so comfortable around each other might go away when we started dating. But it hasn’t at all. Sometimes we feel kind of shy and romantic toward each other, but most of the time, it’s like our friendship has just evolved to the next level.”
Vivian nodded, thrilled that her daughter was able to experience something so wonderful. She remembered feeling that way with Frank, and her heart ached with a bittersweet joy. “I’m so happy the two of you have finally gotten together. It feels as though it was meant to be, doesn’t it?”
“It kind of does. I’ve had a crush on him for so long, and the whole time I had no idea he was interested in me too. I’m so glad we finally figured it out.”
“I am too. I remember you felt as though you’d missed your chance when he started dating that other girl, but it just goes to show you that you never know how things are going to turn out.”
“So true.” Hazel shook her head as she cut one of the mini pancakes in half with her fork. “I’m kind of glad it all happened the way it did, though. I’d just mustered enough courage to ask him out with that gift basket I’d made him when I learned he was dating someone else, and it had felt like terrible timing, but I think it was actually good timing.”
“How so?”
“I learned to be brave enough to tell him how I felt, and then I got those few months of being single. I really got to work on myself and become the person I want to be. I became so much more confident and able to express my own needs. That’s been so helpful in my relationship with Jacob now. I think we still would have worked out even if I hadn’t gone on my journey of self-improvement, but it’s made everything a lot better.”
“I’m so proud of you, Hazel. You’ve really discovered a strong sense of self while still being a giving person. It’s an important quality to have.”
“Thanks.” Hazel shot her mother a bashful look. “I’m just so thankful we got another chance. I learned to be happy without him, but I’m definitely happier with him. He still gives me butterflies just like he did when I was seventeen.” She laughed. “Samantha calls us ‘disgustingly cute’ but she’s just teasing. She loves having Jacob around.” Hazel was still smiling, but Vivian noticed a trace of worry her in daughter’s eyes.
“Everything does seem to be going great for you.” Vivian reached over and patted Hazel’s hand. “But I’m detecting a hint of reservation. Are you sure you’re telling me everything?”
Hazel laughed. “I can’t get past that mom radar. You’re right. There is something else on my mind.” She sighed and took a sip of her coffee as if giving herself time to gather her thoughts.
Vivian took a sip of her own coffee, waiting patiently for her daughter to speak and wondering what it was that was bothering Hazel.
“Nothing’s wrong right now,” Hazel said. “At least, as far as I can tell it isn’t. But I am worried that Samantha might start to feel neglected now that I’m in a relationship.”
“Why do you think that?” Vivian asked. “I mean, I was in a relationship with your father, and you kids never felt neglected by either of us.”
“True.” Hazel poked at her scrambled eggs with her fork as she thought. “But Jacob isn’t Samantha’s father, and as a single mother, I’ve always put Samantha first. Taking the time to enjoy being with Jacob feels a bit frivolous and self-centered.”
Vivian shook her head. “Not at all, sweetheart. You’re such a giving person, but you need to remember that you shouldn’t give too much, not even to Samantha. She’s old enough now to understand what’s happening and be happy for you. And I know she is. Life has all sorts of seasons, and family members have to share one another with other people. It’s in the interest of helping our loved ones live their best lives. I know Samantha wants that for you.”
Vivian listened to her own words and realized with surprise that she had been giving herself advice as well. She missed being in a romantic partnership, but she’d convinced herself that it was her duty to her children to not look for another man, since it would be difficult for them after losing their father. But she realized as she spoke with Hazel that her attitude was too unselfish, in a way that wasn’t healthy for herself. She did have the right to seek out her own happiness, and she knew that her children would want that for her, even if it would feel weird for them to see their mother dating another man.
“What are you thinking, Mom?” Hazel asked. “There’s clearly something on your mind too.”
Vivian laughed. “You’ve got some mom radar yourself there, missy. I have been thinking about something lately, but I convinced myself I shouldn’t be thinking about it. What I was just saying to you applies to me too, though, and I just realized it.”
Hazel leaned forward with interest. “What is it, Mom?” she asked softly.
“I feel…” Vivian took a deep breath. “I feel ready to move on from the heartache of the past and give another man a chance to make me happy.”
Hazel blinked for a moment, and Vivian felt a flutter of worry that her daughter was upset by the idea. But a moment later a smile spread across her daughter’s face.
“It’s weird to think of you loving someone other than Dad,” Hazel said slowly. “But I want you to be happy, Mom. I want that for you so much. I think the idea of you dating someone else is wonderful.”
Vivian smiled, feeling tears spring into her eyes. “Thank you for saying that, sweetheart.”
“So…” Hazel waggled her eyebrows impishly. “Do you have any lucky men in mind?”
Vivian waved her hand through the air hurriedly. “No, no, nothing like that. It’s just something I’ve been thinking about lately.”
“Yeah? Are you sure you don’t have a special someone you’ve been thinking about?” Hazel was clearly teasing, but she had a look in her eyes that made Vivian think she meant the question sincerely as well.
Vivian wondered if she might be blushing a little, and she hoped she wasn’t. “I’ll let you know if anything comes of it.”
“If anything comes of what?”
“Of this whole idea! I mean, if I find someone—if I go on a date—you know what I mean.”
“Do I?” Hazel’s tone was gleeful.
“Oh, hush and eat your breakfast, please. I’m going to go glaze the rest of those scones.”
Hazel grinned as her mother stood up. Vivian laughed as she went over to the kitchen counter to start to work on the scones. As soon as her face was turned away from her daughter, she allowed herself a small, private smile of excitement.