Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Dean pulled open the front door of Ocean Breeze Café and looked around for Hazel. It was early in the morning on Tuesday, and his twin had asked him to meet her there for caffeine and conversation. He was looking forward to talking with her, but he was also a little nervous. He knew his perceptive twin sister would be able to tell that something was bothering him, but he wasn’t sure he felt ready to talk with her about how things were going badly with Noelle.
Hazel waved to him from across the room. She was already seated at one of the little tables placed by the windows. There was a chocolate éclair on a plate beside her, and she was holding a pink mug filled with coffee in her hand. As he started to cross the room toward her, she set down the mug and stood up to give him a hug.
“Hey, you!” she said as she released him. “How’s my favorite twin doing?”
He laughed. “I’m doing fine. How about you?”
She lifted one shoulder. “Can’t complain. Jacob and Samantha and I all watched a movie together last night, and then Jacob and I stayed up late talking. I’m a little extra sleepy this morning, but that’s nothing two shots of espresso can’t cure.” She gestured to her coffee with a smile.
“Hmm, espresso sounds good. Let me order and I’ll come right back.”
“I recommend the éclairs. This seems to be a particularly good batch or something. Or maybe I’m just hungry.”
“Could be both.” He grinned at her and then walked over to the counter. He ordered himself a cup of coffee with a splash of hazelnut creamer and one of the éclairs. While he waited, he took a few deep breaths, enjoying the wonderful nutty and sweet aromas that filled the coffee shop. Cheerful folk music was playing softly in the background, and he felt his spirits lift a little bit. Maybe Hazel wouldn’t ask him about Noelle after all.
He got his coffee and éclair and went back to Hazel’s table. Before he’d even finished sitting down, she asked him eagerly, “How are things going with Noelle?”
He sighed and took a long sip of his coffee before answering. “Um, fine.”
Hazel’s eyes narrowed. She continued to stare at him knowingly as she took another bite of her éclair. She didn’t say anything for several seconds, and then she finally cleared her throat loudly.
Dean sighed again. “Okay. You’re right. Things aren’t going so great right now.”
She pressed her lips together sympathetically. “I’m sorry to hear that, Dean. What’s been going on?”
“Well, not enough, I guess. We haven’t been able to spend much time together lately. I’ve been getting so tired by the end of my workdays that planning things is becoming really difficult. We had a dinner planned, and then I fell asleep on the couch and didn’t come pick her up. She came over and woke me up, and then made me scrambled eggs and told me to go to sleep.”
“She’s an angel.” Hazel shook her head.
Dean felt a lump threaten to rise up in his throat. Noelle was an angel, and he didn’t ever want to lose her.
“She is. And if that were all, I think we’d be okay, but then it happened again.”
“You slept through another date?”
He shook his head. “I planned a romantic night out for us to make it up to her for missing the first date. We were going to go to that cabaret over in Cedarville and get dinner and everything. But then I ended up being so exhausted after my work shift that I had to cancel on her. My arthritis got in the way again.” He shook his head. “I didn’t tell her that, though. I told her that I had to stay late at the auto shop to finish a couple of emergency requests. She didn’t think that was as good of an excuse as I’d hoped she would.” He grimaced.
Hazel stared at him in dismay.
“Oh no,” he said. “You’re about to let me have it, aren’t you?”
Hazel set down her coffee cup firmly. “Dean Owens. Why on earth wouldn’t you just be honest with your girlfriend?”
He sighed. “Because I—well, I’m worried. Scared, I guess. I’m afraid that my diagnosis is going to end up coming between us. I’m scared that once she realizes how much it gets in the way of us having a normal relationship, she’s not going to want to be with me anymore.”
Hazel reached across the table and squeezed Dean’s hand. “I don’t think you need to be afraid of that. She knew all about your diagnosis before she started dating you.”
“Yeah, but knowing about it is one thing, and actually experiencing the way it makes our relationship difficult is something else. I’m worried that she’ll see my osteoarthritis as a burden she doesn’t want to carry around with her.”
Hazel shook her head. “Noelle is a smart, kind girl. I think you should give her more credit for knowing what it was going to be like to date you along with your physical struggles. Besides, it’s way worse for you to let her think that you’re putting your work before her. You acted like you were putting everything else in front of having a conversation with her, and spending time with her. Trust me, she’s going to be a lot more upset by that than learning that you got too fatigued from your osteoarthritis again.”
Dean pressed his lips together. “Do you think so?”
“I know so. Learning that you’re struggling physically might make her sad, but then at least she knows you’re doing your best to put your relationship with her first. You lying to her and telling her it was about fixing a couple of cars made her feel as though she just doesn’t matter to you as much as your work does.”
Dean nodded, taking in his sister’s words and feeling a twinge of regret. “You have a great point, Hazel. I guess I shouldn’t have done that.”
She shook her head. “I wouldn’t have advised it. You just need to be honest with her, Dean. There can’t be secrets like that in a healthy relationship. We’ve got to be able to share our hearts with our partners. I know it can be scary—we don’t want to bring up anything that might make our partner reject us. But if those things are part of our reality, for better or worse, we need to talk about them.”
“You’re right. Sounds like you’re speaking from experience,” he teased her before taking another bite out of the sweet, soft chocolate éclair.
She laughed. “Yes, you’re right. When Jacob and I first started dating, I had a lot of doubts about whether or not he was really okay with being with me. I mean, I know he’s interested in me, and well, he likes me and all that—” Hazel blushed when she said the words and Dean chuckled.
She continued, staring into space with a somewhat dreamy expression. “But I wasn’t sure if deep down, he was okay with the fact that I was married before and I have a daughter. I felt nervous about talking with him about all that, but then I finally did. All it took was a conversation to reassure me that not only is he more than okay with my past, he’s ready to face whatever challenges we might encounter together. It really meant a lot to me to hear him say that, and I’m so glad that I brought up my fears with him. Otherwise, there would have been no way for him to reassure me.”
Dean smiled at his twin. “You’re right. It’s better to communicate, and hope to get the kind of reassurance that you’ve gotten from Jacob.”
“And I really think you’ll get the same from Noelle.” She smiled back at him. “It’s so nice to not be living under that cloud of concern anymore. Well, I guess—” She sighed. “I guess I am still a little concerned about something else.”
“What is it?”
“It’s not about Jacob, it’s about Samantha. Well, it’s not about Jacob exactly. I’m concerned that Samantha will feel left out. After all, it’s always been her and me against the world, and now all of a sudden, I’m spending a lot of time with someone else.”
“Based on how happy she seems to be about the two of you, I think she’s okay with it,” Dean reassured her. “And hasn’t she been spending a lot of time with her friends lately anyway?”
“That’s true. I just worry that even though she’s happy for us, she’s going to end up feeling neglected by me, at least a little bit.”
“Sounds like you should have a conversation with your daughter about that.” He lifted a brow, giving her a gentle look.
She laughed. “You’re right, I probably should.” She smiled at him. “It seems we both need to have a nice honest check-in with the ones we love.”
Dean winced. “I guess you’re right.” He didn’t want to say it out loud, but he was terrified that Noelle would admit to him that their relationship was more difficult than she’d anticipated, and she couldn’t see herself staying with him.
“Dean, in a relationship, these difficult but important kinds of conversations are never going to go away. There’s always going to be something new to talk about.”
He sighed. “You’re right. It looks like it’s time for me to call Noelle.”
Hazel smiled at him. “Don’t worry. I think you’ll be really glad you talked with her about all this.”
He did his best to smile back. “I hope you’re right.”