3. A Monster
3
A MONSTER
W hen the sun started filling up her room, she finally gave up on sleep. Most nights, she barely slept a wink, so most days, she walked around torturously tired. It was clear already that today wasn’t going to go any differently than yesterday, or the day before that.
After getting dressed for the day, she walked out of her little bedroom to find her grandparents in the kitchen. Her grandfather sat at the tiny table while her grandmother shuffled around in her slippers, throwing things in the tea kettle on the stove.
“Good morning,” she greeted them what seemed to be louder every day when they didn’t hear her walk in. It was a blessing and a curse they had lost most of their hearing. A blessing they no longer heard her nightmares when she actually did get some sleep, and a curse they had gotten old.
“Morning, Eira,” her grandmother shouted, not looking away from her concoction. “Tea is almost ready.”
Eira went to the cabinet to pull out three porcelain teacups. Placing one in front of her grandfather first, she gave him a smile, hoping he’d hear her this time. “Morning, Grandpa.”
Her grandpa just smiled and gave a quick nod, showing that he still clearly didn’t hear her.
She tried not to laugh at his obliviousness. These days, he wasn’t a man of many words, anyway. Hell, her grandma spoke enough for them both.
One day, she hoped to be like her grandpa, just simply happy and grateful to wake up every day alive. Nothing troubled him, and everything was done for him by either his wife or Eira. It never bothered her. She loved helping her grandparents, and nothing fulfilled her grandmother more than caring for her husband.
Her grandfather had spent most of his life on a fishing boat, providing for his family, so his body had given out due to arthritis. Hence the tea her grandmother was still doting over.
“Be careful; it’s hot,” her grandmother made sure to always remind her husband when she was finally satisfied with the taste and began pouring the piping-hot green liquid into his cup. She then went to pour Eira some but quickly stopped when she caught her granddaughter’s image. “This tea won’t help you.”
“It’s fine,” Eira said, knowing what was coming.
Her grandmother went to touch the dark hollow under her granddaughter’s eyes before she quickly remembered not to make contact. “You need tea to make you sleep. Not sleeping makes you look old and ugly. Then you’ll never get a husband.”
“Yes, you must get a husband.” Grandpa nodded in firm agreement.
“I do not need a husband,” Eira told them for the millionth time, not taking any offense to how they were raised to believe. “I have you both, anyway.”
“We’re old and ugly,” her grandma stated. “You can do better. You’re still young and beautiful.”
Eira no longer thought of herself as beautiful, but instead of talking about herself, she laughed, taking the topic off her. “That’s not true, Grandma. You’re beautiful.”
Her grandmother didn’t yell this time, speaking in an octave only Eira could hear. “Okay, only he’s gotten old and ugly.”
This time, Eira had to stifle her laughter, not wanting her grandfather to ask what was so funny.
Sitting down, Grandma began filling up her own cup. “You need to go to the market and get things for your tea tonight. We’re all out.”
Eira didn’t doubt they were, but she knew why she really wanted her to go to the market.
Blowing into her hot cup, her grandmother couldn’t help a sly smile. “And tell Kenji I said hello.”
“Yes, you must go get a husband.” Grandpa nodded in firm agreement, revealing his wife’s true intentions, as if they weren’t obvious enough already.
Oh my.
Refraining from rolling her eyes, Eira got up, grabbed her tote, and headed for the door.
“My bones are telling me rain is coming, so don’t be gone long, Eira, I want you hom—”
“Okay, okay, I got it!” she yelled back over her shoulder, in a rush to get going.
Quickly, she headed into town for the little market she frequently visited throughout the week, thanks to her grandmother. It was as if she fully expected her granddaughter to simply bring a husband home one day.
She scoffed, blowing a raspberry. First of all …
If Eira did want to bring home a husband— which I don’t —it wasn’t that easy. It wasn’t like men just fell into your lap . Well, not a good one, anyway. Plus, her grandparents seemed to always forget two things.
Eira looked the way she did, and she did not like to be touched.
Hell, she didn’t know much about having a husband, let alone having a boyfriend, but she was pretty sure looking and/or touching was frequently involved. Therefore, she was destined to die alone. Frankly, she had come to terms with that years ago.
While she used to dream about getting married one day, like most girls, she no longer did. These days, she only dreamed about finding peace.
When she entered the market, she kept her head down, trying to conceal her face as much as she could with her veil of hair as she went through the stands, buying the few things her grandmother needed to make her special bedtime tea.
The worst part was her hair didn’t help much from people staring at her as the color wasn’t common in these parts of the earth. She was just thankful not many people lived in the village, and most were used to the sight of her by now, avoiding eye contact with her as much as possible.
The last thing she needed was a root, and it had the young stand owner smiling from ear to ear when she came to buy one from him.
“Hello, Eira.”
“Hi, Kenji.” She tried her best to smile politely. It was easy at home with her grandparents, but out and with people she didn’t know or trust, it was hard.
“More root again?” he asked, continuing to smile.
“Yes, please.”
When he handed her the wrapped-up root, she knew Kenji was on her grandmother’s side, as he always seemed to give her the smallest bundle so she’d have to come back.
Placing it in her tote with the other things she had accumulated, she pulled out the money and set it on the counter stand, not into his waiting hand. “Grandmother wanted me to tell you hello .”
“In that case, it’s free.” He slid the money back closer to her. “Tell her I hope to see her next time.”
“I will.” Eira forced another small smile, knowing it was pointless to argue with him to keep the money since he always refused it, anyway. It only made their interaction longer. So, instead, she slightly bowed her head. “Thank you.”
“Oh, Eira …”
Kenji’s voice stopped her, and she wondered if today would be the day he had built enough courage to ask her out. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with him, per se, but something about him had her gut flipping into knots. It was probably because everyone avoided her at all costs, so him being interested had her telling herself there must be something wrong with him.
He nervously stared at her for a few moments before he simply just waved. “Have a good day!”
Thankfully, it wasn’t , she thought, waving back. “You, too.”
She headed back home; it was still early when she almost made it to the front door. The sun was still shining beautifully, so much so she didn’t think her grandmother’s bones could possibly be right, making her feel sad that her grandmother really was getting that old. So, she decided to head up the little trail she had started to create with her own footprints over the years.
Eira hiked up the mountainside toward the only place on this earth that made her feel truly safe. You wouldn’t think so by looking at it, as she took a seat on the lush grass at the edge of a treacherous cliff, but it brought a sense of peacefulness to her core. Staring out at the vast world, hundreds of feet high, where the cliff met the drop of the ocean, she suddenly didn’t feel so alone.
That was what she was— a loner , she thought, lying back on the grass beneath her. No, a monster.
She raised her left hand so the sun could shine down on the taut, scorched skin as she twirled it in its rays. Her skin had deeper pink valleys and higher branching veins spanning overtop, like the roots of a tree. The veins had practically turned colorless with time as they glistened in the sun from the burn, taking any little color she actually had in her skin.
As she lay here in the grass, she thought about how some parts of the left side of her body would never tan again. That was one of the things she had loved before the accident—to lie nearly naked in the warm sun, to get sun kissed. But now she lay in it covered almost head to toe, with only her burned hand and face exposed, as they were the only parts that had gotten used to it over time.
It was easier this way, to cover herself completely. Not only was the sun now harsh on her seared skin, but so were people. People were generally unkind, and children unkinder. Especially the ones at the age when she had gotten burned. So, when there had been nothing left for her after she left the hospital nearly a year later but pain, she had decided to move into her grandparents’ home.
It was far from where she had grown up, yet not nearly far enough. Truthfully, there wasn’t much farther than the edge of the sleepy little fishing village she now resided in.
Except for maybe there …
Sitting up on her elbows, she squinted her eyes to view the little, far-off island she could only view from up here that was completely covered in trees. Then, and maybe only then , she just might be far enough. For now, her grandparents’ home that stood toward the base of the mountain would have to do.
Falling back on the grass, Eira stared up into the blue sky. It looked so vast from up here with nothing in the way to obstruct her view. She could almost reach up and …
Raising her hand out of the sun-warmed grass, she reached for the clouds. Alas, her arm wasn’t long enough to touch them.
With disappointment, she let her hand drop back to earth as her lids became heavy. It might not have been the smartest thing to take a nap on the edge of a cliff, but with her eyes coming to a close, it was rare for Eira to find peaceful sleep …
The strangest dream lulled in her mind, and she would later swear it felt as real as when she was awake. She was dreaming of herself trapped in another body, one of a scarred girl named Chloe, when the nightmares of another life caused her to jolt awake.
Suddenly rising, she looked out at the edge of the cliff and into the beautiful water that the sun was setting upon, the blue sky now orange. It was a different, breathtakingly beautiful place altogether than when she had fallen asleep.
The fear of the nightmares that weren’t hers left her body and only returned at the sudden deep voice she heard from behind her.
“Hey—”
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