chapter 101
I didn’t know what happened when lives split.
Couldn’t imagine sitting in this bedroom and packing up my things.
I didn’t have much, not that was just mine and not ours.
Some memorabilia from my ball girl days that Tobey had framed and mounted.
A few things in the baby’s room … the shrine that still sat, two rooms away, neither of us able to bear the task of returning it to a study.
After I left, I was sure he would. I was sure he’d take my library and turn it into a cigar room.
Would probably have the gardeners tear out my orchids and replace them with something else.
Something without memories. I would do all of that, if I were him.
I would burn this place to the ground without a moment’s guilt.
I had less than a week left in this house.
Not enough, yet hundreds of hours too long.
I walked through the library, my hand drifting over the spines, thousands of hardcovers—some read, some not.
I spent most evenings in this room, Tobey off with the guys, me with my plots and heroines.
Fell into other worlds, Chase seen in every hero, his build in every description, his touch in every sexual scene.
He had rescued me from burning buildings, solved murders, and seduced me a hundred ways.
I smiled, thinking of all of the times I had pictured actual sex with Chase and expected it would fall short, my expectations that of the bestselling erotica variety.
But he hadn’t fallen short. He had been a hundred thousand times better. As a teenager, he had corrupted me. As a woman, he had ruined me.
I heard steps behind me and turned, Tobey in the doorway, smiling at me. “One win down.”
“Yeah.” I smiled as widely as I could manage. We had barely eked out a win the night before, the Cubs leading up until the last inning.
He glanced at his watch. “You ready? We should leave soon.”
I nodded. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”
He glanced around the room. “Need more bookshelves? I can have that wall blown out, if you don’t mind sawdust and construction for a few months.”
A few months. The guilt was climbing up my chest, clawing into my heart with long nails. “I’m fine,” I said faintly.
“You feeling okay?” He looked at me closely. “You’ve been quiet.”
“Just nerves,” I said quickly. “We’re so close.”
“I know.” He smiled. “I’m ready to bring that trophy home. Already had them prepare a spot in the cabinet for it.”
“Great!” The response came out too loud, too forced, and he studied me for a moment before nodding.
“I’ll be downstairs. Let’s try to leave in the next ten minutes, okay?”
“Yeah.” I turned away from him and straightened a bookend. When I heard him leave, I jogged upstairs, wanting to check my email before we left.