Chapter 8
ENTER THE EX
LANEY
“None for me, thanks.”
I waved away what had to be the seventh offer of wine or champagne that night. I had to give it to Chiswick, the trendy farm-to-table eatery in Georgetown hosting Megan and Kevin’s rehearsal dinner. The service was excellent, even bordering on annoying.
The entire bridal party, along with a good smattering of Megan and Kevin’s closest friends and family, made for a merry group. At least forty people filled the back half of the restaurant, where we were enjoying passed canapés and champagne before sitting down for a three-course feast.
Given the fact that Megan and I had known each other since we were in diapers, that also meant that a good number of the people in this room had known me just as long. Which also meant they knew me when I was engaged to the trash bag who had been eyeing me all night.
“So, Laney, tell me, how’s your mom and dad?”
I sighed and took another sip of my club soda, wishing my heart could handle a little vodka.
This conversation had been going one of two ways for most of the evening.
People either knew what had befallen my family (and my social life) over the past few years and were terribly sad about it, or I had to make them sad by telling them the story.
Bracing myself for pity and possibly even tears, I bared my teeth in a rueful smile. “Actually, my mom passed last year. Cancer. Dad’s doing all right since he moved to Arizona.”
Megan’s aunt—or maybe it was her second cousin—clapped a manicured hand to her mouth in shock. “Oh, you poor thing! I had no idea!”
How would you? I wanted to ask. We’ve only met in passing at the occasional birthday party or graduation. You barely knew me or my parents, and certainly not enough for those crocodile tears.
Instead, however, I smiled politely and accepted a perfumed-soaked hug while others looked on with varying expressions of pity and curiosity.
“Laney.”
I was released from the woman’s grasp at the sound of a familiar deep voice beside us.
“Excuse me, Gladys.” Derek Schlossberg—otherwise known as the spawn of Satan—turned his trademark grin on the woman, who was apparently named Gladys. “I have to steal the maid of honor. Bridal party stuff.”
I might have been grateful for my ex’s intervention if I hadn’t sworn to hate him for all eternity.
Gladys fanned herself in response. “Of course, you charmer. Laney, lovely to see you. Things will look up. You’ll see.”
I allowed Derek to escort me to the other side of the room. It was only when we were near the punchbowl and well out of Gladys’s eyeline that I yanked my arm out of his greasy clutch. “That’s enough.”
“You could try some gratitude. I figured you’ve given that little update enough tonight.” He smirked. “Plus, death is kind of a downer.”
God. It was just like him to take a simple favor and hold a person hostage for it.
“I might be grateful if you didn’t immediately turn it into a guilt trip,” I said. “But I don’t need rescuing. Least of all from you.”
“Oh, I definitely don’t need reminding about that.”
I only just managed not to glare. Derek looked around with a bland expression.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if he weren’t legitimately handsome. Women were supposed to glow up after a breakup. Men were supposed to grow spare tires and wallow in Cheeto dust and wrinkled laundry.
Unfortunately, Derek looked better than ever. My ex was like a Bridget Jones-era Hugh Grant minus the accent, complete with the trim build, floppy hair, and boyish grin that fooled everyone out of realizing he was a narcissist. Including me, for eight whole years.
Now, however, I actually felt immune to the charms that had trapped me for so long (and broken my heart).
“So, Kev said you didn’t make it back to the room at the bachelorette party.” He openly leered down the front of my dress.
A quick glance made sure the draped neckline wasn’t showing anything more than it was supposed to.
Then I glared until he shrugged and looked away.
I hadn’t allowed Megan to style me for this party, opting instead for my own clothes.
That meant my frock, like almost everything else in my wardrobe that wasn’t from Mom’s shop, was simple and functional.
This one was one of my favorites, a swishy black slip dress from the nineties that I’d found at Goodwill that I’d paired with a pair of strappy red sandals.
“Didn’t know you had it in you,” Derek was now surveying the small crowd, as if I were a canapé he’d considered and passed on. “Some guy you picked up at a club, Laney? Are you that desperate for attention?”
A server walked by with a tray of crab puffs on rye. I grabbed one, if only for something to do. “What I did or did not do at the bachelorette party is none of your business.”
Derek chuckled and went back to ogling me. “Can’t say I blame him, whoever he was. I don’t remember you looking this good when we were together.”
“That’s probably because you were too busy screwing other women.”
“Meow. I see the claws are out too.” He still didn’t stop trying to get a peek at my cleavage. “Seriously, you didn’t, like, get your tits done, did you?”
I smiled through my teeth at Megan’s grandmother, who was waving at me across the room, and spoke through my teeth. “You are so lucky I care enough about Megan not to make a scene; otherwise, you’d have my drink running down your face. Go hump someone else’s leg, Derek.”
“As brutal as ever. Think you’ll ever forgive me, little squirrel?”
It wasn’t the most creative nickname, considering he’d chosen it for the color of my hair. But where it used to make me feel precious, maybe even loved, now it just made me recoil.
“Why don’t we start with getting through this wedding and never seeing each other again,” I said with another sip of my drink, again wishing it were vodka. Or maybe tequila.
The next time a server passed by with another tray of champagne flutes, I grabbed one and downed half. Screw my heart and my lack of decent health insurance. Mother Theresa couldn’t make it through this conversation without a little help.
“Should you really be doing that?” Derek asked.
“Yet again, none of your business,” I snapped.
“And you wonder why we didn’t work out. Bitchy and a bad heart. Where’s the fun in that?”
Before I could come up with my most scathing reply, we were interrupted by the tinkle of metal on glass.
The party fell quiet as everyone turned to the front of the room. Megan and Kevin stood together while Kevin clinked a spoon against his champagne glass a few more times.
I had to admit it. My best friend looked radiant, and her fiancé was looking at her with stars in his eyes. I’d always liked Kevin, even if he was Derek’s best friend. He thought the sun shone specifically for Megan.
“I am so glad you’re all here!” Megan couldn’t stop giggling. My best friend was truly ecstatic. “The restaurant has asked me to let everyone know that dinner will be served momentarily. But first, I want to give a shout out to my bridal party, and especially to my best friend, Laney Fisher.”
All eyes turned to me, and I did my best to smile while batting Derek’s hand off my waist. He loved the spotlight; I’d always avoided it. Just one more reason I should have known we’d never work out.
“Laney,” Megan continued, smiling over at me.
“You’re the best friend a girl could have.
If it wasn’t for you, I’d be a total disaster.
You’re incredibly loyal and kind and considerate and thoughtful and so caring.
You’re beautiful and smart. I can’t wait to introduce our not-yet-conceived children to their godmother in a few years. ”
The crowd laughed, and I felt tears spring to my eyes. I loved Megan with all my heart, even if she had already been a bit of a Bridezilla. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over spending seven solid hours helping her try on wedding dresses.
“She’s right, you know,” Derek murmured in my ear. “You are all of those things.”
As if he hadn’t just called me a bitch minutes before.
His hand slipped around my waist, clinging even when I tried to shake it away without making a scene.
“I love you, Laney,” Megan called. “Thank you for helping me pick out my dress and decorations and listening to my every thought about it all, thank you for melting away every worry I had leading up to today, and thank you in advance for helping me get through tomorrow. You’re the best friend a girl could ever ask for. ”
She lifted her glass, and everyone in the room followed suit. “To Laney!”
Derek lifted his own glass, leering again. “To Laney.”
I elbowed him, most likely a little harder than was strictly necessary. His hand remained on my hip for a moment more before dropping when Megan arrived with the bridesmaids.
“Thanks, Megs.” I accepted a hug.
“I know you hate being the center of attention, but I had to. You’re just the best.”
“I love you too, you dork.”
Then Kennedy, Madison, and Reagan all cooed around us before Reagan gazed adoringly up at Derek.
“Maybe this will be us one day, D,” she said with a grin.
Megan frowned before mouthing “What?” to me. I shrugged. I had no idea.
Derek looked bored. “I doubt it.”
“Asshole,” Kennedy muttered to Madison.
Reagan, however, didn’t seem to mind as she flipped her hair over her shoulder. “That’s not what you said last year…”
And with a wink my way, she and the other two sorority sisters flounced off through the crowd, leaving me, Megan, and Derek as an awkward trio.
I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t manage anything.
Derek smirked.
Megan looked liked she was having an epiphany in real time. “Wait… last year… does that mean… Derek, was Reagan the one who…”
I crossed my arms. “Sounds like there was more than one, Megs. Unless Reagan was also the medical assistant Derek screwed in the supply closet in the cancer ward.”
“Hey, babe, they want us to—whoa.” Kevin appeared beside us. “Megs, are you okay?”
Megan whirled around. “Kev, did you know?”
Kevin blinked and held his hands up. “Know what, babe?”
“That Derek cheated on Laney with Reagan last year?”
Derek, conveniently, was just studying his nails. Asshole.
“Megs, it really doesn’t matter…” I started.
Kevin was just backing away. “I didn’t know, babe. I swear to God, I didn’t know.” Then, to Derek: “Really, dude?”
Per usual, Derek seemed to lack a conscience whatsoever. “Hey, it’s not cheating when we had broken up. It was at your engagement party. Reagan was very good at soothing my broken heart.”
“Your broken heart!” I shook my head and turned to Megan. “Megs, I need to go.”
“Laney,” Megan started. “Please don’t go. I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know it was—”
“It’s fine,” I told her. “You did nothing wrong. I just need some space. But it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it doesn’t matter,” Derek put in. “I slept with one of the bridesmaids. She’s running off with strangers in nightclubs. Potato, po-tah-to.”
That was it.
I turned and shoved a finger into his chest. “I’ve had enough, you pompous prick. Megs, I’m sorry, but I can’t anymore.”
My friend just waved me on. “Have at it. If you don’t, I will.”
“Babe, please…” Kevin whined.
“We’re done, you dick,” I snapped at Derek.
“We were done the second you chose to keep playing tennis instead of taking care of me when my mom got sick. And we were over completely when you started parking your pecker in someone else’s garage while I helped her through chemo.
And that means you no longer have the right to know anything or comment about anything in my personal life. ”
As if to make my point, I grabbed a pass crab puff and shoved it in my mouth.
Derek just rolled his eyes. “Laney, calm down. There’s no need to get ugly just because you’re jealous.”
“Jealous?” I nearly choked on a mouthful of crab, only just managing to get it down. “You smug bastard. As if I could possibly be jealous of you—”
“Come on now. Don’t cause a scene.”
It was everything I could do not to explode at him.
“I know it’s hard being single at these things. But don’t worry. You’ll find someone.”
“Actually, she already has someone. A husband, in fact.”
That was when we all turned to discover Ronan Black, standing by my side like he had been there all night. Like had no intention of going anywhere soon.
Like he belonged there.