24. Bianca
I”ve finally admitted to Theo a truth about myself. At least this is a truth he can live with.
It”s weird though, I hadn”t thought about Jenna, my former nanny, even once in quite a few years.
Over time, I”ve grown increasingly frustrated that I”d chosen poison to dispatch her. She should have suffered far worse for what she”d done. The regrets have piled up for years, always thinking of how I could have tortured her and made her pay. It”s also probably why a lot of my assignments during those years had been child molesters. I”ve been able to choose some of my targets based on those specific criteria. Every person I”ve killed during that time has been a stand-in for Jenna. They haven”t gotten a quick death, but a long, drawn-out one.
For the first time ever, I prefer blades to guns for their ability to inflict consistent damage and pain.
The most extended bout of torture lasted eighty days. Eighty days in which I made sure that the predator rued the day he first looked upon a child. Eighty days in which I removed all semblance of humanity from him, stripped him of his skin in small stripes, and turned it into a canvas on which I”d carved his sins. Eighty days that he”d survived on IVs and emergency interventions because why should he die faster?
Vlad had put a stop to my overboard activities when I”d spent hours trying to resuscitate the scum just so I could hurt him more.
I was a monster, but I made no excuses.
Theo, though? He”s kept my demons at bay.
Being with him has somehow freed me of Jenna”s ghost. And now, it”s just something that had happened to me. It”s in the past.
After telling him the circumstances of Jenna”s death, he takes me into his arms and tries to comfort me.
Again, strange.
I haven”t said this to him so that he”ll comfort me. I want him to know I”m not entirely a savage. I don”t just kill indiscriminately.
He holds me into his arms for what seemed like forever until I suggest we leave.
”I don”t want to be here any longer than needed.”
It isn”t until we”re finally home that he opens up about what was discussed in the study.
”So wait, they want you to get them a meeting with the mayor?”
”Yes. They know I have a close relationship with him and that he was a friend of my parents.”
”I”m so sorry, Theo. I never knew my father would go so far.”
I”m sitting at the table in the kitchen, a cup of hot chocolate in my hands. After making his own coffee, he joins me at the table.
”I can”t say it was totally unexpected.”
”What do you mean?”
”B, don”t tell me you”ve never known your father was involved in illegal stuff.”
”I mean yeah, sure, I had my suspicions, but I never once believed he would force you into this. Especially by blackmailing you… And it”s all my fault.”
”It”s okay. I told you, we”ll get through this. But I have to ask…”
”Yes?” I look up into his eyes, and he hesitates slightly.
”What else does he have on you?” Of course, he would ask that. I remember my father hinting at lots of other skeletons in my closet.
”Would you believe me if I told you I don”t know? Even with Jenna, my nanny, I had no idea he even knew that I poisoned her.”
Theo is pensive for a while before speaking. ”We have to find out everything he has on you; otherwise, we”ll be at his mercy indefinitely.”
I nod.
”I”ll do that. It”s my mess, and I”ll be the one to fix it. But… just don”t leave me. I couldn”t bear if you left me, Theo.” His hand comes on top of mine, and he squeezes.
”I seem to have a very increased tolerance to things when it comes to you, B… Just… don”t betray me.”
”I could never betray you, Theo. Always for you and with you, never against you.”
My assurances flow from my mouth, hoping they”re enough to convince him, especially now when things are so precarious. If killing those people would solve the problem, I would do it in a heartbeat.
But even I can recognize that murder isn”t the solution in this particular scenario. The best we can hope for is to play them at their own games.
”We can”t just let them walk all over us,” I add, hoping he already has a plan.
”One step at a time. I”m going to have to talk to Marcel about this, get his angle too.”
”Are you sure? Do you trust him?” It”s not that I don”t know who Marcel is to Theo, but this information is too sensitive.
”Of course. I”d trust Marcel with my life. Besides, two minds can work better than one.”
”Three, you”re forgetting me!”
”B, I don”t want you involved in this. You could get hurt.”
”You could too! And it”s my fault you”re involved in this in the first place. I won”t stand by and watch you strut in the den of wolves by yourself.” He sighs deeply.
”Fine! But don”t do anything without talking to me first. Don”t think I didn”t see how Enzo was eating you up with his eyes.”
”Deal! And don”t worry. Enzo and I have reached an understanding,” I say as I stand to put my mug in the sink.
Theo grabs me suddenly. ”What understanding?” His voice is tense, and if I didn”t think the situation was dire enough, I might have teased him for being jealous.
”Down, boy. He understood that I”m not interested. Although I have to say the dynamic between him and his wife was entirely off,” I add my observation.
”She”s sleeping with Martin.”
”What?” I let out a scream.
”I”m fairly sure of it. Enzo doesn”t care, though.”
”Why do you think they”re sleeping together? I didn”t see any signs during dinner.”
”Except them sitting next to each other?” he asks, and I have to agree that it was unusual. ”It was also something Enzo told Martin when we left. He said to remind Allegra that their son has a piano recital on Thursday. It seems she”s staying with your father.”
”Good Lord,” I mutter, suddenly overwhelmed by the many surprises of the day. Who would have thought? Allegra was a beautiful woman, but with my father? Ew. What she sees in that cold reptile is beside me.
”That reminds me. What do you make of the Irishmen?” I ask him, suddenly remembering Quinn”s interest in Theo.
”Truthfully…” Theo starts, ”I couldn”t say which ones are more dangerous, the Agostis or the Gallaghers.”
”Did you hear about them in Boston?” As far as I knew, Theo had spent a considerable amount of time in Boston before and during college.
”Not really, but then again, we didn”t move in the same circles.”
”It was odd that Quinn said you looked familiar.”
”Who knows…” He leaves it hanging, but somehow, I”m not convinced. Both Quinn and his father are men of very few words. If anything, the fact that he”d spoken that question aloud means there”s something behind it.
But I can”t dig any further. Theo is clearly not comfortable with the subject.