Chapter 13 Whisky and Wisdom #2
In the flicker of the fire, Seamus and Patrick locked eyes.
Knowing their romance almost ended with a gunshot, I couldn’t help but admire them.
Fraught with complications, they should have walked away from one another.
Patrick expanded his sexuality for this stoic hermit.
Seamus let this goofball invade his life. It shouldn’t work, and yet it did.
I feared dinner would be filled with asinine small talk.
Patrick made sure it was anything but. They knew about my first tattoo.
Nick talked about living with Lacie’s chaos.
Whenever silence threatened to interrupt our casserole, Patrick jumped in and fended it off like an expert swordsman.
Despite the laughs and head shaking at dirty jokes, staring across the table, Nick seemed withdrawn.
“What made you come back?” I surprised myself as the words slipped out.
We retreated outside, coffee cups filled with hot cocoa. While Patrick entertained, Seamus built a fire like an expert. When he broke out the flint, I knew he was showing off. I wonder if he and Pops had exchanges like this, quiet competitions showing off their survival skills.
In the warm orange light dancing across his face, the stare…
the stare toward Seamus said everything.
It radiated warmth even the fire would envy.
To my right, Nick sat in his Adirondack chair, both hands clutching his mug of cocoa.
When he caught me staring, he’d flash a smile.
He should be in his element amongst friends, and yet, he didn’t have the same carefree gleam he had in the woods.
“I owed him.”
Seamus huffed.
“It’s true,” Patrick snapped. “It all changed with a dance.”
“Duke can do that.”
I didn’t follow the inside joke between them.
I didn’t need to. The moment Patrick mentioned the dance, Seamus’s steely exterior melted away.
When I looked to my side, even Nick had a soft smile.
It was hard to not admire these two and their oddities.
On paper, everything about their relationship should be filled with red flags.
In practice, they exchanged tenderness without hesitation.
Patrick shot out of his chair, holding up his cup. “I think it’s time to get more cocoa. Anybody else?” I offered Patrick my empty mug. Nick inspected his before shaking his head. “Seamus?”
His partner shook his head.
“Can you give me a hand inside?”
“You can—”
“Seamus. Buddy. Pal. Come inside and help me.”
Seamus muttered under his breath as he clambered to his feet. “He wants you kids to have alone time.” He patted my shoulder as he walked between our chairs.
“Subtle,” Patrick whispered. “What have I told you about…”
The hush of night swept in. Every pop and hiss from the fire roared. Staring across the field, I tried to find the split in the woods we had walked through days before. I couldn’t see it, but in the pit of my stomach, I could feel its call.
“I hated camping.” It was meant for me as much as for Nick. I could hear the lame excuses I used to give Pops. He’d stand in my door, somehow mustering hope that I’d cave and say yes. He never let the hurt show on his face, but I suspected it was there.
“It was my dad’s passion. At one point, I thought he only came home because of Mum and me. If it weren’t for us, he’d have run off with a forest nymph.”
“I would have never guessed.”
Leaning forward, I dragged my chair around until we faced one another. I wanted to gawk at this handsome man while the light of the fire made him glow. It wasn’t cuddling for warmth, but it still tied knots in my stomach. Were we going through a similar rough start that our hosts once experienced?
“Can I ask you a question?”
Most folks asked, not caring about the answer. That weight he carried when we first met had returned. I couldn’t throw him over my shoulder and take him into the woods for some nature therapy. I could at least be a friend.
He nodded.
“I know life is rough right now.” I shared that reality. If we had just met, this would be invading his personal space. After a naked night and hand-holding, it felt natural. “But are you okay?”
He shrugged. Something had happened. This wasn’t the Nick from the bakery. “It’s nothing.”
Nobody said that and meant it. “I’m here if you want to talk.”
I leaned forward, mustering my best empathetic face.
We had left my comfort zone. He wasn’t a client I could tell to suck it up.
What ate away at Nick wasn’t physical pain, and somehow that made it worse.
A broken bone I could splint. Inner demons?
Those couldn’t be vanquished with a well-placed snare.
“I saw a photo of him.” The venom in the word him made it clear we were talking about an ex.
“He’s dating one of my closest friends.” Slumped shoulders.
Dipped head. Sorrow. “He knows exactly what happened and then… I shouldn’t be surprised.
They deserve each other. Every good… it just vanishes. Yet again, the curse strikes.”
“Ouch.” This explained the distance this evening. I’d find it hard to have a good time if I found out somebody in my inner circle betrayed my trust. If I had words that could drag him from the misery, I’d form them. With the landslide of shit that had come his way, I’d believe myself cursed.
“I just need to admit this is the way it is.” How did you argue with a belief in bad karma that had never been earned? “Lacie thought coming here would break it.”
He glanced in my direction, and as his eyes softened, I realized that in his mind I had become part of the cosmic force dragging him through hell. I was another casualty of his curse. If I reached out, took him by the hand, could I be the lifeline that pulled him to safety?
I froze. Every muscle tensed.
“I’m going to head back.” He got up and flashed a smile. Pleasantries that didn’t reflect his tone. “I’m sure we’ll bump into one another.”
I held still, unable to move forward. Our encounters could be counted on a single hand.
I didn’t want to intrude. Nick had opened up at his own pace, and I wanted to give him the space he needed to sort through this mess.
Or… at least that’s what I told myself. If I wrapped my arms around him now, I’d be admitting I wanted something more than a chance encounter.
He walked away while I stewed in my insecurities.
Just like that, he vanished inside the house. I didn’t know if I should be offended, angry, concerned, or… I fought the urge to follow. Nick needed space to grapple with life. I hoped he walked away knowing I cared.
I turned the chair around, resting my feet on the bricks around the fire.
A log broke in half, sending embers into the sky.
I don’t think I’d think of a campfire the same since our overnight.
The first time I returned to the woods, and the experience might as well have been etched in stone. I wanted to see that Nick again.
Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my phone. I didn’t have the luxury of planning. I did what I always do, I acted.
Charlie: Interested in being a chaperone with the gremlins?
Charlie: Clothes required.
Charlie: Mostly.
A twig snapped behind me. I jumped to my feet. I don’t know what I expected, but my heart sank when I spotted Seamus with two coffee cups. He handed me one before taking the adjacent seat. Scouring the field between here and the house, I hoped Nick had gotten my message and turned around.
Defeated, I returned to my seat.
With the first sip, I realized my hot cocoa had been swapped for whisky. It forced a cough as it burned down my throat. When I came up for air, I had to smile. I recognized the whisky I had gifted Seamus.
Thanks to the fire… or the whisky, my toes had warmed.
I watched Seamus, the way his eyes gleamed from the dying fire.
He fell somewhere between rugged and dashing.
For a moment, I swore I could see Pops sitting there.
I preferred that image over the sight of him in a hospital bed.
How well had they known one another? Had they sat here drinking whisky, enjoying the silence?
“Want advice?”
Seamus wielded words as if they were finite.
When I glanced over, he had his eyes fixed on the fire.
He didn’t pay me any attention. I waited for him to offer advice, regardless.
He didn’t speak another word as he sipped his whisky.
If silence were a game, I played to win.
Against Seamus? I’m not sure I’d emerge the victor.
“Yeah.”
He took another sip. I wouldn’t say it aloud, but I could use some advice from the elder male variety. My life needed guidance that would reveal a path forward and set me loose. It seemed as if everything was up and the air, and something… anything would be a welcome perspective.
“Go.”
“Huh?”
“To him.”
Oh, dating advice. “Nick needs his space.”
Seamus huffed. “I said the same thing.” Seamus didn’t smile often. I wondered if we hid behind stoic faces for similar reasons. The only time it cracked was when he looked at Patrick. His lips almost touched his ears. “He didn’t listen.”
I didn’t want to intrude and suffocate. The thought held firm, a barrier preventing me from moving forward. I hadn’t noticed my finger tracing the same line on my thigh that Nick had.
Had Seamus shown me the path? Why didn’t I run? What if—
“Is the space for him? Or you?”
Seamus didn’t just reveal a path; he stood behind me and landed a toe in the crack of my ass. After that first kiss, I wondered “what if?” We shared a moment in the woods. But the next step? Admitting that I wanted more—
I stood. “Thanks.”
Seamus nodded. “Pops would be proud.”
He reached over, taking my mug and pouring it into his. He didn’t offer another word. I knew the path. Across the field. Through the house. Into my car. Into town. The front door of Valhalla. I’d figure it out from there. It only required—
I took the first step across the field.