A Little Bit of Country
A LITTLE BIT OF COUNTRY
Chris: Bobby, we need to talk ASAP.
Bobby: I hear Dad invited you to dinner.
Chris: How much am I screwing up your life?
Bobby: Screwing up? I’ve gotten two muffin baskets to celebrate.
Bobby: At this rate, I won’t fit in my overalls.
Chris: You could just go without them :)
Bobby: One way or another, we’ll talk tonight.
His last text appeared ominous. I knew we had to talk about damage control, but I couldn’t stop imagining him with his overalls around his ankles. Though the thought of him nuzzling behind me, his arm holding me in place, wasn’t a bad thought either. Bobby, what the heck were you doing to me?
“You made it!”
I stood at the entrance to the theater. It wasn’t big but held a respectable two hundred seats. There were kids everywhere on the stage, none of them rehearsing. A kid was on all fours wearing a dark fur pelt, and jumping up at a girl wearing pixie wings. Sets always looked like chaos until the director wrangled the actors, but this nearly gave me an anxiety attack.
“Kids in school on a Saturday? It seems like this play is a big deal.”
“Yeah, it is.” Laurel’s hair had been pinned in a bun, but with every step, it fell out. I respected teachers, but with the tired expression on her face, I would rather do my own stunts. “Not that I needed the extra pressure. Last thing I need is the whole town giving me grief.”
“What exactly do you need from me?”
Her jaw was slack, and her eyes were barely in focus. “Everything?”
First suggestion, Laurel needed to switch to decaf and get a massage. I turned her around and guided her down the aisle toward the stage. As we got closer, I thought the kids would turn around and start with the shock and awe of an actor. Consider me humbled when I cleared my throat, and they looked at me and then went back to their conversations.
“Direction seats,” Laurel yelled.
The kids froze. When she didn’t back down, all the kids moved to the edge of the stage, plopping down. Except for Nana—the kid playing the Darlings’ dog remained in character, barking his approval. Method acting—I supported his dedication to the role.
“We have a real-life actor from Hollywood here.”
I gave a wave. They were more brutal than the New York Times movie critic. Their eyes were less than impressed. If I came in with an ego, two dozen pairs of eyes put me in my place. All except for Nana, who arfed a few times. I’d take it as approval.
“Your director asked me to come in and see if I could help.” Don’t let them smell fear. If I flinched, I was pretty sure they’d drag me into a dark corner, and I’d never be found again. “Do you think you could run a couple of scenes? I’d love to see how awesome you all are.”
“I am awesome,” said the future diva with pixie wings.
“Let’s start with the first scene in Neverland. And Eric, can we not shoot Wendy with a real arrow again?”
A boy’s face turned red as he hid inside his shirt. “Sorry,” he said.
“What about us?” Three boys at the end of the row were wearing tunics. I didn’t need to ask; we had Hook, Mr. Smee, and one of their pirate crew. The kid with a fake beard had me cracking a smile.
“Can you help with the set painting? We’ll run your scene next.”
The kids hopped to their feet. I spotted a teenager in the background helping usher the kids to their starting locations. Laurel needed all the help she could get. How did teachers control their classrooms? I followed her to a seat, where she handed me a clipboard and notebook.
“You’re officially part of the team.”
“I… uh…”
“Too late. I’m not letting you go. You’re the only other adult here. These kids are going to eat me alive.”
“Aren’t you a teacher?”
“Theater kids.” Her eyes widened. “They’re at a different level.”
I wondered if my directors said that about me. Did they walk to their trailers and breathe a sigh of relief that I wasn’t mangling a script or making suggestions? When I got back to the house, I’d need to send some thank-you emails.
The lone teen chased Nana across the stage. “No matter how it goes, they are cute.” I grabbed the pen from the clipboard and flipped open the notebook. If Laurel needed help, I’d do my best to give some feedback. I bet, more than anything, she needed confidence that she had it under control. I’d give the kids a pep talk, and then she’d get her own.
“Bobby?”
I leaned forward, holding the clipboard up to block the stage lights. I couldn’t be sure it was him, not while he hid behind a collection of cardboard trees. What were the chances I’d bump into him at a play? Okay… after being here for a while, I understood the foolishness of that question.
“It is.”
Bobby had green paint smeared across his face, streaking his beard. He wore a baseball cap backward, and I couldn’t ignore my pulse quickening. I wanted to see him in his element, being the lovable man everybody spoke about.
The trio of pirates helped him carry the fake foliage across the stage. When he got in line behind Captain Hook, trees high above his head, I stifled a laugh. He might outweigh them, but Bobby was a big kid.
“Really? Gawking?”
I turned to see Laurel’s face contorted in disgust. It surprised me I’d get a reaction like that from a younger woman. Meanwhile, the three senior citizens in the park celebrated my relationship. It was bound to happen.
“I can gawk at whoever I want.”
“You—”
“Besides, that’s a mighty fine-looking man up there.”
She retched as if she might hurl. Okay, I expected some pushback in a small town. It wouldn’t taint my experience, but I wouldn’t let this stand.
“What’s your?—”
“Ew. That’s my brother.”
No. I had a better chance of winning the Maine State Lottery… without a ticket. There was no way I fell into a trap with Abraham and now wedged my foot in my mouth with Laurel. I was about to stand and ask if any of the kids were his third cousin twice removed… I think that’s how that worked.
She shivered. “Somebody finds my brother… my big brother, attractive?” She shook her head, refusing to accept it. “Is this going to be how it goes when you come over for dinner?”
“You…” I wanted to ask how she knew about dinner, but I had learned to bite my tongue. Abraham could have texted her the moment I turned my back. Though, after meeting the trio of men, I bet Walter or Harvey had whipped out their phones to partake in the town gossip.
“It might be.” I couldn’t help but admire him as he danced about, holding paintbrushes high above his assistants. “You have to admit, he’s quite the handsome man.”
She didn’t gag at the comment. “I’m going to avoid thinking of the two of you in a sweaty heap swapping spit.” Well, that got graphic. “But since you showed up… he’s been different.”
I hardly knew the man, and we hadn’t spent a lot of time together. Was he playing up the relationship like me? After talking to Abraham, I got the impression that this ruse benefited both of us. He had done me a solid favor, and if I could return the gesture, I would.
“How so?”
“Nicky, stop licking Jonas.” Teachers deserved all the money in the world. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve seen him smile? I didn’t know he had those muscles. Having you around is good for him.”
I made him smile? I put a hand to my chest, leaning back in my chair. When was the last time I made somebody smile? Sure, I entertained people in movies, but this had nothing to do with my notoriety. To be fair, he had the same effect on me. Bobby had opened a can of paint and had the tiny pirates working on the tree trunks.
“He makes me smile, too.” It wasn’t a lie.
“Of course, now I need to give you the obligatory little sister speech.”
“I’d expect nothing less.”
“If you hurt my brother, I will track you down and string you up by your ankles.”
“Heard.”
She shook her head. “You don’t seem to understand. I’ve been hunting with my dad since I could lift a rifle. I can track deer in a snowstorm. Anybody who hurts my brother should be scared.”
Well, when she put it like that, yes, I was scared. “Also… heard… ma’am.”
She gave me a quick pat on the thigh. “Good. Now stop undressing my brother with your eyes, and let’s make sure Pan doesn’t fall off the stage… again.”
I wanted to focus on the kids, but I couldn’t help but glance at Bobby. His laughter cut through the auditorium. Yes, the thought of him naked always wandered back into my head. Hearing his father and sister talk about him, he continued turning into more than a distracting romp. Who was this man that the town loved? Maybe it was time I found out more about my boyfriend.
“We’re taking it from the top,” Laurel shouted.
I scribbled ‘Notes’ across the top of my notebook. Let’s make some magic.
I gave another wave as a kid climbed into his mom’s car. They had proven themselves to be a complete disaster. They forgot lines and entrance cues, and I’m pretty sure Tinkerbell bit one of the Lost Boys. Despite the chaos, I hadn’t realized how much I enjoyed sitting on that side of the stage. I gave them pep talks, suggested some homework, and, most of all, got them excited to be on stage. I never thought of myself as a director, but I tucked away that spark of excitement.
“Bye, Mr. Wilde,” shouted Ben, our charismatic Mr. Smee. In the backseat, our Tinkerbell shot me a death glare. I really owed all my former directors a fruit basket.
“They love you.” Bobby stood behind me, letting me hide the smile. “Except for Lacy, but I don’t think she likes anybody. At least she didn’t bite you.”
“I hope that girl has her shots.” When he put a hand on the small of my back, it’d be impossible to hide the smile. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
“You’ve been busy.” He let out a soft chuckle. “I’m not sure I want to ask why my dad is insisting I invite you over for dinner. And Laurel… I haven’t seen her that calm in years. Did she threaten to kill you?”
“It wasn’t a threat,” I said.
“Don’t worry, her aim isn’t as good as she says.”
My eyes went wide as I turned to him. “In that case, I’m not worried at all.” I wanted to kiss him. Not in an undress-him kind of way. Well, not entirely. Seeing him working with the kids, joking with them as they created the set, there was something endearing about it. Every time I bumped into the man, I understood why the town cherished him.
I had spent the day learning about him from other people, and I realized I hadn’t heard it from the source. This needed to change.
“Tell me something about you.” Nope, not graceful at all.
“What do you want to know?”
The last car left the front of the school. All the actors had left for the afternoon. Laurel had vanished, claiming papers wouldn’t grade themselves. It left me alone with Bobby, and I didn’t want to waste the opportunity.
“Tell me something you think I should know.”
“My family is crazy.”
“You’re a little late for that one.”
He ran his hand through his hair as he pursed his lips. Bobby didn’t seem to be a man of many words, but when he spoke, he did it with intent. Watching him nervously stroking his beard, I wished I could hear the thoughts grinding away.
“Want to see something?”
I raised an eyebrow. “On school property?”
“Put a pin in that fantasy. Come on, I want to show you something.”
Bobby could be a serial killer, but at least he’d be a cute one. I followed him to his truck, and he kindly opened the door for me. A man with manners—it had become a novel concept. A minute later, we were driving out of the school parking lot and heading through town.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise,” he shot me a wink. The radio filled the silence with country music, and I watched as Bobby mouthed along to the song. We passed through town and headed to the outskirts. Within a mile, it was as if we were out in the country. I knew little beyond Firefly, but it appeared there wasn’t much to know. Hills, trees, and a few cows, but what stood out were the mountains so close I thought we might walk to their base.
When we pulled onto a dirt road, I worried. “Are we going to fall off the planet?”
“Sort of,” he said. “You wanted to know something about me. There’s no better place than here.”
If we had taken my car, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t have survived the trip. The uneven ground had me bouncing around in my seat. Where exactly was ‘here’? The trees had moved so close together they were creating a shadow across the ground. Further up, I spotted a clearing with trees lying about the ground as if they had been left where they fell.
“We have arrived.”
The moment he put the truck into park, his demeanor changed. He opened the door and took a deep breath, savoring the scent of… pine? It came in waves, unlike anything I had ever experienced. Candle stores attempted, but they couldn’t come close to the real thing. Underneath the overpowering smell of pine needles came wet earth. By the time I got out of the truck, Bobby was standing in the clearing.
We had entered his world.
As I walked past a log, I could see the burn marks created by whatever cut it down. Some still had the stumps left in the ground, others appeared to have been dragged. When I stood next to him, I spotted a dark green tarp with cinder blocks holding it in place.
“Wait.” I eyed the man. “Did you cut down these trees?”
“Impressed?”
“Hell, yes. I haven’t cut grass in a decade.” I lived in an apartment building and thought roughing it was when the concierge service stopped at midnight.
“See that clearing over there?”
I followed his finger to a large plot of empty land. The tree stumps had been pulled from the ground, and it looked as if somebody had compacted the soil. Did he come out here and chop down trees to make himself feel one with the universe? It was no weirder than my exotic coffee hobby.
“That’s where the house is going to go.”
I spun around, staring him in the face. “You’re building a house?”
“Technically, a cabin.”
“A log cabin? Wow! That’s a little more intense than fixing a running toilet.”
He nodded in agreement. “It’s my pet project. When I have a few hours to spare, I come out here and fool around.”
While I fled the media smearing my name, Bobby built something permanent. I questioned my future, and here he was, prepared to spend however long creating something that'd last a lifetime.
“How long have you been at it?”
“I started last fall. I’d be further along, but winter…”
As a handyman, I thought of him doing odd jobs around town. It was a living, but nothing compared to this. I respected a man who worked with his hands. The thought of him holding a chainsaw and… I put a hand on his shoulder while I laughed. I couldn’t stop.
“Did I miss the joke?”
“I had sex with a lumberjack.”
“Keep laughing, mister. But we didn’t come out here to stand around.”
I sobered with lightning speed. “I don’t follow.”
Bobby stepped around me and pulled back a corner of the tarp. My jaw dropped when he pulled out a chainsaw. The moment he held it up, he was covered in sawdust, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hot as hell.
“I’m going to make a country boy out of you.”
Erection achieved.
He reached in and pulled out a pair of bright yellow earmuffs, and tossed them in my direction. I caught them, and before I could ask what he wanted me to do, he jerked the ripcord on the chainsaw. I slid them on as he gave it a second pull. With the headgear on, the world faded away, all except for the roar of the chainsaw.
“What are you doing?” I could barely hear myself as I shouted.
“We’re going to make a man out of you.” It wasn’t the innuendo but the not-so-subtle wink that made me smile. “Need to teach you how to handle wood.” Half the job of being a woodsman must be making jokes about wood.
He pointed to a fallen tree, smaller than the others but still as thick as my waist. With a pull of the trigger, the chain spun until it blurred. When the blade touched the tree, the sawdust formed a cloud, coating every inch of Bobby. Before it migrated in my direction, I removed my jacket and tossed it on the hood of his truck.
Leaning into the tool, he reached the end, and a disc fell from the tree. He made it look easy, as if he had done it a thousand times before. I tried to imagine the trees stacked until they made a rustic cabin. Would he come out here and visit, or would he make this his home? With the way the light broke through the canopy, scattering beams through the trees, I understood the magic of this location.
“Your turn,” he shouted.
He held up the chainsaw as if I had a clue how to use it. When I hesitated, he walked over, holding it out like a kid showing off a new toy. Why not? I took it from him and got myself situated. He walked me over to the tree and gestured like I had a clue what I was doing.
“I don’t know about this.”
Bobby got behind me, arms wrapped around me like we were about to start an intimate dance… with a chainsaw. He reached around and eased his finger over the trigger. The thought of his body pressed against me made me forget about the log and remember how well he fit... in more ways than one.
With a quick pull, it spun to life. Gripping my forearms, he guided me to the log. Narrowing my eyes, ready to drop it and run should things go wrong, I pulled the trigger and put it to the wood.
“Holy shit!”
Body vibrating and chainsaw grinding, I understood the rush. Man versus nature. King of my domain. I let out a lengthy woohoo. It took longer than Bobby’s demonstration, but I reached the end, and another disc dropped to the forest floor. I turned around, and Bobby quickly backed up, hands up.
“Whoa, boy. Let’s put down the chainsaw.”
“Let’s keep going. What else needs cutting?”
He laughed as he slowly reached out, pulling the tool from my hands. They still shook as the adrenaline coursed through my veins. I could get used to this. It didn’t hurt that the sight of Bobby in his overalls, wielding a chainsaw, was just about the sexiest man I had ever laid eyes on.
He picked up the two discs, and it was clear that one of them had been cut by a pro. My zigzag lines were closer to a toddler drunk on apple juice.
“Maybe you should stick to moral support?”
He tossed the discs to the side, and I seized the opportunity. When he turned in my direction, I had stepped inside his bubble. I gave his shoulder a quick brush, knocking off some sawdust. He’d need a thorough shower. Would an extra set of hands help him get to those hard-to-reach areas?
“You wanted to know something about me?” He inched forward until our stomachs met. “I’m a handyman with delusions of grandeur. We’ll see if I ever finish this project.”
I ran a hand along his chest until I reached his beard. With a slight tug forward, I gave him a kiss. We both parted, spitting at the taste of sawdust. “Not as sexy as I imagined.”
He coughed between laughs. “It’s the thought that counts.”
I pulled him forward, our foreheads touching. He rested his arms on my shoulders, pulling me into a tight bear hug. Standing in the middle of the forest with this bear of a man, I stared at the empty plot of land, picturing the cabin with a wraparound porch. I glimpsed inside Bobby’s world. There was an allure to this mountain man’s way of life. Maybe I’d come out of the closet as bi-coastal, splitting my time between Hollywood and Maine?
“Ready to head back?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Not yet. I need more time daydreaming.”
“For you?” His nose brushed against mine. “Anything.”
He meant it. I squeezed him tighter, determined to drag it out as long as he’d let me. Maybe this whole fake-boyfriend thing had potential. Surprisingly, the daydream continued to play out. He'd come out the door of the cabin to join me on the swinging chair while he brought me a cup of Café Tuba. I didn't quite understand what it meant, but something about it made me choke up.