9. Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Fleur
O f all the gin joints in all the towns in the world, they walk into the café where I'm hosting a poetry slam.
Café Istanbul was in the New Orleans Healing Center, and we held a poetry slam once a month. It started with some of us who were into poetry, and with the help of a friend who worked at Baldwin that's the Irish. Enough said . We prefer a clerihew ," James replied.
"Let's hear it then," someone from the crowd cried out.
"Aye, then, if you're sure." James obviously loved it, and so did the crowd. This is what made such events fun: when the listeners became the poets and vice versa.
Someone took a microphone up to James. "Alright, lads, I'm doin' this from the top of my head, so let's go easy on this old man.
"A poet from Edinburgh town, Wrote verses that caused quite a frown. His rhymes, though quite clever, Made sense, hardly ever ."
There was raucous clapping.
I invited the next poet to the stage, then made my way down to say hello to James and Rose. By now, it would have felt downright rude to ignore them. We moved to the back of the room, and they both pulled me into hugs.
"We missed you at Thanksgiving," Rose murmured. "Where were you?"
"We had dinner at a bar my friend works at. We collected all us folk with no family and had a blast," I told them.
"That doesn't sound right, young woman. You have family right here in New Orleans," James remonstrated gently.
I looked to check if Sabine and Callum could hear us, but they were busy talking in loud whispers, and their neighbor was getting ready to shush them.
"Let's step out, yeah?" I suggested.
I had no choice but to lead them away because I didn't want to disturb the poetry slam. People came once a month to share their art, and I wanted this to be a safe space.
We sat at one of the outdoor tables, and because the universe hated me, Callum and Sabine joined us.
"Fleur," Callum greeted me politely, and I did the same.
Sabine ignored me. I didn't respond in kind. "Happy Thanksgiving, Sabine." It was a day to be thankful, and even though I had a shitty sister, I was grateful she existed because it helped me learn quickly how harsh the world could be and how I needed to be strong to survive.
"Poetry, Fleur?" There was a subtle sneer in her polished voice.
This was what fooled people. She was so superbly sophisticated that even the vilest things she said came out sounding mellifluous.
"Yeah," I chirped. I was proud of what we did here, and no one was going to make me feel bad about it.
"I think it's fantastic," Rose chimed. "Do you write poetry?"
"Oh no! I'm a poetry lover."
Callum smiled then. "Fleur introduced me to Pablo Neruda and the Romantics."
"You're reading Byron, Call?" Sabine was amused. "I'd pay good money to see that."
"Can do it for free. Though this is Shelley." Callum murmured, looking at me with soft eyes.
" And the sunlight clasps the earth, And the moonbeams kiss the sea— What are all these kissings worth, If thou kiss not me? "
My breath hitched. Did it mean something that he'd decided to recite Percy Bysshe Shelley's Love's Philosophy , famous for expressing the yearning and sadness of love lost?
Don't go there. Sabine is kissing him on his lips, and he's letting her. You lost to her again. Just accept defeat and move on. Like Auden said, "You can't make someone love you if they don't."
Sabine laughed, and she looked beautiful, happy, and just the kind of woman I could imagine Callum with. Two beautiful people together—not a nerd in sight.
"I think we need you to start reading to me in bed, darling," Sabine flirted.
Callum looked perplexed for a moment and then shrugged. "Sure."
She flushed. I watched them unabashedly. It was important to not look away, to smile, to let the one you love go because wasn't there a poem about that, too?
"What are your plans for Christmas, Fleur?" Rose broke the moment.
"I'm going to spend it with friends," I explained.
"But your family is here," James scowled. "How can you not spend the holidays at home?"
"Fleur is like that," Sabine said in her oh-so-sweet voice. "She was invited for Thanksgiving but decided to not come."
"Well, that’s understandable, isn’t it?" my mother interjected. "She and Callum apparently just broke up, and now he’s dating you."
"Yes, he is." Sabine snuggled into Callum.
I smiled easily now. He looked happy with her. He'd told me that he wanted to have no conflict and just ease in a relationship. He seemed to have that with Sabine. She'd mold herself to meet his needs. She'd done that with Seamus until she hadn't. But maybe she'd learned her lesson and would be different with Callum. I hoped so. I didn't think I could stand it if he got hurt.
Ah, love, the poets knew, could be painful. A Dryden poem came to mind:
Pains of love be sweeter far; Than all other pleasures are.
It was sad but true that it was indeed better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. That was from another amazing poet. Alfred Lord Tennyson!
"I'm not getting along well with my parents," I explained honestly to James.
"But how will you get along if you don't see them?" James pointed out.
He wasn't being mean. He was just baffled that I didn't want to work on a relationship with my parents.
I rose then. There was no point. For a minute there, when they had exuberantly hugged me, I'd thought that they liked me. Well, obviously, I'd thought wrong.
"Stop it, James. I'm sure Fleur has her reasons," Rose murmured, seeing my plastic smile.
Callum didn’t say a word, just looked away like I didn’t matter. It shouldn’t have hurt—he couldn’t have known that I didn’t matter to fucking anyone, not really—but it did.
"Fleur, Jemele is on in five; you better come in," one of the café employees stuck their head out of the café to let me know.
"I'll be right in," I said with false cheer. I excelled at faking it until you made it.
"Fleur, you should come home for Christmas," Sabine said as I bid everyone a joint goodbye. "Don't be selfish."
"I won't be coming over for Christmas or ever to our parents' or your home, Sabine, and you know why. And since you do, you shouldn't pretend we're one big happy family because we're not." I smiled again at Rose and James. "So, nice to see you both. I hope y'all have a great rest of your stay."
"God, she can be such a bitch," I heard Sabine mutter as I walked to the door of the café.
"Stop it, Sabine. She's right. You don’t get along, and I understand why she doesn’t want to spend the holidays with any of you," Callum said sharply, his tone clipped and firm, shocking me.