Chapter 12 The Single
Twelve
The Single
Instead of going back to my room, I set my jaw, tightened my shoulders, and went down the stairwell to the second floor. Finding Dallas shouldn’t be hard.
The hallways of our dorm were H-shaped—two vertical legs connected at their midpoints by a center horizontal hallway. From the stairwell, I stepped onto his men’s-only floor at one end of the first leg.
The off-white walls were bare, and except for a few hockey pennants, the doors stood blank. On my floor, the girls knew how to dress them up and make it homey. There were silk flowers, beads, and excessive amounts of bling. Here, it was like walking down the wing of a hospital.
As my terrible luck would have it, only half of the rooms had names on them, and none of them said Dallas.
I turned into the center hallway to access the second leg. A guy with shaggy blonde hair passed by, sliding a glance at me. I could have asked him where Dallas’s room was, but I was embarrassed. I knew what kind of girl went in search of a guy like Dallas at one o’clock in the morning.
I made it to the end of the center hallway, by the bathrooms, and turned back to look down the long passages. I pulled my phone from my pocket. I could text him.
But that might be too weird. I mean, I had this concrete intention now. I wanted him, but if he responded with his room number and I knocked on his door, I wasn’t sure what I would do next.
Come on, Ade. You’re such a wimp. Just text him.
I started typing.
Behind me, a door creaked open. I moved to the side to avoid whoever was coming out.
“Adriana?”
When I heard his voice, I jumped and spun around.
Dallas wore a white T-shirt pulled tight at his shoulders, a pair of loose plaid pajama pants with the drawstrings hanging and wool clogs.
I swallowed hard. He looked even better comfortable and rumpled with his hair mussed and his eyes glassy.
“Hi,” I said in a bit more of a high-pitched squeak than I’d intended.
He glanced down the hallway. “What are you doing?”
I should make something up, but I couldn’t think of anything. “Trying to find your room.”
“Oh.” He frowned. “Was there something you needed?”
I shifted my weight to my other hip. What the hell was going on here? Why wasn’t he showing me to his room? “I just…well…I was trying to find you because…because I wanted to explain more…more about my dad.”
My heart rate spiked.
He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. You don’t need to.”
“No, I really do. I…” I looked around me, not wanting to say this in the middle of the hall, but I must. “You’re the first person on campus I’ve told. No one knows except Jay because we went to high school together. I don’t speak to my dad anymore. Basically, I’ve disowned him. Hence the new name.”
He didn’t say anything. He sucked in a deep breath and released it. Then stared at me with a distant gaze, pondering something deep, something beyond me.
“I just wanted you to know that, because I don’t want you to think…what he did…is anything I would condone. Also, as I said before, I’m asking you…no, begging you…to please keep this to yourself.”
Suddenly, his eyes turned clear, like he’d made up his mind. He smiled wide and deep. Basking in his glow made my insides soften like cotton candy on my tongue.
“Okay, I can do that,” he said. “My room’s this way. You want to come in?”
I nodded then followed him, watching him closely. Omigod, I was so into him. He had that high muscled hockey butt, but he wasn’t bursting at the seams with brawn. His body was defined, yet lean.
He opened the door to room 227 and waved me in. It smelled a little like coffee and also his cucumber scent.
Except for a string of white Christmas lights, it was dark. Music was playing, but not loud. I glanced around again because there was no one else in the room and there was only one bed.
The door clicked shut behind me.
My back went rigid. “This is a single.”
“Yep.” He walked around me.
My stomach did somersaults. This was how it was possible for him to have so much sex. He never had to worry about a roommate. Thirty girls might be an exaggeration, but there was no way he hadn’t had a few.
He pointed to a futon folded up into a couch. “Have a seat.”
I paused. How many girls had he screwed right there?
Stop it, Ade. Don’t think about that.
He straddled his desk chair and placed his elbows on the back, looking relaxed. Sexually confident. My stomach turned over.
“You know what?” I started to back up. “It’s late. I’ll come over some other time.”
He rested his chin on his arms and stared up at me. “You can go if you want, but you don’t have to.”
I halted. This was what I wanted. To be alone with him. So, I sat on the futon and put my toiletry bag next to me like it was my guard dog.
I slid my sweaty hands under my thighs. “I thought you were a freshman,” I blurted out.
“I am.”
“Then why do you have a single?”
“I was on the waiting list for housing. This was the room that was available when my number came up.”
My shoulders relaxed. “That must have been hard. Waiting for a place.”
“Sort of.” He reached over and turned on a bedside lamp. “But it all worked out.”
With the additional light, I started looking around his room, trying to get a feel for what he was like.
On his desk, he had a laptop and the all-too-familiar textbooks.
Chemistry, physics, calculus, biology. On the ledge above the books stood a frame with a photo.
It appeared to be him in hockey pads, standing next to his mom and dad.
But there were no other pictures. No friends. No siblings.
“Is that your mom and dad?” I pointed to the photo.
“Yeah, it was taken on parents’ night my senior year of high school.”
I spotted the large letter C on his jersey. “You were a captain?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged.
Instead of taking the opportunity to talk about his family or his past, he said nothing more. I could press him, but I didn’t feel like I should.
“Is that a smart coffeemaker?” I motioned to a stainless steel box where a coffee cup was already in position.
He nodded.
“I’ve heard you can control them from an app.”
He nodded again and kept staring at me. It was like he was Superman, using his X-ray vision to see inside me.
My heart thudded. “Do you like coffee that much?”
“I’m addicted.”
“Oh.” No wonder he was at ease at Starbucks.
Silence followed. More looking around, more time for me to grapple for personal information. More time to feel the heat of his gaze on me.
Tucking my hair behind my ear, I swallowed down the lump thickening in my throat. “Didn’t you think there was something off about the ending of our night tonight?”
Creases wove a pattern across his forehead. “Like what?”
I splayed my hand on the cushion and stared at the gray material between my fingers. A war ignited inside me. Do I, or don’t I? I looked up at him. He was waiting.
But my gut knew. Contrary to Emma’s opinion, he was the guy I wanted to send me into deep, blissful sleep after a round of exhausting sex.
“I wanted you to kiss me goodbye, and you didn’t,” I spoke softly but clearly. “And maybe it’s because now you know about my dad, and I know what you must think about him and me and…”
He put his finger to his lips. “I’ll admit, I was surprised, but what I think about your dad is not the reason I didn’t kiss you.”
“It’s not?”
“No.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
He shifted, his eyes now focusing on everything but me. “Because I suddenly got this feeling that I’m not the best person for you to be kissing.”
This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening again. There was no way he could go from hot to lukewarm that fast. And him protecting me from his reputation? Bullshit.
“If it’s because of the thirty girls, I don’t care.” I pushed myself forward, grabbed the back of his chair, and before I could take another breath or change my mind, I kissed him.
I ran my tongue over his lips. He opened them, inviting me inside. And that was all I needed, all he needed. I was in—all in. There was no turning back.
He came out from behind the chair. I nudged him down on the futon and sat on his lap, straddling him. I buried my hands in his soft hair and kept on kissing him.
Taking control like this shocked me, but I wasn’t going to play hard to get. I needed him to know I wanted him. Right now. Right this minute.
I pressed as much of myself against him as I could, needing to feel his hard body.
One of his hands skimmed up the side of my torso but stopped and didn’t go any farther.
Was I not kissing him right? Was he not getting the proper signals?
I put my hand over his and dragged it up to my chest so he would cup my breast. My heart was pounding.
The kiss deepened. I heard a moan, and I couldn’t quite figure out if it was him or me.
Okay. Now we were getting somewhere.
“Touch me,” I whispered.
He ran his thumb over the outside of my tank and across my nipple, and it tightened instantly. I knew without a doubt the next moan came from me. I was quaking inside.
His lips left mine and trailed across my cheek to pull on my ear.
My hips gyrated against him. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted him that bad.
His hand moved to my other nipple, and I couldn’t help but press my fingers into his bicep. This was too good. He was too good. I couldn’t have made a better choice.
“I…I…” My brain and my body were reconciled. I needed more.
But before I could say any more words of encouragement, he lifted me off and tucked me in beside him. His breaths came quick and short.
“Sorry,” he said after gaining control over his breathing. “I think we’re getting carried away.”
Feeling the heat of him, I looked at his hand, still touching my belly. I wanted to guide it down a few inches, inside my pants, where my body was more than ready for him.
I started to do just that.
But he squeezed my hand. “Adriana, we should stop.”
Stop? What did he mean stop?
“No.” I shook my head. “We need to keep going.”
I had a sense of urgency now. Like if we didn’t keep moving full steam ahead, I’d be sleepless for the rest of my life.
He sighed and kissed the top of my head. The freaking top. What was going on here?
“I’m not having sex with you.”
“Yes, you are.” I stood up and pointed to his bed, warmth bathing me from head to toe. “You’re going to take me over there and fuck my brains out.”
He tried to keep his mouth shut, but he couldn’t. He started to crack up, and my chest nearly exploded.
After he finished laughing, he stared at me with a serious expression. “You are cute.”
“I am not. I’m wearing a thong. I am sexy.”
He lifted his brows. “Can I see it?”
Turning, I pulled my yoga pants down so the string on my waist showed. I flashed him a seductive smile over my shoulder.
“Nice.” He reached out and grazed my hip bone with his finger.
“If I show you the whole thing, then will you have sex with me?”
“No.” He crossed his arms.
His response hit me square in the chest, heavy as a brick. Omigod. He really didn’t want what I wanted right now.
I was a loser. A pathetic, groveling loser. I pulled my jeans back up. My face and neck were hot.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “This is embarrassing. I better go.”
I spun around and walked out the door. It shut automatically behind me with a clunk.
Shoot. My bag.
I cringed and covered my face with my hands. This was awful. Mortifying. And it wasn’t over. I had to go back in there to get my stuff.
The door clicked open without me having to knock.
Dallas peeked out and then opened the door wide for me to come back in. “I think you forgot something.”
I ducked underneath his arm and went straight for the bag. It had fallen off the futon during our hot but short make-out session. I picked it up and turned to leave again, but Dallas was blocking me.
“I’m sorry for laughing.” His hands were behind his back.
“It’s okay.” I tried to find a way around him. “I just thought you were into easy fucks.”
He grabbed my upper arm and stopped me.
I looked at him, my chin quivering. I really wish I hadn’t said that. It was insulting to both of us.
“You and easy do not go together,” he said.
I went limp under his grip. This was so confusing. I needed someone to point me to the beginning of the maze again and give me the directions.
“So, you do or you don’t want to have sex with me?” I asked.
“I do. I’m just not going to ruin this.”
“Ruin what?”
“Exactly.” He opened the door and stepped aside.
I walked across the threshold and looked back at him.
He smiled, said good night…and shut the door.
I stared down the long, empty hallway, and an ache took root in my stomach. Where was I going to go now? Not back to my room. Luke was still there. Not to backstabbing Emma’s room. No way.
I tapped on Dallas’s door.
He opened it again, his mouth twitching. “Did you forget something else?”
“Um.” I rubbed my lips together. This was awkward. “I know that you don’t want to have sex with me, and we don’t really know each other all that well, but do you think I could stay here tonight? On your futon?”
He squinted.
“My roommate’s boyfriend is here, and…well…I sort of got into an argument with the other girl on my floor who I usually stay with when he’s in town.”
His brow unfurled. “Just to sleep?”
“Yes, I promise.” I held my breath. An insomniac promising to sleep was like a toddler promising not to draw on the walls.
“Okay,” he said, and I exhaled.
This was crazy. Totally bizarre. I’d all but walked out on the guy because he wasn’t going to give me what I wanted. Now, I’d somehow managed to weasel myself back in for a no-nonsense sleepover.
Forget it. I was going to get him to have sex with me whether he liked it or not. Maybe not tonight, but soon. Very soon.