Chapter 26 The Nightly News
Twenty-Six
The Nightly News
To my dismay, Dallas also enjoyed the zombie show that Priya liked, so on Sunday night, after doing our physics problems for the week and avoided talking about his mother, we watched it in the fourth-floor lounge with a bunch of other people.
I kept my earbuds in to dampen the sound. The music always did me in. If they’d just get rid of the creepy sounds, I might actually enjoy the show. There were interesting characters, high stakes, and the need to work together to survive. All elements of exciting television.
At the climax, the tension got to me. Blood and guts were everywhere. I was white-knuckling the chair and at the point where I really hated this program. Like I’ll-never-watch-it-again kind of hate.
Dallas put a hand on my leg. “You okay?”
“I just don’t have the stomach for this.”
He squeezed. “Don’t worry, there can’t be much left. We can leave if you want.”
“No, I’ll make it.” I shut my eyes again and waited.
Finally, the show ended, and I sighed in relief.
“That was so awesome.” Priya was bouncing. “Did you see that one zombie with half a body?”
My insides lurched. Good thing my eyes had been closed tight for quite a bit of the show.
The credits sped by, and then the local news blared. Two anchors with perfectly ironed suits and teased hair started with a report on the ice cross competition. No photos of Dallas, but they showed aerial views of the crowds, and it was breathtaking.
They moved on to a more serious issue, a demonstration at the State Capitol. Then once more they changed gears.
And there, on all fifty inches of the flat-screen television, was my father’s mug shot from last year, with his thick, dark hair dusted with flecks of gray, his wide hazel eyes like mine, and his face devoid of expression.
My stomach clenched so hard, I almost doubled over. The room grew silent. This one bit of old news had captured everyone’s attention. Of course it would. He was the university’s ex-coach. Loved and cherished until he’d effed it all up.
I wanted to throw up. Retch right there. I swallowed saliva just to keep the bile down.
His photo zoomed out, and the camera focused again on the anchorwoman. I could barely digest any of her words. Something about his trial starting next week. The charges against him.
I was frozen to my chair, but Dallas wasn’t. I didn’t realize he’d gotten up until he was standing in front of the TV and changing the station. Instantly, the faces and voices on the screen disappeared, replaced with something else.
“Hey,” Priya shouted. “If you hadn’t noticed, some of us were watching that.”
My head started throbbing.
Dallas turned around, and he looked at me, his eyes soft. “I’m not sure who even watches the news. I don’t.”
“David Bianchini screwed over the whole university athletic department.” I could almost see steam coming out of Priya’s nostrils. “Did you hear how much they had to pay him to sever his contract? And now I’ve heard that the NCAA might hand down even more sanctions. It’s total bullshit.”
My heart thudded and seemed to skip a beat.
Everything that had happened to me last year was suddenly pouring into me like water through a leak in the hull of a boat. I needed to get away. Now.
So I walked out. In the hallway, I was disoriented.
I didn’t know which way to go. Back to my room?
Maybe, but I wouldn’t be alone for long.
That was the trouble with the dorm. There was no place to hide.
No place to tuck yourself away to have a good cry or scream.
No place to rein in your feelings and put on a game face.
The door to the community bathroom beckoned, and I pushed through it. I went straight to the last stall, locked myself in, and sat on the toilet seat completely clothed, crisscross apple saucing my legs so no one would see me under the stall door.
I cradled my face in my hands and tried to breathe. But it was hard, especially with my throat closing around a volcano of emotion. I wouldn’t cry, not here. I’d already shed enough tears about my dad. I was past this.
The door creaked open.
“Ade,” Priya’s voice called out. “Are you in here?”
I wasn’t ready to face anyone yet.
“Dallas is looking for you.”
With the quietest of motions, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and flipped the switch to silent. In seconds, the phone lit up.
DALLAS
Where are you?
I held my breath.
Then a squeak and Priya said, “She’s not in there, Let’s—”
The door slammed shut, and I missed the rest.
My heart was beating wildly. I needed more time to recover. That was all.
I went to the voicemail my dad had left for me, which I hadn’t listened to yet, and pressed play.
“Hi, Ade.” My dad’s baritone sounded authoritative and soothing all at the same time.
It reminded me of the days when he’d talk me through lacing up my skates before hockey practice.
“It’s me. Your mom gave me your phone number.
Please don’t be mad. I just want to see you.
This week would be best. I miss you. Call me. ”
The voicemail ended, and my heart squeezed tight, pain swelling in my esophagus. Why had he screwed everything up?
Tears welled in my eyes, but before they could spill, I wiped them away with my arm.
I pictured his mug shot. The same one I’d seen thousands of times last year. It was a horrible depiction of him.
I supposed I should break the silence and meet with him. It might be the last time for a while, if he was actually convicted and had to go to jail. And I definitely wouldn’t be visiting him there.
I typed a message to Dallas.
I’m fine. I’m in the building.
DALLAS
You coming over tonight?
I stared hard at his text, and my chest flooded with warmth.
I wanted to be with him. And if I did, I’d be giving myself another shot at getting a night of sleep.
But given his reaction to my dad calling me, I wasn’t sure Dallas would give me the best advice about how to handle him.
That left Jay, who was the only other person in the dorm who knew who he was.
Not tonight. But do you want to walk to class together tomorrow morning?
DALLAS
Sure.
I left the bathroom and went downstairs to the first floor, to Jay’s room. I knocked. It was sort of late for a Sunday. Ten-twenty-two at night, to be exact.
The door swung open, and I met his friendly eyes.
“Hi,” I said. “Are you alone, or is your roommate in there too?”
He opened the door wider to let me in. “Come on in, I’m by myself.”
I walked in. The room was tidy, but it smelled like boys—cross-country-runner boys. Dirty socks and sweaty polyester running shirts. How did they live like this?
I sat on his couch.
Jay sat across from me on his desk chair. “What’s up?”
“My dad left me a voicemail. Can I play it for you?”
“Sure.” He crossed his arms.
I took out my phone and played the message. Jay leaned forward to get closer to the speaker. The sound of my dad’s voice made me all squishy inside again, and I remained that way even when the voicemail was over.
“Are you going to call him back?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. What do you think?”
Jay shifted in his seat. “Interesting that he called you.”
“No, it’s not. My mom is behind this, and the trial starts next week. Haven’t you seen it on the news?”
He shrugged. “I don’t watch TV unless I’m streaming something.”
“Well, it made the headlines tonight. I was hoping the media didn’t care about him anymore, but they’re probably even more excited now that there’ll be more drama.”
“Maybe,” he said. “Or maybe there was nothing else to report on.”
“So…” I folded one leg under my thigh. “You think I should meet up with him like he wants.”
“Yeah,” Jay said. “I think you should.”
“But it’s so complicated.” I nibbled on the inside of my mouth.
He stared at me. “Life is complicated. But sometimes you need to suck it up and face it. You’ll be better off.”
“Face it, huh? Like face the source of my anxiety and maybe, just maybe, it will go away and I’ll finally sleep well?”
Jay gave me a knowing look and chuckled. “Does that mean Dallas hasn’t been the fix you thought he’d be?”
“For your information, he’s good.” I folded my arms together.
“Just good?”
“Very good.” I kicked his foot. “But as it turns out, sex as a remedy was like all the other ones I’ve tried. A total bust.”
He laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“I find it hilarious that you spent all that time obsessing about how sex would cure your insomnia and then in the end it didn’t work.”
“It’s frustrating, that’s for sure, but Dallas and I are…well…we’re having a great time together.”
He nodded. “That’s good. I’m glad to hear it.”
“Back to my dad. What you’re saying makes sense. But what if reconciling with him doesn’t work to cure me either?”
He shrugged. “At least you’d have a dad again. Don’t get me wrong, he made some really awful, terrible choices. And he’s going to have to deal with the consequences. That’s for sure. But are you going to refuse to talk to him for the rest of your life and never have any resolution for yourself?”
I sighed. This was why I’d come to Jay. I knew he’d lay it out for me. And deep inside, I knew I needed to move on and start the life I was trying to create for myself. The baggage wasn’t helping. And at this point, I’d try anything to help me get some sleep.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” I said. “But if things get ugly, I’m blaming you.”