Chapter 37 The Test
Thirty-Seven
The Test
Early the next morning, I flew out of one of the dorm’s exit-only side doors and into a snowdrift.
The automatic lock clicked behind me. I trudged to the sidewalk and stomped clumps of snow off my boots.
With my winter gear in place, I was ready to make my trek to chemistry to take this week’s test.
Ahead, Jay was waiting for me at the street corner.
As I approached, he tilted his head. “I almost didn’t recognize you all bundled up like that.”
“Good.” I pulled my scarf up a little higher.
“A bunch of residents watched the news last night in the main floor lounge to get highlights of the trial. Is that why you texted me to meet you on the street rather than in the dorm lobby? Because you’ve taken hiding to a new extreme?”
“Thanks, Jay.” I raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t know that, but now I do and it doesn’t make me feel good.”
“All right, all right. I’m sorry.” He started walking. “Spill it. What’s going on?”
“Long story.”
“Good thing you can talk and walk to class at the same time.” He checked the time on his cell phone. “But we better hurry because we’re running late.”
I wasn’t sure why I was being evasive with Jay. I’d eventually tell him everything. I always did.
“The truth is”—I took a deep, cold breath as we scooted along—“I never knew who Dallas was at all.”
“What?”
“It turns out he’s one of them.”
“One of who?”
“One of the recruits my dad is accused of bribing.”
All I got in response was Jay’s breathing, his Adam’s apple moving up and down as he swallowed.
“That’s…that’s unexpected,” he finally said.
I tried concentrating on him, but I couldn’t stop my arms from waving in the air.
“It’s not just unexpected. It’s an explosion.
It’s like a hydrogen balloon turning into a firebomb, and now my eyebrows have been singed off.
” My heart was doing palpitations. “I told him weeks ago who I really was. Trusted him with my secret, but he didn’t say a thing about himself.
Then he showed up in court yesterday to testify against my dad, thinking I wasn’t going to be there. ”
“Wow.” Jay’s eyes were wide, unblinking. “How many Red Bulls did you have this morning?”
“None. I downed two of those five-hour energy shots. Extra strength.”
“Holy balls, Ade.”
“Anyway, now I have to avoid him, because if he finds me, I’m afraid I’ll punch him.” My fist went flying in the air. “I’m afraid I’ll knee him in the groin.” I acted out that maneuver too. “And when he’s writhing on the ground, I’m afraid I’ll crush his hands with my feet.”
“Whoa, Ade. Settle down.”
I froze midstomp and cocked my head. “I can’t. This is the kind of danger he’ll be in if I run into him, that’s all. That’s why I had to meet you outside.”
“You do realize he’s in our class right now. He’s going to be taking the test too.”
The wind sent us sailing through the door of the building.
“I know,” I said. “Which is why I made sure we’d get here just as the test was about to be handed out.”
“Also, you said you don’t know him, but I hope you’ve realized that he doesn’t know you either.”
“Yes, he does.” I peeled off my layers. “I told you. He knew my secret. He knew who my father was.”
“He didn’t know your other secret.”
In the lecture hall, we sat with an empty seat between us—test-taking protocol.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I set my calculator on the corner of the foldout desk. “I don’t have another secret.”
Jay tapped his pencil on the desk, then leaned over and lowered his voice. “That you were using him to cure your insomnia.”
My heart stopped. Or maybe skipped a beat. Jay sure had a way of making me sound like the evil one here. Because I wasn’t, was I?
My right leg started to jiggle. But it was true. I’d never told Dallas. Not even the night I had the auditory hallucination.
I tried not to look for him. Not to find the back of his head. But I did. He was sitting at the bottom and to the right of the large auditorium room.
The ache in my chest intensified. I could hardly breathe. Hardly see straight. Jay was right. Both Dallas and I had been insincere to each other.
Jay squinted at me. “Are you okay?”
But I couldn’t respond. My heart was beating too fast. A whooshing sound kept crashing in my ears. I couldn’t find words or figure out how to get them out of me.
“Ade, you’ve got to stop taking so much caffeine, and stop hiding behind all of these secrets. You need to embrace the life that you were born with. I promise you that it will be okay.”
The room was full now. Tests were being passed down the row, and I took one.
I placed my hand on the stapled packet lying upside down, and I knew without a doubt that I was going to fail.
No amount of studying or practicing, no amount of energy supplement, was going to get me through this. Not today.
I glanced around the room at the other students, but they all had deadpan faces.
I was the only one about to break in half.
Even Jay was calm and collected. I should just leave.
Call my mom and tell her I’d meet her at the courthouse earlier than I’d thought.
Even though she told me last night that they’d delayed court this morning until ten, making my eight a.m. exam occur at the perfect time.
“Ade,” Jay said, “you can do this. As hard as it sounds, you need to block out everything else and concentrate.”
I nodded in panic.
“Breathe, Ade. Breathe.”
So I did. And it helped. A little.
After the teaching assistant gave us the cue, I flipped over the packet and dug in. I read the first question, and a cylinder fired in my brain. Aha. I knew how to solve this problem. I hunched over and started scratching away, showing my work.
When I got to the last question, I looked up to check the time. Less than two minutes left. Dang. I hadn’t finished. And I wasn’t going to have enough time to look over my answers to make sure I’d done the math right. I scribbled as fast as I could in the time left, making some educated guesses.
The tests were collected, and all I wanted to do was steal mine back.
I sulked out of class and into the hall, and standing there, waiting for me, was Dallas. His brown eyes searched mine, his backpack slung over one shoulder.
I was in no shape to talk to him. Especially now, after realizing that I was partially to blame for our dysfunctional relationship. I only had enough kinetic energy to keep on walking. To put distance between us. So that was what I did. I kept moving.
Dallas stepped in front of me. “Hey.”
“Ade,” Jay said from behind me. “Don’t do anything stupid.”
I walked around Dallas.
Jay had taken me seriously about beating Dallas up. No need to worry, my friend. I wasn’t going to do anything. Not now.
“Ade, please.” Dallas’s voice sounded louder. “I need you to listen to me for just a second.”
His familiar voice made my insides hurt, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t.
“Not cool, dude,” Jay said. “Not cool.”
“Ade.” Dallas’s voice echoed in the hall. “Have you talked to your brother?”
My heart sped up to double time, but I kept going forward, moving away from him. What was he even talking about?
I glanced behind me and saw Jay holding on to Dallas’s arm. “You need to give her space. Wait until the trial is over.”
Once outside, I fled straight for the station to catch the train to the courthouse downtown.
When I got to the platform, I stood under a heat lamp, gasping for air.
My head hurt. My stomach ached. Like someone had kicked me in the gut.
My hands were shaking. So much was wrong with me, I didn’t know whether to attribute it to the five-hour energy shots or everything else.
“Are you okay?” asked a female voice from next to me under the heater.
I glanced up. My gaze met a girl’s, and at the same time, our eyes widened. It was her. It was the EDM juror with the black makeup.
“Oh shit,” she choked out. “I’m not supposed to talk to you.”
“You’re not?”
“The judge told us that we couldn’t talk to any lawyer, party, or witness in the case.”
“I’m not any of those.”
“But you’re…you’re David Bianchini’s daughter, aren’t you?”
I paused, letting her words soak in. Steep a bit. And I was fine. No panic. No nothing.
“I’ll go stand over there.” I pointed down the platform. “By the other heater, and make sure we get on different cars.”
“Wait,” she said. “Do you go to school here?”
This strange sensation crawled up my spine. Normally, I would have lied to her. Denied my enrollment. But not now.
I nodded. “I do.”
Her features softened. Even with the dark makeup on. “Has it been awful for you? People knowing who you are?” Her eyebrows drew into a frown. “Actually, don’t answer that. You shouldn’t answer that. I shouldn’t be talking to you.”
I glanced away and then back to her. “I had been keeping my identity a secret.”
Her eyes widened again. “I won’t say anything to anyone. I promise.”
“You don’t have to promise. It’s a secret I no longer want to keep.”
Right then, the train came to a flying stop. The brakes squealed so loud that even if she said something more, I wouldn’t have heard it. The doors opened, and she got into the last car. I turned, jogged to the front, and jumped in.
I settled into a seat. Secrets. My secrets. Dallas’s secret. They made one’s life miserable. Two five-hour-energy-shots miserable.
Jay was right. The time had come to stop hiding. I needed to be the person I was born to be, even if it meant unloading all of the baggage that came with it.