Chapter 50 Charlotte
FIFTY
CHARLOTTE
It’s been almost two hours since Jude’s parents showed up, and I don’t want to admit the number of times I’ve checked my phone since they’ve been here.
I keep expecting to see a notification from Jude, but I haven’t gotten anything.
He’s got to be done with the eighteen holes by now, but my guess is he’s probably still hanging out with the rest of the guys or doing something at the club.
I was the one who told him to have fun and stop checking in, but now that his parents are here, it feels weird to still not have told him that they arrived unexpectedly.
I can’t help but wonder if I should text him and tell him anyway even though Florence didn’t want me to.
I quietly shut the door to Jude’s room, making sure I don’t wake up a sleeping Ava.
She had a great time playing with Florence and Nathaniel for the last hour, but it was obvious she was getting tired.
Florence was thrilled to give her a bottle before I grabbed Ava and put her down for a nap.
Once I leave Jude’s room, I sneak down the hallway and into my room to grab some clothes to cover the hickeys Jude left before returning to the main living space.
I walk into the living room at the same time I watch Nathaniel step out to the back porch.
My stomach drops at the idea of being alone with Jude’s mom.
She’s been nothing but nice to me since they showed up, but I’m nervous that being alone with her will lead to her asking questions I don’t have the answers to.
“I probably should’ve asked this earlier, but do you need anything to drink? Some food?” I ask, trying to make idle conversation with her.
Florence shakes her head. She sits on the couch with her ankles crossed, her hazel gaze locked on me. There’s a hint of a smile on her lips, but something about the way she looks at me makes me nervous. “No, thank you. Want to come sit next to me?”
My feet pause as I stare at the empty spot on the couch next to her. If I were honest, I’d tell her “not really,” but instead, I find myself closing the distance and taking the seat next to her.
I give her a tight-lipped smile, my heart beginning to race at the way she looks at me. It almost looks like she pities me, and I don’t like the sight of it. I don’t know why she’d look at me like that, but something about her demeanor tells me I’m about to find out.
“It’s very kind of you to step in and help Jude like this,” she begins.
I try to take a deep breath because maybe I’m overreacting and that’s all she wants to talk about.
It’d make sense that she just wants to extend her gratitude for stepping in and helping Jude when he needed it.
“Oh, thank you, but I’m happy to help out,” I respond, my voice a little unsteady.
I don’t know why I’m suddenly so nervous, but my intuition tells me this conversation is going to go in a direction I might not like.
She solidifies my gut feeling by clearing her throat and giving me a pensive stare. “Tell me, Charlotte…do you care about my son?”
My mouth opens and closes as I think of how to respond to her question. “Of course I do. We’ve grown close over the last year. He’s my friend.”
Her gaze slips to the marks that are now hidden underneath the fabric of my sweater. “And the way you care about him…it’s just as a friend?”
I twist my hands in my lap. I’m tired of having to lie to everyone when they ask me how I feel about Jude, but I’m also not ready to say out loud just how deep my feelings have gotten for him.
When I finally make sense of them and am finally ready to talk about them, I want Jude to be the first to hear it, not anyone else.
“Yes,” I lie. Truthfully, when I look at Jude, he feels like so much more than a friend, but I can’t say that to his mom. Not when I’m still figuring out what exactly it means to be falling for my best friend and especially not when I haven’t been honest with him about them either.
She stares at me for I don’t even know how long. Her posture is rigid, and her face is unreadable as she scans my face. Eventually, she sighs. “For your sake, I hope that’s the truth.”
My head rears back at her comment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I hope that you mean it when you say Jude is just your friend.”
All I can do is stare at her. If I ask her for more details, will it make it obvious to her that I definitely view him as more than just a friend?
Her shoulders fall as she lets out a long sigh.
She takes me by surprise by reaching out and clutching my hand in hers.
Despite the gesture, it still feels like you can cut the tension in the room with a knife.
“I love my son,” she begins, her tone cautious.
“He’s my only child. I’m lucky enough that even after he became an adult, we remained close.
I have friends whose sons never call them or make an effort to see their parents.
That isn’t Jude. He’s always called home and made a point to visit us, even when he’s busy with work and life. ”
I nod because I don’t know what else to do. It seems like there’s a but coming, and I’m nervous for what that’ll be.
“We made sure we gave him the world. He’s our only son and the heir to a company the family’s worked incredibly hard to build.
He’s worked hard his entire life, but he’s also had it easier than some.
Things have always come easily to him, and I’m worried that this next season of his life will really test him. ”
“He’s doing great,” I whisper, wishing I could put more strength into my words, but I’m too nervous for wherever this conversation seems to be leading to lace too much conviction into my words.
Florence nods. “I’m really proud of him for the way he’s handling things, but I just don’t want you to get hurt in the process of him figuring out his life.”
Even though I knew the but was coming, it doesn’t make what she says hurt any less. Especially when she’s bringing up one of my biggest fears when it comes to falling for him.
“Why would I get hurt?” I manage to get out, wanting to know her take on the situation.
She frowns for a moment as her gaze sweeps over me.
It feels like she was hoping I wouldn’t ask, but I can’t help it.
I’ve just met the woman, and she already feels the need to give me a warning when it comes to her son.
I want to use the opportunity to figure out why she feels the need to do that in the first place.
“Because…Jude’s always had this mental picture in his head that he would take over the family business, eventually settle down, get married, and have kids.
I know he didn’t put a time frame on it for himself, but he’s always mentioned the desire for a family.
I know he loves Ava, and she’s now his entire world, but the way things have panned out isn’t what he imagined for himself.
I’m worried with you being here, and the two of you spending so much time together, that he—and maybe even you—will get swept up in playing the part, and in the end, someone will get hurt.
I don’t want it to be my son, but I don’t want it to be you either. ”
I swallow as I try to fight the stinging in my eyes.
She’s basically echoing the same thing that Lucy said.
I’ve tried to push Lucy’s fear of me playing house to the back of my mind because it was only one opinion, but now with Florence saying the same thing, I can’t help but think a little deeper into both of their points.
Are we just playing house? Are the feelings between us only because of the situation we’re in? I’ve been so worried about messing up the friendship Jude and I have worked hard to build that I’ve tried not to even think too hard about Lucy’s words.
“Nothing’s happened,” I lie. My words come out weak, and the way she closes her eyes in disappointment for a moment before opening them to look at me again tells me she doesn’t believe me in the slightest.
“I think you’re a fantastic woman,” Florence begins.
“It takes someone special to jump in and help raise someone else’s baby.
I’m not taking that away from you. I truly don’t know what my son would do without you, but I think that might also be a problem.
I don’t want him to depend on you, let you in, and you decide that it’s all too much. ”
I shake my head, hating the fact that she thinks I’d ever be able to just walk away. “I wouldn’t be here if it was too much.”
Florence lets out a deep sigh. “You’re young, Charlotte. You still have so much life to live and to figure out. What happens when you realize that at twenty-four, you don’t want to settle down and raise someone else’s baby?”
I keep my mouth shut, even though I want to point out that I love Ava because she’s Jude’s.
I know she isn’t my blood, but that doesn’t make me care about her any less.
It doesn’t matter that she isn’t my blood.
I don’t love her any less. “I care about Jude, and I care about Ava. I don’t have plans to go anywhere. ”
Florence lets out a defeated sigh while she looks me in the eyes.
“You say that now. But things change. And I’d give the same advice to my son too.
I don’t want him to get lost in the idea of creating a family with you and having you step in for Ava and then one day wake up and realize he moved too quickly and you get hurt in return. ”
My eyes burn because she’s pointing out my biggest fear with all of this. It’s something I haven’t even wanted to think about because it hurts too much. But now that she’s said it out loud, I can’t think of anything else.
It’s only been a month since Ava came into our lives, and things have changed so quickly.
Before Ava, Jude and I were just fine being friends.
Is it because of Ava that we started feeling more for each other?
Are we both so swept up in this idea of a family together that we’ve convinced ourselves that we feel things for each other that wouldn’t be there if Ava weren’t in the picture?
Florence squeezes my hand, reminding me that she’d even reached out to hold it in the first place. “Just be careful with my son’s heart and with yours, okay? Really think about things.”
I nod. I can’t say anything because my throat is clogged with emotion. Even if I could manage to get words out, I don’t even know what I’d say in the first place. I’m too lost in analyzing her words and the last month of my life to even respond.
“And as much as I like you—and appreciate you stepping in and doing something not many women would—I want you to know my son and my granddaughter come first. If you hurt either of them…” She shakes her head and lets her words hang in the air for a moment.
She never gets to finish them before Jude walks in the door. “I’m home!” he exclaims, looking at the ground. “Now, where are my gir—” He looks up and pauses, his head cocking to the side.
“Mom?”