Chapter Three
Harlyn
The RedPrint Design’s conference room was not very big. I had figured that would be the case. They were definitely a step or two down from Linear Design Group which had offices across the country, including the one in New York where I was supposed to be finishing up my AXP hours, had Dani not shit all over those plans.
When Renee first told me about the position I was intrigued. I needed a place to finish up my hours and earn some money to get to New York. I admired Madeline’s work and I’d never had a problem with Janene so it seemed like a great idea, plus I could move back home with my mom and live rent free, but I also hadn’t talked to Janene in six years, it felt weird to ask her for a favor, and yet here I was, because once Renee got an idea in her head, there was no stopping her until she got her way.
Though I wasn’t one hundred percent on board with the plan that included living with my mother, I had given up my position with Linear, New York as soon as I realized I could not afford to live out there on my own. Caitlin had offered me a place to stay with the hope that I could get my Texas internship back but they had already replaced me. So, Denver was really my only option. It wasn’t a bad option.
When I met Madeline back in high school, I was in awe of this woman, this lesbian woman, that ran her own business. She was the person I wanted to be back then. She was smart and clever. She’d taken her signature red hair and made it her brand, hence the name RedPrint Designs. The way she ran with the red idea was genius.
I had come in for an interview with Madeline the week before and nailed it. She didn’t even bother with the standard “we’ll be in touch.” She offered me a spot in the internship program right then and there. I left the office confident that I was as good at my job as I had always assumed but now, standing in this tiny conference room, looking at my competition, I wasn’t so sure.
The conference table was no bigger than my mom’s dining room table though it was of a much better quality. I had to give Madeline credit for a well-designed space. I had interviewed at a firm in Texas, the summer before my third year in undergrad, that had a massive table in a conference room half the size of this one. There was barely enough room to pull your seat out to sit down. The RedPrint table may have only had seating for six, but the craftmanship was gorgeous.
Two of the seats at the table were taken. In one chair was a woman with long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail. There was something about the way it hung from the back of her head that made me think of a horse’s ass. When I walked in, she turned toward me and introduced herself as Anabelle. Minutes later, her ponytail was still swinging at her back. Aside from that detail, there wasn’t anything remarkable about her features, though she looked like she was twelve and hadn’t quite made it through puberty yet. There may have been a touch of jealousy in that first impression. Even at twelve I had hips and boobs that didn’t fit into the cool trendy clothes my friends were wearing.
The second person in the room was a guy. He introduced himself as Colby. He didn’t look much older than the woman. I knew they probably weren’t much younger than me, maybe third- or fourth-year undergrad students but still, they looked so stress free it made me feel old. That was the difference, I thought, between starting on a path toward your dream job and realizing that you were now going to be responsible for yourself for the rest of your life and you didn’t even have a real job yet. I took a deep breath and tried not to concentrate on the fact that I held a master’s degree and I was back at home, living with my mother. Colby tapped his earbud to resume the YouTube video he had been watching when I walked in. He was definitely not stressing about his future.
I looked him over again and noticed that he had bright auburn hair like Madeline’s. I wondered if they were related. Maybe I was not the only one who’d had someone pull strings for them. Of course, I didn’t know if my mom had pulled strings to get me the job or just the interview. The only way to find out was to ask Madeline pointblank and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know bad enough to accuse her of nepotism when she’d given me a job.
I loved my mother and I was grateful for everything she sacrificed for me but I’d been home for two weeks and she couldn’t stop treating me like I was still sixteen. Forget the fact that I had been supporting myself for the last two of the six years I was in Austin. Still, there were constant questions about whether or not I was eating right, acclimating to the elevation change because I had been away so long, drinking enough water, applying enough sunscreen. It was frustrating. And yet, it was welcomed in certain situations like having her run Dani off.
I had forgotten to mention to my mother that Caitlin and I had decided, when we applied for graduation the previous semester, that we were not going to sit through the ten-hour ordeal the school called a graduation ceremony just to get an empty diploma holder. My oversight meant she had purchased a plane ticket for a trip to Texas for said graduation which meant she was in town to help me pack up my apartment and move back home.
The night before we were set to leave Dani stopped by. She had done as I asked and moved her things out of my apartment the day after the incident at the club. It wasn’t like I was kicking her out into the street. She was in her last year of undergrad so she had a dorm room and a roommate to return to until graduation. My mom had answered the door and invited her in because again, keeping my mom at a distance, I had failed to tell her that Dani and I had broken up.
Dani and I had been going round and round for two weeks at this point. She wanted me to join her and Danny—because yes, the guy from the club was named Danny— in New York. This was her last attempt at changing my mind even though I had forfeited my share of the deposit on the studio apartment when I pulled out of the contract, but Dani decided she still wanted the place and stupidly re-signed the contract on her own. Danny had agreed to join her and that was great for them, but I was not going to be part of some polyamorous relationship. I was definitely not that girl even if I knew my feelings stemmed from heteronormative propaganda.
Renee went into protective mode when she realized what Dani was asking. I didn’t even try to stop her. She told Dani that in no uncertain terms was I ever going to move to what she called a loud, overcrowded, heathen city. It was funny to see the look on Dani’s face. I stood back and listened to the rant; my lips curved into a thin smile. Dani had only met my mother one other time in the year that we’d been together. She’d obviously forgotten how overbearing my mother could be, or maybe her new boyfriend had fucked that memory out of her.
I wasn’t head over heels in love with Dani, I didn’t see myself settling down or having a family with her, but we had a plan. She wanted New York for the theatre, I wanted it for the architecture, and we both wanted it for the nightlife. We’d had so much fun during our visit and she’d thrown it all away.
In that moment, I was glad I had taken my mother up on her offer to return home and finish up my AXP hours. She didn’t need to know that I was planning to get my license and then apply with Linear Design Group, New York as a junior associate, or that if they wouldn’t take me back, I would apply with any and every other architectural firm in New York. My grades were excellent and my work history was pristine, there was no way I wouldn’t be able to land a job with a well-known firm. As they say, I would cross that bridge when I got there.
“Good morning,” Janene said to the room as she walked in.
She didn’t immediately take a seat. Instead, she placed her leather satchel at the head of the table. She stood arms crossed which I was certain she meant as an intimidation tactic but I knew Janene, at least I had known her before I left for school, and that Janene was as gentle as they came. Her broad shoulders and chiseled jaw always gave off a tough guy vibe. I assumed that was from the time she’d spent in the military, but she was not that person at all. She was the woman that came over to my mom’s house and made us breakfast for dinner or she picked us up and took us on a drive that always resulted in a hiking trip. She was the one Renee leaned on when she and dad split up. I couldn’t imagine that she’d changed much in six years.
I watched the other two interns stiffen at the sight of Janene. I didn’t remember being that nervous when I started my AXP journey four years before and that was because I was joining a huge firm. I couldn’t imagine that this tiny company with no more than twenty employees could be any more demanding than the corporation I had come from. During my interview, Madeline had said the work was demanding but Linear did business across the globe, how much more grueling could RedPrint really be?
“My name is Janene. I will be your supervisor during your internship with RedPrint Designs.”
I looked Janene over, a little closer this time. When I’d come in for my interview she’d been in a meeting with a client. I hadn’t even had the chance to thank her for setting up the meeting. Now it seemed I probably owed her a thank you for the job too. She looked different from the woman I remembered. I couldn’t pinpoint why but something had changed.
She was wearing a pair of black slacks and a red silk blouse that did not go well with her complexion. She was fair complected but in a more yellow than red way and the bright shirt made her face look washed out. If she had been wearing a shirt better suited for her, maybe something in a dark purple or deep blue, I would have said she was cute, in an older woman kind of way. When I was in my early teens, and she’d come by for a visit, I would sit and watch her. I was so fascinated by her confidence. There never seemed to be a problem she couldn’t solve but she was also the kindest person I knew. She never made you feel like a fool for not knowing how to do something or in my case, for asking too many questions.
Then there were those few times I caught a glimpse of her in uniform. Even back then, a uniform did things to me. I had a pang of sadness at the thought that she didn’t wear a uniform anymore. I knew it was silly now to think of that little girl, crushing on her mother’s best friend, but for a while that was exactly what I had done.
The Janene standing at the head of the table though, I almost didn’t recognize. Her brown hair was short, not quite a masculine crop cut like she used to have when she was in the military but a mix between that and a pixie cut. It looked really good on her. It emphasized her high cheek bones, but there was something that kept pulling me back to her eyes. Something about them was different. It wasn’t the color exactly or even the small lines that now appeared around the edges. It was the lack of shine in them. I didn’t remember her eyes being so dull before. I remembered that there were times when she stayed away but she always came back and always with a bright smile. She was smiling at us as she talked, but that smile was not evident in her eyes.
“If you have never used the NCARB site, please let me know. I’m only going to go over the basics today. I won’t remind you to turn in your reports. They are time sensitive and if you miss your deadline, that’s on you,” she said. “My advice, turn them in as soon as you can.”
The other two interns were sitting so still, listening to every syllable that fell from Janene’s mouth, for a moment I thought maybe they were cardboard cutouts and not real human beings but they had spoken with me before Janene walked in. It was becoming more and more clear that if they were my competition, I was definitely coming out on top. Of course, they were not my competition, this was an internship but it was one that I hoped would not turn into a job. Still, it was a nice boost to my ego. A reminder that I didn’t need Dani, or Renee, or anyone else. I could find my way to New York all on my own.
“Ms. Russell?” I snapped my head toward Janene. She’d taken her seat at some point and I hadn’t even noticed. “Am I boring you?”
The way she called me by my last name, as if she didn’t know who I was caught me off guard. I liked it, it meant maybe she wasn’t doing my mom a favor after all, but there was a bit of a bite to her voice which could also mean she was annoyed to have to do this favor for my mom.
“No, not at all,” I replied. I had zoned out with all of her talk about logging hours and experience reports. That stuff was all old news to me.
“Then will you please open your handbook and follow along?” she asked.
I looked around the table and noticed that everyone had a new employee handbook and a binder in front of them, including me, only, mine was not opened. I had no idea how long they had been in discussion or what page they were on.
“I didn’t hand those out for my own benefit, Ms. Russell,” Janene added.
The blonde chuckled, which was such an over-the-top reaction, because what Janene said wasn’t even funny. Janene sent her a wink and the blonde blushed. I couldn’t help but doubt that blondie’s credentials were the reason she’d received her spot in the internship program. If that was the case, we could announce her the winner now, because that game was not for me.