Chapter Seven
Harlyn
The first full week of my internship was tough. I had a new understanding of why Madeline said the job was hectic. The firm was so small, it meant there were fewer people to do the same amount of work during the life of a project. It was more accurately described as there being only one person to do all the leg work: me.
Armande had assigned me to a project that was in its final phase to help me get acquainted with the staff and the process in which they did things. I wanted to tell him that I was not like the two younger interns that had no experience, but I didn’t want to upset anyone’s way of doing things. I just needed to ride out my time and get a good recommendation so that I could move on with my life.
The trouble with that plan was that I didn’t trust myself to keep my mouth shut about the way Anabelle and Janene were acting. Anabelle had no shame when it came to openly flirting with Janene. It was disgusting to watch. I’d come to pity her though. She was too na?ve to see that Janene was never going to take her seriously. Maybe it was my personal knowledge of Janene’s reputation that gave me that insight but it was becoming obvious that Janene really was the player my mom said she was and she was playing with Anabelle. One minute it was winks and broad smiles and the next Janene was talking to Anabelle in a cold, and stern professional tone. When I found myself trying to figure out if they were already sleeping together, I realized I was devoting way too much time to their drama. As the work week went by, I pushed myself to avoid both of them as much as I could. It was best if I kept my head down and just did my job.
By the end of the week my feet were hurting from all the walking I had been doing. Not just avoiding the office romance but both Madeline and Janene liked old school communication methods. In other words, everything was handled face-to-face. Why they couldn’t accept an email from time to time was beyond me. That meant that Armande, who was clearly younger than Madeline, probably in his late twenties, maybe early thirties, did things the way they did to keep things consistent. I wondered if it annoyed him, of course he seemed like an old soul, maybe he too preferred in-person interactions. I didn’t necessarily care except that I loved my heels and being on my feet all day was not fun. I reminded myself that if anything, I was getting all my steps in.
“How are you liking the job?” my mom asked when we sat down for dinner the following Monday night.
“It’s not bad. The guy I’m working with is really nice. We’re almost done with our project though. I expect that tomorrow he’ll give me something different to do. I wish they wouldn’t treat me like the other interns. I have tons of experience and they seem to forget that.”
“Maybe, if you worked closer with Janene, she would see that.” My mother’s voice hitched. “Would you like for me to talk to her?”
That raise in pitch was a sound I had come to loath. It meant she was preparing to stick her noise in my business and most likely cause problems.
“NO! Mom, if you get involved, I will go back to Texas. I swear. You cannot interfere.”
“I’m not going to interfere.” Her features were all scrunched up as if I had just offended her virtue.
My mother was a small woman but she made herself visible with her overly exaggerated expressions. There was always a tsk or her favorite move, throwing her hands in the air. That was what I called her exasperated look. It didn’t necessarily mean she was exasperated, but she wanted you to believe she was.
“I can just ask her what she thinks about your experience, remind her that you’ve been doing this for years.”
“She knows this, she got a copy of my resume. Do not talk to her about me.”
“Okay.”
She ran her hands through her hair a few times. That was a good sign. It meant she was starting to come to terms with my request.
My defenses relaxed. My mom always meant well and most times I could look the other way but lately she was holding on tighter than she ever had and it was suffocating. I didn’t have to be a mom myself to know that she was dreading the day I left home for good. Being the baby of the family had its perks but it also came with its share of burdens. I was the last one to leave. I was the reason she would live alone for the rest of her life. That wasn’t fair but it was our reality.
The summer before my senior year in high school Renee told me that she had never lived alone. We were talking about how different things were for her when she was in high school and she mentioned that even if she had been able to go off to college, she wouldn’t have. She was too afraid to be by herself. She’d grown up in a house with four other siblings. She got pregnant in high school and moved into her then boyfriend’s, now ex-husband’s parents’ house. A few years later, she and my father bought their first house and soon it was filled with her own kids. It was a sad story in a way and yet it was one of the few times when I felt like my mom wasn’t telling me because she was trying to manipulate me, she was just reminiscing.
I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe she’d made it through the last six years by telling herself that my time away at school was a temporary situation, that I would come home and we’d live as roommates for the rest of our lives.
“Mom, promise me that I will not be the topic of discussion when the two of you do whatever old lady things you do.”
“Hey, we’re not old!” she scoffed.
There was a hint of laughter in her reply. I could always rely on a joke about her age to bring her around. Aside from being petite, a gene I did not fully inherit, I only got the short legs, my mother looked half her age. Genes aside, my mom was young but she always acted like she was ancient because her children were grown. It had become a running joke that when I was done with school, we were going to have to put her in a nursing home.
“I was thinking I’d invite Janene over for dinner this weekend,” she said. “We haven’t had our bi-monthly dinner. What do you think?”
I had been dreading the day Janene showed up at my mom’s house as my mom’s friend and I was expected to smile and be polite. It was exhausting enough to smile and act polite at work. I didn’t want to have to carry that performance home with me. I needed some time to adjust to this version of Janene. She was so different and I hadn’t figured out how to reconcile the person from my childhood with this woman.
“I can make myself scarce.”
“Well, you don’t have to do that. I was thinking it would be fun if you joined us.”
“Mom, that’s weird.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because, she’s your friend, and for the time being she’s, my boss.”
“Oh, stop it. You’ve known Janene all your life. She’s been to your birthday parties, and dance recitals, and all kinds of special events. You’re making more out of this than is there.”
“The fact that my mom got me a job is weird and embarrassing enough if I’m being honest.”
“What? Why?”
“Because, I’m an adult. I can look after myself.”
“I know honey. I’m just trying to help. Hey maybe things will go so well with this firm that you’ll stay on with them.”
I shook my head. “Is that what this is all about? I am not going to stay with RedPrint. I have bigger plans than that.”
“Really, like what?”
There was a part of me that wanted to tell her about New York and how much I craved to live in the big city, but there was that part of me that knew it was going to crush her. I hoped instead that if I held off just a little bit longer, I could prove to her that I knew how to take care of myself so that when I finally told her, she’d be more willing to accept it.
“Look, Mom, even if I wanted to stay with Janene’s firm, I’m pretty sure that I’m not blonde enough for the job.”
“Blonde enough? You’re not blonde at all.”
“My point exactly.”
“I’m not following.”
“One of the other interns has been flirting with Janene and it seems to be working. I think if she has a vote in who they might keep, it’s going to be Blondie.”
“That’s nonsense. I mean I know Janene has her issues, but I can’t see her going after some teenybopper.”
“Wow, first off, how old are you that you’re using that term, and second Anabelle has to be at least twenty.”
“Well, for those of us in our mid-forties, twenty is quite young.”
“I’m just telling you what I see when I’m at work.”
Mom got a serious look on her face. Her forehead was furrowed, I could tell she was not liking what I was implying and then I realized I never should have said anything to her.
“Mom, look at me,” I said. “You cannot divulge any part of this conversation to Janene.”
“Harlyn, I would never.”
“Mom, I see it all over your face. You want to ask her what’s going on with her and Blondie and you cannot. It is none of our business. I never should have said anything. Keep this between us, do you hear me?”
“I’m not going to say anything to her.”
“And you’re not going to ask her questions either, right?”
My mom huffed out a breath as if I was being ridiculous for even thinking that she would say something to Janene.
“Promise me.”
“Fine.”
My phone rang and I was willing to take the call even if it was Dani. Luckily it was Caitlin.
“I promised Caitlin we’d FaceTime tonight.” I shook my phone at her before I answered and took the opportunity to flee the dining room and the conversation.
“Well, hello there gorgeous,” Caitlin said.
“Hello princess. You can’t even imagine how happy I am to see your beautiful face right now.”
“Why do I get the feeling that you only mean that because I’m rescuing you from mommy dearest and not because you actually miss me.” There was serious accusation in her eyes.
“Can’t it be a little of both?” I confessed.
I closed the door to my room and threw myself on my bed. I had not had a real conversation with Caitlin in a week. We’d exchanged a few texts but we were both so busy with work we hadn’t had a chance to chat.
“I’m going to ignore that,” she said giving me a forgiving smile. “So, what’s new. How is Colorado life treating you? Do you miss Texas yet? Are you coming home soon?”
It was funny to hear her call Texas home. I’d spent the last six years explaining to every person I met that Colorado was my home, but it didn’t feel like home anymore. I still had plenty of friends and family in town, but it wasn’t the same. Austin never really felt like home either, but it felt closer to my definition of home than Denver. New York City, that felt like home. Every visit made my heart race and I couldn’t wait to get that feeling back.
“God, I wish. I can’t believe I gave up my internship with Linear. I should have listened to you and stayed behind. I should have pleaded to get my job back. I was so stupid to trust Dani, wasn’t I?”
“I wouldn’t say stupid. I might say you had tunnel vision with the city of New York being at the other end of that tunnel, but I would never say stupid. Is it really that bad? I thought you knew people at this firm.”
“I thought I did too. It turns out neither one of them is the same person I remembered. Madeline is not involved in any part of this internship with the exception of interviewing me. She took two personal days this past week, so I haven’t seen much of her. Janene’s the one I wish would take a personal day or two.”
“Isn’t she the one that’s mommy dearest’s friend?”
“Yeah, but she’s quite the womanizer. It’s really weird to see her flirt with all the women in the office. She has this ridiculous wink that she throws around.”
“Tell me more,” Caitlin said. “She sounds like my type.” If Caitlin were a puppy, I was sure I’d be seeing her ears perk up and her head tilt at this point in the conversation.
“God, please don’t say that. It’s frustrating. I just want this summer to be over already.”
“So, she’s been hamming it up with you? What would mommy dearest say if she found out?”
“What? No, she’s not chatting me up.” I shook out my body to rid that image from my head. “That would be weird.”
“Why? She’s hot. I’ve seen photos at your mom’s.”
“Caitlin! Don’t be gross. She’s my mom’s friend.”
“So, she can’t be hot?”
“No. I can’t think about her like that.”
“Didn’t you say you used to have a crush on her when you were in high school, why is it different now?”
“Because.”
I couldn’t think of a specific reason to give her, it just was. Back then I was innocent, my crush was innocent. Now as an adult, my definition of intimacy was far from that. My sexual experiences aided in conjuring up very vivid images in my head that did not need to include Janene.
“I think it’s the perfect opportunity for you to relieve some stress.”
“Um, no.”
“Think about it. Yes, she’s your mom’s friend but you know that means she’s going to be discreet because she won’t want mommy dearest finding out. She’s also someone you work with, which is what makes it so hot. Work flings are always hot and she obviously has tons of experience. Who doesn’t like a woman who knows what she’s doing. Imagine how much fun this could be.”
Caitlin was not the type to shriek but the look on her face said she wanted to.
“Maybe you should come out here and get to know her yourself,” I laughed.
There was something about the way Caitlin’s eyes sparkled when I said those words that made me cringe. It was as if she was imagining Janene in an intimate way and I didn’t like it.
“Maybe,” she said. She bit down on her lower lip. “You can introduce me when I come down for your birthday. Sleeping with an older woman is on my bucket list after all.”
It had not crossed my mind that at some point over the summer, Caitlin and Janene might meet in person. Caitlin wouldn’t hesitate to make a move if she thought she had a chance. That would be a disaster. My best friend hooking up with my mom’s best friend. I shook my head.
“Stop it. Can we please change the subject? I’m starting to feel nauseous. Any chance you can rescue me this weekend? My mom is inviting Janene over for dinner.”
“That sounds like fun, why would you want to be rescued.”
“You don’t understand. I used to adore this woman, now I can’t stand her and my mom expects me to be cordial with her. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I need a really good excuse to get out of this dinner.”
“Tell her you have a date.”
“You know that’s not good enough for mommy dearest.”
“Why do you hate this woman so much again?”
“I don’t know. I don’t hate her, exactly. I just don’t understand her. She was everything my mom wasn’t when I was a kid. Now I’m learning she’s really a slime ball.”
“Just suck it up this one time then after that you can give every excuse in the book to mommy dearest. Maybe she’ll even notice the tension between you and never ask you to join them again.”
If only that were true. Renee never noticed anything. I spent my entire life spelling things out for her. Caitlin had a point though. If I made a mess of dinner, caused a scene or made Renee uncomfortable, she’d stop inviting me. It was risky and would probably cause me a little pain but it seemed like the perfect solution.