Chapter Twenty-Four
Janene
My phone rang with an area code I didn’t recognize. That wasn’t unusual anymore because I had yet to memorize the codes associated with my new home. I knew I was in the 210-area but that was the extent of my knowledge. The crews I had been working with were in my contact list so it was unlikely to be work related. I let it go. When two minutes later my phone buzzed with a voicemail, I was curious. Hardly anyone ever left a voicemail anymore. I heard “Hey, this is Caitlin…” I immediately hung up and dialed the number back.
“Is Harlyn alright?” I asked as soon as she answered.
My heart was pounding. I’d had nightmares about getting a phone call like this one, never having the opportunity to speak to Harlyn again, to apologize for the complete asshole I was. I’d sent her messages and left her voicemails wishing her well. Hoping that she was enjoying her new life in NYC, hoping that one day we might be friends but she never responded. Not even an angry, get lost.
“Hi, to you too,” Caitlin said.
“Please tell me she’s alright.”
I started to pace my office. It wasn’t anything like the one I had in Denver. This one was tiny. What you might expect from a startup business. I liked it. It was Simple. A small desk, two chairs and a drawing board. That was all I needed.
“Geez, don’t you listen to your voicemails? I specifically said don’t panic, Harlyn is fine.”
“Sorry, I didn’t get that far. I can’t imagine why else you would be calling me.”
“To talk, to say hi, to see how you’re doing?” Her voice was light as if we were the best of friends catching up after work. Caitlin didn’t seem to have much use for me the one and only time we met. These fake pleasantries were grinding my nerves.
“Cut the bullshit.”
“Fine, I need to talk to you. It’s Harlyn related but not a she’s dying kind of thing. I didn’t realize you were in Texas.”
“What do you need?”
“Did we get off on the wrong foot? I thought you liked me, why are you giving me attitude right now?”
“Harlyn wants nothing to do with me, so why are you calling me? If she’s fine, then what’s this about? Unless she’s asked you to call me.”
I was suddenly filled with hope. Maybe Harlyn had asked Caitlin to find me. To reach out and see if I was still willing to talk things out. That didn’t make sense though.
“She has my number. I never changed my number. Why didn’t she call me herself? Are you sure she’s, okay?”
“Calm down psycho,” Caitlin laughed. “Harlyn did not send me. As a matter of fact, she has no idea that I called you. I wanted to talk to you. That’s it. I’m trying to help Harlyn with something and I have some questions. Can we meet for a drink?”
“You’re in San Antonio?”
“I’m about an hour away. If you’re willing to meet with me, I’ll come to you.”
“Today?”
“If you have the time, if not, then maybe tomorrow, but it has to be in the next day or two.”
I looked at my phone it was 4 p.m. and I had absolutely nothing to do after work. Who was I kidding, this was the closest I’d been to Harlyn in over six months, of course I was going to meet with her.
“I can meet you today. What time?”
“Let’s say six because five o’clock traffic will start in about thirty minutes and I don’t know how badly that will delay my commute.”
“I can meet you half way.”
“Nah, no use in us both getting stuck in traffic. Pick a place to meet and send me the address. I’ll be on my way soon.”
I hung up and did a quick search for a good bar near my place. There were plenty including the bar that was part of the hotel that I lived above, but I wanted something smaller, some place where we could talk in private. I wanted to make sure I heard every word she had to say about Harlyn. I saved the number Caitlin called from and then sent her a text with my address.
“This is a really nice place,” Caitlin said when I let her into my condo.
“Thanks. I wasn’t sure how private the conversation needed to be. I also wasn’t sure if you were driving back tonight so I didn’t want to send you home intoxicated.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
She gave me a once over, like she was meeting me for the first time. I wondered how much Harlyn had told her about the day I kicked her out of my apartment, or if she told her that I had been calling and texting nonstop since the day she left for New York. They both had every right to hate me, but Caitlin didn’t seem like she was there to tell me off. She also didn’t seem nervous to be meeting with me even though she’d confessed to doing it behind Harlyn’s back.
“How did you find me?” I asked as I showed Caitlin to the living room.
“Madeline.”
I pointed toward the sofa and Caitlin took a seat. “You know Madeline?”
“I know of her and her business so that’s where I started.”
I nodded. “I have a variety of beer and bottled water if any of that interests you.”
“A water would be great.”
I only remembered to offer because I needed a moment alone. A moment to reset. Caitlin was in my home. There were hundreds of questions flying through my mind. I wanted to know everything about the last six months. Did Harlyn like her new job, was she taking on any big project. Of course she was, she was brilliant, Linear would be crazy not to put her talents to work. Was New York everything she hoped it would be? Did she think about me, miss me at all? Would she ever forgive me? I grabbed two bottles of water and returned to the living room.
“How is she?” I asked as I settled into a chair in the living room. If Caitlin fled and I only got to ask one question the entire night, that was the one I needed an answer to.
Caitlin peered down at her water bottle and didn’t immediately reply. She uncapped it, took a drink, started to recap it but then decided she needed another drink.
“If you need something stronger, you can always crash in my extra bedroom.”
Caitlin laughed. “How about something stronger for this conversation and then some coffee before I leave?”
I agreed and then retrieved us each a Beehive.
“You Coloradoans don’t stray from your homegrown beer,” Caitlin said after she took her first drink.
“Everything else doesn’t taste right.” I attempted a smile but it didn’t feel right. Harlyn would have agreed and replied with some smart-alecky remark.
“Have you always been a fan or is it just because this is her favorite?” Caitlin asked.
I wasn’t surprised that Caitlin knew Harlyn’s favorite beer but there was something about the way she mentioned Harlyn without mentioning her that tugged at my heart. I looked down at the bottle in my hand and remembered that first time we shared a drink.
“A little of both,” I said.
“I thought so.”
I looked up and found Caitlin studying me. This situation, the one where I’m sitting in my living room talking to Harlyn’s best friend without Harlyn, wasn’t one I ever imagined. I had thought to track her down numerous times but I knew very little about Caitlin. The things I did know made me think she would gouge my eyes out before she helped me get in contact with Harlyn. Which is why I was intrigued by her visit.
“Harlyn knows what Renee did,” she said. “She isn’t doing well. Before you freak out, I don’t mean health wise. I mean emotionally. She’s miserable in New York, she can’t bring herself to forgive Renee, and then there’s you.”
I shifted in my chair, that was a lot of information to process. I wasn’t sure what to make of that last part but the truth was I didn’t care about that as much as what Caitlin said about Harlyn knowing what Renee had done and that she was unhappy in New York.
“How did she find out? She wasn’t supposed to find out, that defeats the whole purpose of this stupid situation!”
“Renee told her.”
I shook my head. “I knew it. I knew the moment Renee had an opportunity—I wish I could take it all back. It was such a stupid plan. I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix it.”
“I don’t know either, but I do know you have to fix it.”
“What am I supposed to do? She won’t talk to me.”
“You didn’t hear this from me, but she still loves you, Janene, and that alone is killing her. She wants to forgive you but she doesn’t know how.”
“She shouldn’t. I don’t deserve forgiveness. She’s smart, she’ll figure out how to move on. I’ll stop calling.” My entire body felt hallow. “I just wanted us to be friends but if she knows everything… I’ll leave her alone.” I tilted my beer back and drained the content of the bottle.
Caitlin shook her head. “Every time we chat, I expect to see that she’s taken off the necklace you gave her, but she still wears it. She can’t let go any more than you can. Stop being the martyr.”
“I fucked up Caitlin. You’re not a martyr when you’ve made someone so miserable she hates the only place she ever loved. New York is her home. It’s the whole reason I did the things I did.”
“I don’t think New York is her home anymore. She won’t admit it yet, but you’re her home.” She set down her beer on the coffee table and moved to the edge of the sofa. “That’s why I’m here. Normally I wouldn’t get involved, I’d let things play out however they played out, but I can’t stand to see her like this anymore. Hell, even you’re depressing me. She’s afraid to get her heart broken a second time, but I don’t think you’ll do that.”
I shook my head. “You don’t know me. I’m a terrible person. She needs someone who can offer her the world. Renee was right. I was right in the beginning. I never should have let things go as far as they did.”
“The fact that you would give up everything to make her happy proves just how much you love her. I think she needs someone like that in her life. I’ve convinced her to come see me next month. She’s going to be in Austin for a week. I think you should give it one more try. Get creative, do your absolute best to prove you love her. I’m willing to help but this has to be all you. I cannot be the mastermind behind the wooing. She’ll know and it will only make her hate us both.”
That was quite an offer from the woman that couldn’t do more than stare me down when we first met.
Caitlin stood up. “Do you have a pool table by chance? I’d really like to finally kick your ass at pool.”