28. Chapter 28
Chapter twenty-eight
Baz twirled his wrists and pressed his fingertips against each other. The cobwebs above turned the ceiling of the shabby hallway gray. He sighed out a long breath and knocked. His heart drummed in his ear—and stopped altogether at the faint thuds behind the door.
Naija cocked one eyebrow at him and crossed her arms, her shoulder resting against the doorframe. Gray sweatpants sat low on her hips, just underneath a golden belly button piercing. The keeper of the gate to Sami’s shelter, the final hurdle on his quest for forgiveness.
“Can I see him?” Baz asked in lieu of a greeting.
“Are you gonna make him cry again?”
Sami had been crying?
Baz’s heart, that he had so carefully patched together on his way over, came undone at the seams, forcing the air out of his lungs. Baz shook his head. He’d do anything he could to get this right.
Naija pushed the door open wide enough for him to step through, her glare never losing its edge, never finding a new target.
Notes of cumin and garlic enriched the air. He didn’t allow himself to marvel for too long at the lit sea of fairy lights above the somehow even more cluttered living room. That was a privilege he had to earn.
Naija cleared her throat. Her eyes darted to his feet. Oh. Baz kicked off his shoes like he had seen Sami do.
“For the record, I’m glad you came,” she said, softer.
“Yeah?”
“He needs someone other than me to believe him. I hope that’s gonna be you.”
So did Baz. Only when he nodded again did she retreat to what he assumed was her room. Another door was ajar enough to reveal a sink and shower. That left one option.
His knuckles hit wood.
A groan sounded from the other side.
“I said I’m fine, Naija.” A scruffy, not-fine-sounding Sami said. Baz ignored the tightness stabbing his chest. That was his to deal with, later.
“It’s me. Can we talk?”
Silence. Baz didn’t dare to breathe. Would Sami ignore him until he left? Had he crossed a boundary by coming here? But then what about the envelope—
Something heavy hit the floor, rattling the reddish boards under Baz’s feet. The door swung open.
Sami’s curls were a mess he craved to smooth out. His widened hazel eyes were heartbreakingly puffy. He wore Baz’s shirt, the one he had borrowed the night Aya caught them, crinkled like the paper of an unfolded origami figure. Positively disheveled and so damn beautiful.
“I got your envelope. I tried to catch up with you, but…”
Sami’s throat bobbed. “I heard voices. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“I wish you had. I’m so sorry, Sami. I was a fucking idiot to confront you like that. I didn’t even think about what was at stake for you.”
Sami shrugged his right shoulder. “It’s okay. Ian doesn’t need a reason to be mad at me.”
That made it so much worse. “I still shouldn’t have given him one. And you didn’t deserve me freaking out at you like that or ignoring you for days either, I just… I’m sorry.”
Nodding, Sami shoved his hands in the pockets of his navy sweatpants, his gaze low. “I’ve done worse things to better people. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. I heard how it went. I thought if I made you think I betrayed your trust, you’d win the motion on spite alone.”
Did he really think he mattered so little that something as silly as sending Baz away would stop him from worrying? No case, no promotion, could ever be more important than Sami’s safety.
“I don’t care about the hearing. I care that he threatened you.”
“He does that.”
“That doesn’t make it okay! You deserve better than that. Better than him. Better than how I’ve been acting. I know I haven’t given you any reasons to trust me today, but if you’ll allow me, I’d like to help make sure he’ll never threaten you again.”
Sami regarded him with a pained smile Baz wished he could ease. “You’re not supposed to care about me like that.”
“Too late.” Sami must have known that, or why else had he dropped the envelope at Baz’s door?
“I meant, I’m not a good person to care about, Baz. My life is fucked up, and I shouldn’t have dragged you into it—”
“I love you.” The words burst out of him, too loud to be contained any longer. Their sweet taste lingered in his mouth, so addictive, he wanted to utter them over and over again.
Sami’s jaw dropped. His lower lip quivered.
Baz took a step closer, tentatively hooked his index finger around Sami’s. “I love you. I want to be in the mess with you.”
“Baz…” It sounded like a plea, but on his life, Baz didn’t know what for. Sami already had his whole heart, butchered and torn and sewn back together as it was, but all his.
“I love you,” Baz whispered again.
Finally—finally—Sami threw his arms around his neck.
Oh, thank god he had done that. Baz embraced him with all the love he felt, savored the smell of oakmoss and lime. His heart expanded to twice its size. He never wanted to let go again.
When Sami’s shoulders trembled, when his hot breath got quicker against his neck, Baz squeezed him tighter, stroking through his wonderfully thick, silky hair. He pressed kiss after kiss on Sami’s head.
Sami looked up with reddened eyes, glowing like the blood moon. He cupped the back of Baz’s head and kissed him.
“You really are an idiot,” he mumbled against Baz’s lips. From him, it sounded like the greatest compliment anyone could receive. If loving Sami was idiotic, Baz would wear that title with pride.
He kissed Sami again, simply had to. He’d do this forever, if he was allowed. Once they got rid of Damocles’s sword hanging above their heads.
“Sami… What does Ian have on you?”
“I—” Sami bit the sentence off before it could take flight, withdrew his arms. Baz wasn’t ready to let go yet. He intertwined his hands on Sami’s lower back to make a point of that, too.
A crooked smile lit up Sami’s face, fading as soon as it appeared.
“I was kicked out of law school when they caught me selling my meds.”
“I know.” Baz had long stopped caring about that. Sami had done what he needed to do.
“Before that, I was a summer associate at Ian’s firm, and I worked mostly with him.
We got along. And when he heard about my arrest, he offered to bail me out.
Said it would be a waste of talent if I quit and that I could work for him as a trainee-associate.
One year, and I’d clear the ABA’s requirement to be certified.
He promised he’d pull the strings to make it happen for me, and I was so thrilled, I didn’t think twice.
But a few weeks in, he asked me to do… things.
Not exactly legal things. And when I said no, he…
” Sami squeezed his eyes shut. Baz stroked his cheek to ease the cramping muscles. A single tear collided with his finger.
“His face turned to stone and he said it’s too late. My name’s already attached to his schemes, and if I tried to leave or said a word to anyone, he’d make sure my next arrest would stick.”
“You’re his fall guy,” Baz realized. No wonder Sami went wherever Ian did, so Ian always had someone to blame. He truly was the devil.
“Yeah. The rules mean nothing to him, only results do. And he made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t intend for our arrangement to end any time soon. I’m trapped working for him until he loses interest or decides to destroy me.”
What if their relationship was what made Ian follow through on his threats? Why the hell had Sami risked that? No, first things first. “All that stuff in that envelope is evidence of his misconduct. Why don’t you report him?”
“I tried. I found a prosecutor at court and told her Ian threatened me. She laughed in my face.”
Hot blood rushed into Baz’s head. “She can’t do that! Who was it?” She would go down right next to Ian—
“Someone who doesn’t work there anymore,” Sami said softly.
His palm cooled Baz’s cheek. “But she made it very clear she wouldn’t take the word of some law school dropout loser with a criminal record over Ian’s, the prestigious lawyer who has worked hundreds of cases that would all get delegitimized if any wrongdoing was discovered.
Told me I’m lucky she wouldn’t tell Ian I tried to sabotage him, and I should be grateful to be learning from such a great lawyer. ”
“That’s horrible! She had no right to dismiss you like that.”
“Maybe. It probably wouldn’t have worked out, anyway. Ian has the resources to make it look like I fabricated half of that stuff I gave you and the connections to get the other half dismissed at court. He’ll go free and I’ll be the only one left looking guilty.”
“So, you gave it to me to, what, turn you both in?” If Sami thought there was a world in which Baz would betray him so, he had another thing coming.
Sami shook his head. His thumb swiped over Baz’s jaw. “Use it as leverage to get your settlement deal. Threats are the only language Ian speaks. Your plaintiffs deserve justice.”
“No. He’ll know where it came from.”
“I know,” Sami said darkly. “I’ve had one foot in jail since the day I signed his deal. At least I can do some good on my way out. I mean, scamming forty-plus people with cancer out of their rightful settlement money feels like a first-class ticket to hell. And… you deserve to get your dream.”
That dream was silly in the first place. His desire for grandeur was not worth more than Sami’s life. There were other ways to win the case, and Aya, being the amazing lawyer she was, would find them. Especially when Ian was no longer in the way.
“I don’t want it anymore. I want you to be safe, and I want Ian to pay. You and I, we can take him down for good.”
Aya would be on board, and he’d recruit every other lawyer Ian had only won against with his shady dealings—
“I can’t let you do that, honey,” Sami said. “We’re not trading your life for mine. I’m sorry, I should have left the moment you started caring about how my day was, instead of dragging you—”