Chapter 7
MAISEY
Ewan…
My breath catches, my heart right there in my throat, making it impossible to swallow. I try to inhale, my entire chest constricting, reminding me of all the oxygen he stole straight out of the atmosphere.
He looks better than anyone has any business looking in a gray T-shirt turned almost charcoal thanks to the rain.
There’s a million things I want to say. That I want to ask. Starting with how he knew where to find me. But the words don’t come. I can’t make them go. I can only squeak out two little syllables.
“Ewan.”
He takes half a step toward me, closing the already small distance between us, stealing what’s left of my ability to think.
“I lied.”
W-wh-what?!
“I love you. I’ve always loved you. Always.”
Always…always. My mind reels, that simple, six-letter word sending my world into a tailspin. Never mind the three not so little words that were paired with it.
Always.
Who does he think he is, dropping that word like that?
“You, Maisey…you were my life. Not this town. You,” he says, his voice warbling slightly. “I not only would have sworn it in blood, but I would have married you right then and there had Judge Robinson and our parents let us get away with such a thing at thirteen.”
I reel back, the blow of his words hitting me like a wrecking ball.
They’re everything I’ve wanted to hear for so long—the words I’ve secretly fantasized about—but they don’t seem real.
I bite down on the inside of my lip, testing to make sure I’m not dreaming.
Sure enough, I feel the sharpness of my teeth, letting me know that I’m not in some junk food-induced coma on the couch.
This is real.
“The only thing I ever wanted was for you to see me as more than a best friend. To cross that line. There were so many times I almost told you, and I chickened out every time, so afraid that you didn’t see me that way.
That you viewed us as a younger version of Hux and Dolly—the perfect platonic pair. ”
Ewan continues, the words rushing from him like water over Niagara Falls. As if him not getting it all out in a single breath might kill him.
“I had this whole plan in my head, that we were going to come back here after graduation, and I was going to convince Old Man Jennings to sell the shop so that I could make it part of Hayes, and take that plan you’d drawn up on that napkin when we were in Florida and put it into action.
That once we were back here, in Hickory Hills, and I was living up to my family name, you could see me as someone who was worthy of you. ”
Worthy of him? My heart slams against my chest, the ability to breathe becoming harder and harder the more he continues. He really thought that? He thought he didn’t deserve me? No, this isn’t right.
I look up at him, not sure what I’m going to find, but still shocked by what I see.
Tears.
Ewan’s blue eyes are glassy and there is no mistaking the tremble in his bottom lip. Raindrops run down his face, but do little to disguise the pain once the dam breaks. Turns out, tears and raindrops look nothing alike.
“I know you used to talk about seeing the world all the time, but I never thought you’d actually leave.
And that day that you asked me to go with you, I should have said yes.
I know that. And not a day has gone by that I don’t regret my answer.
That I don’t regret missing out on the adventures that we could have had.
Because I was too deep in thinking that I had to stay here, be a Hayes, instead of…
” He trails off, swallowing hard. Pressing his eyes shut, he inhales hard and deep, like he’s pushing down every emotion he’s ever felt.
I want to reach out, to grab him and tell him it’ll be okay, but I’m paralyzed in place.
“All I know is I missed ten years of being your best friend. Ten years of loving you from far away instead of up close. And I don’t want to miss the next ten.
Backup plan or not, I want a future with you, Maisey. ”
You do?
I stand here, stunned, my body as frozen as a block of marble. I should react—say something, anything—but can’t. My vocal cords are betraying me. It’s like a wad of cotton has been shoved far down my throat, preventing anything else from moving past it.
“Say something, Maisey,” Ewan says, his voice cracking. “Even if it’s just telling me to get the hell off your step.”
I try. I really do. But I can’t; I’m too shocked.
Ewan Hayes loves me.
Another long moment of silence passes, my insides doing a conga line, while my outsides fail to react in any sort of matching form. The rain picks up again, the sound of it echoing off every surface. Ewan’s face falls, his eyes fluttering shut as he sighs, his whole body deflating.
He nods curtly, flicking his gaze back up to me. “It’s been good to see you, Mais.”
Turning slowly, he dips his head, as if that’s somehow going to save him from the rain, then heads down the small flight of stairs. I watch him, my pulse thundering, heart calling out to him like a ship in the night, trying to bring him back.
Maisey Margaret Phillips…don’t be a dumbass…
I can hear my grandmother’s voice loud and clear in my head.
Although, to be fair, Grandma probably wouldn’t use the word dumbass.
She’d tell me to stop being dumber than a bag of hammers or some other gentle Southern insult.
But either way, she’d have no problem tearing me up one side and down the other over this.
That boy did not just stand here pourin’ his heart out for you to not do the same, young lady…
No…no, he did not.
Without another thought, I take off running. The rain is cold, my bare feet scrunching from the shock as my toes hit the puddles. But I can’t let him get away. Not again.
Good thing he didn’t get far.
“Ewan Porter Hayes!” I scream into the rain. “You’re an idiot!”
Ewan spins around, his hands tucked into his pockets, fractals of light from the streetlamp shining through the rain behind him. He opens his mouth to respond—maybe to argue—but I don’t let him.
“I love you. I always have. You have never been my backup plan. Ever. You were my primary plan. At least until you told me you didn’t want me.”
I swallow hard. Reaching down to find the same courage he did to tell me all those things. And I do.
I find the small box I’ve kept hidden inside me of all the things I’ve wanted to say.
Wanted to scream at him. And I unleash it.
Right here, in the middle of the pouring rain, in the back alley between the main strip of stores downtown, the old historic house that has been converted into apartments.
“How could you possibly believe that I didn’t love you?
How?” I throw my arms out wide, not bothering to fight the tears that push through.
“That was the whole reason I made the ketchup pact to begin with. Because I thought the only chance I would ever have at being your girl was to be your backup plan. And that day I asked you to come with me? That was me handing you my heart, you dumbass! That’s why I told you I wanted us to be together! ”
I suck in a breath, getting ready to unleash the next round. To continue to let him have it. To put him in his place.
But Ewan has another idea.
He closes the gap between us in three massive strides, his gait purposeful and determined.
I don’t have time to breathe, much less think, before his hands are cradling my head, fingers weaving through my hair, and his lips are pressed to mine.
He captures my mouth in a hard, punishing kiss, and everything stops.
All out stops.
Instantly, I see stars, the gentle power of his lips and the taste of his tongue overpowering me in a way that I can’t describe.
Every inch of me starts to tingle, this indescribable feeling flowing through me like lava, from the top of my head straight to the tip of my toes.
Nothing else matters, nor will it ever matter again.
Because right now, all there is, is this.
The safety and peace of Ewan Hayes’s kiss.
I grip on to him tighter, trying to make this last. I’ve waited so long for this, resigned myself to never knowing what this would be like, and I know that no matter when it ends, it will be over too soon.
But then he deepens it, yanking me in closer, his tongue swiping against mine, and I’m done for.
Nothing else will ever live up to this.
Slowly—hesitantly—Ewan pulls back, his lips lingering against mine for a beat, sending another shock wave through me. I attempt to catch my breath, something that is easier said than done, not sure that I can stand on my own two feet.
Rocking backward, I try, my knees wobbling, but Ewan is right there, catching me as I stumble from his knee-weakening kiss. I hold on tight, wrapping my fingers around his thick forearms, feeling the blood rush through my veins with each beat of my heart.
“Probably should have done that a long time ago,” Ewan whispers, resting his forehead against mine.
I chuckle, for the first time in forever feeling like I have my best friend back. Damn, it feels good.
“Timing was never your thing,” I joke, hoping I can still do that.
He scoff-laughs, and even without looking, I can feel the smile spreading across his face. The Ewan smile—the shy, sheepish grin that still gives me butterflies.
“That’s why I had you.”
I nod, shivering, although I’m not sure if it’s his openness and sincerity or the spring rain that is causing my reaction.
Ewan doesn’t seem to think twice though, scooping me up like a groom carries a bride, scurrying across the pavement and back up the stairs.
The small overhang at my front door doesn’t do much, barely covering one of us, but it’s better than the parking lot.
“So, what now?” I ask, uncertainty creeping in.
There’s a part of me that would still marry him tomorrow if he asked. Head straight to the courthouse, stand in front of Judge Robinson, and promise to love him until death do us part. But there’s another who wants answers. Who is still hurt.
“I don’t know, Mais,” he admits, placing his hands on my hips. I shudder out a sigh, wanting to fall into him. “I know we both have so much left unsaid, and have a lot to catch up on, but…I…”
I nod. Because I know. He doesn’t have to say it out loud. Even after all this time apart, we’re still connected enough for me to know what he’s thinking and feeling. Which means I know the whole mess that is inside his head right now. Because it’s the same one inside mine.
“Ewan, I…”
“Y’wanna go fishin’?”
Huh…what?!
I blink, hard, trying to make sure I heard him properly. That he just asked me what I think he just asked me.
“Wh-what?” I stutter, staring back at him blankly.
“Y’wanna go fishin’?” he repeats, as casually as ever.
As if he didn’t just turn my entire world on its axis with a single kiss, now he’s asking if I want to go fishing.
And yeah, I do.
Fuck, yes, I want to go fishing with Ewan Hayes.
Because what I wouldn’t have given all these years to be asked that question. To have Ewan look at me, with that sheepish grin, and ask me if I want to go fishing, the same way he would have asked me when we were younger. Like this is any other day.
Smiling, I look up at him, feeling like I’m on top of the world. Like for the first time in a decade, I’m myself again.
“More than you know.”