Chapter 19
Dawson stretched languidly in Riley’s bed, smiling at the sounds of someone puttering around in the kitchen space. The smell of fresh coffee wafted under the blankets where he’d cocooned himself, luring him out into the open.
He popped his head out from under the covers and then froze, eyes widening. A woman he’d never seen before stood in Riley’s kitchen, buttering toast. Two men were with her, one seated at the table and the other leaning against the counter. Neither of them looked surprised to see him, but the woman turned around and gasped, the butter knife in her hand clattering to the floor.
Dawson swallowed down his fright and pulled the blankets up to cover himself. Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Who were these people? Had he woken up in the wrong apartment? No, his bag sat beside the bed where he’d left it. “Hello,” he said quietly.
The man at the table, with shoulder-length dirty-blond hair up in a ponytail, snickered. “I can’t believe you didn’t notice the person-shaped lump in Riley’s bed, Mum. And the shower running, which means there are two people in the apartment.”
Technically three. Fuck, Gideon must be in the shower with Riley.
She awkwardly wiped her hands on her dress. “Where are my manners? I’m Theresa, Riley’s mum. It’s lovely to meet you...”
Holy fucking shit. Riley’s mum. Which meant the two men were his brothers.
The one at the table lifted a hand, a smirk curling on his lips. “Peyton. I’m the youngest. This is Lucas, the idiot.”
“Where does that rank?” Lucas asked sarcastically. “Hey, man. You want some coffee?”
Why were they acting so casual? I’m fucking naked in your brother’s bed! Panic set in, and Dawson wished he could crawl back under the covers and never come out.
“There’s plenty to go around,” Theresa said pleasantly. “I’d ask if you have a mug preference, but Riley’s are all the same. Come on over, and we’ll get you fed and hydrated.”
“I don’t think coffee hydrates,” Lucas said. “I can confirm that after six, I still need to drink water.”
“Who’s letting you have six coffees?” Peyton asked.
“I…” Dawson had no words. He couldn’t think of a single word in the English language. What were words?
Peyton snorted. He grabbed one of the mugs on the table and brought it over to him. “Where are your pants?”
Dawson’s heart lodged in his throat, and he held the blankets tighter to his chest. Maybe if he squeezed his eyes shut for long enough, they would disappear.
Also, he had no idea where his pants were. The last he’d seen them, Riley—Mr. Wants Everything in Its Place—had thrown them to the side and then fucked his brains out. Where had they ended up? A quick glance told him they weren’t within reach.
Dawson’s face heated, and now he wanted to die. Forget the blankets. He needed to throw himself off the balcony. Wrap the sheets around himself and run straight for the door.
“Never mind,” Peyton said, disappearing into the walk-in robe beside the bed.
Dawson waited awkwardly for him to emerge. When he did, he came out with a pair of comfortable-looking sweats.
“You look like a big guy, and Riley is leaner than you. But these are Danny’s—our brother—and he’s built even bigger than you, so they should fit.” Peyton passed them over, along with black briefs. “They might be tight, but you know, needs must.”
“Thank you,” Dawson said quietly. He awkwardly tugged them on under the sheets, careful not to let anything show. Theresa turned her back on them, dealing with the toast and giving him privacy. He couldn’t properly explain how much he appreciated that.
Riley’s family was here . He wasn’t ready for that, especially considering the fact that Sadie wouldn’t even talk to him. She’d missed all of Riley’s childhood, and here were Riley’s brothers. They’d grown up with Riley, seen him in all his awkward phases—he probably hadn’t had any awkward phases, but the sentiment still stood—and had gotten all the things that Sadie had been deprived of because of the adoption.
What the hell was Dawson supposed to say to them?
He finally got the clothes on, lamented the fact he couldn’t do anything about the nest called his hair, and climbed out of the bed reluctantly.
“You couldn’t get him a shirt?” Lucas snickered.
Dawson wrapped his arms around himself self-consciously.
“Danny doesn’t keep his whole wardrobe here.”
A shirt—Riley’s white shirt—was draped over the end of the bed, and Dawson grabbed it, shrugging it on. He at least knew from experience that it fit. Thank fuck, Riley wore shirts that gave him room to move, and it wasn’t plastered to him like a second skin.
“Come, sit, sit,” Theresa said warmly. “Do you like Vegemite? Peanut butter? There should be some plum jam in there; it’s Riley’s favourite.”
Dawson sat where she told him to, without answering the question. She could put whatever she wanted on his toast, and he’d eat it, just to be polite. Good thing he did actually like all the options.
Lucas dropped into the chair opposite, and Peyton sat directly beside him, expertly caging him in. Fucking fantastic.
“I didn’t catch your name, sweetheart,” Theresa said gently.
“Oh. It’s Dawson.”
She smiled, and his heart seized up. He hadn’t expected someone so sweet to have raised Riley, who embodied surly and reticent. She was nothing like he’d imagined, given Riley’s personality.
“It’s so nice to meet you, Dawson. We’ve never met one of Riley’s boyfriends before,” she said happily. The plate of toast she put in front of him had the perfect ratio of Vegemite and butter, all melted and gooey.
“He’s never had a boyfriend before,” Lucas pointed out. “Can robots date?”
“I think it would depend on how advanced his technology is. If he has prime upgrades, he might be able to turn that feature on?”
“Robots aren’t allowed to find love?” Theresa asked primly.
“Did you just agree that Riley is a robot?” Lucas asked.
“I did not. Eat your breakfast.”
Peyton took a bite out of his own toast, still wearing that shit-eating grin.
“So,” Lucas said, leaning back in his chair. He pulled a corner of his toast off. “How long have you and my brother been doing the horizontal tango?”
“Lucas!” Theresa scolded.
“What?” Lucas protested. “It’s a legitimate question! We just found the dude having a sleepover. I didn’t even know Ry did sleepovers. I’m a little curious.”
“They could have been doing the standing tango.”
“The point is, a tango happened.”
Peyton nodded sagely.
They were like watching a ping-pong match. Dawson didn’t know where to look, or whether he should just put his head down and ignore them until they went away. That was a ruder approach, but it was one that meant he could avoid all the things.
“I’m very sorry about them, Dawson. I tried to instil manners, but as you can see, I wasn’t successful, and there’s no hope for them.” Theresa sat at the last available seat with a mug cradled in her hands. “We’re very sorry for barging in like this. All the times I’ve come in here to feed Riley, there’s never been anyone else. Oh, there was that one time.”
“That one time?” Lucas asked. “You can’t say that and not elaborate. We need all the details.”
Did they? Dawson didn’t want the details. Had no desire to know who had come before him and Gideon. Not jealousy, exactly, just… no willingness to acknowledge that Riley had ever been naked with anyone else.
“Oh.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Quinn was here once.”
Peyton deflated. “I was hoping for juicy gossip, Mum.”
“Your boyfriend sleeping at your brother’s place with only one bed isn’t juicy gossip?” Lucas asked.
Dawson flinched when someone kicked him. Lucas burst out laughing, and Peyton looked chagrined.
“Sorry,” Peyton apologised. “That was meant for him.”
“S’okay.” Honestly, getting kicked didn’t even register on the “oh shit” scale that morning.
The shower shut off, and the piece of toast in Dawon’s throat lodged there uncomfortably. He swallowed around the dryness and tried not to let the sheer panic beating rapidly in his chest show on his face.
He should warn them that there were people out here. Could they hear? Did they already know? They should have come up with some sort of discreet signal.
For what? When parents show up at your house while you’re naked in your lover’s bed? It seemed like too specific a thing to need a warning for. They could have created a generic one for all occasions. Too little, too late.
A laugh echoed through. One that was definitely not Riley’s. Then the murmur of voices, a low moan. All three faces turned to look at Dawson, a mix of confusion, concern, and curiosity on them. Dawson closed his eyes in horror. How did he make this all go away?
The door opened, steam pouring out. Riley came out first, one hand towelling his hair. Thankfully, he was wearing slacks and an open shirt. More presentable than Dawson had been. He stopped in the doorway the second he noticed them, hand pausing. That answered the question as to whether they’d heard anything. Dawson should have made a bird sound.
Gideon peeked around him, also dressed, his shirt buttoned up, the most presentable of all of them. Except for the open collar and the clear red mark in the shape of a mouth on his throat. Subtlety had left through the side window.
“Oh,” Theresa said quietly. She looked from Gideon to Dawson and back again. None of them said anything, the shock spreading.
“Damn,” Lucas said with a low whistle. “Gideon Clark. If someone had said to me that my brother was getting frisky in the shower with some dude, you would not have even registered.”
Gideon’s mouth opened to answer, and nothing came out.
“What are you all doing here?” Riley asked.
“We went to Mum’s for breakfast,” Lucas piped up, “but she was on her way out here to see you, and we thought, hey, we haven’t seen our big bro in weeks , and this is a great opportunity to—”
“Ambush me?”
“Exactly,” Peyton agreed.
Riley glanced at their plates. “I don’t have bread. Or Vegemite.”
“Have I ever mentioned how boring you are?” Lucas said. “You want a seat, Gid? You can have mine.”
“Thanks, I’m good,” Gideon said, still looking like a deer caught in headlights. Dawson could relate. He’d been hoping for a leisurely morning of sex and then maybe going out to get some breakfast together—like a date —not… this. Ambush was a good word for it.
“I think boning two guys at once is like the opposite of boring,” Peyton said. “I assume it’s both and not like a, ‘Oh no, he cheated on me, why is there another guy in your bed’ situation? Are we about to watch a big showdown?”
“I’m not answering that question on principle,” Riley said. “Hi, Mum.” He dropped a kiss on the top of her head and went to the cupboard, pulling down more mugs. Acting as calm as the others had. A family trait? After this, Dawson couldn’t deny that Riley had a wonderful family. That he had a family , period. He hadn’t missed out because he didn’t have Sadie’s last name.
“It doesn’t look like you need introductions,” Riley said with an arched eyebrow.
“No, we met boyfriend number one. Number two? Which order would it go in? Who were you dating first?” Peyton asked.
“Alphabetically?” Lucas suggested. “How do you pick your number one with the four guys you’re sleeping with?”
“Alphabetically is a good call. So Dawson is number one, and Gideon is number two.”
“I’ll try not to be offended by that,” Gideon said with mock solemness.
Dawson couldn’t help the smile even as sadness flooded him. He wished Sadie could meet them and get a glimpse of Riley’s life, be part of it in her own way. He wanted things to be different, and he didn’t know how to get it there. None of them could keep their head in the sand anymore about it.
Gideon stood behind Dawson and stole half of his toast, taking a bite. “I have to go pick up my son from Lucia’s, so I should get going.”
Dawson twisted to glare at him. He could not seriously be thinking about leaving Dawson here by himself, could he?
Gideon smiled and kissed his cheek. “Do you want a lift, sweetheart?” he asked, in a whisper that carried.
“Aww, how cute,” Lucas cooed.
“So cute,” Peyton agreed. “How did you meet?”
“Enough,” Riley said, thumping a mug on the table beside Dawson’s plate. “Q he’d almost made their first meeting sound totally normal and not anything like the shitshow it had been.
“You met both your men at your work. How fitting for a workaholic like you,” Peyton said with a lopsided grin.
“I’m surprised no one at home has poisoned you,” Riley responded.
“They all like me there.”
“Small miracles.”
Brotherly banter. Dawson had enough of it with Marshall. Watching Riley interact with his family like this had him struggling with a mix of emotions. A bittersweet tone overlapped it all even as he liked seeing it. It was beautiful and heartbreaking. Sadie could have been part of this. Maybe not exactly this since them being Riley’s family didn’t automatically make them hers, but the principle still stood. There were so many things she would miss out on.
Guilt swirled in with everything else. If he stayed with Riley, he would get to experience it. Almost as if he were taking it from her. She didn’t deserve that. And neither did he. The rock and hard place remained firmly between them.
“Are you getting enough sleep, dear?” Theresa asked, leaning forward and patting Riley’s hand. “You look a little tired.”
Peyton spat out his drink at the same Lucas choked on his. Dawson wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole.
“What?” Theresa asked, looking between them, confused. “He looks tired! Am I not allowed to worry about my own son? Who raised you two animals?”
“Funny, she looked a bit like you,” Lucas said.
“I’m getting adequate sleep, Mum, don’t worry.”
Peyton snickered as he mopped up his mess. “Is that what you’re calling it?”
“I will throw you off the balcony,” Riley promised.
“I don’t think Quinn would like it if you did that.”
“He’ll get over it,” Riley said, deadpan.
Dawson smiled into his mug.
Getting called to his father’s office across town wasn’t unusual in and of itself. Riley frequently visited, both to see his father in a personal capacity, and to give him in-person briefs when needed. He rarely got called there, however, and he didn’t like when things happened out of the ordinary. It never meant anything good. The last time this had happened, Quinn and Grady had been pulled from him for a task force that should have lasted two months, and he’d ended up without them for almost five.
Riley got his refusal speech ready because he refused to allow anyone on his team to go anywhere anymore, not without their approval. He’d had to listen to Grady complain about it for months afterwards. Considering some of the details, and the terrible organisational skills of the one in charge, Riley had to concur that Grady hadn’t been wrong. His detective liked to grumble, but he knew his stuff, and he had an unparalleled eye for detail despite his peculiar taste in men.
“Sit down,” Simon said severely when Riley entered the room.
Great. That tone did nothing to reassure him. Something bad had happened.
“Please don’t tell me that you’re commandeering some of my men,” Riley said. “I’m not agreeing to it until they want to, and if you can promise that I’ll have temporary detectives put in their place, effective immediately, so that whoever you’re taking can properly get walked through their new caseload. And I won’t allow any of them to bring their own cases with them.” His men had more than enough of their own, and Riley had no patience for incompetence. None of his men had time to handhold anyone, and neither did he. It wasn’t his fault that the other PACs were so lackadaisical, and that Riley had snagged the best detectives in Sydney for himself. They should have been smarter about who they chose and their recruitment filtering.
Simon chuckled. “I’m not taking any of your men, son, don’t worry.”
Why had he been brought here, then? “My quarterly report isn’t due for another three weeks.” He’d almost finished it but needed to go over a few things first, and speak to Quinn and Greer about a few points, and clarify some numbers. Did Simon want it early? That could have been sent in an email, instead of dragging him halfway across the city.
“I have more than enough paperwork to keep me occupied for a good long while,” Simon said. “And I know I don’t need to chase you for it. That’s not why I asked you in either.”
“Then what the hell is going on?” Was he being deliberately vague or skirting the issue?
“I heard you had a few sick in the last month,” Simon said.
Riley narrowed his eyes. There had to be a point to this line of questioning, but Riley couldn’t see it. He didn’t like when that happened. “Yes, Angela and Gideon were out of commission for a few weeks.” Angela for a few weeks, Gideon for a week. What did that have to do with anything? Had someone complained his department wasn’t pulling their weight because of a few on sick leave? He had the best stats in the entirety of Sydney, so they could shove their complaints somewhere unpleasant.
Simon laced his fingers together and placed them on his desk, leaning forward. Riley knew the move, used it himself, in fact. “Riley, your mother told me about yesterday.”
Fuck. Riley should have expected that. It hadn’t occurred to him at the time that his mum finding out could get back to here. “You can’t use what Mum said to you at work or use it against me.” Except he could. Especially when it came to how much Riley had compromised himself, and the fact his position above Gideon put them in a precarious situation.
“Is that what you think I’m trying to do? Use it against you?” Simon tapped a finger on the desk. “Regardless of how I found out, I won’t be the only one. These things have a way of getting out eventually. It’s a serious breach of conduct, and it puts your leadership into question, not to mention the foundation of your relationship with Gideon, considering your power over him.”
“You think I coerced him?”
“You’re not listening to me, Riley. You’re usually better at not letting your emotions get in the way of logic.”
“I can’t separate my emotions from the man I’m sleeping with,” Riley said tersely. Not even if he wanted to. They’d promised when they’d started that they wouldn’t allow it to affect their jobs. That had lasted barely a fortnight before they were already in too deep. How long would it have taken for it to get back to his dad, even without this incident? Riley wished he could say they could have kept it secret forever, but they’d been less than discreet, too consumed with their need for each other to be careful enough.
“You need to think about what’s more important: him or your career.”
“Can’t have both?” Riley asked sarcastically. He already knew the answer. If Simon wanted his resignation right now, Riley would give it, without hesitation.
“As it stands? No, you can’t. If Gideon were to transfer, and you waited a good while to announce anything, then we could possibly smooth it over. But if anyone gets wind that you slept with him while he worked for you, the repercussions could get ugly. You know that.”
He’d known it even before he’d kissed Gideon in his office. And done it anyway. Gideon and rational thought had never gone hand in hand.
“I’m in love with him,” Riley said honestly. He couldn’t tell the people that needed to hear it, fear curling like tentacles around his chest. He had to trust that they knew, or that they would work it out themselves. In the end, words were meaningless if he couldn’t show them. “With both of them. I’m sure Mum told you about Dawson as well.” She wouldn’t have revealed one without the other.
“Dawson won’t end your career. Gideon could. He will . I hope you understand that.” Simon sighed and rubbed his forehead, another gesture that Riley had inherited from him. One that showed exasperation. And fondness.
Did Sadie hold some of the same traits as him, simply through biology? How many markers did they have in common? Riley had wondered it before and hated that he’d allowed it to take up space inside his mind. A space that he couldn’t purge, no matter how hard he tried. And now he couldn’t, because Dawson changed everything.
“Dawson is Sadie’s best friend.”
Simon’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Your biological sister, Sadie?”
Riley merely nodded. He didn’t know another Sadie, and neither did Simon.
“You don’t like to make things easy for yourself, do you? Sometimes I think you deliberately make it harder because you think you need to prove yourself in every situation.”
Riley had nothing to say to that. It’s not something he did on purpose, though he wasn’t so unaware that he couldn’t acknowledge part of him had always wanted to prove that he belonged with them, and here.
“Does anyone in your office know?” Simon asked.
“Quinn does.” That shouldn’t come as a surprise. It hadn’t been by choice, and Riley should have been more discreet, but if Riley were going to confide in anyone, it would have been Quinn. Despite the censure and the judgement. Quinn remained his voice of reason, one of the best detectives on the force, and a man who would walk through a fire for those he cared about even as he scolded them for setting it. It might not have been the smartest move, but Sebastian hadn’t been wrong to put him on a pedestal. A better man had never been born.
“Anyone else?”
“No.” Grady might. He’d never say anything, either to Riley’s face or to anyone else’s.
“What are you going to do? There needs to be some kind of plan. I assume that ending it isn’t an option?”
“No.” He would walk away from the career before he gave him up. Before he gave Dawson up either.
I love you .
As much as he loved his career, it wasn’t more important than his men, wasn’t more important than a future with them, no matter what that ended up looking like. What they were building had to be more important than a job. He’d sacrificed too much over the years for it, and he no longer wanted to keep doing that. Because of them.
Of course, he would prefer not to lose his job, but if it meant having a life with Dawson and Gideon, then he would have to adjust and find a new path.
“And if this ends your career?”
“So be it.”
“Christ, Riley, you give me a headache sometimes. First thing we’re gonna do is transfer Gideon to a new department, or a new station. No, don’t give me that face. It’s your only option if you want to salvage both of your careers.”
“Gideon is one of my best detectives.”
“You say that about all your detectives.”
For good reason. He’d handpicked every single one of them. “Facts are facts.”
“He’s now your boyfriend, and if that fact takes precedence, then I couldn’t care less if he was solving every single case that comes across your desk and getting goddamn medals from the prime minister. He moves, end of discussion.”
Riley sat back, biting his tongue. He knew his father was right, and he hated it. “Why is he the one that has to move? I could move.” Why did Gideon have to uproot his entire life because Riley couldn’t keep it in his pants? Riley had jumped at the chance to touch the one man that he never thought he’d be able to, and he would take full responsibility for that.
“It’s quieter, it’s cleaner. But if you want to transfer instead, then fine. You better come up with a plausible reason after you fought so hard to assemble the team you have and how much you go to bat for them when the upper brass tries to poach them—as you so elegantly put it.”
“You’re part of that upper brass.” Riley called it poaching because it accurately described what the brass continuously tried to do after he’d painstakingly turned his team into the best in Sydney. They could go fuck themselves and find other toys to play with.
“I don’t make decisions when it comes to you or your department. The conflict of interest isn’t worth the headache. I can get enough of that from you and your brothers. Case in point.”
Riley wasn’t stupid enough to take that bait. “I want to talk to Gideon first before we make any decisions.”
Simon nodded. “I’ll have a look around, see what openings we have and what options he has. Even if I have to make a new bloody position for him, I’ll do it to make this mess go away.”
Yeah, that would stop the rumours from spreading about preferential treatment.
Riley stood and grasped the back of his chair. “Or me,” he insisted. He’d look himself, see where he could go. He wouldn’t put this all on Gideon and expect that he would be the one to change his career trajectory for this. They were in it together, and that’s how they would navigate it.
“Or you.”
Satisfied, Riley headed for the door.
“Riley.”
Riley paused, twisting his head to look back.
“I’m happy for you, son.”