Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Bowie
“Holy shit, dude! Just look at this place! Have you ever seen a hotel like this?”
“You know I haven’t,” I replied, looking around, seriously in awe myself, though I lacked the energy to show the same kind of appreciation Tony had.
Not only were there two king-sized beds for us to pass out in, but there was also a mini-living room and a giant flat-screen television that took up half the wall.
We carefully leaned our guitar cases in the corner of the room furthest from everything else, with Tony steadily keeping up a stream of chatter that added to the swirling sensation in my head.
One of the few good things about having him with me was that I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I hadn’t dreamed how the day had turned out.
His excitement was confirmation enough that I’d not only been signed by Masterson but also that we’d literally met two of our idols in Stoli and Joey.
“This is seriously a #bestdayever!” Tony declared. “How are you not more excited? Dude, this is literally your dream come true, and I feel like I’ve been celebrating it more than you have.”
“Because you have,” I pointed out. “And I’m good with that.
Meeting our literal idols today was completely badass; I just don’t get why this couldn’t have happened before my life went to shit.
A part of me is angry that my former band missed out on this opportunity, and another part is pissed at myself for wanting to share this with them. ”
“Dude, that’s because you never got any closure, just an awkward visit from Duce explaining that they’d decided to press forward without you in the hopes that the guys who’d been scouting the band wouldn’t be put off by the change in guitar players.”
“And they weren’t,” I grumbled, missing them a little less now that Tony had reminded me of that.
“Fucker didn’t even make it past the doorway of my hospital room when he came to tell me that, either.
Didn’t sit, didn’t even stick around for a five-minute conversation.
He just clung to the fuckin’ door, shuffling from one foot to the other, looking everywhere but at me lying there wrapped up like a fuckin’ mummy.
If there was one fuckin’ day since that accident that I wanted someone, hell, even needed someone to look at me and see me and not the ruin left over from the wreck, it was right then and there, and he couldn’t even give me that. ”
“Which tells you all you need to know about him,” Tony said.
“You were a means to an end for them, that’s all.
Look what happened when they tried to replace you.
The whole band went to shit. They aren’t even a band anymore, while you just got signed to the number one management company in the whole fucking country.
That’s huge right there, Bowie. Once it fully sinks in, I think you’ll see just how amazing this opportunity is. ”
Sighing, I dropped down onto the couch, trying to muster up the energy for a shower while my belly was still full of the amazing meal we’d eaten.
Before today, I’d considered Chappy’s Steakhouse the top tier of steakhouses.
Man, was I misinformed. The place we’d eaten at tonight hadn’t been one of those chain places either, and there sure as hell hadn’t been sawdust and peanut shells on the floor.
“It is an amazing opportunity,” I said. “And I’m willing to run with it as far as it will take me.
I still can’t believe that Joey said he could see this new band recording the song I’d played at the audition.
Like, I can still hear those words echoing in my head, and holy shit, that’s some serious validation right there. ”
“And you deserve it.”
I slapped my hand on the arm of the chair in response to his words and glared over to the chair, where he sat fiddling with the remote, trying to find something for us to watch.
With his eyes glued to the television screen, he didn’t see the glare I shot him, which was probably a good thing, since he didn’t deserve it any more than the redhead at auditions today had deserved me snapping at him.
“Why couldn’t I deserve it back when I still dreamed of being on posters and the cover of Guitar World?” I grumbled.
While I’d been lucky enough to have a friend with me, even if I wanted to throttle Tony sometimes, he’d been sitting there alone, and yeah, I get the whole bit about nerves and seeking interaction to keep them at bay.
The only thing that had kept mine in check throughout the morning was hunger and annoyance at being dragged out of bed at an ungodly hour for our last-minute trek from Portland to Seattle.
Had he been seated anywhere but directly in front of me, I wouldn’t have cared if he chatted with us, but each time he’d turned around, I’d felt my paranoia rev up at the thought of anyone seeing my scars.
So much for wanting my picture on anything these days.
“Fate had a different plan for you is all,” Tony replied, leaving it on the highlights from the latest MMA super card, since we both enjoyed watching the fights.
“Yeah, well, fuck fate in its wrinkled little asshole,” I groused.
“You could look at it that way, or you could thank fate for not giving you this opportunity back when you were still a cocky bastard,” Tony pointed out.
“Otherwise, you might have been the one to get up there today and try to play a damned Social or Maiden song. I felt for that poor bastard, I truly did. Talk about being smacked back to reality when Stoli cut him off halfway through.”
“Could you blame him? What musician wants to sit there and listen to someone butcher the hell out of one of their songs? Dude did such a hack job on it that he could give Jason a run for his money next Friday the 13th.”
Tony sputtered, choked, then started laughing so hard he wound up leaning over the arm of the chair.
“I have never seen someone try so hard to impress someone that they tried to fuck a hole through their guitar,” I grumbled, which just got Tony laughing harder. “All four of them were so much better than what they showed before Joey and Stoli got there.”
“Because they were too busy fanboying and falling all over themselves trying to impress them, unlike you.”
“Hey, I wanted to impress them too, I just didn’t dare look up.”
“See, another plus.”
“Only you could find pluses in me looking like Frankenstein’s monster.”
“Dude, stop, seriously, those scars are far less noticeable now than after the accident first happened. You’re the only one who still sees them the way they were when the bandages first came off. Have you ever once stopped to consider that people look at you ‘cause you’re fuckin’ hot?”
Snorting, I just shook my head at him. “Only you would find a train wreck hot.”
“Untrue. Do you see the way people rubberneck whenever there’s an accident?
The bigger the disaster, the more the looky-loos turn out to see just how bad it is.
You think folks sit in the heat swilling beer because they like watching cars go round and round a racetrack?
Fuck no, they are there to see twisted metal and tires flying off in every direction. ”
Grumbling, I just pinched the bridge of my nose because he had a point, even if I didn’t care to admit it.
“Dude, relax. We should be celebrating right now. You’re heading to the big time, and I get to tell everyone I knew you when.”
“I wish you were going with me.”
“I wish I was too, but again, it’s all in the hands of the fates,” he pointed out.
“Today wasn’t my day. Next time might not be either.
It stings to not have made it out of the first round, especially with the way those guys got up there and fucked up the final round the way they did.
But it taught me something too. Listening to some of you guys in round two, I could see that I was playing too tight and not letting the notes breathe so the emotion could come through. ”
“Been trying to tell you that for years, fucker,” I reminded him. “You’ve always been the more technically solid one out of the two of us, but you’ve gotta learn to make love to the strings, man, and not just try to bang the hell out of them like you do your colony of twinks.”
“With the way the image of that dude from this afternoon is now burned into my brain so deep no amount of bleach will ever touch it, I will definitely do better in that regard the next time I get up on the stage.”
“There you go.”
I was glad he wasn’t trying to pick his playing apart, because that never helped anyone.
That he’d seen room for growth after his performance today was the best possible outcome, because he had the potential to be seriously fucking phenomenal.
He was right about me being a cocky bastard before my accident too, especially when it came to being up on stage.
Bare-chested, in shredded tight-legged jeans, I’d preened like a fuckin’ peacock, strutted like one too, showing off my body and my skills for everyone in attendance.
Maybe a little too much sometimes.
An image flashed through my head of the way I used to mess with Axis, trying to push him to engage more during performances.
Playing harder, playing faster, trying to get him to duel on the few songs where they had alternating guitar solos.
Thinking about it now, the thing that stood out in my head was the way he’d look down at his fingers instead of at me, focusing to the point where there were times when he fumbled because of it, like he’d been thinking too hard or second-guessing himself whenever I interacted with him that way.
Had I, in subtle ways, bullied him a bit, especially after our bandmates had deemed me our lead guitarist?
Thinking about it now, I could see that maybe I had, and in the process, contributed more to the rift that had grown between us.
Tony was also right in his assessment about the song I’d have chosen if I was the same man I’d been back then.
I sure as hell would have tried to play one of Social or Maiden’s songs to show them that I’d studied their work and aspired to be just as good.
And I’d have probably crashed and burned the way that poor guitarist did today.
Damn.
Okay, maybe I had been a total dick back then.
Guess I really couldn’t expect that Axis would have been loyal to me when I’d treated him so poorly.
The other two though, fuck them. They were the ones who’d encouraged that bit of competition between us in the first place, claiming it would up the excitement level of the fans to see us dueling it out on our guitars.
They hadn’t been wrong.
But it hadn’t necessarily been the best approach to take either, in hindsight anyway.
I wouldn’t let that happen this time. If this build-a-band plan that I was now a part of was going to come together and actually work, then we needed to become a true team, watch out for one another, and make sure that no one acted like they were above the band as a whole.
Look at me, thinking I could actually be a positive influence.
I hadn’t even been able to look my idols in the eye fully today.
Each time I’d spoken with one of them, it had either been with my head down or cocked to the side to make certain my hair formed a curtain over the damaged side of my face so they wouldn’t see the deep scars carved through my skin.
I would forever be grateful to Tony for hurrying around the table to sit across from me so none of the others could at dinner tonight. He’d know I’d have struggled otherwise and likely had to excuse myself at least once over the course of the meal to hit my vape just to cut down on the nervousness.
“So how do you think this whole build-a-band thing is going to work?” Tony asked, echoing some of the thoughts I’d been sitting there tossing around.
“No clue, man. I’ve never seen anyone set out to bring a bunch of strangers together to play,” I replied.
“Gonna take some getting used to, I bet. Learning how to vibe with one another and find your timing so you’re not all over the place.”
“Yeah. I bet it will.”
“You’ll figure it out though. I’ve seen you do enough pickup play in bars. You honestly were the perfect guy for them to choose for this, even if they don’t know it yet.”
“Here’s to hoping I can live up to their expectations,” I replied, sighing as I ran my fingers through my hair.
“I have no idea how tomorrow is supposed to go, outside of them wanting me at the auditions for the singer. Like, is it just so I’ll be able to see who I’ll be working with, or are they going to be expecting me to chime in?
There’s no way I can give an opinion on someone without actually doing a song or two with them. ”
“Just tell them that if they ask, it’ll go far better than trying to bluff your way through it and saying the wrong things.”
Score another point for Tony. If there was one thing I appreciated about our friendship above any other I’d ever had, it was that we had a way of keeping each other grounded and refused to bullshit the other when they’d fucked up.
“True,” I said, as the weight of the day truly began to set in.
“Go grab the first shower, you’re way grubbier than I am after being up there beneath the lights so many times.”
“It was only three, dammit, but yeah, I’ll go since I had to rush through mine this morning,” I grumbled, snagging my overnight bag on the way to the bathroom.
Since we hadn’t known how long the day was going to stretch, or if there would be a second day of auditions, we’d planned to stay at the motel we usually stayed at whenever we had gigs in Seattle.
Since I hadn’t driven so much as a go-cart since my wreck, Tony and I coordinated our bookings so we could either play back-to-back or play shows together.
He had a decent voice, mellow and smokey, though not quite right for metal, while I could hit the high notes and growl like a snarling demon, providing great backup but without the range to be a true lead singer.
It would be interesting to hear how the singers sounded tomorrow and if there was anyone who stood out from the crowd.
It seemed like that was what they were looking for.
Hopefully whoever they chose was easy to get along with, because deep down, I missed the feeling of brotherhood that I’d thought I shared with my last band and would love to have that back again.