Chapter 40
FORTY
T
ripp paused sanding for a moment to run a hand over the surface of the wood. The honey-toned oak glowed in the sunlight coming through the open door of the workshop, its friction-warmed surface smooth as satin against his skin.
“Morning.”
He straightened as Willow stepped inside with Rufus, her hair loose around her shoulders and damp from a recent shower. The initial spike of joy at seeing her was instantly buried under a landslide of guilt and dread. “Morning. Sleep well?”
“Practically unconscious all night, but then I woke up in your big empty bed and felt lonely.”
He’d only left the bed because he’d been restless and didn’t want to wake her. “I like to start work early before it gets too hot.”
She nodded, a distinctly satisfied gleam in her eyes as she walked over and slid her arms around his waist, peering up at him with those beautiful brown eyes he could drown in. “I missed you.”
He dropped a kiss on her upturned lips. Couldn’t help sinking his hand into the back of her damp hair and deepening it. She tasted like his cinnamon toothpaste and smelled of his spicy soap and shampoo. He was addicted.
“Oh. Sorry.”
They broke apart to find his dad standing in the open doorway, wearing a sheepish expression. “Morning. I uh... I’m just gonna grab some coffee from your kitchen if you don’t mind. My machine’s not cooperating this morning.”
“Hi, Mr. Rawlings.”
He smiled warmly at Willow. “Hi yourself.”
She turned back to Tripp. Behind her, his dad gave him a grin and an enthusiastic thumbs up. “Rufus and I’ll go grab us some coffees and bring them out. Sound good?”
“Sounds great.”
“Just black for you, right? And one sugar one cream for you?” she asked his dad.
“You remembered.”
“Of course I did.” She aimed a secret smile at Tripp before leaving them alone.
Tripp stared after her, the sudden return of his inner turmoil filling his chest with concrete.
“So.” His dad sauntered forward, bouncing his eyebrows. “This is good news, huh?”
He nodded, not sure how to answer. It was, and it wasn’t.
His dad frowned. “Something wrong?”
Yeah, I’m fucked. He looked away, unable to meet that concerned gaze. “Yeah.”
“What is it?”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. Heaved out a heavy breath. “She doesn’t know, Dad. I haven’t told her.”
A beat of silence passed. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t want to lose her.” And he was terrified that’s exactly what would happen.
“But you love her. Don’t you?”
He nodded. No denying that, even to himself. He’d loved her for so long, and after last night...
He was so fucked.
“Son.” His dad laid a solid, comforting hand on his shoulder. “You’ll tell her when the time is right, because it’s the right thing to do. And because that’s the kind of man you are.”
“And then?” he said bleakly. This whole situation was wild. He’d been in love with Willow for more than half his life, and last night she’d finally become his. He should be fucking euphoric right now. Literally walking on clouds.
Instead, it felt like he was about to face the gallows.
He’d been so happy for those first few moments when he’d woken up to Willow curled up so trustingly against him, all defenses down as she slept. Until his brain had kicked in and reminded him what a lying piece of shit coward he was.
“Then you’ll suck it up and give her space to process it all while she decides what she wants.
And while she’s doing all that, you need to give her the benefit of the doubt.
That sweet girl thinks the world of you, Tripp.
Give her a chance. Give the two of you that chance.
You know you can’t hold onto her without giving her all the facts. It wouldn’t be real.”
He nodded, feeling like he was slowly being smothered. “I know.”
His dad patted him on the back. “Good.” He stepped back and cleared his throat as Rufus trotted into the shop.
The dog paused for a split second, then lowered his head slightly in recognition, tail wagging as he came over to them.
“Look at this handsome guy. Morning, buddy.” He scratched Rufus’s head and ears.
Rufus looked up at Tripp, stretched out his neck and bumped Tripp’s hand with his nose. Tripp couldn’t help but smile as he stroked the dog’s soft fur, that awful pressure in his chest easing slightly. “Hi, Rufus.”
“Now that’s gotta be a good omen, am I right?” his dad said.
“What’s a good omen?” Willow asked, walking in with three steaming mugs of coffee in her hands.
“The way your dog has decided we’re his pals.” His dad accepted one of the mugs. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
“My pleasure.” She turned to Tripp. “Here you go. I’ll give you some sugar later.”
Tripp smothered a laugh. “Is that so?”
“Very much so.” She took a sip of her coffee, eyes sparkling at him over the rim of the mug.
Behind her, his dad set down his cup to give him a double thumbs up and a ridiculous open-mouthed grin.
Tripp struggled to keep a straight face. Way to be smooth, Dad. “I look forward to it.”
His dad cleared his throat. “Thanks for the coffee. Tripp, lemme know when you want me to head down to help with the installation.”
“Will do. Just waiting to hear back from Blaine about the timing.”
His dad left. Willow watched him, the naughty gleam in her eyes making it hard to think as he picked up the bit of fine sandpaper he’d been working with. “Is this another mantelpiece?”
He nodded, moving the sandpaper along the grain of the wood. “It’s for Blaine. He wanted another one for his home office. He’s going for an old English study vibe.”
“Kinda like The Skelly.”
“Yeah, but less gothic.”
She made an appreciative sound as she ran her fingertips over the surface of one of the fluted columns. He vividly remembered the feel of them stroking his skin last night. Still couldn’t believe it was real. “It’s so beautiful already. Are you going to carve a design into the front?”
“His family crest.” He had the design all drawn up.
“Nice.” She removed her hand and stepped back to study the piece. “You’re really talented, Tripp.”
He fought the flush creeping up his neck. Accepting compliments wasn’t easy for him, but hers filled him with pride. “Thanks. I enjoy it.”
“I can tell.”
Everything about this felt right. Her being at his home. In his workshop. The way she was so comfortable with his dad, and that his dad adored her too. The way she appreciated his work on an artistic level. She was so easy to be around, to have in his most private space.
This was exactly what he wanted. Every day for the rest of his life. If they could just overcome the invisible hurdle standing between them that she was still oblivious of, this could be his reality.
Knowing that it all might disappear once he told her tied his guts into knots.
“I thought we could have dinner in town again tonight,” he said. “Then take a walk along the water. Talk.” If the opportunity presented itself and the time seemed right, he would tell her everything.
Her smile hit him square in the heart. Made him ache in places he didn’t know he had. “I’d love that.”
He forced a smile in answer. “Good, then it’s a date.” Hopefully not their final one. He’d put off the inevitable for too long. All he could do was be honest with her and hope that her feelings for him were strong enough that she could forgive him and still want to be with him after.
If not... It was too bleak to think about.